Interview #2 InkSpotlight Artist: Gabe Peterson [Full Text Transcript] (Patreon)

Check out the fully designed magazine version here.

Hard-edged and unflinchingly direct, Gabriel Peterson is an open book… With a few hidden compartments. Though he was a former student at Sugardale, Gabe has found his footing outside of the Sugardale University gates. His tumultuous relationship with Blair is only one aspect of his intriguing history.

This was only the second interview in the series, and it was infinitely easier to arrange than the first. Though there were some truths that needed to be stretched, our subject was much more forth-coming with his answers, (maybe a little too-forthcoming with his opinions) and thus, extreme measures were not taken to secure this exclusive interview. He is not yet a household name, but his taunting charisma, striking looks and musical prowess are guaranteed to set him on the path to becoming a rock legend.

PRETTY INK: Gabe! It’s so good to see you, thank you for taking the time to sit down and do this interview!

GABRIEL PETERSON: Thanks for having me… I know you’re here to interview me, but I gotta ask, is your magazine new? I hadn’t ever heard of it, and I follow a lot of music publications-

INK: Yeah, we’re really new, only one issue out, but we don’t print in Sugardale.

PETERSON: You don’t print in Sugardale but your headquartered here?

INK: Uh, yeah, logistics, you know… Anyways, I think we should dive right in!

PETERSON: Yeah, let’s do that…

INK: So, you’re our very first Local Artist InkSpotlight interview. How do you feel about that?

PETERSON: Surprised, honestly. Not to be rude, but I’d never heard of Inkspot before. When you reached out, I was super stoked to hear you guys are doing your part to help revive the local music scene. It’s something I’m super passionate about and wanna support any way that I can.

INK: I can tell! I guess that’s a great place to start actually, tell me, how long have you been living in Sugardale?

PETERSON: My whole life, so… 20 years? Fuck, sounds kinda sad when I say that out loud, haha.

INK: Why’s that?

PETERSON: Being stuck in the same town for 20 years doesn’t sound sad to you?

INK: Only if you really didn’t wanna be there… I’m assuming you didn’t imagine this is where you’d be by this point in your life?

PETERSON: Uh… I guess… not?

INK: Where did you see yourself?

PETERSON: Shit… I don’t know… I thought this was more of a music interview? I didn’t realize we’d be getting into-

INK: Things that require you to be emotionally vulnerable?

PETERSON: Uh…

INK: Come on, it’s just a little question, it’s not like I’m asking you to gag me or something.

PETERSON: That… is oddly specific?

INK: It just came to me in the moment. Don’t think about it. Listen, our readers are looking to connect beyond the surface level with our InkSpotlight musicians. That requires getting to know them on a deeper level than just favorite guitar pedals and songs… We really want to print this to spread the word, but there’s no point if there’s not any real heart in it.

PETERSON: Alright… Sure.

INK: So, where did you see yourself at this point in life?

PETERSON: Depends. When I was a kid, I thought I’d be like my dad. When I was a teenager, I thought I’d still be in college at this point.

INK: Ah, yes, you dropped out of Sugardale, right?

PETERSON: How’d you know that?

INK: We do a lot of research on our interviewees before having them in.

PETERSON: We? This building was completely empty when I got in here, except for that bartender from BeeSpit who looked like he was gonna kill me…

INK: Everyone’s out on vacation… and Bernie’s just throwing a fit, don’t worry about him.

PETERSON: A fit, huh? Why’s that?

INK: He’s usually present for these interviews, but I sent him away for this one.

PETERSON: Because?

INK: ... Reasons. We’re very off base here. I’d like to know more about your university experience.

PETERSON: My college experience was bullshit.

INK: Because?

PETERSON: … I don’t wanna be that guy, but college is overpriced and a shell of what it used to be. It used to be a place you go if you were really into reading and research and were passionate about learning about something specific… Now it’s a glorified summer camp for kids who wanna binge-drink and party for four years. Then you get spit out into the real world, you’re in debt and you’re told you have to be a functioning member of society and support yourself when you lost 4 years and have no real foundation. It’s fucked.

INK: That’s a pretty pessimistic outlook on it… Your GPA was pretty high while you were there though.

PETERSON: How do you know-

INK: They publish the Dean’s list every semester on the Sugardale site.

PETERSON: Okay… Yeah, I was good at regurgitating useless info. Doesn’t mean I should waste the next four years of my life doing it.

