Twitter Story: In Good Company (Patreon)

"Has anybody figured anything out?"

"Nope.  Not yet."

"I pooped myself in my sleep last night.  Does that count?"

A chorus of disgusted No's is the reply.  

"What? I've lost my potty training. Shouldn't that we be worried about that?"

All around you, peers shift anxiously.  People in dresses try to tug down on them for the dozenth time, despite the hems being too short to cover up their Luvs.  Folks in onesies keep trying to shove their hands in pockets that aren't there.  People in snap overalls keep unconsciously fiddling with the straps like they're suspenders.  You're standing with your hands folded in front of you. Not only does it look "professional" but it also covers up the blue pee line.

You need a change but you're trying to put it off.

You're standing in a kind of group huddle, doing your best to seem like the adult you know you should be instead of the toddler you're dressed as and want to be.  All around you, other "kids" aged 20 something to early 60's from the look of it, crawl and roll and waddle and toddle playing baby games and sucking on pacifiers and cuddling with stuffies and watching cartoons.  

Damn you wish you could do that, too.  But no, you're one of the "lucky few" that retained their sense of self and kept their minds after whatever magic or batshit science project causing this reality warp tore through your job.  

You know you're an adult. You know can still talk and ask questions and protest and say no, not that the people who remained adults can understand you.  You can still be embarrassed and insist that you don't need a diaper change or that you can feed yourself.

And so you do.  So all of you do.  It's the only rational thing TO do.  Same with this group daycare meeting.  Everyone who still has their wits about them, when not whining about how they're not actually babies has come and put their heads together to try and sus out what common factors you all have that allowed you to retain your grown-up brain when so many other people are happily filling their Huggies.

Admittedly, you haven't been trying very hard.  Most of your effort has been dedicated to acting embarrassed being given everything you can remember wanting and needing.  Even now, you're masking, and trying to pass yourself off as 'normal'.  Oh, the irony.

"Maybe it's a time thing?" Someone suggests.  "Are we all the same age?"

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that you're not.  Some of you don't even have the same hometown.  "What about uh...little age?" Another suggests.  "Are we all being treated like the same when were little?"

Something about the phrasing pricks your ears up but you don't say anything.

"How would we know that?" your neighbor in the huddle asks.

"Same diaper style?"

"Mine were plastic backed."  One of the older 'babies' says.  "These aren't.  Shame too. Plastic holds better."

"Are they at least the same brand?"

You speak in the negative.  These scaled up diapers are nice, but they're not the same brand that your parents bought the first time around.

No patterns.

Then somebody looks at you and cocks an eyebrow.  "How would you know what kind of diapers you wore when you were a baby?  Who pays attention to that kind of stuff?"

Your mouth goes dry. Oh no! Now they're going to know! You're going to be a freak and blamed by all these normies who have been plunged into one of your deepest darkest fantasies. Then you realize... "Who calls them plastic backed? How would you know plastic vs. cloth backed?"

That's when it hits.  Not all at once, but quick enough, like a line of dominoes. You've all been hiding the same thing from each other.  The tension immediately leaves everyone's body and everyone stops pretending.

The conversation immediately shifts.  Life stories are exchanged.  Friendships and connections start being made.  Teasing becomes more playful and suddenly people stop acting worried if they're wet or messy or acting too immature.

Maybe you'll all get back and track and figure out how to reverse this bucket of crazy.  Maybe...

But for now it's time to enjoy yourself and go play.