Ersatz (Part 6) (Patreon)

Tyler

This was wrong. This was so wrong. Tyler sat on the floor with his legs splayed open. On the floor beside him was a paper plate containing cut up hot dogs and blobs of ketchup and mustard to dip them in.  The slices were big and thick enough that they were practically sausage patties.  Tyler picked one up, dunked it in ketchup and shoved the whole thing in his mouth and chewed.

For beverages, they were given baby bottles filled with water with the lids removed. They were the only containers small enough for any of them to hold, or so Gloria informed them. Given the scale of everything else, that was probably true.

They ate on the floor because there was no place to sit that would accommodate them, save the highchairs. Their giantess host had the good graces not to suggest they sit in them.  She also had the good graces to join them on the floor and eat with them.

“Sorry,” she said. “It’s the best bite size meal I can whip up on short notice.” She popped a bit of meat in her mouth, chewed, and swallowed. “I didn’t think you’d want me spoon feeding you anything.”

Thank yous were mumbled, and everyone went to nibbling quietly, each stuck in their own head. Drew ate his meal standing up, balancing the paper plate on his forearm. The girls ate together, their backs against the couch. The initial shock of being topless around one another was nothing compared to the shock of waking up in a used diaper and then getting said diaper changed in front of everyone.  Gloria laid on her side, practically lounging, but her eyes darted around from person to person, awkwardly waiting for someone to engage with her.

A most somber meal considering what little they were dressed in and how little they were dressed. Tyler smirked. That was a clever turn of phrase.  He lifted his head and looked at his companions. His mouth opened to speak, but quickly shut itself.

The joke would have taken too much explanation for it to be funny to anyone but Tyler. As usual, his mind was moving so fast to the point that his mouth became useless. He doubted even Christy could have translated for him.  That and this was sadly not the time for jokes.

As he ate, Tyler’s mind replayed the events in his head again and again, and he was left with only questions.  Why had the playpen been set up? It hadn’t been out before but was just in time to confine them while they all justifiably freaked out over shitting themselves.

Same for that baby gate that had kept them penned inside the guest room while giant had plucked them up one at a time and humiliated them. It hadn’t been there before they’d passed out from exhaustion, but was there just in time to keep them trapped until she was ready for them. That seemed…odd to put it mildly.

Tyler didn’t ask ‘why’ because he already knew why. Or to be more precise, he knew what Gloria would probably say.  She’d cite that the real children of this planet were coming tomorrow and thus she wanted to have the playpen ready for them. The playpen was to keep the actual children contained or to provide sanctuary for the group from them.  Same likely for the guest room.

There were other purposes, but assuming Gloria was acting in good faith, that was the answer she’d give.

Faith…spoken or unspoken, that was a poor choice of words. Guiltily, Tyler gazed back down at his plate and dipped another chunk of meat into a blob of mustard.

“Hey, Gloria,” Brittney broke the silence. “I was thinking. Why was that playpen set up?”

“What do you mean, dear?” the giantess asked.

“It wasn’t there before we went to sleep,” Britney said. “Why was it out now?”

“Yeah,” Christy added. “That baby gate wasn’t there either.”

“Oh, that.” Gloria sat up and shrugged. “I was making preparations for tomorrow. After you four went down for naps, I started getting things ready for tomorrow.  I thought a playpen could be a good safe spot if the babies were bothering you.”

“Yeah but you kind of trapped us in the guest room,” Drew said. “That wasn’t cool.”

Tyler watched the old woman’s jaw work around in place.  “No offense, Drew, but I don’t see your point. The door was already closed and I don’t think you could have reached the doorknob.”

“The gate behind it didn’t make it any easier,” Drew countered.

The granny sighed. “I was keeping an ear open, sweetie. If any of you had woken up clean, you could have called for me and I would have taken you to the bathroom, as agreed. You didn’t though…”

She let the sentence go unfinished, but the embarrassed glances downward from all let her know that the remainder had been heard.

