Home
Artists
Search Recent Random
Posts
Search DMs Popular Hash Lookup Tags Random
Importer
Import FAQ
Register
Partychan Telegram ThePornDude
Home Artists Posts Import Register

STORMWEAVER 2 [CLEAN] - CHAPTERS 11-15 (Patreon)

Published:
2023-07-21 19:54:14
Imported:
2023-11
Tags:

Content

Here you go! Sorry for the delay!

*********

A few rules & reminders:

  • Chapters will be dropping 5 at time! They will drop Friday mornings until we're out of chapters!
  • These are supposed to be CLEAN chapters now. If you see any spelling errors or consistency errors, please feel free to shout them out and Bryce well get them tweaked. It's been through a reread and two editors now, though, so hopefully there aren't too many :/ Please note that we aren't asking about writing choices and the like. Only spelling and consistency errors! Thanks!

Comments

Adam

p. 2 "Setting aside the fact that that his second and third attempts" - can remove the extra "that" p.3 "Ordinarily they weren't allowed to speak" should have a comma after "Ordinarily". "Ordinarily, they weren't allowed to speak" p.3 "after another second's worth of warning glare the sub-instructor turned back" should have a comma after "glare". "after another second's worth of warning glare, the sub-instructor turned back" p.3 "No other cadet his age" - "No other" should be italicized, instead of just the word "No" since the emphasis is on how unique Rei is. p.3 "No other cadet his age, not in the entirety of the Intersystem Collective-had a CAD that had developed" should be a comma instead of a hyphen "No other cadet his age, not in the entirety of the Intersystem Collective, had a CAD that had developed" p.4 "His Device Growth spec". Device should be possessive, since the line is referring to the Growth spec of the Device. "His Device's Growth spec" p.4 "the platform had brought him down the projection plating again" should be "brought him down to the projection plating again" p.6 "Mind you the Defense test is a little different." should have a comma after "Mind you". "Mind you, the Defense test is a little different." p.6 "We can copy you easy enough there" should be "easily" instead of "easy". "We can copy you easily enough there." p.8 "by the time the Brawler left her ring the form of a woman" should have a comma after "ring". "by the time the Brawler left her ring, the form of a woman" p.8 "the form of a woman had pixilated" should be "pixelated" p.8 Possible continuity error - "plain black "F0" Rei knew would be marked on the projection's back." In Iron Prince, rankings are listed on both chest (second parameter test) and back (first parameter test) p.9 "breathing like the bellows" I think this should be "breathing like bellows" instead p.9 "what rank of opponent you manage to get to" should be "managed" p.9 "which was almost commendable given he had sandbagged the last parameter testing" should have a comma after "commendable". "which was almost commendable, given he had sandbagged the last parameter testing" p.10 "Like Emble he had eased up on the gas" should have a comma after Emble. "Like Emble, he had eased up on the gas" p.10 "Shido, though, had over 3 months of growth since then, include a big leap" should be "including". "Shido, though, had over 3 months of growth since then, including a big leap" p.10 "Viv and the rest of the combat team and Grandcrest Prep when they'd been in high school." Should be "at Grandcrest Prep". "Viv and the rest of the combat team at Grandcrest Prep" p.10 "The F0s fell in a flash, as did the F5s and both of the Es." Should this be "all four of the Es" since there are 2 E0 and 2 E5 opponents? p.10 "and C0s started to put up an actual fight" should be "and the C0s started to put up an actual fight" p.11 "Then again his distraction" should have a comma after "again". "Then again, his distraction" p.11 "He had a sense of the limits his Brawler Mode could take him" I think this should either be "He had a sense of the limits of his Brawler Mode" or "He had a sense of how far his Brawler Mode could take him". p.12 "Even over the sound and flurry of activity that was the other Type-groups taking part in their own testing all around them, he didn’t miss Bretz’s brow furrow slightly, nor Sense and Gisham perk up in anticipation from their circles." Should be "furrowing" and "perking" "Even over the sound and flurry of activity that was the other Type-groups taking part in their own testing all around them, he didn’t miss Bretz’s brow furrowing slightly, nor Sense and Gisham perking up in anticipation from their circles." p.13 "Even as Shido's CAD band dissolved". "Band" should be plural. "Even as Shido's CAD bands dissolved" p.13 "Initially this had been a source of alarm when he'd first developed Ability" should have a comma after "Initially" and "the Ability". "Initially, this had been a source of alarm when he'd first developed the Ability" p.14 "the Fs fell in short order, as did both of the Es and D0s". Same as my comment above, where it sounds like there are only two E-ranked opponents instead of four. Maybe "the Fs fell in short order, as did the Es and D0s" or something similar. p.14 "The C0 woman took a little, as did the man" It feels like a descriptor is missing in this line. Maybe "Took a little more work" or "more effort" ? p.14 "As the