The New Narnia- Chapter 37: Cafe Revanche (Patreon)

Chapter 37: Cafe Revanche
I admit that in the past I've been a nasty

They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch

But you'll find that nowadays

I've mended all my ways

Repented, seen the light, and made a switch

To this

True? Yes.

And I fortunately know a little magic

It's a talent that I always have possessed

And dear lady, please don't laugh

I use it on behalf

Of the miserable, the lonely, and depressed

(Pathetic)



“So THEN between 2017 and 2018 I switched Charlie to formula,” Mrs. Watson blathered on.  “I wanted to give the girls a break,” she adjusted her breasts for emphasis.  “But Charlie wasn’t eating with as much...gusto...so I started pumping.  His appetite picked back up, but that lacked that the...let’s call it intimacy, so I switched back to full on breastfeeding.”

Nanny listened intently, resting her chin on the palm of her hand. “What did you do to get your milk back?  Hormones? Having him suck dry until things kicked back in?”

“That was the thing,”  Mrs. Watson laughed.  “I never went dry.  I just kept making milk whether I wanted to or not.  I thought I was supposed to stop producing after I’d weaned Charlie, but my body never got the memo.”

“Like magic,” Nanny agreed.  “It’s almost like your body just wasn’t ready.”

“Charlie’s sure wasn’t,”  Mrs. Watson replied.  “He took back to it like we’d never stopped.” She snapped her fingers.  “Just like that.  So it really was all for the best.  I express it for daycare and sometimes for outings, but breast is best.”  She sighed.  “Wish I wouldn’t have spent all that money though.”

“On formula?”

“That and regular bras.  Threw out all my nursing bras.”

“Mistaaaake.”  The two women who’d just met each other laughed like they were old friends, even if there appeared to be a thirty year age difference between them.

While the two ladies gabbed, another conversation was taking place just under their noses.  In their respective highchairs, two magically shrunken and diapered men conversed with frank openness.

Tommy looked at Charlie aghast.  “Ew, you breastfeed?  From your mom?”

Charlie shrugged.  “Who else was I supposed to breastfeed from?”  It was hard to embarrass someone with next to no pride.  “Besides,, after close to twenty years, you get into a kind of routine.  Formula just wasn’t the same.”

Charlie looked to the elvish Nannies breasts and felt a kind of lust.  He pictured them as his mother’s and shuddered.  Time to change the subject  “What are we doing here, anyway?”

“I think the ladies are gettin’ coffee,” Charlie replied.  “It happens.”

It was true.  After a few more minutes on the playground, the two women had decided to pick their respective charges up and walk from the park to a little cafe just around the block. Charlie and Tommy had been plopped in cheap store highchairs, the kind without even a try and a flimsy waist buckle instead of a firm chest harness; and the two caregivers just began talking in between sips of flavored bean water.

“Yeah,” Tommy said, “but why?”

“Why what?” Charlie asked.  “Sometimes grown-ups gotta talk and we just gotta wait on ‘em.  You didn’t think being a baby would be all coos and giggles, didja?”

“Kinda…”

“Yeah, well good luck training your Mommy like I trained mine,” Charlie moped.  “Talking to people when you crinkle is a lot like talking to dogs.  Words don’t matter as much as tone.  Watch.”  He cupped his hands.  “Hey, Mom!”

“I keep thinking about cloth-diapering, but his daycare only accepts…” She stopped.  “Yes, Charlie? What is it?”

Tommy watched  as Charlie smiled and started to swear up a storm.  “You’re a dumb cunt twat waffle that doesn’t understand even basic English!  You wipe my flabby ass because it’s all you're good for!”  

His mother leaned forward and ruffled his hair. “D’aawww, I love you too.”  She kissed him once on each cheek.

“What do you think he’s saying?” the Nanny said, eyeing the pair.  She knew.  Tommy could tell.  She was immune; immune and possibly the cause for everything he’d been going through lately.

“Oh I just think he doesn’t want me to forget he’s there, is all.”  Mrs. Watson said to Nanny.  “Sometimes babies just need to hear themselves babble.”