BOOM! Tyler allowed himself a faint smile. Called it!  It was like he was psychic, sometimes. “What about the music?” The question came out so fast and unexpectedly that Tyler wasn’t sure if he’d said it out loud or just thought it.

Gloria jumped a bit, as if surprised by Tyler’s voice. “I didn’t want to wake you,” she said, quickly recovering. “I was bumping around the house, moving things back around.”  She gestured to the wall where the highchairs used to be-another recent terrain change-as proof. “So I put on some background noise so that you weren’t disturbed by every little scrap and bump.”

Tyler opened his mouth to question why it had to be baby music. Didn’t she at least have a radio or something? His brain outpaced his mouth, however, and he realized that she’d been singing some dumb baby song about diaper changes before she was so much as aware of their presence.  Chances are nursery songs and such were the easiest thing she had access to on short notice.  “Fair enough…”

The giantess kept her seated position and sat cross legged on the floor. “I think it’s time to discuss what’s going to happen tomorrow.” She slid her now empty plate away from and rested her hands on her knees

“Okay,” Brittney said, doing the same.  Sort of.  She pushed her paper plate off to the side, but was unable to tuck her legs in.  Her bulky diaper gave just enough resistance  to the act so that it was difficult (to say the least) to get her legs at the appropriate angle.  Tyler squeezed his legs together and found the same.

Gloria nibbled on the corner of her lip. “I think that when you’re not actively using the bathroom, you should be wearing diapers, just in case.  Just until we figure out whether or not it was a fluke.”

The quartet looked at one another, silently conferring.  “That’s fair,” Christy said. The others agreed.  Tyler didn’t quite agree, but there was no point in discussing it openly.

“I’ll give you some spare baby clothes to wear when the babies and their parents come in to act as a disguise.”

“Can we get in our real clothes after the parents leave?”  Brittney asked.  It wasn’t the first time that question had been asked, but Tyler waited to see if the answer would remain the same.  This wasn’t necessarily a friendly negotiation.  Good to push up against restrictions and see where the line really was.

“That’s inadvisable,” Gloria said plainly. “My charges and their parents come in and out throughout the day sometimes.  It doesn’t make sense to have you in your real clothes and risk them coming in and seeing you dressed differently. I don’t want to have to constantly be looking out windows or rushing to get you back into costume, either.”

“Then you’re not going to let us use the toilet, either, I’m assuming,” Tyler said.  “Or you’re going to have a child’s potty out here and force us to piss and shit in it all day long.”

Gloria looked genuinely perturbed at the remark. Maybe it was the cursing.  “On the off chance that they knock on the door at the worst possible time, I think I can talk around them enough to say that I was taking you to the potty.”

Drew’s ears started to wiggle. “So we look potty training age to you?” he asked.  Tyler immediately started imagining himself in pull-ups.  Not ideal, but an upgrade for sure.

“Well…no…” the giantess admitted. “But elimination communication is a thing.”

Tyler’s mind skipped three steps ahead.  “Are your doors unlocked?”

“Hm?” Gloria’s lip pouted out.  “No. Why?”

“Then why would you need to tell them anything that lined up with what was really going on?” He looked to his companions and saw the look on their faces.  He groaned inwardly.  Again, his mind had gone too fast and run several permutations.  

“I’m not following, dear.”  None of them were.

It’s not that he felt he was particularly smarter than his wife and friends, it’s just that his brain was constantly running through various scenarios and what-ifs. A benefit of growing up an only child and being easily distracted.  “Why not just tell them you were changing our diapers?” Tyler clarified.  “Parents can show up anytime, but it’s not like they’re going to burst in on you.  Why over complicate things with lies about elimination communication or whatever?”  It was common sense really.  He could see the suspicion start to grow on everyone else’s faces.

“I can see us having to be in baby clothes first thing in the morning,” he allowed. “But why not let us get back into our civvies after the main rush?” His brain kept sparking, with new ideas flowing out as soon as they were fully formed. “Shit. We’re wearing diapers to bed, sure. But why do we gotta wear them when we’re awake? There’s no data to say that we’re having accidents during the day.”  He paused just long enough to take a breath.  “Let us be ourselves. Then if someone comes a knocking, we put the disguises back on. They leave. We take them off. Easy peasy.”