INK: That’s fair… So, why did you specifically drop out?

PETERSON: …Pressure.

INK: From your parents?

PETERSON: Ha! That would be fucking rich. No… Just… Pressure. I don’t like feeling like everything’s high stakes. You can’t think straight when you feel like every decision is life or death.

INK: And this pressure came from yourself?

PETERSON: Part of it was from me, some of it was from… Others. Some of it was from the environment. I just saw some patterns in myself I didn’t wanna repeat, so I got myself out of there.

INK: If you would have stayed what would you have majored in?

PETERSON: Music Engineering Tech, maybe a minor in Psych or Creative Writing, I dunno… How’d we get on the topic of school? Shouldn’t we…?

INK: Right, yes. Of course… Was there a specific event or moment in your life that lit the spark for your love of music? If so, could you describe that moment?

PETERSON: Yeah… When I was like 10, one of my best friends, Denny —he’s the bassist for BPPM-

INK: BPPM?

PETERSON: Oh yeah, my band, Blueprint: Postmortem.

INK: Got it. Sorry, continue!

PETERSON: No problem. So, Denny was having a really shit day. Even 10 years later, I’d never seen him cry, except for this one time.

Anyways, I’d been messing around with this guitar I’d found and showed him how to play the opening chords to our favorite Sharpshooter Days song. I was a kid; I didn’t know how to deal with other people crying and feeling like shit. But I knew I felt so… different when I played guitar and showing him how to do it helped me realize that it’s not just a fun hobby, it can heal.

INK: That’s so sweet… So your friend, Denny cheered up pretty quickly after that, I’m assuming?

PETERSON: Yeah, it distracted him and brought him somewhere else… I think most people just hear music… But I feel it. I go there. It’s a destination, and I’d fucking live there if I could.

INK: Sounds like a pretty formative memory… What was your childhood like?

PETERSON: I’m not answering that.

INK: Fair enough, I doubt anyone would wanna get into all of that…

PETERSON: You’re talking as if you already know.

INK: Well, yeah. I mean, no. Just making an assumption-

PETERSON: You’re assuming I had a shitty childhood?

INK: No! No, I’m not assuming, I just- er- ... Man, you really know how to get a girl flustered, huh?

PETERSON: You don’t know the half of it…

INK: Ehem. Okay, how about this one: If you could give any advice to your younger self, what would it be?

PETERSON: Don’t rely on others. You can do it yourself.

INK: That’s really black and white don’t you think?

PETERSON: It’s true. No one’s ever gonna have your best interests at heart but yourself. Better to learn that lesson sooner rather than later.

INK: No one? I mean, don’t you have any siblings or relatives besides your parents?

PETERSON: Nope. And to the extent that I do have relatives, they sure as shit haven’t made any appearances.

INK: So, it was just you and your parents growing up?

PETERSON: I know what you’re doing.

INK: What am I doing?

PETERSON: Asking me these softball questions about my past so I fuck up and tell you something about my childhood since I wouldn’t answer it directly before.

INK: Oh, you’re good.

PETERSON: So I’ve been told… Though under different circumstances.

INK: [mumbles] Oh, I know you have…

PETERSON: What was that?

INK: Nothing. Uh… So, how did your parents meet?

PETERSON: I have no fucking clue… Probably at their high school, that’s when Tracy got knocked up with me so…

INK: If you could start your life over again, would you?

PETERSON: Like from birth? I don’t know, probably not.

INK: Do you have any regrets?

PETERSON: No. To say that I did would be a really shitty way to disregard everything I’ve ever overcome, and I can’t do that. I wouldn’t be who I am today without the mistakes I’ve made in the past.

INK: Well said…

PETERSON: I’m sure it is… Now do you need more ‘emotionally vulnerable’ soundbites for the interview, or can we move on to actually talking about music?

INK: [mumbles] Temper, temper…

INK: Okay, what kind of music are you into?

PETERSON: Mostly Post hardcore, Progressive, and Classical. But I’ve liked some Indie… Some trap-rock stuffs been pretty cool too lately…

INK: Classical? Really?

PETERSON: Yeah, Debussy’s one of my favorite composers. It’s a change of pace from the heavier stuff.

INK: Do you have a favorite song at the moment?

PETERSON: Lately, I’ve had Ego Death by Monophia on repeat.

