It Girl, What? (Patreon)

It Girl, what?!

The K-Drama Adventure Comedy!

Total Fun! Yes!

By

Taylor Galen Kadee

Copyright © 2018

tgkadee.com

Introduction

I am a huge fan of Korean television shows, particularly the comedies and dramas, all of which inspired It Girl! If you are not familiar with these shows, please be aware that the art form celebrates fun above all else, and character reactions usually are BIG and DRAMATIC!

Likewise, they do not always worry too much about being super plausible, or having plots that seem completely and totally believable. Instead, they are focused on plots and stories that entertain and giddily flaunt logic and plausibility.

I tell you all this because if you are looking for a logical plot with realistic characters, you will not find it in It Girl! What you will find is fun, fun and, also, fun!

Another area Korean creatives excel is in the explorations of gender identity. They have many shows in which females disguise themselves as males, and in which few characters conform to strict gender norms, with guys who love fashion, girls who love fighting, and every other mix and match identity you find in the real world. I try to do some of the same here! Enjoy! Write a review! You are the best and most amazing reader ever! Yes!

Legal Notes

This stuff is all made up. It’s not based on any real people or situations. Coincidence is coincidence! I swear, this is not from my real life! It really isn’t! Truly! Totally! Not even!

Chapter 1

Kwon Abbot crouched in the shadows. He’d slowed his heart rate, nearly stilled his breathing. He made less sound than a stone, and yet all around him he heard his stalkers, wheezing, their stealthiest movements as loud to Kwon’s ears as the stomping of an elephant.

They couldn’t see or hear him. He knew by their hesitance, the uncertain, halting movements. He could smell their sweat, and it reeked of fear. All at once, they all stopped moving. Froze. Everyone waited for someone else to make a move. Kwon waited as well. He’d learned long ago that death served the patient warrior.

Nothing. Nothing. Silence and darkness save for a single mean of light that poured down from a crack in the roof, knifing across the blank space, hot and white. A single mote of dust drifted through the shaft of light, softly drifting toward the ground, bur swirling, toyed with by a breeze so minute it could not even be detected.

Then, one of them Kwon’s pursuers screamed out in a trembling voice fear itself had ripped from his chest: “Show yourself! Stop hidin--ack!”

A knife. Throat. Blood gushing from a sucking wound. Spin, Kick, Punch. Kwon moved like the night, spinning, slashing, battering, and when he walked away, six men lay on the ground, trembling as they died. “Thank your God,” Kwon said. “You have been killed by a legend.”

Kwon made his way out of the darkened warehouse, casually walked to the end of an alley just as a sleek red corvette slid up to the curb. Kwon hopped into the car, pulling the door shut.

The withered old man behind the wheel of the car, Amiga, floored it, the tires squealing as the car pulled away and into the bustling nighttime traffic. “What took you so long?”

Kwon pulled a pack of Camel cigarettes out of his coat pocket and a zippo lighter with a picture of a Playboy bunny om the side. “I stopped by the barbershop for a haircut.”

“Funny. Did you get the hard drive?”

“Are you old and impotent?” Kwon said, tossing the hard drive into Amiga’s lap.

“Ha! Better than young and foolish,” Amiga said. He coughed as Kwon’s smoke began to fill the car. “I wish you wouldn’t smoke in here.”

“I know,” Kwon said, turning to blow smoke directly into Amiga’s face. “And I don’t care.”

“Why do you have to be so foul?” Amiga said.

“I’m bored,” Kwon said. “I want a real challenge! Everything is too easy!”

“Well, then, I pray to the gods you get your wish! The man who complains of an easy life is the gum on the foot of a fool.”

“You’re the gum on the ass of a fool,” Kwon said. “Now, please, just shut up and drive.”

Chapter 2

‘You won’t escape this time!” A man in a black mask shouted from the top of the grand staircase.

Ki Hanja screamed, her hands on her cheeks.

She turned to run, while the Man in the Mask grabbed a drape and swung down from the stairs, landing on the floor in front of her. Eyes wide, she backed away, shaking her head.

“At last!” The man shouted, advancing on her. “The moment you’ve been waiting for!” He advanced on her grinning, and she backed against the wall. He pinned her against the wall, then pressed his body into hers, taking her jaw in his hand and turning her face up.

“No!” Ki said. “No!”

“Your mouth says no, but your eyes say yes!” He leaned in and kissed her. She struggled at first, pushing her hands against his chest, but he kept kissing her, and then she collapsed into him, accepting the kiss with her whole body, surrendering to her need.

“Ow!” She suddenly said as she felt The Man in the Black Mask pinch her bottom. Hard. “You jerk!” Now she shoved him for real, and he stumbled backwards, falling on his butt, laughing.

“CUT!” Director shouted. “CUT!” He jumped down from his chair and walked onto the set, rubbing his hands over his face. “Ki? Everything okay?”

“No,” she said, her eyes burning with rage. “He pinched my butt!”

“What? That’s all?” The director shouted. “You need to stop being so sensitive Ki! Time to grow up and be a professional?”

“Me?” Ki said.

Dong-Yui pulled of his mask and shrugged. “I got lost in the scene. It seemed like something Black Mask would do.”

“I’m going to my trailer,” Ki said. “I’ve had enough of this!” She stepped away from her mark, and just as she did a klieg light came crashing down right where she’d been standing, glass shattering all over the floor.

From somewhere above, lost in the shadows, an autotuned laugh rang out. “Next time I won’t miss! Hahahahahaah!!!”

Ki screamed and burst into tears running from the room as fast as her stiletto heels would take her.

Chapter 3

Kwon climbed out of bed and went to the sink. He splashed water on his face, and ran it over his shaved head. He considered hair an unnecessary distraction from the business of being the best agent in the Tiger Legion.

Still in bed, Sung Wook smiled as she admired his lean, hard body.  Slender, short, he had lean, hard, functional muscle, but as she’d just learned, he was also extraordinarily flexible.

The girls she’d spoken with had been right about him; he was a truly talented lover who knew just how to please a girl in bed. “Why haven’t you ever settled down?” Sung said. “Gotten married?”

Kwon turned to her, mocking a terrified face. “Marriage is the one thing I fear in this world!”

“Haha! No. Truly. I am not asking you to marry me, of course,” she said with a giggle. “But you must be lonely!”

“When I am lonely,” Kwon said, “I can always find a beautiful girl to keep me company.” It wasn’t bragging. It was truth.

Sung covered her mouth and giggled some more. “You think I’m beautiful?” She said.

Kwon sat on the edge of his bed and kissed her. “The most beautiful girl in the world!” He said, watching her eyes light up. He loved girls. So sweet and soft and full of giggles. Even Sung, who had three kills to her name and could be as hard and ruthless as a wolf, turned into a silly little bunny when she was with him. He ran his hands along her soft shoulder, her arm.

‘I bet you say that to all the girls,” Sung pouted.

