C119 Spider-Man (Patreon)

The bright mid-afternoon sun shone through the windows of a small living room. The whole place was trashed with pizza boxes, beer bottles, and shot glasses. Even some questionable stains could be spotted all across the carpet as well.

Two men could be seen sleeping huddled together on the same couch, which also happened to have a few stains on them as well.

Beer stains to be exact.

If someone were to take a picture and post this image online, the world would wonder why Iron Man was sleeping in the arms of a muscle-bound blonde man.

*camera flash*

That was about to become a reality, as a blue and red spider-themed man took the perfect photo.

“I’m posting this on Instagram.” Peter mutters as he instantly posts it without an ounce of shame.

“It’s what they deserve.” A voice called out from the kitchen.

Turning, Peter could see Jane Foster standing there in her pajamas with a cup of coffee in hand.

Last night, after drinking themselves stupid and getting into a bar fight, Thor ended up dragging them to meet his current love interest, Jane Foster.

And boy was she surprised when the crazy yet handsome man she met and hit with her car showed up unannounced in the middle of the night, and to make matters even more shocking, he brought Spider-Man and Tony Stark along as well.

Jane wanted nothing more than to kick them out and go to bed, but how could she possibly turn two living superheroes away?

So, Thor and Tony brought their two-man party to Jane's living room, while Peter and Jane supervised and tried their best to keep them under control.

It didn’t take Jane long to get used to Peter and Tony’s presence, as she was too busy keeping her living room intact to worry about anything else.

“Ugh... My head...” Tony muttered in pain as the light from the window hit his eyes, waking him from his drunken slumber.

As soon as Tony noticed the big strong manly arms wrapped around him, he freaked and rolled off the couch.

*bang*

“Ow, f*ck!” Tony yelled as his body and face smacked into the floor.

“Morning sunshine!” Peter says in a loud and excited fashion.

“Uhh, please... for the love of god stop talking.” Tony says as he holds his aching head.

“Quiet...” Thor begins to stir awake from all the commotion. “Are all of you humans this loud in the morning?”

Although Thor would usually be able to wake up on the day after a drunken bender without much consequence, the god-like king of Asgard was currently powerless, so he felt everything that Tony was feeling at this very moment.

‘How do these mortals deal with this? My mouth is completely dry and my head is killing me...’ Thor thought and instantly reprimanded himself for using the ‘M’ word.

“Good morning, your royal highness!” Jane says loud enough to make Thor flinch.

She just had to get her revenge for everything that happened last night.

“Lady Jane?” Thor asks in realization as he turns to see her standing in the kitchen. “What are you doing here?”

“This is my place.” She replies and takes a sip of her coffee. “Well, It’s a rental. I’m only staying here for research purposes.”

“Right...” Thor mutters as he turns to see Tony stand up from the floor. “How did we get here?”

“You're asking the wrong guy. I was just as drunk as you last night.” Tony says as he walks over to the windows and starts closing the blinds one by one. “Ahh, that’s better.”

“You wanted us to meet who you called the fair maiden Lady Jane Foster, so here we are. You guys drank, ordered pizza, and did your very best to trash the place.” Peter says Tony paced into the kitchen and started drinking water directly from the sink's tap.

“... I’ll pay for the damages...” Tony says as he stops drinking for only a moment before going right back at it again.

“Yeah, you will.” Jane nods matter-of-factly. “I also charge a steep babysitting fee.”

Tony doesn’t even stop drinking as he gives her a thumbs up, not caring about how much he had to pay.

“You have a child?!” Thor was instantly alarmed, not understanding the joke.

“No, she means you and Tony.” Peter says as Thor calms down.

*knock knock*

“Jane! Are you ready? We need to get going if we want to make our flight!” A man's voice calls out from the front door.

“Flight?” Thor questioned as Jane opens the front door, and in walked her research partner Professor Erik Selvig and assistant Darcey Lewis.