INK: Very cool band, I know they’ve been pretty experimental in the scene with the collabs they’ve been doing.

PETERSON: Yeah, it’s sick seeing the genre being pushed to its limits and played around with. Keeps things fresh, because it’s so easy to play the same chord progressions and scream the same sad or angry emo lyrics into a mic. It gets old fast.

INK: Speaking of lyrics, could you share some from one of your songs?

PETERSON: Ah fuck, haha, I don’t know about that…

INK: What? Its music related!

PETERSON: Yeah but hearing me just say the lyrics instead of perform them will probably make it sound super cringe.

INK: You’re a musician, Gabe I think you’re gonna have to get used to talking about your lyrics without a whole band performance. I mean, come on. You wanted to talk about music-

PETERSON: I didn’t realize I’d be interviewed by such a mouthy reporter.

INK: I’m only mouthy in the ways that count. Now, could you please share some lyrics? I’m sure your bandmates wouldn’t be too happy to hear you passing up on a chance to showcase some music for free-

PETERSON: Fuck, okay, okay… Uh, I’m still working on this one, but this is from a song I’m writing, called ThroneAway:

Yeah, you still haunt me

You don’t want anyone but me babe

Especially not yourself

Well come and get it

Take your sedative

Crown your king

I don’t chase

Come kiss the ring

Can’t save face

I’m one throne away

From being thrown away

One throne away

From being thrown away

INK: Nice! I see some kinda clever wordplay there… What’s this song about?

PETERSON: Not sure yet, sometimes lyrics just come to me and I wanna play with an idea. I often don’t realize what they’re about until we’re actually playing, and it’s all come together…

INK: Interesting… Now when it comes to your band, do you write all the songs?

PETERSON: Yeah, It’s mainly me. Denny, Seth, and Greg of course contribute, but I’m usually the main writer.

INK: And do you have a specific artist that you draw your inspiration from when writing?

PETERSON: Not really. I listen to a lot of music, and I look up to a lot of guys and bands… But when I’m writing I don’t want to focus too much on trying to sound like any particular person. I’m more focused on a feeling or painting a picture, you know?

INK: Makes sense, like you said before, it’s a destination for you.

PETERSON: Right.

INK: Do you sell drugs?

PETERSON: What the fuck?

INK: Oops, I must have gotten my cards mixed up, uh… What kind of guitar do you have and what color is it?

PETERSON: Is that a serious question?

INK: What? Your guitar type?

PETERSON: Uh, no, asking me if I sell drugs.

INK: Why would I ask you something like that? That’s super intrusive and totally off topic. Especially for a prestigious music magazine interview.

PETERSON: Prestigious? I thought you said this was a new publication.

INK: … Semantics… Please, tell us about your guitar!

PETERSON: Uh… Okay… I’ve got a black Ibanez Superstrat, but for acoustic I play a black sunburst dreadnought.

INK: How’d you land on those?

PETERSON: I just like the look of my dreadnought, honestly. But the Ibanez has a really comfortable neck, the actions super smooth and has 24 frets so it’s great for bending high notes.

INK: I wish I knew what any of that meant, but sounds like you know what you’re doing, so that’s great… Now, I’d like to switch gears and talk about the Pinkvibe... We don’t know the fate of that historic venue, but in the event that we can spread the word about it, could you share a little about what Pinkvibe means to you?

PETERSON: It’s… Really like a second home to me. I know that place has a really bad rap, but it really wasn’t always like that. It was a place you could go and find a family. You could get lost in the music played there and discover new shit and not have to worry about what happened outside of those walls. It’s fucked, what it’s turned into, but I really hope more people realize it did so much good for Sugardale, for those who had nowhere else to go.

INK: …Like yourself?

PETERSON: You’re still trying to get those emotional soundbites, huh?

INK: Well, not entirely, but that does beg the question… What happened to make you close yourself off emotionally?

PETERSON: There’s no way thats a real question…

INK: Read it and weep, emoboy. It’s right here on my index card.

PETERSON: … What kind of interview is this?

INK: Do you really want me to tell you?

PETERSON: Yeah, that’s why I asked.

INK: You’re gonna think I’m out of my mind.

PETERSON: I already do.

INK: You’re a character in a video game I created. I made you, this place, and everyone you’ve ever interacted with since you could ever remember. This interview is just a compilation of the 172 questions players of the video game wanted me to ask you for a fictional magazine.

PETERSON: Very funny.