The look of frustration and worry on the old giantess’s face lasted only so long as Tyler kept yapping.  “No offense,” she said, “but you don’t have much experience with kids, do you, hon?”

Tyler cocked an eyebrow. “Not really, no.”

“Do you know how long it takes to get four kids properly dressed?” Brittney was about to repeat the same tiresome refrain of how the four of them weren’t actually children, but Gloria talked right over her. “Imagine you’re a parent and every time you come to the door it takes five to ten minutes until the babysitter opens the door.  And every time they ask, I tell them I was busy changing the kids?”

“What’s your point?” Drew asked. “It happens.”

“Every time?” Gloria retorted. “I’d be in the middle of changing four diapers every time a parent rings the doorbell? Really?  I don’t know if you know this, but a key feature of diapers is that you don’t have to change them right away every time. What would be so urgent that I had to drop everything to change multiple children and couldn’t even open the door?”

“Leaks happen,” Christy offered. “Blowouts too.”

“But every time?” Gloria repeated. “I don’t know how quickly you folks plan on going home, but I don’t think it’s going to be tomorrow.  We’ll start brainstorming and researching, yes, but it’s going to be at least the end of the week before we have enough time to do major deep dives. A blowout every time?”  Admittedly, Tyler hadn’t thought of that. “What if I tell them that, and then their child is wet or messy?”

“You…change…them?” Brittney said, confused.

Gloria sat up a little straighter on the floor and took on a near cartoonish demeanor. “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I took a solid five minutes to answer the door because I was changing a bunch of babies at once and it couldn’t pause to open the door. What? You didn’t hear any screaming or crying indicating the babies were panicking? And your daughter is still messy? I don’t know why I didn’t change her.”  She slumped forward. “I wanna help you, but I still gotta work, guys.”

Tyler’s own brain got the better of him. “We’d need extra baby clothes, too.” Tyler mused. “If they see us in one outfit in the morning, and are told the delay was due to an emergency change like a blowout, that afternoon, they might notice that the outfits haven’t changed.”

“Thank you,” Gloria said. “Now you’re being reasonable, Tyler.”

Tyler wasn’t done. “But you’re operating under the assumption that you’d have to dress us one at a time.  “We could dress ourselves.”

The giantess didn’t answer at first. She just rolled over and crawled over to the changing table she kept in the living room.  From the top shelf she grabbed a diaper and from the bottom one she grabbed a white T-shirt.  She balled up the shirt and lobbed it into Tyler’s lap.  “Put that on for me.”

Tyler flapped out the shirt only to realize it wasn’t really a shirt. It was a onesie, a t-shirt that connected at the bottom.  Tyler turned it upside down and started to pull at the buttons connecting the front and back.  If the tapes on his diaper (his diaper…yikes) were titanium, then the snaps on the onesie were adamantium.

“Thought so,” Gloria said. “You’re not strong enough to remove the tapes. You’re not strong enough to pop or unpop the poppers.  I would have to dress you all.’

Next she lobbed the diaper at Brittney.  “Brittney, would you be a dear and put that on?”

Brittney unfolded the monstrous thing and frowned. These things were unwieldy in their hands, and meant to be put on with aid. They really would need help getting dressed.

“Then there’s the matter of where do we put your adult clothes when you’re not wearing them? Where do we keep the disguises? How fast can you get to them? How do we keep the kids away from them but still keep them accessible to you? What do I do with the diapers when you’re not wearing them for hours on end?  Those things aren’t cheap, you know, and they don’t fold back very neatly. The tapes lose their stickiness real quick if you’re not careful, too.”