Kwon took her chin in his hands and tilted her face back. “Only the one I am with at the moment. Because the girl I am with is always the most beautiful. I need to train. Let yourself out when you are ready.”

“Goodbye, lover,” Sung said, and when he left she curled up under the covers and sighed. What was it about him? She decided it was not only his hot body, but the fact he seemed charmed; the youngest to ever be named a Full Shareholder in the Tiger Legion, the youngest to be named Master. He could do anything, it seemed, and what girl wouldn’t want a man like that for herself?

She just wished she knew how to capture his heart!

________________

Kwon had put on his workout clothes— a form fitting black body suit, and a slouchy black beret he wore to keep his head warm as he walked about the Tiger Legion Lair, which was always kept cold. As he walked, he saw a line of female agents lined up for inspection, and a very rare sight indeed as walking along with a man Kwon didn’t recognize was one he most assuredly did: Ambush, the leader of the Tiger Legion. Kwon slowed and approached the group, curious. If Ambush had taken a personal interest in this matter, then it had to be very important.

The man Kwon didn’t recognize walked along the row of girls, who each wore a wig in the same long, elegant hairstyle, as well as matching dresses and heels. They had big, brightly colored plastic purses slung over their forearms. He’d slept with most of them and admired their legs and figures in the dresses.

“Too tall,” the unknown man said in a cold, detached voice. “Too tall. Too short. Too short. Too tall. Hmmmmn,” he said, stopping to regard one of them, then shook his head. “Looks nothing like her. This one is too think—”

Kwon saw the pain on OK’s face, and he shouted, “What did you say? How dare you insult her like that!”

“Our guest meant no disrespect,” Ambush said in a deep, gravelly voice.

“But he did disrespect---”

“You!” The unknown mad said. “Yes! Yes!” He hurried up to Kwon and circled him, looking him over. “Perfect height and your face. She looks just like her!”

“She? Her? What are you talking about?”

“It’s a miracle! Why was this girl not in the group in the first place?”

“Girl? I am a Tiger Master!” Kwon protested. In addition to his short stature and narrow shoulders, Kwon had an effeminate face, and he had sometimes been mistaken for a girl over the years, something which deeply offended him. Wearing his black body suit and beret, he did look a bit androgynous and could be mistaken for a woman though a scrawny one lacking curves.

“Stand still,” the man said, going to one of the other girls and taking the wig off her head, a little roughly.

“Stand still, I should—”

“Master Kwon. Stand still,” Ambush said.

Kwon froze, snarling. Even he would not dare openly defy Ambush.

“I am Bora,” the main said absently, and then he took the mass of black curls in his hands and reached up to place the wig on Kwon’s head.

“What? How dare you!?” Kwon shouted, reaching to protect his head form the insult the man intended.

“Master Kwon!” Ambush shouted. “You will stop with your disrespectful behavior!!! Bora is a valued friend and client!”

“Hmmmpppf!” Kwon had no choice. He stood still as the man pulled the wig onto his head, then spent a minute primping and arranging the long hair. He stepped back, and clapped his hands. “You’re a perfect match! Hold on!”

Kwon saw the line of girls, their eyes dancing with amusement and surprise as they looked at him there in the long wig. “He looks just like her! I see it now! So pretty!” They tittered. He raised his chin and threw his shoulders back. “I am not pretty! A man is handsome!” But the girls just giggled.

While Kwon had been focused on the females, Bora had gotten one of them to step out of her pumps, and he now walked back to Kwon with the pumps in one hand and a purse in the other.

Kwon looked at Ambush with pleading eyes, but the great master just nodded to him, his eyes hard, and the message was clear: do what you must not what you would.

Kwon couldn’t hide the reddening of his cheeks as the man helped him slip out of his old shoes and into the high heels, then had him slip the strap of the purse over his forearm, letting it dangle there. “Walk,” the man said.

Kwon walked. He’d never walked in heels, but he had incredible balance, and very strong legs. He minced along, the girls all laughing openly now.

“Turn,” the man said. “Walk.”

Kwon turned, walked, did it again, like a model sashaying on the catwalk. The girls were doubling over now with amusement to see the tough guy clicking along in high heels, a purse on his arm, but they were also chirping with admiration. “Not bad!  He needs work, but not bad!  He’s actually pretty graceful.”

When the man finally said, “Stop!” Kwon stopped, relieved, and without even realizing how it would look he planted his free hand on his hip.

“She’s the one!” Bora said. “This is the girl!”

“What? I am not a girl! I am a man!” Kwon yelped.

“Miss Kwon,” Ambush said with a smile. “Until this mission is complete, you are a girl. Come with us for debriefing.”

Kwon’s eyes went wide. His cheeks were blazing red. He started to slip out of the high-heels, but Ambush shouted, “Keep your heels on, young lady! And don’t even think about dropping your purse!”

The girls kept snickering as they watched Kwon walk away, his shoes clicking along on the floor, his purse dangling from his forearm. As soon as Ambush was out of sight, they all pulled out their phones and started texting.

“Master,” Kwon said, concentrating on keeping up with the men in his high heels. “Why are you doing this to me?”

“I heard you were bored and wanted a challenge,” Ambush said, smiling down at Kwon.

Amiga! Kwon thought. Curse him!

Chapter 4.

The debriefing did not take long. Kwon would be impersonating the famous K-Drama star Ki Honja, seeking to discover the identity of the mysterious “Autotune Killer” as her attempted murderer had been nicknamed, as well to serve as a decoy in case of another attack. His objections to the mission, namely that he was a male and not suited to impersonate a beautiful woman, had been ignored, and he now found himself in the Tiger Lab sitting on an examination table. “There is no way I can pass for Ki Honja,” Kwon said, looking at a picture of her in a bikini. “She has curves most women would die for! I am skinny as a rail!”

“That is why,” Hoon, a pretty young scientist said, “we must give you curves of your own!”

“You can’t mean implants?” Kwon said.

“Of course not. We have something much better: body suits!” She pushed a button and Kwon saw a schematic of his body. It was spinning in a circle. Hoon clicked a button on her computer, and the body shifted into a tank, where various mechanical arms came out and began to wrap it in layers, while others sprayed and then there was a flash, and the body that had been Kwon’s now had an hourglass shape, including large breasts, a tiny waist, wide hips and a big, heart shaped behind.

“Impossible!” Kwon shouted. “There is no way you can change me like that!”

“This is the latest and most advanced technology, developed right here at Tiger Labs! You’ll be one of the first subjects!”

“It won’t work,” Kwon repeated, looking at the body spinning on the screen, terrified at the thought that it would work, and he would soon be that vision of female beauty.

“Take off your clothes,” Hoon said. “And let’s find out.”

Kwon thought about refusing. He didn’t want this mission. It was absurd. Surely, there was an actual female in the Legion better suited. “I don’t know if I can do this,” he said.

“Scared?” Hoon teased.

“Scared! I fear nothing!”

“Prove it,” she said.

