C480 Spider-Man (Patreon)
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Not a single person in the room had expected what came next. As Kang and Janet continued their tense exchange, Peter, seemingly unfazed by the high-stakes conversation, decided it was time to address the elephant in the room, the bathroom. He really wasn’t kidding, he had to pee.
Seeing as no one was pointing him in the right direction, Peter shook his head in annoyance and snapped his fingers, conjuring a urinal right in the center of the room. It materialized with a metallic shimmer, contrasting starkly with the advanced technology that surrounded it.
A collective gasp swept through the room as Peter nonchalantly approached the urinal, his mask still firmly in place. He glanced around, noting the shocked and bewildered expressions on the faces of those present. "What? A guy's gotta go when a guy's gotta go," he quipped, unzipping his suit and relieving himself.
The act left the room in a state of bizarre silence as everyone watched in utter disbelief. Once done, Peter flushed the urinal with a simple snap of his fingers, and just as abruptly as it had appeared, the urinal vanished into thin air.
Not missing a beat, Peter conjured a sink next to the spot where the urinal had been. He began washing his gloved hands, the water flowing from the faucet in a precise stream. His movements were efficient, portraying the confidence of someone who had done this countless times before.
While he was washing his hands, Peter turned his attention to Kang. "So, big guy," he began, his voice muffled by his mask, "are you the bad guy here?"
Kang, who had been momentarily taken aback by Peter's unusual behavior, tilted his head in curiosity. "From a certain perspective, everyone is a bad guy," he replied, a faint smile playing on his lips. "But to ourselves, we're the heroes, aren’t we?"
Janet, who had been simmering with anger, couldn't hold back any longer. She interjected, her voice dripping with contempt, "Don't listen to a word he says. He's a manipulative psychopathic monster who has and will slaughter trillions of people. Not to mention the way he's been ruling this little empire of his, ruthlessly slaughtering anyone who even thinks about disagreeing with him, let alone their families."
Kang rolled his eyes at Janet's outburst. "Some things never change, Janet," he remarked with a sigh. "You always did have a knack for dramatics."
Peter, having finished washing his hands, vanished the sink just as effortlessly as the urinal. He turned to Kang with a casual demeanor. "So, you are the bad guy," Peter concluded, his tone nonchalant. "That's good."
Kang raised a perplexed eyebrow. "Good? How is that good?"
Peter nodded, a hint of mischief in his eyes. "Yeah, because your tech is pretty advanced. I could make good use of it."
Tony Stark couldn't help but nod in agreement, his genius mind already racing at the possibilities. He wanted to study the technology surrounding them, and he knew his friend Peter would be more than willing to share.
Kang scoffed at their comments. "Are all heroes thieves in your universe?"
Peter shrugged, seemingly uncaring. "It isn't theft, it's confiscation. Bad guys use their toys to commit crimes or hurt others, so they lose ownership. It's like when you play a game. Is it wrong to loot the fallen enemies? Especially the criminal ones? Not really."
Kang, still trying to comprehend the situation, pressed further. "So, in your point of view, am I truly a bad guy?"
Peter nodded again, his mask concealing his expression. "Yep, probably."
Kang couldn’t help but laugh. "You know, my counterparts across the multiverse would laugh if they heard you say that..."
“How so?” Peter asked as he conjured a chair to sit in and a bucket of popcorn to munch on. He could tell when a villainous monologue was coming.
Kang began to explain. "Out of all the Kangs across the multiverse, I was once the most peaceful. I didn't hurt anyone, steal anything, or commit a single crime. I don’t know if I was some anomaly, but I cared, unlike my counterparts."
He continued, his voice tinged with a hint of sadness. "But one day, while traveling the timelines in pursuit of research, I decided to see the end of it all. What happens when every reality comes to an end? When each multiverse dies and reality itself vanishes. What I found shocked me. My alters from across the multiverse somehow managed to kill reality itself. Nothing was left, and it was all their fault."
Janet tried to speak again, hoping to remind everyone that Kang was a monster, but Kang snapped his fingers, rendering her unable to utter a word. Frustration and panic welled up in her as she struggled against Kang's hold.
Hope, Scott, and Hank, witnessing Janet's struggle, also attempted to speak out, but Kang's powers silenced them as well, leaving only Peter seemingly unaffected.
Peter, still enjoying his popcorn, nodded in apparent understanding. "Go on."
Kang continued. “Upon realizing the chaos caused by well… myself, I came to a decision. A decision that would change the multiverse forever. I created the Council of Kangs, a governing body for my many selves across the multiverse. A government for the Kangs, by the Kangs, to keep us all in check."
Kang seemed to smile slightly, remembering his past exploits. “Of course, it wasn’t easy. I faced so many challenges, especially in recruiting Kangs from across the multiverse. But after a while, I delegated that task to subordinate Kangs, who carried out the recruitment for me.”