cutting sweeps of his blade drove the woman back there was always a moment" should have a comma after "back". "As the cutting sweeps of his blade drove the woman back, there was always a moment." p.15 "To the credit of the combat program the B0" should have a comma after "program". "To the credit of the combat program, the B0 still managed" p.16 "Still, on the whole the entire experiment was an absolute success" should have a comma after "whole". "Still, on the whole, the entire experiment was an absolute success." p.17 "he let Shido take the standard Brawler it always started as." Should this be "Brawler Mode" or "Brawler-form" ? p.18 "The grey projection flicked and vanished" Should this be "flickered" ? p.18 "Truthfully he wasn't really sure" should have a comma after "Truthfully". "Truthfully, he wasn't really sure" p.20 "done so not only under Bretz's scrutiny, but that of Valera Dent's as well." Should be "Dent". "that of Valera Dent as well" p.21 "Unsurprisingly everyone but the Duelists" should have a comma after "Unsurprisingly". "Unsurprisingly, everyone but the Duelists" p.21 "For some reason, it always seemed to say “Show me. Prove to me what you can do.”… The ellipsis should be moved to be inside the quotation marks or removed p.22 "if I could give you a few more minutes to recover I would." should have a comma after "recover". "If I could give you a few more minutes to recover, I would." p.23 "it felt like a permission" should be "it felt like permission" p.24 " unanimous consensus" should be " unanimous consent" p.24 "because of how damn uncomfortable it was" should be "how damned uncomfortable" p.24 "could be miserable in their own way" should be "ways" since the line refers to two parameter tests p.24 "sure enough the buzzing over Rei's skin" should have a comma after "sure enough" "sure enough, the buzzing over Rei's skin" p.24 "for a few second Rei felt off balance" should be "for a few seconds, Rei felt off balance" p.25 "withstanding the pain that came with the advance ranks" should be "advanced" p.25 Possible continuity error "meant to measure where the average ISCM cadet of said rank" Should this be "Galens cadet" instead, since the version of parameter testing is specific to Galens? p.27 "Rei and the other four Brawlers" should be "Rei and the four Brawlers" since Rei is an A-Type p.29 "B5, he repeated to himself silent" should be "silently" p.29 "Unfortunate, "later" turned into "soon" pretty damn quick" should be "Unfortunately" p.30 "he was long past the point where he would have ordinarily allowed his conscious to crawl back" should be "consciousness" p.30 "After that C5 passed" should have a comma after "that". "After that, C5 passed" p.32 "Rei entire body spasmed" should be "Rei's entire body spasmed" p.32 "a feeling he hadn't experience in a very, very long time" should be "experienced" p.32 "Bretz was suddenly there at his side holding him down as firmly as an iron cage" should have a comma after "side". "Bretz was suddenly there at his side, holding him down as firmly as an iron cage." p.33 "one of the first real cracks in the captain’s stoicism he’d ever born witness to." should be "borne" p.33 "I mean that's definitely high" should have a comma after "I mean". "I mean, that's definitely high" p.41 "Immediately the opacity of the wall" should be "Immediately, the opacity of the wall" p.41 "For a second Rei wasn't sure" should be "For a second, Rei wasn't sure" p.43 "Ashton nodded as thought" should be "though" p.43 "and without a thought he pulled the menu open" should be "and, without a thought, he pulled the menu open" p.44 "And what was up with these spec boosts??" should be "those" p.44 "At once Rei closed out of the upgrade alert" should have a comma after "At once". "At once, Rei closed out of the upgrade alert" p.46 "immediately Rei could think of only one person" should have a comma after "immediately". "Immediately, Rei could think of only one person" p.46 "And that had only culminated weeks of bullying" should be "after weeks". "And that had only culminated after weeks of bullying" p.47 "keep it to himself" Could be an issue on my screen, but it looks like the "k" in "keep" isn't italicized, when the rest of the word is. p.47 "identify if he had it in him to do whatever he had to advance" should be "whatever he had to to advance" p.48 "his aura so solid it might have made it hard to breath" should be "breathe" p.50 "Firstly, you are now going to be stopping in to see lieutenant major Ashton" Ashton's military rank should be capitalized. p.50 Continuity error - "when you get back from Sectionals next Monday" Sectionals starts next Monday, and they would be back a week later. Should be either "a week from next Monday" or "in two weeks" p.51 "Ashton muttered just low enough" should have a comma after "muttered". "Ashton muttered, just low enough" p.52 Possible continuity error? "Laurent and Grant were the only ones to best your Offense & Endurance score" on page 22, Gisham stated she thought she saw Viv take down the B0 guy, which means she would have reached the first B5. p.53 "Even as he struggled to catch it again, though, he typed furiously, loosing eloquence in favor of urgency." should be "losing eloquence" p.55 "at that level of competition even the smallest error could lead to doom for any