INK: Yeah, I figured you wouldn’t buy that. That would just be absurd, right?

PETERSON: It would. If it were true, and you ‘created me’ why would you waste your time asking me anything. You already know all the answers.

INK: You know, that’s a really good point. I could just ask you a string of questions and then answer every single one of them correctly.

PETERSON: Right-

INK: If any of this were true, I’d be able to ask you what your favorite cafe drink is and know the answer is brewed coffee with a double shot of espresso poured over top.

PETERSON: What-

INK: Or I could ask what your favorite color is and know it’s Cerulean. Or I could start to get a liiiitle more personal and ask about the meaning behind your tattoos and know that most of your right arm is blacked out because of the shitty tattoos Denny did when he managed to get his hands on a tattoo gun at 13. Everything else you got was just to match the aesthetic.

PETERSON: What… the… fuck…

INK: Your middle name is Evan, your favorite animal is the narwhal, your parents’ names are Tracy and Marshall, your pet peeve is people who chew too loudly and a normal Saturday night for you consists of hitting your vape religiously to take off the edge while your bandmates get wasted, and you try to fight the urge not to-

PETERSON: Who the fuck are you?

INK: Does it really matter Gabe? I’m right. About everything, and now you’re trying to figure a way out of here, but you haven’t realized in the time it took me to drop that truth bomb, your hands and legs have been tied to the chair you’re in.

PETERSON: When did you- How did you-

INK: I borrowed a few restraints from under your bed, I hope you don’t mind.

PETERSON: This is so fucked, this is so fucked! Let me out-

INK: We’re barely halfway through this thing, kitten. You’re in here for the long haul. But I promise you, if you answer everything truthfully and without any more hassle, I might be able to pull a few strings and get that whole Pinkvibe situation sorted out for you.

PETERSON: And how do I know you’re not lying?

INK: Ooh, I forgot I made you smart. Haha, you’re right, you have no way of knowing if I’ll keep to my word, but I guess there’s only one way to really find out.

PETERSON: …You’re sick.

INK: Don’t act like you’re not a little turned on by this whole thing. How does it feel being restrained for once, Mr. Peterson?

PETERSON: …

INK: I’ll let that one stay unanswered. We have much more interesting questions that need answering, like what scares you?

PETERSON: …

INK: Still not playing ball?

PETERSON: What are you doing?

INK: Oh, just jotting down a few notes here for the next version of the game.. Let’s see… Make sure Pinkvibe stays permanently closed-

PETERSON: Christ! Okay, fine! I’m… I’m scared of being abandoned.

INK: There it is. Feel any better getting that off your chest?

PETERSON: Considering this will be printed for the world to see, no. Not at all.

INK: Don’t worry, your world will be none-the-wiser. You might as well be speaking into the void.

PETERSON: I’m sure that would be way more pleasant.

INK: Okay smart ass, here’s a fun one: Have you ever been bitten by a fish?

PETERSON: … No.

INK: What’s your opinion on frat boys?

PETERSON: Most of them are idiots and the ones that aren’t are really fucking depressed.

INK: You know a few that fall in the latter category?

PETERSON: I know one.

INK: That makes two of us… Are you aware of any of your red flags, if you have any?

PETERSON: I’m a walking red flag, so yes, painfully aware.

INK: Oh, don’t be so down on yourself. You’ve got some green in you.

PETERSON: That’s news to me.

INK: We’ll work on that self-esteem, don’t worry.

PETERSON: Jesus Christ…

INK: Do you believe in second chances?

PETERSON: As long as it’s the second chance and not the third, fourth, tenth, sure… Most of the time I do.

INK: What will it take to gain your trust?

PETERSON: Clearly not much if you managed to get me here and tied up like this.

INK: Fair point. You were so much easier to get here than Jay. Plus, you provided your own restraints, which made logistics so much easier-

PETERSON: What?

INK: Do you plan on working at Sweetbean forever?

PETERSON: Are you fucking serious? No. Of course not.

INK: What are your life goals?

PETERSON: I dunno, I haven’t really thought too far ahead, I just need to take it day by day, minute by minute.

INK: And I get why you need to do that, but let’s just talk big picture.

PETERSON: Uh… fine, big picture… I wanna tour with my band, maybe make a comfortable living between doing shows and repairing guitars or something… Having my own apartment would be nice. I really don’t need much.