She was right. It would be difficult and completely impractical to switch the ruse back and forth multiple times a day for at least a week, probably longer. Was it worth all that just for their ego? His friends who had been right there with him a moment ago, now all exchanged reluctant looks.  Giant lady was right.  “Point taken,” Tyler grumbled. “Sorry.”  Common sense was never Tyler’s strong suit.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Tyler,” Gloria said. “I’m a granny and a nanny. The logistics of keeping kids in clean clothes is literally part of my job.”  That didn’t make Tyler feel any better.  “You’re right, though. On the off chance someone comes to the door while I’m helping one of you with bathroom stuff, I can just say I was in the middle of changing you.  I was overcomplicating it.”

“Thanks…” Tyler sulked.

Christy came over to him and sat down. She threw her arm over his shoulder and gave her husband a side hug.  Tyler’s skin broke out in a blush. The bad kind. “Good effort,” she whispered.

“I think the best plan for tomorrow is to get to bed early so you’re awake and dressed tomorrow morning,” Gloria proposed. “I’ll pick out things that won’t embarrass you but help you blend in. I’ll spend most of the day taking care of the babies like I usually do, and check up on you as much as I can.  If you need anything, food, drink, bathroom, just holler and I’ll come help.” She looked at them one at a time. “Does that seem reasonable?”

Damn it, it did.

“Yes,” Brittney said. “I think so.”  No one had any argument to the contrary.

“Good,” Gloria clapped her hands together. “Then the only thing I think is left to discuss is who gets first shower?”

First shower?  Tyler was confused. So too, were the others.

“You’re letting us take a shower?” Christy asked.  

“Yeah,” Gloria said. “Of course.” Almost comically she asked, “You do have showers where you come from, right?”

“Yeah,” Drew said. “Just not what we expected.”

Brittney got her wits about her and went full lawyer. “We’re allowed to shower?”

“I don’t see why not.” Gloria replied.

“By ourselves?”

“Of course.”

“Without you? Soap, shampoo, water, washcloth, towel?”

“I’ll need to help you get your diapers off and on,” Gloria said. “You’ll probably want my help getting in and out of the tub, but other than that, I don’t see why you’d need me there.”

“What about the bed?  Can we sleep with the door open? No baby gate?”

Tyler saw the opening and threw in, “It’ll be easier to wake you up to take us to the bathroom if we can move around freely.”

Tyler noticed a microsecond of hesitation.  “I suppose that’s true.” Then she offered, “I’ve got a baby monitor if that’d be easier.”

“We’d prefer not,” Brittney said.

“Fair enough.  Let’s get showered.”

And so it was. As a group they were given big fluffy bath towels to drape over their shoulders.  They were so big comparatively that they could have been bathrobes had they the sleeves.  Then Gloria retreated to the bathroom and came back with washcloths that were comparative hand towels, and bright white bars of soap.

“Why are they uh…us sized?” Christy asked.

“Vacation?” Tyler wondered. He rattled his brain a second. “I mean, travel size?”

“Right you are,” Gloria nodded. “Good guess.  I’ve got a whole box of these for when I travel.”

Tyler read the letter etched into the bar. “Is that why the brand is ‘Little’?” he asked. “They only make tiny travel soaps?”

“Two for two,” Gloria winked at him.  

“Do you have any shampoo?” Brittney inquired.

“Sorry, no.” Gloria said. “But I put a bottle with a pump right on the edge.  Should be easy to squirt in your hand and go from there.”

“Or we could just use the soap,” Tyler guessed.  

Something akin to fear flashed across the woman’s face.. “I wouldn’t recommend it,” she warned. “This stuff gets the job done, but it’s rough on the scalp. Dries out your hair something fierce.”

Drew looked at Tyler with strange, judgmental curiosity. “Dude. Do you use regular soap in your hair?”

“No!” Tyler blushed.  It was true, he’d never thought to use soap in that way until that moment.. That wasn’t why he was blushing, however. It was his best bud’s scrutinizing glare that gave him the willies.

Finally, Gloria went down the line, counted to three, and ripped the tapes on the diapers open and let the plastic backed panties waft to the floor.  “All clean, and all dry. Good job!”

