The Regression Virus (Part 5) (Patreon)
Content
Part 5 = After the day my friends came to say their goodbyes, which was also the day my Mom put me into real diapers for the first time, I knew that it was only a matter of time before my body reached its final stages, which it did within two more weeks.
Before long, my body became more infantile that toddler. The little bladder and bowel control that remained was lost completely and there was no point in my family even trying to potty train me anymore. My body would constantly empty its bladder and bowels the moment I felt even the slightest hint of needing to go. Normally I wouldn’t even have really realized that my body had gone until someone pulled out the back of my pants, or lifted my skirt, or decided to investigate a mysterious stinky smell.
Even if I was to magically recover completely and wake up one day fully cured, I’m not sure I could ever forget the experience of getting “used to” pooping myself as a 25 year old woman.
Before long I also lost my ability to walk and talk completely too. At first I would just start babbling more often and more of my words would become simple lisping and broken words until at some point my mouth just kinda stopped forming cohesive things altogether. I think at this point it’s been at least two full months since I have said anything even remotely intelligent.
Just like my speech, my ability to walk wasn’t far behind. My steps quickly became more and more jumbled and clumsy and before very long I was starting to fall constantly and any step I did manage to take was a wobbly dangerous looking mess as I waddled from point A to point B. After a little while my body found itself to be steadier on the ground, and in seemingly the blink of an eye my body never tried to stand up again no matter how desperately my mind tried to urge it to do so.
My family coped with my condition as best as they could. They dealt with it just about as I was trapped inside my own mind with nothing but my thoughts. It took a while, but soon they decided that no matter what, life had to go on. Even though on the outside I still looked like the same young woman that I always was, we all knew by now that I would never be the same again. My entire family, for their own sake as well as mine, stopped trying to treat me like a grown-up who was sick and just started treating me like the infant I had become. I think the best coping mechanism they could come up with was partly trying to forget about who I used to be and just treat me like the baby I was now. I can’t say I totally blame them.
Soothing me when I cried, playing with me, and putting me down for naps, and constant diaper checks and diaper changes every day.
One day I got a harsh reminder to not only my new status, but also of what I had lost. I was at the grocery store with my Mother, sitting in the front of the cart. A few people gave us weird glances, but most were pretty quick to look away. Some even gave my Mother sympathetic glances. After all, seeing victims of the virus out and about was a rare occurrence, but it still happened often enough that an etiquette had grown around what to do.
My Mother was picking between what kinds of tomato sauce she wanted to buy when I heard a voice that sounded incredibly familiar, but one I hadn’t heard in a while, “Natalie? Oh darling is that you?”
Even in my infantile state, my face was drawn towards the familiar voice and I turned to see Mrs. Alvarez standing there. She was the principal of the school I used to work at. She was my old boss. My body didn’t react much other than giggling and gurgling at her, but it was a cruel reminder of just how far I’d fallen in so little time. Not to mention the fact that my diaper was soaked underneath the overalls I was wearing.
My Mother kindly greeted Mrs. Alvarez and the two women chatted for a little bit, mostly about how I had been doing, not that she really needed to ask. She told my Mother how they had after a while found a permanent replacement first grade teacher.
I wanted to scream or cry or do anything at all to communicate with Mrs. Alvarez. I begged the world that this was just a nightmare. I wanted to show Mrs. Alvarez that this wasn’t who I really was. I wasn’t a pamper pusher! I was a teacher! A grown woman!
But of course I could say nothing, and soon enough my Mother waved her goodbye. Mrs. Alvarez gave me one last saddened look over her shoulder before turning away and getting back to her own shopping.
After my Mother paid for her items and took us and the groceries out to the car she reached inside of my overalls without a care and checked me, discovering how soaked my diaper was.
“Aww you’re totally wet sweetheart. Come on let’s get you changed now. We still have some errands to run before we go home.”
Knowing what was coming next, I steeled myself as my Mother opened the trunk of the family van and laid out a blanket, laying me down on top of it. She pulled my overalls down, then loosened my diaper and opened it up revealing how truly big of an accident I’d had. She pulled out wipes and started to clean me up.
A few awkward other shoppers walked by, but respectively tried their best not to look. In my mind I’m completely embarrassed... but none of that really matters anymore. This is my life now, and the baby I’ve become on the outside is who I’ll always be.
As my Mom unfolds a brand new Sesame Street diaper I know I have to try to forget about Mrs. Alvarez and just focus on my new life. As infantile and helpless as that new life is.
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This story was written by Zander Chesney
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