“Arrrrghhhhh! Fine!” Kwon stripped off his clothes and boldly stepped into the glass tube. He stood with his hands at his sides. He had nothing to be embarrassed about.

Hoon glanced down at Kwon’s equipment and gave him an appreciative smile. “The rumors are true,” she said.

‘Oh, yeah,” Kwon said. “And I know how to use it!”

Hoon pushed a button and the glass tube closed. “Well, take one more good look, because you aren’t going to see him again for a while!”

“What?” Kwon shouted. He started pounding on the glass. “Wait! Let me out of here!”

“Too late, Miss Kwon,” Hoon said, putting her hand over her mouth.

A robotic but feminine voice spoke over the speakers in the tube: “Initiating body suit deployment. Dimensions Ki Honja to be sheathed over male body 567.21. Her new figure will be 38D, 24, 36.

“Oh no,” Kwon thought. “Did she say D?” He shouted.

Hoon nodded. “You will have quite a rack!”

“I don’t want one!”

The mechanical arms started to emerge from slots in the sides of the tube even as a pink gas poured in from vents in the floor. Kwon tried to focus his KI for a strike against the glass, meaning to break free. No one had said anything about his junk being “unavailable” and thought Kwon didn’t even know what that meant, he knew it sounded really bad.

Cough. Cough. The pink gas had reached his mouth and nose, and he’d breathed some in before he realized it. It smelled like sugar and spice, and even as he tried to hold his breath he started to giggle, and as he giggled his voice rose into a higher and higher pitch, even as his head grew light and he became dizzy and couldn’t focus his thoughts.

“Don’t fight it!” Hoon called. “Just relax and let it happen!”

The arms grabbed his wrists, and he felt them lifted over his head, and then something was being wrapped around his body. He looked down and saw a pair of huge breasts, and as the arms pulled it closed behind him he heard a kind of sucking sound and felt the new layer of flesh pulling tight against his body, actually crushing and crushing and crushing his waist, making it tiny! At the same time, he felt a stabbing pain in his nipples and chest, and then suddenly it felt like his chest were floating about a foot in front of his body. He shook his head, confused, but then his waist crushed in again, and he gasped, making a high-pitched noise

“This hurts!” He cried out in his new, small little voice.

“But you look great!” Hoon said. “If you know how to block pain, do it now!”

“Why?” Kwon asked, but then he felt something like a diaper being wrapped around his hips, and it pulled tight against his crotch, and then it began to pull and crush at him where it hurts most, and he followed Hoon’s advice, trying his best to use his skills to relieve the---- “iiiiiieeeeeeeeee” he screamed as it felt like his pride and joy was getting mangled.

Little brushed and spray tubes now came out and began to spray his body. He could feel it all as if the suit was his actual skin, and he thought it was all over until a mop of long, curly hair plopped onto his head, and he felt it digging into his scalp, attacking itself to him.

The ordeal ended, and as the door to the chamber came open and the arms let go of his wrists, Kwon stumbled and would have fallen, but Hoon caught him and helped him back to the examining table. He felt his huge, fat breasts bouncing and swaying with every step, and his long hair was in his face and eyes.

As soon as he got to the table, he crossed his legs, putting one hand over the new, flat space he had between his legs, and draping the other across his massive breasts. His bravado was gone, and he flushed with shame at his smooth, curvy body. Now, his nakedness felt like a slap across the face. Plus, his waist ached, and it felt like all his internal organs had been crushed and shoved into his lungs. “I can’t breathe!”

Hoon looked him over. “You look just like her!” She gushed. “Just like a movie star!”

“Can you stop ogling me and get me something to wear!” Kwon shrieked.

‘Oh, of course, darling.”

She retrieved a garment bag and a pair of pumps from a nearby table. “Bora left these for you. He said you are a glamorous movie star now and must always look stunning! As a little girl, I always thought it would be such fun to be a pretty movie star, and now you are one!”

Kwon rolled his eyes, pulling his long hair away from his face. “Where can I change?”

“Here. You don’t have anything I haven’t seen,” Hoon said, laughing.

“Place to change?” Kwon repeated.

“The little girls’ room is right over there.”

“You know, you don’t have to be enjoying this so much,” Kwon said. “It’s quite embarrassing for me.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Hoon said. “I forget how sensitive you pretty girls can be!”

“Uuuurrrrrgghh!!!” Kwon said, taking the garment bag with one hand and, keeping the other across his bobbling breasts, he went to the girls’ room, looking at the image of the triangle skirt and thinking, “I guess I’ll have to get used to using this one for now!”

Kwon had always wondered what the girl’s room looked like, and as he walked in he was stunned to realize it looked—kind of the same?  There were sinks and a mirror. The major difference was that the bathroom had only stalls. No urinals.

He hung up his garment bag. He thought about looking at himself in the mirror, but it seemed wrong to look at himself as a naked girl, so instead he zipped open the garment bag. Inside, there was a hanger with black lace bra and panties, plus a second hanger with a scrap of black he could only assume was a dress meant for a doll. “Can I possibly fit in this?” He wondered touching it with his finger-tips, while keeping one arm firmly across the soft swelling of his chest.

He frowned at the bra and panties, and he thought about not even wearing them, but when he took his arm from across his bosom, he felt the two big weights he had sway, pulling on his collarbone and shoulders. “Ack! How heavy are these things?””

He huffed, brushing his hair back from his shoulders, feeling those infernal mounds shifting and swaying once more, and he ruefully decided he might as well put the bra on and get used to it, because he needed one.

Thank the gods my father can’t see me now! He thought as he slipped the bra around his body. He’d watched the women he’d bedded dress—how he loved to watch them get dressed! And so, he copied what he’d seen, putting it on backward, hooking it in front, then turning it around, slipping his arms into the straps, pulling it up. It felt so weird to lift one of his breasts then, to feel that soft, feminine flesh in his hands even as he felt himself touching his own breast, lifting it and fitting it into one of the cups, then doing the same with the other.

He felt the little straps on his shoulders pull tight, as did the strap across his back, and the bra was clearly designed to lift his big, round breasts and hold them out, away from his chest. He shook his shoulders side to side and felt his breasts kind of jiggling in the cups.

Taking hold of the panties, his cheeks flushed as he felt the cool, lacy fabric in his hands, noticing they had a little ribbon on the band. Why does everything have to be so sexy? He wondered, but then he stepped into them and pulled them up his legs and over his wide, rounded hips. The way they fit reminded him the suit had – how best to say it—relieved him of his bulge?

Finally, he turned to look at himself in the mirror-- “Ahhhhhh!” He screamed. “Whhhaaaaaaat?”

He saw a gorgeous woman looking back at him, all rounded, with glowing skin and an hourglass shape that made the man inside her pop with desire. It isn’t possible, he thought, turning to the side and seeing his plump, rounded butt, and the clear outline of his massive breasts. More, though, turning back for a front view, the body suit had somehow crushed his waist down, and whereas his arms had been ripped with tendons and muscles, they too, had been squeezed and softened, and now looked dainty and small, round and soft.