Brittney reached out to both Tyler and Drew and grabbed each by the wrist, squeezing them tightly and digging her nails into their flesh.  All of these condescending microaggressions were taking their toll.  Tyler reached to his left and grabbed his wife’s hand. He squeezed. She squeezed back.  That didn’t make him feel much better.

“Okay,” Gloria said. “Who’s going in first?”

Drew raised his hand. “I’ll go,” he said.  And so it was.

“Hey Brit,” Christy said, grinning.  “Toldja it was gonna happen.”

Brittney twitched. “Not the time, Christy. Not the time.” The reply wasn’t snippy but there was genuine annoyance, like a big sister chastising her little sibling. The stress was getting to everyone.  Things were going to look tense.

Christy looked disproportionately hurt.  “Sorry…”  She looked away, her face flushing.

“I’m gonna go tidy up,” Gloria said, coming out of the bathroom. “Still need to prep for tomorrow.”

Amongst the three remaining, no one said anything.  Tyler did his best not to think.

A few minutes later, Drew called out a mighty.  “OKAY! DONE!”  The bathroom amplified his voice like a megaphone.  

True to her word, Gloria came at a brisk face and boosted him out.  “Next?”

Britney went next.

Then Christy.

Gloria used the intervening time to remove the baby gate and go back and forth with a few other items.  “Diapers and powder for bed,” she explained. Then “Some milk to help you sleep.”  

Tyler chose to go last.  He needed as little hot water as possible.  He walked into the bathroom, dropped his towel and closed his eyes for the lift up and over into the tub.  

“Got your soap?” Gloria asked.

“Yup.”

“Got your washcloth?”

“Mhm.”

“Okay, make sure to scrub real good.” The older woman prompted. “Face. Neck. Pits. Everything. Especially the diaper area. You’re so hairy, who knows what my wipes didn’t pick up.”

Tyler looked down at his chest. Puberty had been generous to him in that regard. He wasn’t wooly, but back home it’d be hard to mistake him as anything but a grown ass man.  It was strange that the giants thought he looked like a baby, considering.  “Sure sure.”

“Okay, good,” Gloria said.. Don’t want you getting sick in case there’s viruses or bacteria that your body isn’t used to.

“I thought you were just a babysitter,” Tyler said. “Not a doctor.”

As always, Gloria had an explanation. “Grannies and nannies are practically nurses. Kids get sick all the time. You’ve got about as much exposure as a newborn.’

“Makes sense,” Tyler sighed.  

He set to work in the now tepid water, lathering up everything from head to toe, feeling a minor bout of hypochondria.  War of the worlds ended with the aliens dying due to a simple cold virus.  That would be a truly dumb way to die.  “World’s worst martian.”To himself, he whispered to himself. Then he whispered something altogether different, connected with an altogether different, guilty conscience.  “Thought crime…no thought crime…just thoughts…no crime.”

“Sorry I didn’t leave much hot water,” Christy said when he was out.

“It’s cool, babe,” he said. He leaned over and gave her a kiss.

“Okay folks,” Gloria said, hunched over and shooing them.  “Let’s suit up for the night. You’re still exhausted.

Damn but she was right!

They were herded back into the guest room, as a group this time. No one complained. They’d all seen each other get their butts wiped. Modesty was all but out the window. Their towels were taken and laid on the foot of the bed. Each naked body was picked up and laid down.  They all laid with their hands behind their heads, as if tanning at a nude beach.

One by one, Granny Gloria crossed their ankles, lifted their legs, powdered their bottoms and diapered them.  Tyler in particular, did his best to stare up at the ceiling during all of this.  “There we go,” she proclaimed. “Okay. Go on. Crawl into bed.”

As a group they rolled over and crinkled from one end of the giant’s guest bed to the other. “These feel…bigger.”  She wiggled her bottom and Tyler turned deathly white.

“Night time diapers,” Gloria explained. “They’re more absorbent. Can go longer without a change so babies can sleep through the night without leaking.” A beat. “Just in case.”

“Just in case…” Brittney echoed, suspiciously.