Tommy gave his new companion an astonished grin.  “Holy crap!” Tommy gushed.  “You just cussed her out and she gave you a kiss for it?”

“Yup.  Fringe benefits.” Charlie replied.  “You gotta figure out how to entertain yourself when you’re the only one that listens.”

Tommy nodded.  “Yeah.  I can get that.  It sucks when you’re smart but everyone thinks you’re a few fries short of a Happy Meal.”  He twist his mouth.  “What’s a twat waffle anyways?”

“Waffles?”  Charlie’s mother chuckled.  “It’s a little late for breakfast.”

Nanny shot Tommy a warning glance.  “It must be the coffee.  He probably thinks we’re at a Waffle House or something.”   Yeah.  She definitely knew.

“I heard him say waffle,” Mrs. Watson said, “but not house.”

“I’ve got something of a trained ear.”

“Careful,” Charlie said.  “I don’t think you’re as um...advanced as me or whatever.  People can still get the jist of what you’re saying, I think...even if it’s just a couple of words.”  Tommy looked to Nanny and saw her discreetly nod as she sipped her coffee.

“That’s not fair.”  Tommy huffed.  He crossed his arms over his chance.  “I kind of wanted to try it out.”

Charlie scowled.  “It’s not as fun as you think, kid.  When you don’t get old, everything else does...and quick!”

“Uh oh,” Charlie’s mom chimed in.  “I think someone is getting to be a bit of a cranky pants.  Here, let me check.”  Tommy watched as his new friend was plucked out of the highchair and sat on his mother’s knee.  She peeked and poked at his diaper.  “Still dry.”  She patted his bottom.  “Clean too.”

Charlie looked over to Tommy and shrugged.  “See what I mean?  She knows the tone more than the words?  Ugh...twat waffle.”

“If it’s not your diaper,” Mrs. Watson began  “maybe you’re gettin’ hungry“  She unbuttoned her shirt and opened up the cup of her nursing bra.  Charlie didn’t have time to comment before he was pulled in.  Tommy sat there uncomfortably as his new friend breastfed right in front of him, suckling and mewling like a kitten.  So this is what this kind of stuff looked like from the outside.  “Such a good little eater.  Yes he is!”

The woman with the mismatched eyes took a moment to dig around in her diaper bag.  “You want some milk, too?”  She offered a full bottle, all but shoving it in Tommy’s face.  The milk had a kind of golden hue instead of pure white.  It wasn’t plain old cow’s milk.

“What happened to the apple juice?”  Tommy asked wearily.  

Nanny was the Cheshire cat.  All mismatched eyes and sparkling white teeth. She leaned in.  “This is better than the apple juice.  A few sips of this and you’ll get to play catchup with your little friend over there.”  Tommy eyed the bottle, wearily.  “Think about it, Tommy.  Wouldn’t it be nice to live in a world where your biggest problem was whether or not you were going to leak?  And even then, that’s not a problem you’d be responsible for.  Someone else would.  No more big boy problems.  No more judgement.  No more disapproving mother or annoying big sister.”

“I’d be like Charlie?”  Tommy asked, quietly.  

“And you’d never have to go back in the clock,” Nanny insisted.  “This is just a little piece of the clock coming out to you.”

Tommy held the bottle in his hands.  Better than the apple juice?  A little sip, that’s all it’d take. A few droplets of magical mother’s milk. and he could correct his mistake, possibly the biggest mistake he’d ever made: Growing up.

Slowly, Tommy puckered his lips, almost like he was going for a kiss. Trembling he lifted the bottle, Nanny watching him like a certain Sea-Witch, only with no eel sidekicks to whisper about how the boss was on a roll.  Charlie was still sucking on his mother’s tit, lost in his own little world.  “See you on the other side…”

“Ooop!” A strangely familiar voice called out. “HEEEEEY! WATCH IT ASS-HOOOO-OOOOH!”  Tommy put the bottle down on the table.  Standing to the side, rubbing her ass, was Amanda  “Ooooh! Hello!”  Her tone changed immediately.

“Is something the matter?”  Mrs. Watson asked.  

