Tales From Nightshade Tavern 13 - Combobulating (Amelia) (Patreon)

13 - Chapter 13 -  Combobulating (Amelia)

[ - content warnings: trauma in the context of a dissociative system - ]

[author]

Hey folks! This chapter marks our return to writing and publishing our work. Sorry for the delay! Our surgery went beautifully, as has the recovery thus far, and we’ve been severely enjoying playing Baldur’s Gate 3 in the interim. Unfortunately our writing habits fell by the way side during recovery, and we’re just now starting to get them back. Here’s hoping for more Acceptance and more Nightshade soon!

[/author]

Glowing balls of light floated silently throughout the high dome shaped ceiling of the ritual room. Beneath them Lillian stood between us and the massive doorway, her huge lavender bat wings folded neatly against her back and her tail traced lazy patterns through the air behind her.

Emily stands in the center of the concentric ritual circles and sigils inlaid with some sort of reflective metal in the stone floor, her furry red ears perked upright and her tail stilled behind her. We’d decided she would ‘front’ for all of us during this conversation. Kate or I could step in if we felt the need to, but Emily was in the leading role.

In headspace my long floofy white tail swished back and forth behind me while my hands clasped each other in front of my pretty white-with-turquoise-flowers dress. My tall white tufted fox ears twitched as they tuned in on Emily’s conversation with Lillian happening in our physical reality.

“...is Kate, she’s really nice! We’ve been talking for hours it feels like. But you know that, right? You must’ve done this ritual yourself,” Emily half asked, half demanded with her arms crossed, tip of her tail twitching about anxiously.

I could see the burning fire of curiosity in Lillian’s stormy grey eyes as my partner in mind spoke, courtesy of the massive ‘viewing screen’ Kate had set up for us. It hovered a few inches off the ground at the edge of a clearing in a densely wooded forest in the center of our mind. The edges of the viewing screen faded into a black void that swirled clockwise like a many-armed galaxy.

Kate herself was standing beside me in our headspace in her long black cloak with intricate symbols sewn in silver thread all over it. She was smiling a tiny smile at Emily’s antics.

Lillian seemed prepared for Emily’s question, as she answered it in stride while facing off with us. “Every system is unique, so no, I don’t know what you’re going through exactly. But yes, I have performed this ritual. The Daughter of Hekate who answered my call fused with the person I used to be, and together they became who I am now, after a little trial and error.” She wiggled her hand side to side with that last part.

“Oh wow,” I said in headspace, “that’s fascinating.”

“Indeed, knowing she's got a piece of divinity in her, same as us, is reassuring,” Kate replied.

I knew it! Emily thought to both of us, I knew she was way too cool to be a regular succubus, cause she’s a semidivine succubus!

I laughed. Kate was grinning beside me.

In our physical reality Emily said, “That’s really interesting! Maybe you could tell us a bit more about how that happened for you sometime?”

Lillian nodded. “Absolutely, perhaps the next time we hang out in my room?” she offered.

We nodded eagerly.

“We could even go there right now if you’d like,” our succubus said, “which brings me to my next point: you have the rest of today off to cope with having a new being born into your mind. You may do whatever you wish with that time, and you may have as much time as you need afterwards to combobulate yourselves.”

Emily blinks as we all process that.

A day to ourselves, maybe more! That sounds awesome! Emily exclaims.

Yeah! I agree. Kate, what do you want to do today? As it’s your first day of existence, I think you should set boundaries on what all you have energy for.

Kate nods. I would like to spend time with you both, but I’m not terribly picky about what we do during that time, she explained. You both want to talk to Lillian some more, so how about we go do that?

I could feel sincerity threaded through her thoughts. That sounds good to me! I exclaimed.

Our floofy red-with-a-white-tip tail twitched around excitedly behind us as we contemplated spending time with the woman who we’ve been fucking and training with for the past month.

“I think we just might take you up on that offer to come back to your place,” Emily said aloud with a cheeky smile. “Kate, Amelia and I are excited to just exist together some more, and we’d love to do that with you, if that’s okay?”

Lillian smiled warmly. “Of course it’s okay, I’d be delighted to get to know the new you. Kate, was it?”

I saw a look of surprise flash across on Kate’s face, before she smiled warmly.

Please tell her I’d be delighted to get to know her as well, the new member of our mind said.

“Kate says she’d be delighted to get to know you, too,” Emily happily relayed.

Lillian straightened up, her wings fluttering a little before settling against her back once more. “Then shall we adjourn to my chambers?” she asked with an arched eyebrow.

Emily bounces on the balls of our feet with excitement. “Yes!” my lover in mind replied eagerly.

“Let us go then,” Lillian commanded, twirling on a heel and leading the way out of the ritual room and into the hallways of the Tavern.