Right before she turned out the light, Gloria handed out more baby bottles full of milk.  “Here you are,” she half-sang. “Something to help you sleep.”

They all took their bottles with gusto. Tyler took it and started to practically inhale the stuff.  

Wait…

Something wasn’t right about that. Something felt wrong. He liked milk as much as the next guy, but not this much.

He used his tongue to stop up the hole, and waited until the lights were off and they were alone. “Hey guys?” He whispered.  

“What?” Brittney asked.

If it had been anybody else, things might have turned out differently.  “Nothing. Nevermind.” Tyler set the bottle down beside him and let it roll all the way down to his feet. “Goodnight.”

He got the muted sounds of suckling in reply.  Then snoring.

Tyler didn’t sleep.  Not at first.  As usual, his mind couldn’t turn off. It never could. This particular time, he couldn’t get the weird dream he’d had out of his head.  Ever since he woke up, his brain was guiltily fixated on that dream.

He’d been dreaming of being a baby, crawling around and babbling on the floor with Drew, Christy and Brittney. All of them wearing baby clothes, the kind that couldn’t be mistaken for anything else.  Then his dream had focused on him crawling up behind Brittney, her butt wiggling and padded.  She’d stopped, her diaper had ballooned out behind her, and then she’d turned around and given Tyler a big wet sloppy kiss right on the lips.

The dream went further than that, but not much further.  He’d woken up to Drew freaking out and Tyler realizing how not only had he filled his pants in his sleep, but he was rock hard inside of his soaked and messy diaper.  The coldness of the baby wipes and Granny’s fawning over him like he were an embarrassed toddler helped the erection; just not the guilt.

Why had that turned him on? More importantly, why wasn’t it Christy? Why Brittney?  Why not his own wife?  He’d had the tiniest crush on her back when they were high school kids, but he’d long gotten over that, or so he thought.  

For the first time that he could really remember, Tyler was afraid of his own thoughts.  It would crush Christy if she knew.  And he hadn’t even done anything! Wasn’t going to do anything!  But the idea would hurt her all the same.

Thought crime.

Tyler kept the cycle up for an indeterminate amount of time. His eyelids closed, and his breathing slowed, but sleep would not claim him.  Obsessed, he kept running himself through the dream, scolding and assuring himself it was just a fantasy and it wasn’t harming anyone. That he still loved his wife and would never purposefully hurt her; yet he was terrified lest she find out.

After the hundredth or so attempt to roll over and go to sleep, something else caught Tyler’s attention.  He had to pee.  The water he’d glugged down with the hotdogs had finally gone through him.  He scolded himself and sat up. Should have taken the opportunity to pee in the shower or something.  

Oh well. Nothing to it but do it.

He got up and crawled all the way to the foot of the bed. It was oddly embarrassing.  Every move he made let loose a crinkling noise that felt incredibly loud in the stillness of the room.  For whatever reason, he was embarrassed at having to do what must be done. Didn’t want to wake the others.

He edged himself over at the foot and let his feet dangle.  The drop wasn’t that steep. There in the dark, it certainly felt like it.  He rolled over to his belly and slid down feet first.  That felt less risky to him.  His feet touched the floor before his arms went taut.   He’d need help climbing back in of course, but that was for a later step.

The next step came walking. The slight waddle he’d been forced to adopt while diapered increased exponentially in this thicker night time diaper.  He had to move around like he was in one of those sumo wrestler fat suits that they put on goofy T.V. game shows. Every leg had to swing out in a wide crescent arc for him to take a step forward.  It’d been easier, in fact, to crawl.  Tyler wasn’t about to do that.

“Wax on. Wax off. Wax on. Wax off.”  That’s right. He wasn’t waddling like a baby that barely knew how to walk, he was teaching himself 1980’s karate.  Sure.

“Hello?” He called out.  “Gloria?”  His voice sounded so much louder in the stillness of the house.  He suddenly realized that he had no idea where the giant’s room was. She hadn’t told him. “Hellooooo? Gloria? Glooooria?” He hoped he didn’t wake his friends up.  “I have to go to the bathroom!”