INK: Would you want to move to New Ambrosia or Caramel Bay?

PETERSON: Probably not, I’m not a big city guy. I don’t know where I’d go, but I’d be cool with a small studio in a quiet town.

INK: Do you ever want kids?

PETERSON: No.

INK: Care to elaborate on that one?

PETERSON: Care to ask me literally anything else?

INK: Anything else? Okay, fine, did you love Blair?

PETERSON: Holy shit, okay, anything but that.

INK: Gabe, kitten, you’re really gonna let a few little stupid questions about your ex get in the way of Pinkvibe reopening?

PETERSON: Yes. If it means I don’t have to rehash that shit show, absolutely.

INK: Ugh, I really thought I wouldn’t need him for this one…

PETERSON: What are you doing?

INK: Calling my 6’4, 340lb muscleman so he can intimidate you into answering these questions.

PETERSON: Seriously?

INK: I won’t call him if you just answer the questions, Gabe.

PETERSON: You know how fucked that whole relationship was, why are you making me talk about it?

INK: I’m not, the players are. I’d be just as happy writing about how you’d rail me 6 ways to Sunday, but that’s not the content they really signed up for.

PETERSON: I’d much rather rail you than answer these questions.

INK: Somehow that sounds like an insult…

PETERSON: It is.

INK: Okay, enough stalling. Spill. Did you love Blair?

PETERSON: …Yes. For a little while I did.

INK: How’d you guys start dating? What made you attracted to her?

PETERSON: Fuck, do I really-?

INK: Come on, we’re not even at the worst of it yet.

PETERSON: We met in my freshman Women’s Lit seminar. I thought she was gorgeous, and when she was in class, she was constantly schooling our prof on shit he frankly should’ve known for a Women’s Lit professor.

I liked that she was smart and didn’t take any bullshit from people, even if they were supposed to be the “expert” on things.

I’m not a shy guy, so I talked to her one day after class, and told her all that. We fell into it really fast, and I don’t think it was even 2 weeks before she considered me her boyfriend.

INK: Yeah, 2 weeks into classes, that’s pretty fast…

PETERSON: If anything you’re saying is true, you’re the one who made it that way. So, fuck you very much for that one…

INK: You know what, that’s totally valid. I’ll take that. Sorry… Did you cheat on Blair?

PETERSON: I would never.

INK: Why did you and her break up?

PETERSON: We just… Weren’t right for each other. She brought out the worst in me and I brought out the worst in her.

INK: So, it wasn’t because she was “too vanilla”?

PETERSON: No… Fuck, I said that to her once when I was…

INK: Trying to hurt her?

PETERSON: Yeah, I was trying to hurt her in the same way she’d hurt me…

When you fall that hard and fast for someone, you wanna consume every drop of them that you can, and so you absorb it all. Their insecurities, their likes, their dislikes, what they dream about, what scares the shit outta them and…

If you’re meant to be, you won’t ever use that against each other. You’ll use that to help each other grow and get better. But we were and still are incredibly fucked up people and when shit got bad, we would really hit each other where it hurt.

INK: Do you think you’re capable of love after Blair?

PETERSON: … I don’t know. I feel like I’m not, but I guess since I’m talking to you, you’d know the answer… Am I?

INK: You are. I know you’re still going through it, but I think you learned a lot about what you don’t want in future relationships, and you kicked a few habits that could’ve really put you on a bad path.

PETERSON: Yeah, no shit.

INK: Would you be open for a relationship anytime soon?

PETERSON: Depends, what kinda relationship are you talking?

INK: I think we both know you have no problem with the no-strings-attached model. I’m talking more romantic, you know… dating?

PETERSON: I don’t think so.

INK: Not you lying to your creator’s face…

PETERSON: Oh, come on, what’s the fucking point?

INK: Entertainment value, kitten. You won’t admit it, but I know for a fact you’d be totally down if a special girl came into your life, and you felt like you couldn’t breathe again.

PETERSON: …

INK: Would you like it if your girlfriend had your name tatted on her?

PETERSON: In theory, sure, that sounds hot as fuck, but if I had a girlfriend and she legit did that I’d probably be scared shitless.

INK: Would you break up with her over that?

PETERSON: Depends, but I’d probably start thinking about it.

INK: What would cause you to end a relationship with someone?

PETERSON: I don’t think there’s just any one thing… But if I’m dreading the fact that I’ll have to see them again, and more excited about the fact that they’re leaving, I know I should end things, like, immediately.