Emily scrambled to keep up with our mentor’s long-legged strides, and she soon settled into a speed walk with short bursts of running to catch up every now and then.

This’ll be great! I thought to Kate and Emily. We can get to know each other better while learning more about Lillian too!

Kate seemed amused by my enthusiasm, but she thought back: I agree completely.

The trek took us from the soaring hallways of the inner Nightshade Tavern into the narrower corridors of the residential area. We were still learning our way around this place, and I gradually started to notice familiar landmarks as we entered Lillian’s wing of the sprawling magical structure.

The purple succubus led us to her pair of black wooden doors with protective purple sigils scattered across them and slid her key into its lock. She opened one of the doors and held it while Emily stepped daintily past her, brushing our fingers against our lover’s abdomen affectionately. Lillian’s abs tensed, and she smiled playfully but made no comment on our familiar touch. It was something we had noticed early on: our succubus teacher seemed to appreciate tender caresses in private moments, and Emily was working on finding opportunities to squeeze more of those moments into each day.

We settled down in Lillian’s sitting room on our customary couch, a black leather affair with big comfy cushions that we loved to lay back on while our Mistress’s words took us away.

Emily had to hop a little to get our butt on the couch properly, tail held carefully out of the way, and we decided to lay on our side this time, head resting on the armrest nearest Lillian’s deep red armchair. Lillian herself headed past us into her kitchen.

“Can I get you anything besides the usual water and cookies?” she asked us. “Does Kate have a particular food she likes? I know my fragment of Hekate enjoyed oranges, but I believe they’re all unique in their tastes, based on what I’ve heard from others.”

Interesting, I’ll have to try out eating sometime, Kate thought. The Goddess has few regrets, but one of them is being unable to experience mortal food without incarnating and losing parts of Herself in the process. The aggregate of Hekate cannot eat. I’m pretty sure part of Her grand scheme is to live vicariously through all of her Daughters, who very much can.

“Kate doesn’t know what she might like,” Emily translated to Lillian aloud, “But cookies and maybe some cocoa would be a good start?”

“Coming right up,” Lillian called from the kitchen.

Either of you want to switch in now? Emily inquired as she nestled further into the comfy couch cushions, pulling one of the folded blankets from the top of the couch onto our prone form in the process.

I glanced at Kate and met her soft brown eyes with a questioning look. She shook her head, and I nodded.

I think we’re both content to keep watching you for now, Kate replied to Emily.

Alrighty, suit yourselves, Emily said with a shrug.

Just as we were starting to get a little hot under the blanket, Lillian returned with a small platter of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. She was getting good at making our favorite recipe, after we’d confessed it was one of the few things we missed from our childhood a week or so ago. Lillian settled into her red high and narrow backed armchair and set the cookies down on the coffee table in front of us.

Taste THIS Kate! Emily declared.

She then eagerly took a cookie from the ceramic plate and bit off about half of the thing, closing her eyes, chewing, and focusing on the bursts of flavor as our tongue made contact with the melty chocolate chips inside the soft yet firm delicious dough. There was just a hint of vanilla in the aftertaste of the treat, and I could practically feel my headspace body salivating at the thought of getting to eat more of these cookies. A glance to my right revealed Kate in a similar state of rapturous bliss, her eyes half-closed and her lips curled up in a beatific smile.

“Are they to your liking?” Lillian asked with a hint of mirth in her voice.

Emily let out a quiet moan of contentment. “They’re heavenly,” she said.

Do you think that’s insensitive to a demon? I asked curiously.

“Ah shit, sorry if that’s rude,” Emily groaned aloud in response.

Lillian smirked. “I understand the sentiment, though I disagree with it. The hells have far more pleasure to offer than the heavens, in my experience.”

She’s definitely right there, from what I can recall on short notice, Kate comments.

“Truly? I would love to experience them sometime with you, if, y’know, that’s a thing we can do,” Emily replied.

Lillian looked a little surprised. “You’re not worried about losing your souls if you venture down there, or whatever nonsense the churches are peddling these days?”

Emily shook our head. “Nope, we’re already sworn to serve a Goddess and you yourself, our soul is protected I bet. And besides, I doubt you’d let anything truly terrible happen to us.”

Our succubus smiled. “You’re right of course, and to be clear, there’s no danger to you visiting the hells and we may indeed get a chance to go there sometime together. Though it’s more likely to be a business trip than anything else, as Hekate has been making connections with the various demon clans and I’m technically an ambassador to the succubi.”

Emily raised our eyebrows. “That sounds super cool!” she said excitedly.

Lillian shrugged. “It’s no big deal, just means I have to sit through meetings that are just shy of becoming orgies every month.”

“Sounds restrained for a room full of people who are anything like you,” Emily remarked cheekily.