“No, no.  I just thought your baby was...someone else.  I felt a little grab and whoop...y’know?”    Reaching out and still groping at the air where Amanda’s ass had been, Charlie continued to flex his fingers.

Mrs. Watson seemed confused until she saw Charlie's hand.  “Oh! Charlie!  You should know better!  Bad baby!”  She unlatched him from her nipple.  Still, her words didn’t seem particularly stern.  Ironically enough, Charlie wasn’t the only one going through motions.

“OOOOOF!”  Charlie sounded like a deep sea diver coming up for air or something.  “That hit the spot,” he said, wiping his chin. “Nothing like milk RIGHT FROM THE TAP!”  He looked over his shoulder and gave Tommy a wink, before casting his gaze down wearily at the bottle.  All of a sudden, Tommy wasn’t nearly as thirsty.

“Oh it’s okay,” Amanda said, putting on the same fake smile she reserved for preferred teachers.  “A case of mistaken identity.  How old is your little guy?”

“He’s thirty-six.”

Amanda did not have quite the same reaction as the girls in the park had.  She blinked and frowned as if she’d just tasted a bit of earwax.  “Thirty-six...months?”

“Years, actually.”

A now sour look.  “Oh...oh…” she said.  “Okay.  Yeah….yeah.”  Tommy watched as Amanda replastered that same fake smile over her growing disgust.  “I actually know someone like that, who has that kind of...um...condition.  I babysit for him.  I play games, sing songs, change diapers, everything.  If you’d like I could give you my contact infor-”

“That won’t be necessary,” Nanny spoke up.  

Amanda turned and scowled.  Shades of Malacus’s deposed sorceress Queen colored her expression. “Um...who are you?”

“Your replacement.”  Tommy was picked up and placed on Nanny’s lap.  “And I don’t call over boys to my clients’ house and fuck them on the sofa after putting my charge to bed early.”

“How do you-?” Amanda stopped and bit her lip.  Tommy was surprised blood didn’t come out.  She looked down into Nanny’s lap and finally saw Tommy.  “If this is something you heard from Tommy, you’ve got it all wrong, hun.  He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.  He’s eighteen and still needs Pull-Ups.”

Tommy couldn’t tell if his body was heating up from anger or embarrassment.  Both maybe?  Out of habit, he did his best to close his legs and yank his shirt down over the Luvs.  Nothing.  He couldn’t even cross his legs.  He picked the bottle back up instead.  

Nanny replied, “Tommy didn’t tell me anything.  Mrs. Dean did.”  That was a blatant lie.  Not that Tommy minded the look of utter horror on Amanda’s eyes.  Breaking bad was never fun when you finally got caught.

“How-?”  Amanda was shaking?  It might have been fear or it could have been indignant rage.  Both maybe?

There’s a reason I’m here with little Tommy and not you.  “Or do you think someone like Mrs. Dean doesn’t have Nanny cams to make sure that people like you don’t take the silverware?”

“Dean?”  Charlie said.   But he was caught off while his mother guided his head to her other tit.

Amanda leaned right down into the Nanny’s face, a snarling she-wolf.  “LIsten here you stuck up bi-”

SPLURT!

Tommy gave the bottle of not-cow milk a hefty squeeze.  It was no Tom the Titan feat, but it was enough to coat the Senior’s face with milky white film dripping from her forehead down to her chin.

“Ooopsie!” Tommy giggled.  “Me squeezed too hard.  But don’t worry, I didn’t mean it.  I’m just a dumb baby.”

Amanda froze, milk dripping from her face.  She pursed her lips, sending a few drops into her mouth.  Then her tongue began probing, a snake sniffing the air, licking more off.  She opened her mouth again, but her tongue only succeeded in licking more of the milk.  “Ah-” She gasped.  “Ah-”  

Speechless:  There was something Tommy had never seen from Amanda.  That alone had been worth it.  Payback for the previous night; fuck; for an entire puberty worth of bullying more than justified it.

Nanny leaned over and dug out a fresh Huggies.  “Here,” she shoved the diaper into Amanda’s arms.  “You’re going to need this.  Now run along.”