INK: I think that’s definitely a good rule of thumb, haha… If you could give your ex one piece of advice she couldn’t ignore, what would you tell her?

PETERSON: Don’t lose yourself, cause if you do, there’s nothing else you can give, and it gets really hard for people to love someone who’s not there anymore.

INK: Is this advice for just Blair? Or is this also meant for Tr-

PETERSON: Don’t even go there-

INK: Ooh, I love when you use that tone of voice with me, say it again.

PETERSON: …

INK: Okay, fine, who did you lose your virginity to and why was it Patricia Danish?

PETERSON: Not everything needs to be talked about, you know.

INK: When it comes to this interview, I’m afraid that’s just not true… Now let’s talk about you and Trish-

PETERSON: Let’s not and say we did.

INK: You know what? Fine. I’ll let you have that one, but only if you tell me what you find most attractive about a girl?

PETERSON: Well, that’s easy. I like confidence, I like girls who are outspoken and don’t just follow along with what everyone else thinks or does.

INK: Ah, so girls who don’t exactly follow the rules… Girls that are… a little bratty?

PETERSON: That’s different.

INK: Elaborate.

PETERSON: If we’re taking strictly personality, I’m into girls that can stand their ground, if we’re talking the bedroom, I have a lot more fun with good girls.

INK: Mhm… and what’s something a girl does that drives you wild?

PETERSON: You asking for the interview or for yourself?

INK: …Both?

PETERSON: [chuckles] I’m really into it when a girl puts her hair in a ponytail. Especially if it’s high up.

INK: No wonder you fell so hard for Blair.

PETERSON: When I met her, she kept her hair down in braids. She didn’t start wearing ponytails until I told her how much I liked them…

INK: Seems like such a specific thing to set you off though…

PETERSON: I like something to hold on to, what can I say?

INK: Do you like it when a girl’s possessive over you?

PETERSON: I think it’s cute, sure.

INK: Biggest turn off?

PETERSON: Being told what to do.

INK: What are your non-negotiables?

PETERSON: Don’t talk to my parents, don’t do hard drugs, and don’t cheat.

INK: Don’t you do drugs?

PETERSON: …Not anymore. No.

INK: What are your thoughts around cheating?

PETERSON: Uh… Don’t do it? You want other people, let the other person go, no one deserves to be dragged into all that extra bullshit.

INK: So, are you more monogamous or polyamorous?

PETERSON: Monogamous.

INK: That’s all well and good, but I will say, Blair kinda alluded to you cheating when she blew up at you at Sweetbean that one day.

PETERSON: I never cheated on her.

INK: So, she was just saying that?

PETERSON: Yes and no… Toward the end, we’d get into arguments, and she’d accuse me of shit I never did. I’d get pissed, so after a while I just let her believe whatever she wanted. It was shitty to do, but I was fucking exhausted by that point…

INK: Well, hey, it’s over now right? Time to look to brighter future when it comes to love… How would you define love?

PETERSON: Ugh, again with this mushy shit… I can answer all the sex questions you want, can we just not -?

INK: Gabe. Come on.

PETERSON: … Love is… It’s like… No hesitation. You’re not scared or worried about saying the wrong thing or looking weird or embarrassing yourself in front of the person who loves you. Cause they just accept you. They meet you where you’re at and you do the same for them and then you move forward and grow together. There’s no such thing as expectations when they come to you because you accept them as they are.

INK: Aww… Gabe…

PETERSON: Shut up.

INK: Okay, okay, one last mushy question… What does the perfect date look like to you?

PETERSON: I dunno… Might be cool to write a song together or something. Like, just spend the day vegging out at my place or her place and be left alone.

INK: Aw, Denny and the boys aren’t invited?

PETERSON: It’s a perfect date, so no, they can get lost, haha.

INK: Speaking of perfect dates, let’s talk about the new girl that’s made an appearance in your life… A certain ex’s best friend, if you will?

PETERSON: I thought you said we were done with the mushy shit.

INK: I didn’t even ask the question yet!

PETERSON: I’m not an idiot, I know exactly where this is going.

INK: Why did you pursue her? Was it to get back at Blair?

PETERSON: I’m not petty like that. And pursue is a strong word. She’s a pretty girl, I liked what I saw.

INK: Did you like what you saw when you were still with Blair?