The flickering of lights coming to life. The creaking of door hinges. The falling of heavy footsteps.  From deeper inside the house, the giantess came, wearing an old nightie. “Tyler?” she whispered just loud enough so that her voice could be heard. “What’s wrong, buddy? What are you doing up?”

“I uh…have to pee.”  Tyler said, shyly.  “Would you mind helping me?”

 Gloria tilted her head curiously. “You didn’t finish your milk,” she said. “Did you?”

“I wasn’t very thirsty.”

“Thought so.”  She bent over and picked Tyler up, cradling him in her arms. “Okay, buddy. I’ll help you go pee-pee.”

Very quickly, Tyler realized she wasn’t taking him to the bathroom. “No,” he corrected her. “I didn’t wet my pants. I don’t need a diaper change. I need to pee. In the toilet.”

“I’m not going to change your diaper,” Gloria informed him. “We’re just making a quick trip to the kitchen.”  True to her word, she carried him briskly through the play room, past the changing table, and straight into the kitchen.  The light of the refrigerator was close to blinding.

“I’m not thirsty,” Tyler said. “I already told you.”

“I know,” Gloria said. “First, Granny will help you drink your milk. Then she’ll help you go pee-pee. Then she’ll help you go back to sleep.”

Tyler felt the rubber nipple brush against his cheek.  His nose caught the barest whiff of the stuff inside and his brain lit up like an alcoholic who just smelled whiskey.  He did like the milk…and it would be nice to be able to drift off.  It wasn’t his full bladder that had been keeping him up.

Tyler’s eyes adjusted and honed in on the rubber nipple. “You promise?” Tyler asked.

“Yes. Promise.” Granny said. “First milk. Then pee-pee. Then sleep.”  She shoved the bottle into his mouth and gave it a squeeze, squirting the stuff in, before Tyler had a chance to reconsider.

His lips latched onto the nipple and began suckling with the same lack of intent as his leg jerking whenever a doctor hit his knee with a hammer. Panic subsided. Hiis belly began to fill.  Without being asked to, Tyler reached up and grabbed the bottle himself, taking it from Granny.

“That’s right,” she praised him. “Drink it all up. It’ll make you feel so much better.”  Tyler did.  Every gulp made his muscles relax more and his heart rate decrease.  His eyelids were starting to feel very heavy.  His thoughts, for once, were slowing down and coming into focus.  “Good boy. That feels better, doesn’t it, big boy?”

Tyler gave a sleepy nod.  He still had to pee, but that seemed very unimportant now. It was like those rare times he’d wake up an hour or so before the alarm went off and decide that he was still too tired to get out of bed, so he’d just roll over and go back to sleep. Some part of him whispered out of the brain fog.

“What about the bathroom?” he asked. He’d gotten up and found her for that reason.

Granny carried him out of the kitchen and back through the house, only much more slowly. “I’ve been thinking about that,” she said. “Maybe you shouldn’t go in the potty?”

Tyler’s mind started revolting and racing, but his heart refused to accelerate the blood to his brain.  “Huh?”

“You getting up in the middle of the night so I can take you to the potty doesn’t make sense, does it? Not when you have a diaper on.”

“But…but…” Tyler couldn’t articulate a rebuttal.  It was like his brain was surrounded by a layer of cotton.  Not unlike his butt. Heh…another joke he couldn’t explain to anyone else.

Still cradling him, Granny bobbed him up and down in her arms. “I mean, if you want to be impractical and have to cry ‘Granny! Granny! Granny’ everytime you need to go pee-pee, like a toddler, that’s fine. I’ll help you.  Or…”

For the first time in his life, Tyler was connecting zero dots.  “Or…?”

“Or you could just go pee-pee in your diaper. That’s what it’s there for.”

“How…is that…?”  The words were even slower than his thoughts.

“How is that more grown-up?” Granny finished the thought for him.  Normally only Christy could do that.  “It’s simple. Babies have accidents in their diapers. Toddlers have accidents in their pants.  If you do it on purpose, it’s not an accident, is it?”