"Sounds like a noble endeavor," Peter commented with a smirk. "So, what went wrong?"
Kang paused for a moment, his gaze shifting to Peter. "The more chaotic Kangs, the ones I was trying to stop, decided that there were too many laws, too many regulations. And they certainly didn't agree with any punishments. So, they rebelled, recruited like-minded individuals, and started a war that raged over a vast portion of the multiverse, killing trillions and trillions of people."
Janet, Hope, Genie, Tony, and Hank watched in silence, their frustration evident in their expressions. Well, Genie could break free at anytime, but Peter said that he couldn’t use his Djinn powers.
Kang resumed his narrative, his tone weary. "I might not have started the war, but I certainly played a significant part in the deaths of many innocents. As I said before you arrived, I didn't care then, and I don't care now. War is hell, and a war across the multiverse is a far worse hell than any of you could ever imagine."
Kang's narrative was momentarily interrupted by Peter, who slurped a cut of ice filled Coke through a straw. Kang shot him an annoyed glance, prompting Peter to stop and offer a sheepish grin. "Sorry, please continue."
Kang carried on. “Despite the chaos, we had made great strides in winning the war. But then something unexpected occurred. The Kangs I trusted most, my advisors and fellow high-level council members, betrayed me. They destroyed every universe I ruled over, killed my people, my wives, my children, my family, and finally, they stabbed me in the back and banished me here, to the Quantum Realm.”
Kang's voice took on a somber tone as he turned to Janet, his expression distant. "And when I grew to trust someone again, she betrayed me as well.”
Janet could feel the betrayal in his voice, and she knew that he was talking about her. But sadly, for him, she wasn’t that easily swayed. She may feel a bit bad, but at the end of the day, Kang is a ruthless killer who just couldn’t be trusted. She’s seen it.
Peter couldn’t help but nod his head, an impressed look hidden under his mask. “Wives, huh? You lucky b*stard. You know, my girlfriend would probably cut my family jewels off if I did anything like that.”
“Yes, well there are perks to traveling the multiverse. It’s impossible for your wives to ever meet or even know of one another.” Kang explains, a sly smirk on his face. ”Though I have had a few mishaps over the years, but a simple mind wipe can clear up just about anything.”
Peter nods as he vanished his snack and stood up, stretching his body for the fight to come. “I feel like my girlfriend would still find out. I think it’s the spider senses, you know? Anyway, should we get this show on the road?”
“You still want to fight?” Kang asked, hoping he could’ve won Peter over with his tragic backstory.
Peter shrugged. “You aren’t the only villain with a sad backstory and a heroic goal. Although I do sympathize with your situation and certainly see the threat of your alters, I can’t just let you go.”
Kang sighed in exasperation. He was hoping to avoid a fight with someone of Peter’s capabilities, but that didn’t seem to be possible. “You do know that if you kill me, nothing can stop the other Kang’s from coming and destroying your universe. I’m the one who’s trying to save you all…”
Peter finished his stretches. “Yeah, I get it, but I’d rather just handle them myself. After all, you can’t really be trusted. I mean, you admitted to killing trillions of innocents, so what’s to stop you from killing our universe? Especially if it would complete your revenge against the council?”
“Yeah, you’re probably right… so be it…” Kang, his emotions a swirling maelstrom, suddenly lashed out with a blue laser beam that erupted from his suit's fist. The deadly energy surged toward Peter, who watched the approaching danger with an almost casual curiosity.
Gasps of horror and disbelief filled the room as the laser inched closer and closer to Peter. It seemed inevitable that the blast would make contact, until, at the last possible moment, Peter's gloved hand shot out to intercept it.
He caught the deadly laser between his fingers, his expression hidden behind the mask, but his posture oozed confidence. With steady determination, he held the energy beam up for everyone to see, the blue light casting eerie shadows across his suit.
"I would've slapped it away," Peter quipped, his tone dripping with nonchalance, "but I wouldn't want to damage any of this cool tech."
Kang, momentarily taken aback by Peter's unexpected prowess, watched in astonishment as Peter calmly held the lethal energy at bay. The others in the room shared equally shocked expressions, torn between awe and disbelief.
With a smirk, Peter taunted Kang, "Catch." With a flick of his wrist, he released the laser, sending it hurtling back toward Kang. But the powerful conqueror wasn't about to be caught off guard again. In a flash, Kang disappeared, teleporting a few feet away to safety.
As Kang materialized with a triumphant grin, he was ready to gloat, convinced that Peter wouldn't be able to best him. However, his confidence was short-lived as he suddenly sensed something amiss. Over his shoulder, Kang heard Peter's voice call out, "Yo."
Before Kang could react, a powerful fist connected with the side of his head, sending him hurtling across the room. His body tumbled through the air, crashing into a window with a resounding thud. Glass shattered and rained down as Kang's form fell out of the building, dazed and disoriented.
A/N: 1900 words :)