squad." should have a comma after "competition." "at that level of competition, even the smallest error could lead to doom for any squad." p.55 "He didn’t ask Rei if he understood this time, instead finally lifting his gaze Mayd and Ashton." should be "lifting his gaze to Mayd and Ashton" p.55 "pleasantly distracted by the surprise that Aria and the others would allowed to visit, at least" should be "would be allowed to visit" p.59 “One of these days I’m gonna murder that bitch,” should have a comma after "days". "One of these days, I'm gonna murder that bitch" p.59 "nor reached the elevators that quickly took her down the ground floor of the hospital" I think this should be "nor as she reached the elevators" p.60 "If you so much as roll your eyes with excessive enthusiasm I’m going to call your old Matron" should have a comma after "enthusiasm". "If you so much as roll your eyes with excessive enthusiasm, I’m going to call your old Matron" p.61 "With only the faintest sound of whirring gears the bed started to sit up" should have a comma after "gears". "With only the faintest sound of whirring gears, the bed started to sit up" p.61 "60 degrees angle or so" should be "60 degree angle or so" p.66 "probably a measurable swatch of SCT combatants" should be "swath" p.67 "Predictably Catchwick led the way" should have a comma after "predictably". "Preditably, Catchwick led the way" p.68 "doctors "overseeing his case" " Not sure quotes are needed around "overseeing his case". p.70 "the girl’s eyes so intently still set" I think should be "the girl's eyes still so intently set" p.70 "For a long time Ward met Cashe’s gaze, but said nothing." should have a comma after "long time". "For a long time, Ward met Cashe’s gaze, but said nothing." p.71 "while across from her Laurent had turned away from the Lancer to look at Ward." should have a comma after "from her". "while across from her, Laurent had turned away from the Lancer to look at Ward." p.73 "After a second he looked around, meeting Laurent, Viv, and Catchwick’s gazes one after the other." should have a comma after second. "After a second, he looked around, meeting Laurent, Viv, and Catchwick’s gazes one after the other." p.73 "I want you to take that idea, dial to 10, and then double it" should be "I want you to take that idea, dial it to 10, and then double it" p.76 "review of recent top-level SCTs fights" should be either "review of recent top-level SCTs" or "review of recent top-level SCT fights" p.76 "After that he studied the coding of his NOED" should have a comma after "After that". "After that, he studied the coding of his NOED" p.76 "but without a proper desk or smart-glass screen to display anything he got frustrated" should have a comma after "anything". "but without a proper desk or smart-glass screen to display anything, he got frustrated" p.76 "Pleasantly the room reacted" should have a comma after "Pleasantly". "Pleasantly, the room reacted" p.78 Continuity error - "C7… In a flash that Rei otherwise thought should have taken through Sectionals, he and Shido had suddenly tied Aria as the strongest Users among the Galens firstyears." Rei is tied with Aria for strongest first-year Users when he's C6, when they're on their first date. "Rei’s shiny C6 CAD-Rank, tied for the highest first-year rank with Aria, was a full tier higher than any of them" on p.18 of the clean 1-5 chapters p.78 "If anything, hadn’t the parameter testing proven that too many were watching?" "too many" should be italicized, not just "too" p.80 "Even with her back to him he thought he could tell Ashton was rolling her eyes." should have a comma after "him". "Even with her back to him, he thought he could tell Ashton was rolling her eyes." p.80 "He grumbled something under this breath" should be "under his breath" p.82 "There was mirror in the bathroom" should be "a mirror" p.82 "Rei allowed himself only a very brief chuckle thinking on the number times" should be "the number of times" p.83 "Shido had prioritized mobility and combat over almost everything" should be "almost everything else" p.87 Another reference to the continuity error mentioned above "Rei’s recent shared ascent to the coveted top spot in the class" p.87 "any lingering hope Rei had of ducking Mayd’s and Ashton’s orders" should be "Mayd and Ashton's" p.87 "In this fashion the rest of the afternoon training passed" should have a comma after "fashion". "In this fashion, the rest of the afternoon training passed" p.89 "Instead, you’ll report to the SB1" should be "report to SB1" p.92 Continuity error "even if it was held on the SB5 Wargames field that day." On p.89, Dent said "you'll report to SB1 for one last Team Battle and Wargames practice" p.92 " despite several blunders here and there by the others it was the only fight they lost all day" should have a comma after "others". "despite several blunders here and there by the others, it was the only fight they lost all day" p.98 "though still avoided his gaze." should be "though he still avoided his gaze" p.98 "Shido’s Speed and Cognitions specs" should be "Cognition"

Adam
>>113639147

If you'd like to send me the rest of the clean chapters, I'm happy to get a head start!

Meghan McMahon

Both my pdf viewer and Adobe say that these files cannot be opened because they are corrupted or damaged.