His turtle shell abs were gone as well, replaced by a single line that went down from his ribs to his belly button, which was now an innie whereas he’d been an outie. His tummy was still flat, but soft, feminine, as were his rounded thighs, and he noticed ruefully that he now had an alluring thigh gap.

He turned his back the mirror, glancing back over his shoulder, and seeing the view he felt super weirded out to realize that guys would be totally wanting to make out with him!

He heard her approaching, and he grabbed the garment bag and cowered behind it just as Hoon poked her head in the door. “I heard a scream,” she said.

“Get out!” Kwon shrieked. “I’m still changing!”

Hoon could see a strap across a shoulder, and swatch of lace at his hip, and taking in the sight of the great and fearless Master Kwon in his bra and panties, hiding behind a garment bag, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment, she decided to have some fun. “Do you need help with your dress?”

“I just need privacy!” Kwon said, his already small voice having risen to a girly shriek.

“Okay! Don’t lose your panties!”

“Lose my—Get out!”

Hoon closed the door. If Kwon was this thrown already, just wait until he gets out into the real world and had to deal with men. Poor boy!

Chapter 5

Sung Wo had thought to sleep for a couple more hours, snuggling in Kwon’s bed. She hugged his pillow to her face, breathing in his manly musk, drifting toward sleep and dreams, but then her phone began to buzz, and buzz, and buzz…

While she managed to ignore all her millennial impulses at first, when it kept buzzing the way it was buzzing now, that meant something was happening—something she needed to know about!

Consumed with excitement and curiosity, she rolled over and hunted with her hands under the blankets and covers until she found her phone. She swiped it, thinking maybe someone had broken up with someone or whatever, but then she saw text after text about Kwon--- Kwon being made to wear a wig, high heels… Kwon being assigned to impersonate Ki Honja?

Ki Honja? The actress and model? Sung shook her head, scrolling down to the end of the texts. Kwon had gone to the lab, people were gathering outside to greet him when he excited?

It all seemed impossible! Sung couldn’t imagine any of it, but she sure as heck didn’t want to miss out on the event of the year. She got out of bed, and got dressed.

Chapter 6.

Ki Hanja sat at her dressing table in her trailer, sipping cucumber water and browsing through the latest issue of Vogue: Korea.

Her agent, Da Sun, was just finishing up a phone call. “Excellent news!”

“What?” Ki said, without looking up from her magazine.

“The agency has found an agent to serve as your double until the crisis is over.”

“Impossible,” Ki said. “I am a unique and special snowflake.”

“You are of course unique and one of a kind! But, they have used the most advanced technology to make her look exactly like you!” Da said.

“I don’t like it!” Ki said. “Even if they do have the technology to make someone look like me, I am sure she can’t act as well as me, or move as gracefully. Do you know how many years I trained for this career? They should cancel the shoot until this—ugh! Autotune is captured! Why does my psycho have to have such a lame name?”

“The costs of shooting here in New York are sky high. The film company cannot afford any delay.”

“Whose side are you on?” Ki said. “Perhaps you have forgotten who pays your salary?” She picked up her eyebrow curler and began toying with her eyelashes.

“Until the killer is caught—“ Da started.

“NO! NO! NO!” Ki screamed.

“But—“

“NOOOOOOOOOOO!”

“Okay. Okay!” Da pulled out his phone and called Bora. “The answer is no. She is adamant. I won’t tell you what to do, but she will not appear on set until the killer has been caught. You can--“ Da looked at his phone. “He hung up.”

“Well, arrange a flight for me to Paris. He will see he has no choice but to shut down the film when I am gone.” She giggled. “Imagine what the Internets will say! Everyone will be talking about me!”

But not in a good way, Da thought. “Of course. You are the most interesting woman in the world.”

“They actually thought some secret agent could perform my role as brilliantly as me? The insult!”

Just then, they heard footsteps crunching on the gravel outside the trailer. Ki’’s eyes went wide. “That could be the killer!” She got up and hid in her closet. “Tell him I’m not here!” She pulled the accordion door closed and left Da standing there, dumbfounded. He dialed 911 and told the authorities what was happening, then started to hide in the bathroom, but Ki cracked open the closet and said, “No! You have to protect me.”

“But I might get killed.”

“You’re my agent,” Ki said. “Duh.” She pulled the closet closed again.

Da fumed, wondering why he hadn’t listened to his mother and become an accountant. I could have had a nice, safe life sitting in a cube counting numbers, but no. I had to be a talent agent! He grabbed a curling iron from the table and took a position next to the door. Maybe he could surprise the killer, drive him off.

There was a knock on the door. Then, the handle started to turn, the door cracked open.
 “Die!” Da screamed, brandishing his curling iron.

“Mercy!” Bora screamed, raising his arms to shield himself form the death blow.

“Bora?”

“Da?”

“I thought you were the killer!” Da said, laughing. “I am so sorry. I might have killed you!”

“Not a day goes by when someone doesn’t want to kill me for something,” Bora said. “I am a producer, after all. Where’s Ki?”

“Ta da!” Ki said, throwing open the closer door and taking a bow. “Now, don’t even try to talk me into staying!”

“Of course not,” Bora said. “Your safety is my greatest concern!”

“What about my reputation, then? How could you think to replace me with an amateur?”

“There isn’t an actress alive who could replace you. Of course.”

Ki smiled. “Well, that’s more like it.”

Bora sat and put his head in his hands. “I am in such a terrible situation! Well, it’s a shame, but it is all a part of my job. So, thank you for your hard work, and maybe we will be able to work together again in the future.” He made a small bow, shook Da’s hand and headed toward the door.

“Wait? What?” Ki said.

“The studio is shutting down the picture. They simply can’t afford delays.”

“Shutting down? But this is going to be my big entrance into the American market?! How can they shut it down? We’ve shot half the script!”

“Yes. It is tragic, but there is some thought to take some outtakes and put them on Bloopers! So, we move on! Best of luck!” He put his hand on the knob and started to turn.

“Wait!” Ki said. “No! This is not acceptable.”

“The only answer I know is the Double, but you are right. It can’t work.”

“Um, maybe it can,” Ki said. “What if we give her a try? See how it goes? If I do not like her performance, then we shut down?”

“Well, she would have to also make all your appearances, and I know how much you love getting out there and meeting your fans.”

“She would cover my –you mean for the duration no red carpets, no awards shows, no autograph lines?” Ki’s eyes lit up with glee.

“I’m afraid not. Is that acceptable to you?” Bora said. “Your happiness is my only concern.”

“I am willing to try this for the good of the picture and the studio,” Ki said, once more sitting down and sipping her water.

“I can’t let you make this sacrifice,” Da said, finally catching on. “My client will not agree to this!” He shouted.

“I do agree to this, Da. Ugh! You’re the worst!”

