SHK CH 146 (Patreon)
Content
[Tower of Babel]
After a rather tense meeting, though much less tense after they signed the contract, the girls streamed out of the room in teams.
After all, what they had signed was in a way a pact of non-aggression. It wasn’t as if they suddenly became the best friends in the world.
But, at the very least, they knew that this couldn’t continue. None of them were stupid. If there was one thing this event highlighted, it was that most of them did not trust each other. This was something normal, but this was also a fatal flaw the enemy could use.
As the last to walk out, Lilin and Setsuna keep looking at each other.
Even though Setsuna kept urging her with her eyes, Lilin still seemed to hesitate.
Finally, seemingly exasperated, she caught Lilin by the arm and pushed her out before talking loudly.
“Your majesty. Pardon my impudence, but the princess wishes to talk with you.”
Saying so, she bowed slightly before walking away.
Setsuna’s situation was a little awkward. Technically, she was a slave. But at the same time she was still a princess, even if a fallen one, and ultimately she was one of the future spouses of Sol.
Because of those three titles, Setsuna never really knew how to address Lilith and generally tried to avoid her.
This time though, she needed to stick out for her friend and rival.
‘I hope you have a good talk with your mother.’
A small smile formed on her face.
---
After the little commotion Setsuna caused, the others dispersed in hurry with a knowing smile. They all knew that the relationship between Lilin and Lilith was extremely stiff.
They didn’t wish to meddle in what could be a tentative way to mend their relationship.
Now alone, Lilith looked at her daughter who stubbornly refused to look at her. A faint smile formed on her face as she asked,
“Should we visit the garden? There are many things I wish to tell you.”
Lilin hesitated a little.
If she had to be honest. She did not want to hear the so-called truth. She felt like she would lose everything if she heard it.
But, recalling the encouraging smile of Setsuna and the words of Sol, she clenched her fists before relaxing.
“Let’s go.”
---
[Tower of Babel, hanging garden]
Under the moonlight, the daughter and mother duo stood on a bench while observing the beautiful painting of the milky way in the sky.
The atmosphere between the two was silent, almost oppressively so.
Ruminating the words of Lilith, Lilin showed a dazed expression.
On the side, Lilith only showed a bitter expression as she looked at the sky.
After they had reached the garden, Lilith began to explain the full story to Lilin. Aside from the identity of her father and the fact that she was dying soon, she hid nothing.
After this was done, Lilin seemed to have had her soul sucked out of her body as she sat listlessly.
This deadlock seemed like it would last for a long while, but it was broken by Lilin,
“So...I am basically a clone of you and whatever man was used?”
Lilith winced a little. In a way, it was an accurate description.
Lilith could not give birth normally. In fact, even though her reproductive organs functioned normally, she simply lacked the eggs necessary for reproduction.
As such, even though she birthed Lilin, in the truest way, they were not really mother and daughter but instead, copies of each other.
Currently, Lilin’s mind was in a complete mess. The revelation she received tonight was nothing short of earth-shattering.
Murmuring absent-mindedly, she said, “Every day, every night, I would receive gruesome training for reasons I did not understand. Even though it hurt so much, even though I would cry myself to sleep every night, I still held on.”
Her eyes reddened, “I have always thought that you hated me. I always wondered why? Was it because I was born from a forced marriage? Was it because I didn’t have enough talent? I did not understand, could not understand... But now, I see. In the end, I was nothing more than an experiment, and you--were never my mother in the first place.”
Wiping away the tears that threatened to spill, she stood up abruptly, “I think I have heard enough. Goodnight.”
Lilin had already decided to walk away when she felt her arm being gripped.
Turning around, she saw that the one that had caught her was none other than Lilith.
“What do you want?”
“Sit down please.”
Lilith asked with a pleading tone. She did not know why, but she had a hunch that if she let Lilin go now, the relationship between the two would be irreparable.
If it had happened a few months ago, or even a few weeks ago, she would not have cared. After all, she was destined to die. Rather than letting her daughter grieve her death, it would have been simpler if Lilin simply felt nothing for her.
But since that discussion with Sol, a small seed of hope had been planted in her heart. The seed was incredibly small and the earth in which it was planted was dry and nearly without nutrients.
But plants could even grow in the harshest desert and hope could bloom even in the midst of the greatest despair.
Lilith of course was still not conscious of all this, but she did not wish to see her daughter cry.
Lilin tried to fight back. All she wanted now was to enter her room and curl herself in a corner.
Seeing this, Lilith stood up and took Lilin firmly in her arms, hugging her so tightly that breath escaped her,
“I am sorry for being such a bad mother.”
“You are not my mother!”
Those words seemed to trigger Lilin as she fought back the hug, but Lilith did not let her go.
“I am!” Lilith shouted back, “I may be a bad mother. Someone who did not know how to raise you and take care of you. A cruel mother, someone who made you feel pain you should never have felt. But, at the end of the day, no matter how much you or anyone deny it, I am and will always be your mother and I am proud of it.”
When the two of them stood together like this under the moonlight, a beautiful scene seemed to be drawn while highlighting their similarities.
The greatest difference was that Lilith was still taller than Lilin.
Looking down at her daughter, she murmured, “You have really grown to become a beautiful woman.”
Lilin, who was still stunned by Lilith’s shout, couldn’t help but snort, “Aren’t you just praising yourself?”
A chuckle escaped Lilith.
The previously heated atmosphere seemed to calm down a little.
Sighing, Lilith buried her head in her daughter’s shoulder, “I know nothing can excuse how badly I have raised you. I cannot put into words how happy I was to see you grow into such a fine woman.”
Taking a deep breath, she continued,
“I was broken and helpless, alone and lost. I did not know what to do. All I knew was that I needed to care for you and Sol. Sol had his dragon family, and he is the Blessed prince. No matter what happened to me, he would still be alright. But you were different. I am the only one for you. I am your one and only family. That is why I was so harsh. I wanted you to be able to stand up and never break should anything happen to me.”
Lilith confessed all the things in her heart. The pressure on her heart was something she could never explain.
All those years, she had racked her brain, trying to find the best way to raise her daughter. To give her the strength to stand alone in this world.
She wished for her daughter to depend on no one, to be able to make her choice and choose her own way.
At the same time, the loss of her beloved brother and her impending death gnawed at her every day.
Being a single mother.
Becoming a queen.
Lilith knew she had hundreds of reasons to explain her actions. But, at the end of the day, there was only one truth.
“I am sorry for all the pain I have inflicted upon you.”
No matter what the reasons were, she had hurt her daughter.
“I am sorry for everything you had to endure.”
Even if the results were positive, her misjudged love scarred her daughter in a way that would never vanish.
“But I want you to know--”
She might die in a few weeks. She did not wish to leave any lingering regrets. This was why she needed to say it.
“I have never hated you.”
She needed to make her understand it.
“You were not unwanted.”
She wished to engrave those words in her heart,
“You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You are my pride.”
Raising her heart, she looked at her daughter through the blur created by the tears that were falling from her eyes,
“I love you with all my heart. Please...I beg you...Never doubt that.”
(AN: I personally think that the love of a mother is the greatest thing in this world. Of course, there are mothers who do not love their children. But for the vast majority who do, they would sacrifice everything for them. I tried to show that through the last chapter with Blaze and in this chap with Lilith. The relationship between Lilith and Lilin was a little inspired by the relationship between Arima and his mother. She was a very bad mother, a very horrible mother, but no one can deny that she never did it for selfish reasons. If you did not watch/read Your lie in April, then do it now. Trust me you won’t regret or you might regret and curse me for recommending such an anime when you watch the last episode. XD.)