Selvig is an older man with grey hair, while Darcey is a dark-haired woman that seemed to be a few years younger than Jane.

“What the hell happened here?” Darcey asked as she saw the wrecked living room with Thor still on the couch. “Thor?”

“Hello...” Thor said as they entered the room.

“What are you...” Darcey begins to ask but stops in her tracks as she turns to see Spider-Man and Tony Stark standing in the kitchen. “What are the Avengers doing here? Did you commit a crime?!”

“Of course not! They’re friends with Thor.” Jane denies the accusation immediately as she points at Thor.

“What? The crazy guy that you hit with your car is friends with Spider-Man?” Darcey says in absolute disbelief.

“I’m not a crazy man...” Thor refutes as he stands up and walks to the kitchen, taking Tony’s place at the sink as he downs as much water as possible.

While everyone was settling in and Darcey got her autographs, Selvig spoke up.

“Jane, unless you want to stay in New Mexico, we have a flight to catch.” He says as he motions toward his watch.

“You’re leaving?” Thor asks after Tony explained what a flight was.

“Yeah, those men in black, whatever they are. They took all of my research and even if I stay to try and build it all back up from scratch, they’ll just come and take it all away again...” Jane says sadly as she stares down at her coffee mug.

“You mean Shield?” Peter asks.

“I think that’s what they called themselves.” Selvig says with a nod.

“I can get your research back for you, but you’ll have to miss your flight.” Peter says, getting a happy smile from Thor, who didn’t want Jane to leave.

“You can really do that?” Jane asks in hope.

“Sure, I know the big boss of Shield, so I can just call and ask. He shouldn’t have a problem with you getting your stuff back.” Peter says as he takes out his phone and sends Fury a text and received a reply only seconds later. “There, he said he’ll have some men bring your stuff back to your workplace later today.”

“That was easy...” Darcey mutters.

“He’s Spider-Man,” Tony says as he opens the fridge and starts looking for some food but found nothing appetizing. “He could call up anyone and ask for a favor and they’d most likely say yes without thinking, but enough of that. I need food.”

“Yes! I could go for a feast as well, my friend.” Thor agreed as he was in the same position as Tony.

————————————————

After deciding to stay and cancel their flight plans, Everyone decided to go out and get some food, as both Thor and Tony were hungover and starving.

As they were eating at the same diner once again, some oddly dressed characters made their way down the street.

Four towering warriors in intricate Asgardian armor walked down the center of the road, obstructing traffic along the way. Though they didn’t seem to understand that they were doing so.

These warriors are the warriors three, Hogun, Fandral, and Volstagg, alongside the beautiful and deadly Lady Sif.

Townsfolk stared in wonder at the four warriors, as they stroll down the street in all their Asgardian splendor.

A group of children in a nearby park hit a baseball, which happens to roll under a parked car. One kid runs to retrieve it, but couldn’t reach it no matter how hard he tried.

Suddenly, the side of the car rises into the air. The boy looks over with his mouth dropping open at what he sees. Volstagg easily holds the car up with one hand.

Volstagg picks up the boy's ball and drops the car back down, handing the ball back to the boy and pats his head.

“There you go, lad!” He says as he walks off with the other Asgardians, leaving a shocked child behind.

“Is it just me, or does Earth look a little different to you?” Volstagg asks as he takes in the surroundings.

“It has been a thousand years...” Sif replies as they keep walking.

“Things change so fast here. You leave for a millennium, and it's like the whole neighborhood's gone.” Volstagg remarks.

“Maybe we should split...” Sif says but stops as she sees a familiar mane of golden locks through a nearby window.

Inside the diner, Thor was eating and talking animatedly with Jane, doing his best to woo her when suddenly there was a knock on the window to his left.

Turning their heads, the group saw what appeared to be some sort of cosplayers outside waving at Thor with smiles on their faces.

“My friends!”

A/N: 1581 words :)