“I am terrible,” Da said, giving Bora a wink. “I thought this was a bad idea. I beg your forgiveness.”

“I don’t know why I put up with you!”

“I feel there are more ways we can make this a victory for Ki,” Bora said. “Let me explain.”

Chapter 7.

Kwon tugged at the hem of his dress, trying to pull it down. “It’s too small and too tight!” He called out to Hoon. “I can’t be seen wearing this! I am practically naked!”

“Let me see,” Hoon said, cracking open the door. Kwon stood there in his bare feet, looking flabbergasted, tugging on the hem of his short dress, his knees together. The dress came down only to the tops of his thighs, leaving the length of his long, coltish legs exposed. It had a plunging neckline that did the same for his bust and even left the top of his lacy bra exposed. Plus, it had adorable lace cap sleeves that left his now slender, pretty arms bare. It hugged or left bare every one of his now perfect curves.

“Hmmmmnnn…. It seems a bit over modest to me,” she said laughing. “You should get the hem raised!”

“What? You’re crazy.”

“That dress is just perfect on you,” Hoon said. “You’ll drive the boys wild!”

Kwon frowned, but finally just rolled his eyes and said, “Fine.” He stepped into his black pumps. “I’ll have to solve this mystery fast and get myself out of this mess,” he said, still tugging at his dress. Some of his hair got into his mouth, and Hoon giggled, coming over and helping him arrange it. Hoon went and opened the door for him, and Kwon seethed but stepped forward, his heels clicking on the tile floor. The tight dress made it a little hard to walk, and he found he had to take dainty little steps. With each one, he felt his breasts jiggle. And his butt felt huge, squeezed by the tight dress. He felt like he was dragging a caboose.

“I can barely walk,” he complained as he made his way across the lab. His arms kept bumping into his wide hips, so he had to hold his arms a little away from his body, which caused Hoon to giggle once more.

“Stop laughing at my pain!”

“I’m sorry, but you are such a doll!”

Just as Kwon reached the door, Hoon called out. “Honey, wait. You forgot your purse!”

Kwon huffed, causing his bangs to flutter. “Why do I need a purse anyway?” He asked. “There isn’t anything in it.”

“Ki Hanja is famous for her purse collection!” Hoon gushed, bringing Kwon his glossy black Kate Spade with all kinds of sparkling silver buckles. “She is never seen without one!”

“Great,” Kwon said, letting Hoon slip the purse over his forearm. “More good news.”

‘Oh, you should be thrilled. This bag is adorable!”

‘Purses are all the same,” Kwon said, taking a deep breath as he prepared to leave the lab and walk through the complex. The weight of his breasts and the constricting of his waist made it hard to breath. “Hopefully I can sneak back to Ambush’ Office without being seen. This is so humiliating.”

Hoon rushed forward and pulled open the door. ‘Ladies first,” she said.

“You are a cruel woman,” Kwon said, giving her an angry look. Then, he heard the screams and, turning around, his mouth fell open as he faced what seemed like every single agent of the Tiger Legion, gathered in a crowd in the landing outside the lab.

They cheered and clapped, and Kwon started backing his way into the lab, terrified, but he felt Hoon put her hand on the small of his back. “Don’t be afraid,” Hoon said. “You’re a movie star!”

“Afraid?” Kwon squeaked. “I fear nothing.” Holding his purse in front of his jiggling chest, he started to mince his way forward, an agonized smile spreading across his face.

He saw girls—women—he’s made out with, covering their mouths, tittering, their eyes sparkling with amusement. “He’s so pretty! He looks just like her! I can’t believe he had a better figure than me now! His shoes are adorable! I love his purse!”

Meanwhile, he caught leering glances from some of the men, who all seemed quite pleased with his new shape. “I am free for kissing lessons!” Someone called. “Nice legs!” Another shouted.

Kwon couldn’t believe all of these boys he’d bested so many times in the sparring room were now mocking him. It shocked him to hear girls he’d kissed now talking about how much they liked his purse. He kept walking along, smiling, trying to ignore it, but as he walked the gauntlet, his anger started to build, and he heard the boys talking about his body and the things they would do with it. Just as he was about to pass the last of the crowd, he couldn’t control himself anymore and he spun on his heels, his hair swirling about his head.

“Stop talking about my body!” He screamed.

For a moment, everyone stared in silence, their mouths hanging open. Then, someone said, “He sounds so cute! Just like a little girl!”

At that, laughter exploded from the crowd. Kwon stood there, clutching his purse, stunned and ashamed, and then he spun once more and minced away as fast as he could in his short dress and high heels, while all his fellow agents laughed. The crowd started to follow, and Kwon yelped, wishing he could move faster, but then he heard someone yell, “Enough!”

Looking back, he saw Sung standing in the middle of the hallway, her arms raised to either side, blocking the crowd from following. Thank you, he thought, his heart going out to her. Such a true friend!

Chapter 8

Kwon tottered away, mortified that everyone had seen him like this. It seemed so cruel of Master Ambush to do this to him. He was sure people would be talking for years about him coming out of the lab looking like a Maxim girl. With his constricted breathing, he felt light headed just from the little effort he’d made, so seeing no one had followed him, he slowed down, breathing hard, his breasts heaving.

He made his way back to Master Ambush’s office, and when he walked in, the pretty little secretary smiled at him and said, ‘Do you an appointment, Miss….?”

“It’s me,” Kwon said in his little new voice, and seeing no recognition on the secretary’s face, he said, “Master Kwon?”

“Miss Kwon! You look so beautiful!”

“Thanks,” Kwon said through gritted teeth, trying to be polite.

“I love your purse!”

“I am told it’s quite fashionable.”

“Your boobs are so big!”

“Ahhhhhh! Can I go in already!”

“Hehe. Of course. They are expecting you.”

“Thank you,” Kwon said, exasperated. He tugged at the hem of his dress, shifted the position of his purse on his arm, pulled his shoulders back and headed for the office door. As he was about to enter, he heard the secretary murmur, “and such a big butt, too!”

He ignored the comment and went into the office. All the men stood up as he entered. He might have protested, might have complained that he was still a man despite his bombshell figure, but he found he couldn’t speak because his eyes had locked onto those of the woman who sat on a leather chair, looking back at him with the most stunning green eyes he’d ever seen.

She stared into his eyes, and he into hers, and it seemed like time had stopped. Kwon was no longer aware of anyone else in the room, or even the room, he saw only her eyes, her smooth, radiant face. The sun shone in through the glass windows, making her eyes sparkle, and he saw a single mote of dust drift through the ray of sunlight, twirling in a breeze so gentle is was all but undetectable.

A smile spread across the woman’s lips, showing a row of perfect white teeth, and Kwon felt his heart skip a beat. Oh, those eyes! That smile! No longer did he need air to breath or food to eat, this woman’s beauty was all he required to live!

Then, she stood, and her movements were as fluid and elegant as a leopard. “Omigod!” Ki squealed. “You’re perfect!”