Lillian rolled her eyes. “Oh hush you,” she said, swatting a hand in our direction. Then she sat up a little straighter, and I could tell she was getting serious.

“There’s something I’ve been wondering about,” Lillian began. She hesitated, as if unsure about her next words. “I guess the best way to ask is, do you two know how you became a system? Amelia and Emily I mean. Kate I understand a little more for obvious reasons.”

Emily raised a finger to respond, then held it and poof!ed into existence inside our headspace. “Is it okay if I tell her?” she asked earnestly.

I smiled and nodded, swishing my tail happily. I was glad Lillian had asked, it was a topic we’d been avoiding for the entire time we’d known her, mostly out of habit. Out of sight out of mind they said, and we wanted our childhood as far from our mind as we could get, so we rarely broached the subject ourselves.

But I trusted Lillian and I knew Emily did too. It was time she knew a little more about our mysterious past.

“Please do!” I said in our mind.

Emily poof!ed back into the front of our body, and looked at Lillian with a grin.

“Yeah,” Emily began, “we know how we came to be a system. Our parents and guardians beat us until we split up. Amelia is the expert though, she knew about me a looooong time before I knew about her.”

I blushed internally, though it was certainly true. I’d spent the better part of my life as nothing but a feminine voice in Emily’s head. I mostly daydreamed about being a girl with Emily, plus whenever I was awake I was always pushing her to express herself more and find more joy in life, no matter what gender she chose to identify as.

“Perhaps Amelia should tell this story then?” Kate suggested from beside me.

I blinked at her, then looked back at the viewing screen. “Uh, yeah, I guess I could do that,” I said.

“Amelia’s gonna come to the front to tell the story properly!” Emily said happily to Lillian.

Our succubus raised an eyebrow, but said nothing as Emily poof!ed into headspace and I stepped forward into the vagpit of the body. (We no longer had a cock to speak of, thank the Goddess, so there was no way we were calling the front of our body and mind the ‘cockpit’).

I opened my eyes and stretched luxuriously as I let go of some of the tension Emily had been holding. Then I fixed my gaze upon our lover.

“You’re sure you want to hear this? It’s not exactly a happy story,” I warned.

“I’m positive,” Lillian countered.

“Very well.” I sighed. “It all started in a sleepy little village called Promdix far to the west of here. Our parents were young, too young to care for us properly if I’m honest, and the uncle and grandfather that lived in the house with us weren’t much help either. Emily manifested when the four of them beat us so bad I blacked out, after I got caught trying on one of our mom’s dresses. Em was always the strong one, the one who came to the front whenever I got caught doing something inappropriately feminine, and she took the brunt of the beatings for me.”

I could tell Emily was blushing up a storm, but to her credit she didn’t try to deny what I was saying.

“Ah fuck,” Lillian said with feeling, “I’m so sorry you had to endure that. I’m going to spoil you extra hard from now on.”

I blushed. “Oh we’re fine, we survived, and it made us the badass system we are today.”

Lillian shook her head. “No child should have to endure that kind of monstrous behavior from the adults who are supposed to be protecting and nourishing them.”

I gave her a broken smile. “Well, yeah. And I knew that, deep down. Emily... she didn’t. She spent a long time trying to fit into their twisted idea of who she was supposed to be, and it hurt her deeply.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry. That’s so disgusting of your parents, I hope they get dragged to the hells the bad way,” our friend said. Then she shook her head. “But my apologies, we’re not here for a pity party.”

“So tell me, how did you go from oppressed child to kingdom spy?” Lillian asked.

I took a deep breath. Then continued: “Emily let go of all memory of my existence after enough beatings. She went back to being the boy they wanted her to be. She went to the King’s Academy in Chella and excelled at doing what she was told, passing the martial and mental classes with high honors. The King’s spymaster took an interest in her ability to blend into the background, a skill cultivated over years of avoiding family arguments and fights, and brought her into his organization. There, Emily excelled at stealth, espionage, and several different martial weapons.”

Lillian looked sympathetic, for some reason. “I’m not surprised you excelled at your classes, you really are incredibly talented girls,” she said.

I blushed deeply. “Thank you,” I replied.

Lillian reached over and brushed a strand of deep auburn hair away from our face. “Of course sweethearts, of course,” she said softly. “So how long were you in the King’s Spy Corps before you found us?”

“About six years?” I hazarded, “Give or take a few months, we weren’t keeping track. We existed in a malaise of depression despite our prowess at our occupation.”

“Of course,” Lillian said, her stormy grey eyes filled with compassion, “I can guess why, but what was keeping you so down?”

I put a finger to my chin. “Our inner hatred of ourselves, the expectations of manhood that society forced on us, and our twisted belief that femininity was superior to everything else, among other things, probably,” I replied after a moment of thought.

You don’t have to take accountability for my self-inflicted misery, Emily said to me privately.