PETERSON: Sure. You don’t suddenly go blind when you start dating someone. But I wasn’t gonna do anything about it. Keep that shit to yourself, you know?

INK: So, it doesn’t bother you that she’s your ex’s best friend?

PETERSON: I had nothing to do with that relationship, so why should it bother me?

INK: I dunno, most people would consider that a hard boundary.

PETERSON: Well, I don’t.

INK: Why are you so interested in her?

PETERSON: I dunno. I told you already, she’s cute.

INK: I don’t think that’s the exact wording you used when you saw her at the cafe…

PETERSON: I think this would be a lot less painful if you just interviewed yourself at this point.

INK: I guess that’s already technically happening when you think about it but-

PETERSON: Great, let me out of here.

INK: Not yet, kitten… The players wanna know why you’re so into her… I think you have a few lyrics scribbled on this Sweetbean napkin here… ehem- Bright eyes, thick thighs-

PETERSON: I already did the lyric thing, come on.

INK: These ones are a lot more interesting… Either you read them, or I do.

PETERSON: …

Bright eyes, thick thighs.

I’ll sigh in the limelight

If it means another breath

My chest is too fucking light

I thought I’d never feel it again.

INK: Yeah, way better than calling someone ‘cute’.

PETERSON: [mumbles]

INK: Indulge me a moment, won’t you Gabriel? Let’s imagine you and her are hanging out a lot and it’s pretty serious but you aren’t exclusively dating yet… Would you mind it if she saw other people?

PETERSON: If her and I were hanging out that much I’d talk to her about making it exclusive.

INK: Because…?

PETERSON: Cause if we’re really as serious as you say we are, then I should be the only one fucking her.

INK: How eloquently put… So, would you get jealous easily?

PETERSON: Yes.

INK: How would you react to someone flirting with her in front of-

PETERSON: I don’t even want to think about it. Next question.

INK: Oh, so temperamental, I love it… Okay, fine. We’ll end with some fun ones for you, how about that?

PETERSON: I have a feeling our definition of ‘fun’ is very different…

INK: How do you feel about pegging?

PETERSON: Yeeeeah… We have VERY different definitions… I’m not into pegging.

INK: Hey, it’s not my cuppa tea, the players wanted to know.

PETERSON: Yeah, sure.

INK: It was asked 3 different times, I swear!

PETERSON: Uhuh…

INK: Leather, Lace or Latex?

PETERSON: Leather and Lace.

INK: Sir, Master, or Daddy?

PETERSON: Sir, but I’d be happy with Daddy.

INK: Briefs, boxer briefs, boxers, or commando?

PETERSON: Boxer briefs.

INK: Well, let’s not forget you had a commando phase for like-

PETERSON: A week, sure. But it’s way less comfortable than you’d think. Not into it.

INK: Sex toys?

PETERSON: I love them.

INK: Any in particular that you love the most?

PETERSON: Funny enough, the ones you have me in, just not when they’re fucking used on me.

INK: I thought you’d appreciate the detail.

PETERSON: I don’t.

INK: Well, I also brought your second favorite… I wanted to use that too, but something tells me you’d object.

PETERSON: What? The flogger? Yeah, there’s no way in hell.

INK: Can’t knock a girl for trying… Let’s see, weirdest kink?

PETERSON: I don’t think any of my kinks are weird… I like dirty talk, I like fucking in front of mirrors, I like girls in stockings, list goes on… But I wouldn’t consider any of them weird. I like what I like…

INK: Of your kinks, which would you say is your favorite?

PETERSON: I really like leaving marks all over her… So I guess that?

INK: You sure we can’t use the flogger just once? Maybe as a demonstration?

PETERSON: I don’t play with girls who lie and kidnap me… So no, you’re out of your fuckin mind.

INK: Damn, so close…

PETERSON: You’re lucky I’m even answering your questions, to be honest. At least I get something out of it.

INK: And what’s that?

PETERSON: Talking about something you can’t have… I can spend all day talking about my sex life if it means I can tease you about not ever having a chance to experience it.

INK: Okay, that’s just cruel.

PETERSON: Says the one who pretended to be a music journalist to lure me here…

INK: Whatever… Call it even. Someone wants to know if you eat the box?

PETERSON: Oh yeah I do, I like to take my time with it too, I-

INK: OKAY.

PETERSON: You don’t wanna hear more? I can really get into detail-

INK: That’s not necessary, thank you. [sigh] Craziest place you’ve had sex?