Kwon started to move to her, to take her hand and kiss it, but she shrieked, “Stand still! Don’t move!” He froze as Ki circled around him, examining his body, and he remembered, suddenly, that he looked like a woman, and he burned with shame, though it did nothing to diminish his blazing passion for Ki Hanji.

“She’s like my life size Barbie Doll,” KI said, addressing the men. “Oh, such a pretty, pretty girl. I love her!”

Finally, she came around to face Kwon, brushing the hair back from his face, then putting her hands on his soft cheeks. “I’m going to have so much fun with you!”

“Don’t worry,” Kwon said, wanting to impress her with his manly courage. “I will catch the Autotune Killer for you, and—“

“Sssshhhhss,” Ki said, putting her finger to his lips. “I really need to talk to you about the importance of make-up!”

She took his small, soft hand in her small, soft hand. “We girls are going to talk. I trust you men can work out the boring details?”

“Of course,” Ambush said, bowing, and the others bowed as well. “Have fun, ladies,” he said, smiling.

Kwon looked back over his shoulders with pleading eyes. Get me out of this!

But the smile on Ambush’ face only grew wider.

Ki led her blushing, life-sized doll into a private meeting room off the main office. Kwon felt his heart fluttering, his small, soft hand in hers, and the floral perfume she wore swirled around his head, making him feel light-headed. He had never been so smitten, and he even managed to forget that he now had a woman’s shape, and that he was clicking around in high heels and a short dress. I’m going to make her love me! He thought. I simply must have this perfect woman!

Once in the conference room, Ki led Kwon to a chair and, still holding his hand, said, “Sit!”

Kwon swayed uncertainly in his heels, leaning too far forward, causing his chest to almost pop out of his dress. Ki, meanwhile, had gracefully descended into her chair, almost as if she had floated down like a feather. “We are going to have to work on sitting, dear,” she said. “And everything else.”

“Of course,” Kwon said, flush with romantic feelings. He propped his purse on his legs. “Whatever you wish!”

“First things first. I need you to make me a super duper important promise.”

“What?”

“You must promise me you will never ever go out in public without makeup!”

‘Oh!” Kwon said, reaching up to touch his cheeks. “I did not consider! I mean, I am—”

“Just promise!”

“Never?” Kwon asked. He’d been so distracted by his new body and his embarrassing clothes that he hadn’t even thought about things like makeup and perfume. The thought that he would always need to have makeup on now annoyed him.

“Never! We would never be seen with a plain face, like some common girl!”

“I promise,” Kwon said.

“Now, you must also remember this: ABC.”

“ABC?”

“Always be cute!”

“Cute?” Kwon said, not liking the sound of that.

“I am known to be one of the sweetest, cutest girls in the world!” Ki lied, remembering something she and Bora had discussed. “So, you must always choose cute! And, what’s more, never argue or get upset! You should defer to others, and if there is a problem, privately tell my agent, Da, and let him take care of it.”

“What if someone…”

“Never, little doll. Never. Is that clear?”

Kwon nodded, his mouth bending into a frown. “Always be cute,” he said. “I understand.”

“Oh, look at your face! Just like a sad little kitten! You are a cutie pie!”

That brought a smile to Kwon’s face. “Thank you,” he said. “Once more, I promise to fight for—”

‘Here’s the script for tomorrow. You need to learn all your lines! Get to work,” Ki said, standing. “I’ll meet you later at my trailer.” She pulled a sheaf of papers from her purse and tossed them on the desk in front of Kwon, then strutted out of the room, glancing back at the gorgeous little her sitting there looking bewildered and confused, her knees together, her purse in her lap.

She must have been kind of a butch girl, Ki thought, given the way she walks and sits. Well, how lucky for her she now gets to learn to be a glamorous woman! I am so looking forward to helping her!

Kwon felt like he was living in a nightmare as he sat there in his dress, feeling the weight of his chest pressing against his ribs, the weight of them pulling on his bra straps. Just my luck, he thought, hooking his hair behind his ear and picking up the script. I have to fall in love with a woman right when I get turned into one!

The sections that would be shot tomorrow were highlighted, and Kwon’s mouth dropped open as he read: Scene 63: Bathroom. Rose in bubble bath, shaving her legs. He groaned. It was going to be a long day! He had to find the killer, and soon!

Chapter 9.

A stone floor. A rat scurries across. Walls painted black. Overhead lights—off. A figure stands in the middle of the room, draped in shadows. Then, a flat screen hung crookedly on the wall sputters to life, at first full of static, and then an image takes shape: Ki Hanja, several years younger, dressed in an American Cheerleader outfit, saddle shoes. Behind her, members of the girl group Cheer Up! Thumping base music, and the girls all start to stomp one foot and clap.

Another screen lights up, and another. Dozens, hundreds of screens showing Ki Hanja and Cheer Up! as they start to prance around, striking cheerleader poses, smiling, singing:

Fight for my love
 You’re way behind
 But the game’s not over
 You still have time!

The shadowy figure now begins to do his own dance, clenching his fists and swinging them in great roundhouse punches, as if he is bashing someone with his fists.

The girls come to the chorus, tilting their heads side to side as they sing:

I want you

I want you

I want you

To winnnnnn me

Then, an autotuned voice joins in, as the shadowy Autotune Killer sings in counter point, and completely off key and off-beat:

I want you

TO DIIEEEE

I want you

To Dieieieieie

I want you

To Dieieieieieie

To win me

“I can’t figure out what to say there,” Autotune mumbles, and then starts to dance along with the video, bobbing his hooded head side to side and shaking his hips.

Chapter 10

“Make-up for Miss Ki Hanja,” a familiar voice called as the door to the private office where Kwon had been left opened.

“She’s not here,” Kwon said, still reading over the script, wondering if there were some way he could find the killer before this kissing scene with Chin-Hai came to be shot.

“Hi, Kwon,” Sung said as she entered the room with a large makeup bag.

“Sung?” Kwon said, putting the script over his cleavage. “What are you doing here?”

‘I’m going to be undercover with you as your make-up artists!” Sung said. “Isn’t that great?”

“Having my make-up done by the girl I was just kissing this morning is not my idea of great!” Kwon said. “I don’t want you to see my like this!”

“You’re so self-conscious and shy all of a sudden! Just like a pretty girl should be!” Sung sat down across from Kwon and opened her bag.

Kwon sighed. “How long is this going to take?”

“Not long,” Sung said. “You’re so pretty you barely need make-up, but Miss Hanja insists!”

‘Gee, thanks,” Kwon said, setting his script aside. “What do I need to do?”

“Just sit there and be pretty!”

Kwon gritted his teeth. Sung covered his hair, then took out foundation and a soft brush and said, “We begin!

Foundation! Eyeliner! Look up! Look up! False eyelashes, glue, wait, then mascara wand, brushing. How much longer? Shhhssshh!Lip liner. Lipstick. Eyeshadow. How much longer! Sssshhhhs! Three different colors of eyeshadow. Blush.