Tyler literally couldn’t argue with that logic. His foggy brain wouldn’t let him.  “Hmmm…” his hum turned into a pur.

“Go on, big boy,” she whispered. “Go pee-pee.  Let it alllll out.”

Tyler tried to, but something inside wouldn’t let him.  “I…I…”

Granny let out a quiet sigh. “Awww. It’s okay, baby. I understand. You don’t have any control, do you?  We’ll try again, later.”

That did it. Some part of his brain and body kicked into overdrive. Tyler hated losing.  All that needed to happen was for his mind to turn not peeing his pants into the losing condition.  “Wait!” he begged. “Wait! I’m doing it!”

He cringed and pushed through while hot piss rocketed out of him splashing against his privates seconds before it was absorbed by the thirsty diaper taped around his hips.  He heard a light hissing sound, subtle, nearly undetectable if not for the quiet of the house; like eating potato chips in a quiet theater.

“I know,” Granny smiled. “Good boy! You’re doing it! So big!”

Tyler kept his bladder going until every last drop was out.  The diaper swelled slightly, but Tyler could tell it wasn’t anywhere near close to leaking. In a few minutes, after the insides had cooled, Tyler might wonder if he’d actually ever used it.

Granny’s hand pressed between his legs.  “Very big! So good!  Did you like it?”

It was as if Tyler couldn’t keep his eyes more than half open. “Um…kind of?”  It was like a nice warm washcloth pressed up against his sensitive parts.

Granny’s hand pressed harder on the crinkly paddling.  “Let Granny help you enjoy it more.”  She started to gently rub and massage the front of the diaper.  Despite the crinkle of the infantile underwear, Tyler’s body started to respond.

“Huh?” Tyler mumbled. “What are you…?”  But he made no move to stop her.

“Don’t worry,” Granny whispered. “I’m a Granny and a nanny. You don’t have anything I haven’t seen before.”

“But…but…” Tyler’s eyes started to roll back in his head, his breathing becoming shallower.

“This won’t take long,” the giantess chuckled. “Just a little extra reward for being such a good boy and going pee-pee in your diapers on purpose. No one is getting hurt. Your Little friends can’t hear us.” Tyler wasn’t sure, but he could swear he heard the word ‘little’ be pronounced differently.  Could almost hear the difference between the capitalization. The difference between animals and Animals in Wicked.  “All your Little friends are sound asleep in bed.  This will be our secret.”

“Nnnn…” Tyler couldn’t formulate the words for a proper refusal.

“A promise is a promise,” Granny talked over him, still stroking and massaging him through the diaper.  “First milk. Then pee-pee.  Then sleep.  This will help with that.  Just close your eyes, suck your thumb, and think of something reeeeeal nice while you get your diaper patted.”

The rubbing stopped just long enough for Granny to guide Tyler’s thumb into his mouth.  He let the bottle fall from his hand and slide onto his belly.  He closed his eyes…and thought of a certain someone crawling around on the floor, wiggling her padded butt while she crawled on the floor. And it wasn’t Christy.  He sucked harder and harder on his thumb, in time with Granny’s hand messaging his diaper.  

He sucked. And sucked. And sucked. Until…

The sucking stopped, and a quiet little moan leapt out of him.  All of his muscles relaxed. His breathing deepened again.  Granny stopped rubbing. “Allll done,” she said.  “Let’s put you back in bed.”  He only knew they were traveling when Granny laid him back down in the enormous bed and tucked him in.  “I’ll change you in the morning with the others,” she promised.

Tyler let his thumb fall out of his mouth and nodded, barely conscious.

“Night night. ‘Big boy’.” her voice had an edge of mockery to it. “Sweet dreams.”  She left the room.  Just before he lost consciousness, a gentle lullabye started to play. It didn’t have lyrics, but Tyler swore it fit the lyrics and cadence of Humpty Dumpty exceedingly well.   

Tyler would wake up soaked the next morning, and barely remember this, left to wonder whether it was a dream or not.