Twitter Story: The New Kid (Patreon)

The New Kid.

“Teacher! Teacher!” The New Kid brings back the Big Person, dragging them along by the wrist.  “There’s something wrong with this baby!  I think they’re sick!”

The Big Person presses their hand to your face.  “No fever,” they say. They look into your eyes and touch your neck. “Eyes are clear. No swelling.  Why do you think they’re sick?”

The New Kid pinches their nose. “They smell bad!”

The Big Person starts laughing.  Neither you, nor the New Kid sees why this is funny. The Big Person helps you stand up and then pulls back your canary yellow shorts.  “Yup. Baby needs a change.”  A playful swat on the back of your tush sends you waddling to the changing table.

That’s a shame. You were really liking this diaper: How squishy it was.  How it was a little sticky in the back.  You have no idea what New Kid is complaining about regarding smell.  They’re following both you and Big Person to the changing table instead of walking away, so you can’t smell THAT bad.

“What kind of change?”

Big Person helps you hop up onto the table and buckles you down safely.  They smile.  “You’ll see.”

“What? Is? That?”  New Kid gasps when your shorts are yanked down to your ankles.

Big Person giggles quietly while putting on their gloves. “That’s just a diaper.  It’s a special kind of baby underwear.”

“Special how?”

Yeah! Special how?

Big Person looks to New Kid and asks. “You know how you go pee pee and poo poo in the potty?”

“Uh-huh…?”  New kid leans in to get a closer look at your diaper.

Big Person gives your diaper a pat. “Babies don’t.”

New Kid gasps. “No way!”

“Way.”  Big Person points to the middle of your diaper.  “See this little blue line here?”

“Yeah.”

“It started out a little yellow line. It turns blue when a baby goes pee pee in it.”

Your eyes widen in shock  THAT’s  where the little blue line comes from? No way!  Does that mean you don’t pee pee when you’re wearing diapers without the little blue line?  So many questions!

“Whoah!”

“And that smell?”  Big Person doesn’t finish the sentence.  They just rip the tapes off of your diaper and let the evidence speak for itself.

New Kid steps back and pinches their nose again. “Ewww! Gross!”

Big Person is already wiping you down.  “It is not,” they say firmly. “It’s perfectly natural.”

“Nuh-uh!”  

You were so close to maybe kinda sorta liking the New Kid, too.

“It is indeed.”  Big Person wipes you all over, tosses the old diaper and gets a fresh one out and underneath you super quick.  They do it as easily as some people do washing their hands after potty break…except better cuz you’ve seen how hard it is for them.  “Just about everyone wears diapers at some point in their life.”

“Even you?”  New Kid asks Big Person.

“Even me,” Big Person says, pulling the new diaper closed.  The line isn’t blue now! That means it’s…wet or dry…you can’t remember.  “I used to be a baby.  Then I grew up and decided I liked it.”

“I’m not a baby.” New Kid says proudly.  

“You used to be one.” Big Person tells them. “Then you grew up so you don’t remember anymore.”  They stand you up and pull your canary yellow shorts back on.  Experimentally, you wiggle your hips, and smile at the nice rustling sound of the fresh diaper. Big Person gives you a hug and a kiss.  “This one did, too,” they say, indicating you.  “They just didn’t like it.  Now they’re a baby again.”

“Really?”

Yeah!  Really?

Big Person steps aside and pats the changing table.  They’ve already got a fresh diaper in one hand.  “What about you?  Do you want to be a baby?  All you have to do is hop up.  I’ll take care of the rest.”

What do you think New Kid will say?  

(The End)

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