Finally, Sung sat back and said, “Ta da! Perfect!” She took the cover off his hair and let it tumble back down over his shoulders, then she considered for a moment before taking her foundation brush and dusting it across Kwon’s cleavage. “Stop!” He shouted, unnerved by the tickling sensation.

“Hahaha! They were really too shiny. Take a look.”

‘I don’t want to,’ Kwon said, pouting, but Sung pushed a mirror in front of his face, and his rose red, lipstick wet mouth dropped open as he stared at HER. The woman he’d fallen in love with. “Oh, no! I—I am her!”

“Who would have thought you would make such a perfect girl!” Sung said, amused to see his reaction. She squeezed his knee and said, “We can be girlfriends now, Ki!”

“That’s not my name!” Kwon said, annoyed to have one of his conquests treating him like a mere girl.

“It is now!” a voice called as a young man burst into the room. He wore ripped baggy jeans and a t-shirt, a baseball hat turned sideways, and Converse high tops. “You are a perfect little bunny,” the man said, giving Kwon the once over. ‘Want to come back to my room and rub my feet?”

“Who are you? How dare you?” Kwon said, struggling to his feet.

The boy burst out laughing, a laugh which rose and rose until it became a girlish giggle. ‘It’s me, silly dolly!”

“Ki?” Kwon said, staring at the boy, seeing Ki within the disguise. “Whhaaaaaaat?” His head was spinning.

“I’m going to play a boy in the movie while you play me!” Ki said. “All the best actresses are doing it! Coffee Prince! You’re Beautiful! It will solidify my status forever as the best actress of my generation!!! Plus,” she added, walking over to Kwon and toying with his hair. “I can be around to help you become more perfectly feminine without having to worry about getting murdered!”

“She does need to work a lot on her femininity,” Sung said. “Look how she’s standing!”

Kwon glared at her, even as Ki took the bait and started correcting his stance and posture, forcing him to make himself smaller and more dainty. Finally, though, Amiga came and told them it was time to head back to the hotel.

Kwon glared at Amiga, who just shrugged. “You said you wanted a challenge!”

“I’ll get you for—”

“ABC!” Ki said firmly. ‘Cute, cute, cute!”

Kwon forced a smile onto his face and giggled, making a peace sign. “I meant I wanted a chignon!”

Both girls laughed. ‘Perfect! Perfect!”

“It really is time to go, Miss Hanji.” Amiga said, with a small bow. “You need your beauty sleep!”

“So true!” Kwon said. His legs ached from the time he’d spent practicing walking in his heels, all while Sung and Ki sat chuckling and barking out corrections. So, he gratefully made his way to the door, at least for the fact that he would soon be able to get off these heels…

“Dolly?” Ki called.

“What is it?” Kwon answered in his soft voice.

“You forgot your purse! You’re such an airhead!”

“Hahaha!” Kwon said, all the while seething inside. Sung brought him his purse. “See you in the morning, honey.” And then she gave him a sisterly air kiss and a pat on the hip.

Sung watched Kwon go, his long hair swishing in counter-point to the swaying of his hips, his heels clicking with each dainty step. She remembered them kissing that morning, running her hands over his hard, manly chest, and she marveled at how much things had changed for him in just one day.

Was it strange she thought this could help her get under his skin? She didn’t think so, because now, with the whole guy thing out of the way, maybe he could really get to know her, and she him?

“Want to go to the bar, watch some soccer and hit on the ladies?” Ki said, gruffly.

“Very funny,” Sung said.

“I’m serious,” Ki said. “I’m a method actor, and I need to get into character. I’m buying.”

“Well,” Sung said, “in that case, I’m yours!”

CHAPTER 11

Amiga subjected Kwon to some low-level teasing on the way back to the hotel, but Kwon closed the window between he and the driver. He sighed with relief to finally be off his feet, and crossed his legs, putting his hands in his lap, fantasizing about getting to the hotel and getting out of this tight little dress, his bra slipping into something more comfortable. Maybe ordering a body of whiskey from room service, a cigar. His lipstick was tacky, and he found himself smacking his lips, interested in the way they stuck together slightly.

As the limo pulled up to the hotel, Kwon’s heart sank. Outside the hotel, a small crowd—maybe twenty of thirty—waited, and as they saw the limo approach they began to wave signs and cheer. Mostly they were young women, with a few men standing off to the side.

None of them looked like a killer, but Kwon couldn’t be too careful. He adjusted his bra straps and hooked his hair behind his ear. Amiga came around and opened his door, then offered Kwon his arm. Kwon couldn’t figure out how to get out of the limo on his own without risking embarrassment, so he reluctantly accepted his nemesis’ arm, plastering a smile on his face and thinking, ABC! Always Be Cute!

Girls shrieked! Signs waved! Kwon made a peace sign, threw his hip out to the side and shouted, “I love you all!”

“Pictures! Pictures!”

Ignoring his aching calves, he trotted over and posed, flashing peace signs as grinning girls held up their phones and took pictures. Girls are such frivolous airheads, Kwon thought bitterly as he smiled and posed.

“You’re so pretty! I love your dress!” The girls gushed over his skin, his hair. Kwon was used to girls throwing themselves at him, tension in their eyes from the moment they saw him, and now he found himself with more curves than any of these girls, and prettier and better dressed and they no longer wanted him; they wanted to be him.

Blast you, Amiga he thought, looking the man slouching against the limo in his comfortable clothes and flat shoes. You will pay for this! Despite his anger, he kept the big smile on his face that had started to make his cheeks ache, and gushed thanks to all the girls complimenting him on his glowing skin and shiny hair.

“Good night girls!” He finally chirped in his tiny voice, waving and smiling, tossing his hair. “I have to get my, um, beauty sleep! Big day tomorrow!”

“Goodnight, Ki!” They sang back to him. “We love you!”

Amiga walked along next to him as they entered the hotel. “Your skin is so soft! Your hair shines like the moon!”

“Shut up,” Kwon hissed. “This is all your fault.”

“It was your wish!” Amiga said. “Remember?”

“Say, can I bum a cigarette?” Kwon said. “It’s the least you could do for me after getting me stuck like this!”

“No, ma’am,” Amiga said, snickering. “Miss Hanja does not smoke, drink alcohol or eat gluten. She is quite the health-conscious young lady!”

“No smoking? No alcohol?”

“I’m afraid not, young miss.”

“Ooohhhhhhh!” Kwon pouted, stomping a foot. “This is no fair and no fun!!!!”

“But it is a challenge! Just like you asked!”

Kwon hit Amiga with his purse. “Shut up!” He said. “I am tired, my back aches, and my feet are killing me!!! And now I can’t even have a drink and a smoke? Impossible!!!!”

Amiga cowered. “Ow! Stop!” He said. “Don’t lose your panties.”