I’m not, you do that plenty yourself, I replied just as privately. But I was just as convinced of some of those misogynistic beliefs as you were, I’m taking accountability for those.

Her ears were still folded back against her bright red hair in headspace, her tail twitching at the tip and her face nervous. Fair enough, she responded.

Don’t worry about me cutie, I reassured her, I’ll be fine.

Lillian was nodding sagely. “That sounds supremely difficult,” she said.

I nodded to her, and got wordless consent from Kate and Emily to change the subject. “It was. But enough about us, how about you share with us your own experiences with the embody-the-goddess ritual?”

Our succubus smiled. “Of course, thank you all for satisfying my curiosity.” She leaned back against her tall straight-and-narrow-backed chair, her wings positioned on either side of the red cushioned fabric.

“As for my story, the embodiment ritual went off without a hitch. I signed my contract with the greater Hekate, everything went black for a moment, and I woke up with a new voice in my head. This was centuries ago, mind you, back before Hekate had a foothold in the hells, and it took my former self decades to warm up to the shard of goddess in her head. But eventually Peleanne, my former self, and Seluna, my shard of the Goddess, fell deeply in love. They spent half a century together, before deciding to fuse into the Lillian you know today.”

Woah, Emily remarked.

Cute, Kate thought.

“That’s amazing!” I said aloud. “What made them decide to fuse?”

I couldn’t imagine wanting to become one with Emily, we were just getting used to being a system and I felt fiercely protective of my relationship with her.

Lillian smiled. “Love, I think. Or maybe just convenience? They practiced lots of arcane rituals together, weaving their magics from the heavens and the hells into complex spells that no one they knew had ever seen before. They actually began to fuse on accident all the time when they felt particularly in tune with each other, eventually it just became the norm for me to be here instead of them.”

I had another bite of delicious cookie, considering my next words carefully.

“Is it normal for demons and goddesses to work together?” I asked.

“It’s rare that celestial and infernal beings’ goals align, but that’s beginning to change I think, as we all collectively grow up. Hekate’s mandate to spread magic to the world lined up perfectly with my former self’s goal of spreading chaos to the masses even back in the old days though, which is why I’ve been on her team for so long,” Lillian explained.

“Fascinating,” I said. Then I hesitated, another question on the tip of my tongue.

Emily and Kate were lying in some plush wooden lounge chairs that they’d conjured up in headspace, watching Lillian and I with interest through the viewing screen.

“Go on Amelia, what else do you want to know?” Lillian said kindly, before she took a sip from her own mug of hot cocoa.

I blushed at being so easy to read, though I was kind of used to it by now. Lillian had near-supernatural levels of intuition, after all.

“If you’re a succubus-ambassador, what are you doing here training us? Don’t you have like a gazillion other more important things to do?” I inquired.

The succubus ambassador in question laughed lightly. “Do not discount your own importance, little foxes. You are trained agents of the crown of Chella who have sworn their allegiance to Hekate. Giving you the advantage of Hekate’s magic and getting you back out in the field as soon as possible is of considerable import, I should think. Doubly so considering Chella’s strategic importance to our cause.”

I blinked at her.

It’s true you know, Kate said from her reclined position on the lounge chair, the three of us will likely, hopefully, become a truly formidable asset to Hekate’s mission.

“Seriously?” Emily replied from her own lounge chair in our head. “I guess you and Lillian would know best but that seems... dubious.”

Kate smiled. “It’s the truth,” she said.

I shook our head in real space. “Okay, I guess I hadn’t thought of it like that,” I confessed to Lillian. “And you said you’ve had hundreds of other students before, right? Do you like teaching?”

Our succubus laughed. “I love teach--”

HELP REQUESTED IN TAVERN DINING ROOM

The thought flashed through Emily, Kate, and my mind at the same time, and I could tell Lillian had experienced something too. Her eyes widened fractionally, and her breath caught in her throat.

“Hells, that was Angela’s magic! If she needs help, we’d better get all hands on deck,” Lillian said as she stood up and moved to suit up for battle.

“We’ll follow you,” Emily said, throwing off the comfy blanket and getting to our feet. She’d switched into the vagpit the moment she sensed danger, and I gratefully acquiesced control.

“Stay close and follow my lead,” Lillian said commandingly, “we’re Scouts, not front line fighters, our objectives will usually be focused on information gathering. In a fight, we’ll try to keep to the shadows and strike where they least expect.”

“Understood,” Emily said, her thoughts all on the business at hand.

Fortunately Emily knew where Lillian’s armory was, and she quickly retrieved a sword, dagger, and bow with a quiverful of arrows. Lillian was already putting her enchanted black leather armor on, dual scimitars strapped to her back in an ‘X’.

Once the both of them were suited up, Lillian and Emily raced from the room and towards the Tavern.