Mortified and still trying to lick milk off her own face, that’s exactly what Amanda Monroe did.

“I thought you didn’t pack enough diapers,” Mrs. Watson said. “That’s why you stopped me.”

Nanny put Tommy back in the cafe’s highchair; he heard a slight squelch as he was seated on the hard plastic.  When had he wet?  “I really just wanted Tommy to have a little friend,” she said.  “And asking for a spare diaper was as good an icebreaker as any.”

“He’ll have lots of little friends if you can get his mother to enroll him in daycare.”

“I’m trying.”  Nanny sighed and put away the half empty bottle.   “I’m trying.”

“Sorry about that,” Charlie whispered when he was put back in the adjoining chair.  “I was trying to get your attention, so I uh...reached out and touched someone.  Maybe don’t drink that bottle if you still want to have um...stimulating conversations.”  

“Yeah…”  Tommy whispered back.  “I kinda figured.”  It’s why he squirted the milk straight in Amanda’s face, instead of all over her pretty clothes.

“Um...who did I touch?” Charlie asked.  “She seemed to know you.”

Tommy shivered and looked over his shoulder. Wherever she was, Amanda wasn’t here anymore.  “Old girlfriend.”  He stopped.  “I mean friend…I mean a girl.  Just a girl.”

“The one who got away?” Charlie asked.  His bottom lip popped out a bit and his eyes got their own far off look. Either Charlie was diving back into his own past...or he was taking a dump.  Fifty-fifty either way.


“Naw,” Tommy said.  “Just someone I used to beat off to.  She was great...as long as you ignored everything besides her looks.”

An older hand landed on Tommy’s shoulder and patted it reassuringly.  “Hey.  No regrets, right Tommy?” Charlie said.  “People like you and me?  We don’t have time for them.  Nothing we can do now, anyways.”

 ******************************************************************************
“What movie are we going to?”  Katy asked her boyfriend.

Jefferson smiled, one hand still on the wheel with another draping over Katy’s shoulders.  “Doesn’t matter,” he said.  “I don’t care what movie we see.  As long as it’s not crowded. And dark And we can sit in the back.”  Jefferson might be taking her to the theater, but Katy wasn’t going to be watching any movie.  

Idly she hoped maybe they could see a cartoon.  That way she’d have something neat and fun to look at when she wasn’t kissing her new boyfriend on the lips.

At the stoplight, Jefferson leaned in and gave her a kiss. Katie felt a spurt enter her diaper.  On a whim, she’d decided to slip one into her panties just before Jefferson got there to pick her up.  It was an impulsive, rash, decision...and it was making her wet in more ways than one.

For some reason the Huggies seemed to fit her perfectly, and the skirt she picked out hid it well enough, as long as she didn’t have to bend all the way over that is.  No one would see her dirty little crinkling secret.  And if anyone hurt it she could just say she was wearing a pad.

Right?  Right.

The spare she’d tucked away in her purse was another story.  No denying that if anyone saw it.  She might just say it for Tommy and she’d left it in from the last time she was babysitting him; that was kind of the truth.  

Speaking of which, Katy noticed, she was going through those diapers she’d snuck in much faster than expected.  At this rate she’d have to smuggle in more by the end of the week.  That was a later problem, though.  

Let’s just enjoy this afternoon and see where it heads tonight, she thought to herself.  

“Hey babe,” Jefferson said.  “Whatcha doing?”

Hunched over like a Hobbit with the One Ring, Katy took another quick drag from the bottle of apple juice and stashed it back down in her purse.  “Just drinking some juice.”

“Oh yeah?” Jefferson reached out his hand.  “Hit me up.”

“Um...not while you’re driving.  It’s not just juice.”

“Oooooh,” Jefferson said.  “Okay.  Cool.  Just save some for me when we get there.  Daddy wants a little buzz.”

“Okay.”  Katy instantly knew that that had been a lie.  “I will.”  All the same, Jefferson calling himself ‘Daddy’ caused Katy to get a little wetter between her legs.  Which kind, she wasn’t sure.  Honestly, it didn’t matter.  One thing always led to another.