I'm the Babysitter Now (Patreon)

Morning! It’s time to wake up now sleepyhead… you said you’d drive me to the grocery store so we can get stuff for my sleepover tonight! My friends are coming over this afternoon, I want everything to be ready before they get here.

Ugh… Why are you taking so long? My parents said I could have them over as long as you’re here to make sure we don’t get in ‘’trouble’’ again. So hurry up, we don’t have that much time! Do I have to drag you out of bed?

Oh… my god. Why are you soaking wet? Did you take a shower or something, did… oh no, you didn’t! Did you… wet the bed?

Oh my gosh, you totally did! Look at this wet spot all over your pants, you peed yourself. I can’t believe this, it’s hilarious. Wait… wait… don’t move. I said don't move, I'm taking pictures!

My friends are not gonna believe this. Nuh-huh, I’m keeping those. They’ll be useful I’m sure. Now I have leverage against you, my little bedwetter. How did this even happen? Did you get drunk last night after I went to bed? All alone? What a loser…

And I’M supposed to be the one who needs a babysitter. All because I threw a little party last time my parents were out of town. They thought they’d pay you to watch over me while they’re gone… but turns out you’re the one who should be watched over. Isn’t that right, bedwetter?

I don’t want to hear one word from you. I have those pictures in my phone and I can do whatever I want with them. I can send them to your friends, post them on social media… or show my parents that while they were gone, you peed in their own bed.

So you listen to me. I’m gonna be the babysitter from now on. And whatever happens, you’re going to tell my parents how well behaved and mature I was. You’ll sing my praises and you’re going to tell them you don’t think I ever need a babysitter anymore. 

Oh, but that’s not all. That’s just what will happen when they come back. We have 3 more days together, remember? So we’ll start by making sure you don’t wet the bed again. What do you think? How mad do you think my parents would be if I told them you soaked their expensive egyptian sheets? I think you need to protect yourself.

It’s for your own good, really. You don’t want to wake up like this again. But I know what we’ll do: We will get you some Pull-Ups!

That’s right, like the ones little kids wear. I mean, wetting your bed is a more common problem for kids, wouldn’t you agree? So it requires an equally childish solution.

I bet there are some Pull-Ups big enough to fit you. As a matter of fact, I know for sure there are.

My friend Maddy used to wear them to bed when we were younger, they’re called Goodnites. You’ll see they’re exactly like Pull-Ups, but for bigger kids. She used to wet the bed just like you. Not anymore though. She’s coming over later, maybe I can ask her if she still has some of her old ones left over! Sure they’d be for girls, but what’s the difference, really? In this day and age, there’s no gendered products. You’d just be a boy in purple Pull-Ups! Nothing shameful about that.

In fact I bet you’d be much cuter in them. You can spend the whole evening with us! 

Aw, we can put your hair in little pigtails and I’ll let you borrow some of my old pajamas. Well you’ll want to cover up your diaper, won’t you? What’s better than purple PJs to hide your purple training pants? I have some with stars on it too, they’ll fit so well together.

I can already imagine you, crinkling around with your powdered butt, smelling like baby lotion. It’ll be just like having a little sister… or brother I mean. And we can all take turns checking you to make sure you didn’t have an accident. 

Oh I know you’ve just peed at night so far, but we can’t take any chances can we? I say we put you in your Pull-Ups and PJs right after dinner so you can be ready for bed. We’ll feed you lots of water, but I swear we’ll try to take you to the potty and slide your diaper down for you so you can use it like a big girl.

We don’t want to humiliate you, do we? It’ll just be like playing a game. We’ll be the babysitter and you’ll be our charge for the night. Like a living doll! 

Don’t you panic now little pouty boy… Remember the pictures I have. You just give me one night of fun and I’ll let you keep wetting yourself in peace. At least you’ll have your Pampers from now on, right? Don’t act like that wouldn’t have been useful last night, tinkle pants.

I don’t want to hear any more out of you or I swear we’re getting you a pacifier too, so we can keep you quiet. A pink one! Let’s add that to the list. What else? Should we get you a sippy cup? We’ll just go down the diaper aisle and grab a bunch of stuff. Wipes, cream, oil, powder… You can keep it afterwards for your little problem, don’t worry.

Should we get you actual diapers too? I’m not sure you’d fit into Pampers but we could try… Or some of the adult ones? With a big diaper on you wouldn’t be able to take it off and use the potty, you’d just have to go wherever you are and wait to be changed…. That’s kind of cute. 

But I do want to see you in the girls Goodnites… you kinda have that vibe. That bratty teenage girl who still wets her bed at night and needs Pull-Ups.

I should check if I still have my old school uniform somewhere! We can parade you around in the living room in different outfits to see which ones cover your diaper and which don’t! Like yoga pants, little pink dresses, my hello kitty PJ shorts… I just want to see you twirling around in your little girl Pull-Ups with a skirt. Do a little curtsy for my friends, blushing. You’ll be adorable!!

You’re blushing already! From the look on your face I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve just peed your pants again out of fear right now. Don’t worry, it won’t be so bad. It’s just a game, you’ll get over it. 

My friends all know you from when we were younger. Maddy used to have a crush on you, didn’t you know that? Well tonight that might change, because even if you’re able to resist having a little accident until bedtime, we both know you’re gonna wake up in wet Pull-Ups, crying like a little girl. Maybe she can be the one to comfort you. After all, she used to have the same problem, I bet she’ll understand. 

My other friends might tease you a bit more, though. They’ll want to make you a potty chart just to draw a frowny face on it when we check your diaper. 

Okay mister bedwetter, let’s get you out of those wet sheets, we have errands to run. 

Go take a shower and think about what will happen tonight. Imagine you’re wearing purple Pull-Ups, in girly PJs, listening to us gossip like teenagers. Imagine you’re the little sister trying to fit in with the big girls… but you’re not quite there. Maybe when you stop wetting the bed and wearing training pants, you’ll be more accepted. But for now you just listen and do as we say. 

Isn’t that so blissful? Just for the night, you won’t be in charge anymore, we will be your babysitters. And we’ll remind you of that every chance we get. By ordering you around, patting your Pull-Ups, asking you if you’re wet or if you need to go potty. 

I’ll ask Maddy ‘’can you check him? I bet he needs a change.’’ And she’ll slide down your pants in front of everyone and put her hand on your Pull-Ups to see if you pissed yourself. 

No more big boy responsibilities. Just waiting to be taken care of by a bunch of girls who are younger than you. Does that sound good? You can be part of the gang.

OR we can get you some thick diapers, make you sip on a bottle and keep a pacifier in your mouth all night if you don’t want to play along. Your choice.

For now I want you ready in 5 minutes, you’re driving us to the store and we’re picking up everything we need for tonight. Girls Goodnites, adult diapers, sippy cup, pacifier, powder and anything else we could need. 

Oh and you’re paying for everything, bedwetter. I’ll see you downstairs.

Special thanks to Begoodformommy for the picture!
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