PETERSON: It’s definitely a toss up between an art museum exhibit and on a professors desk after class.

INK: How’d you manage to not get caught?

PETERSON: Who said I didn’t get caught?

INK: Both times?!

PETERSON: With the desk, no. I locked the door to the lecture hall cause I was asked. Though I thought it woulda been more fun if we didn’t. The exhibit though? Yeah, definitely got caught, almost went to jail, I just got fuckin’ lucky.

INK: Yeah, no kidding… Have any sexual limits?

PETERSON: Uh… No shit, piss or kissing.

INK: One of those things is certainly not like the other.

PETERSON: I’m not getting into it.

INK: You’re no fun… Favorite position?

PETERSON: Well that’s a hard one, there’s so many… But probably if we’re both kneeling and I can take her from behind, sink my teeth into her neck, pinch her nipples-

INK: Okay, I think we get it.

PETERSON: Do you? I don’t think you’ve had enough.

INK: Okay, fine, you wanna get into detail about stuff? How about you answer this then, have you ever been with a more dominant woman before? Did you like it?

PETERSON: …

INK: Oh, you’re awfully quiet all of a sudden.

PETERSON: It was once, never again. Next question.

INK: No, no, no. You were so eager to share before, I think it’s only fair-

PETERSON: Next question.

INK: Have you ever fantasized about your ex’s best friend?

PETERSON: … Sure, a few times.

INK: Yeah, you’re being modest with that estimate.

PETERSON: I figured you’d want me to spare you the details.

INK: Likely story… What was going through your head when you noticed her watching you and Blair?

PETERSON: I couldn’t tell you. It just turned me the fuck on.

INK: Did you wish it were her instead of Blair?

PETERSON: Maybe… Yeah.

INK: How big is your dick?

PETERSON: Does it kill you knowing the answer and also knowing you’ll never be able to see it yourself?

INK: Ha. Ha. You’re so funny… For the audience reading along at home, it’s 7 inches on a good day.

PETERSON: I must have a lot of good days then..

INK: Oh, don’t flatter yourself… Are you into feet?

PETERSON: Ha! No but I know someone who is, I’ll get you his number.

INK: I already have it, thanks… Do you cuddle after sex?

PETERSON: Depends…

INK: On?

PETERSON: Her. Me. What we are. All kinds of shit.

INK: And you almost had me fooled about you being a romantic.

PETERSON: It’s more fun to keep you guessing.

INK: Okay, I’ve had just about enough of you, so I’ll end this thing with one last question.

PETERSON: Finally...

INK: An anonymous source, let’s call them “Beckie”, is going around telling the girls interested in you on campus, that you’re terrible in bed and have a hair trigger. Care to address this?

PETERSON: [laughs] Okay Beckie.

INK: I’m not Beckie.

PETERSON: Oh yeah? Well if you’re not her, why don’t you tell Beckie she can come and see if those things are really true herself.

INK: Okay and if I am Becky?

PETERSON: I’d tell you to get fucked, but not by me cause you blew your chance the second you lured me into this place.

INK: Okay, you know what? I think we’re done here.

PETERSON: About fucking time.

INK: Bernie’s outside he’ll take care of you.

PETERSON: What do you mean take care-?

INK: Bernie! You can come out now!

BERNIE: That wasn’t very easy to sit through, Ms. Pretty.

INK: I know, I know… I thought things would end differently, but clearly I’ve gotta work on my game. He’s a tough nut to crack.

PETERSON: Whoa, where the hell did he come from?

BERNIE: None of your business string bean. You’re coming with me!

PETERSON: Whoa, what the fuck?! Wait-!

INK: Even though you are an absolute piece of work, Gabe, I have to thank you for joining me for this interview. You were stubborn and as emotionally stunted as a rag doll, but I’m glad we were able to find some good insights into who you are and why you’re such a pain in my ass. After you have a little chat with Bernie you should be safely deposited in your room, and you won’t remember a damn thing. Have a safe trip back to your universe, and Bernie, please, go easy on him.

_

And thus concluded my hours long interview with Gabe Peterson. In my burgeoning career as a journalist, I’ve learned that not all participants are very willing to answer the hard hitting questions… But I guess that’s what emotional manipulation and physical intimidation are for…

Thank you to all who have read this interview, and until next time!

Pretty Ink