Kwon swung his purse again, hitting Amiga one more time on the shoulder, then huffed, blowing up his bangs. The bell chimed, the doors opened, and Kwon smiled his prettiest at the family that waited on the other side, their mouths dropping open at the sight of the beautiful girl. German tourists, they didn’t recognize her, but they could see she was someone, and they admired her, grinning and waving.

Kwon smiled, putting a fist on a hip, his purse dangling from his slender forearm. “Bye bye!” He sang out as the elevator finally reached his floor, and he may have put just a little extra sass in his walk as he made his way to his room.

As soon as the door closed, Amiga departing in the hall, Kwon went to the huge, Queen sized bed and kicked off his high heels, gasping in relief and rubbing his feet. Then, he went looking for pajamas, groaning when he found a baggy panda bear pull over, but he slipped out of his too small too tight clothes, and wrapping himself in the warm, baggy panda outfit he sighed with relief. It was so comfortable against his soft, sensitive skin.

He longed for sleep, but Sung had impressed upon him the necessity of taking it off before bed to protect his skin, so he sat down and used make-up remover to clean off his face, then finally took his script and curled up on the bed, trying to learn his lines, but after such a long, insane and physically draining day, he soon sank into a deep, dreamless sleep.

CHAPTER 12

“Rise and shine!” Sung shouted, jumping onto Kwon’s bed.

“Ahhhhhhh!” Kwon shrieked, thinking, what’s wrong with my voice? He sat up, and felt something bounce and sway, and looking down he saw large, round shapes pushing out the front of his fuzzy, panda bear pajamas, even as hair tumbled into his eyes and the hood flopped over his head. What? Kwon thought, waking confused. Where am I? What happened to my body? He grabbed the round shapes on his chest and his mouth dropped open.

“Stop feeling yourself up!” Sung said, slapping his hands away from his breasts. Then, she pulled his long hair out of his eyes and kissed him on the cheek. “Miss Ki! Time to get started!”

“Miss Ki?” But even as he shook his head, Kwon began to remember the events of the previous day. “Noooooooo!” He moaned. “I thought it was just a nightmare!”

“Sorry, Miss,” Sung said, taking Kwon by the hand and dragging him out of bed. “Time to get ready for your morning exercise!”

“Ooohhhh! Let me sleep!” Kwon begged, his legs aching as he allowed himself to be dragged over to the dressing table.

“Nope! I have to do your workout make-up and hair, and we only have 20 minutes!”

“Workout makeup? Hair? For a workout?”

“You’re a movie star, sweetie! Now, sit so I can make you pretty!”

“I hate pretty!” Kwon moaned.

Sung just giggled as she started to brush his hair out. “Such a boy Do you have any sisters?” She asked.

“Two,” Kwon said, rubbing his eyes, looking at the bleary girl in the mirror, trying to get around the idea that she was him, this girl he’d fallen in love with. She even looks hot first thing in the morning, Kwon thought. And I really don’t need makeup to exercise!

As she did his hair and then some light makeup, Sung chatted with Kwon about his childhood, and shared some details of her own. After she was done with his make-up, Kwon slipped into the outfit his stylist had chosen for him— pink and white sports bra, matching yoga pants, white sneakers with pink laces. All provided, he was informed, by his sponsor, Lulumon.

“You can’t mean for me to go out in public like this?” Kwon said looking at himself in the mirror in just a bra and a pair of leggings that clung to his body like a second skin.

“Of course!” Sung said, fussing with his pony tail. “You look great!” She slapped him on his plump behind.

“Don’t!” Kwon said. “It feels—weird!”

“Okay! Come on, though. You’ll be late!” She went to the closer and pulled out a pink duffle bag.

“Even to the gym?” Kwon.

“You, Miss Ki, are never seen without a fashionable bag! Now, we really can’t be late!”

Kwon wondered how he could be late to running on a treadmill, but he just followed Sung, who walked ahead of him, her make-up bag bouncing on her hip.

When they entered the hotel gym, Kwon understood why so much attention had been paid to his hair and makeup: Professional lighting gear had been set up around one of the treadmills. A fresh faced young woman hurried up and took his hand, leading him to the treadmill. “Miss Hanji,” the woman said. “You look fantastic!

“Your social media specialist,” Sung whispered in Kwon’s ear, hurrying along beside him.

“This is a standard selfie shoot,” the young woman said. You just get on the treadmill and get started, and I snap some pics and get them on Instagram.”

“If it’s a selfie shoot, shouldn’t I take the pictures myself?” Kwon asked.

“Hahaha!” Social Media Specialist said, gently touching his arm. ”You are such an airhead!”

Half a dozen techies milled about pulling cables and testing lights, and Kwon let himself be led to the treadmill, which his social media specialist promptly turned on. “Makeup!” The young woman said.

Kwon started running, and immediately his breasts began to bounce up and down, threatening to hit him in the chin. ‘Um, my boobs?” Kwon said, noticing all the men had frozen in position to stare at him. “Isn’t this bra supposed to hold them in place?

The women all laughed. “Makeup!”  Social Media Specialist repeated.

Sung dusted Kwon’s face, and he started coughing. Then, the social media specialist climbed on a ladder with a professional camera and started snapping pictures. “Smile pretty!”  Behind her, a young man took pictures of her taking pictures of Kwon, and a third man with a moving camera circled both. “So much attention!” Sung said, feeling envious. “He is such a lucky girl!”

Kwon was running awkwardly, not used to his wide hips or the bouncing of his chest, and he draped one arm across his bouncing boobs, trying to hold them in place, while he stuck the other out, fingers raised, trying to counter balance his bobbling body. “Wait!” he cried out. “I feel out of balance!”

“Get your arm down!” The social media specialist shouted. “Stop trying to be cute!”

“I have to be cute!” Kwon yelled back, which brought titters from the people watching.

‘Let them bounce,” Sung whispered. “Just do your arms like normal.”

“Normal?” Kwon whispered back, and Sung just moved her arms like a regular runner. “Normal,” she said.

Kwon followed her advice, ignoring the bouncing of his chest and the tremors it sent through his body, just running like he would, and he found a rhythm that seemed to work.

“Smile pretty! Look at the camera!”

Kwon looked up, smiling as brightly as he could manage.

“There’s my pretty girl!” Social Media specialist sang. “She loves to run, doesn’t she? Yes, she does!”

“Yes!” Kwon said, his pony tail bobbing and swaying. Why is she talking to me like I’m a child? He fumed. I feel like she thinks I’m an idiot! But he remembered his ABC and just smiled as he ran, ignoring the jiggly bounce of his body, as well as the eyes of all the men.

Then, sparks shot out from the treadmill, and flames ignited from the control panel. “Ahhhhhhh!!!!” Kwon screamed, and losing his balance, he tumbled backward, the treadmill hurling him in the air… and right into the arms of a man, who caught him and cradled him in his arms.

“Ki!” He said in a deep voice like the voice of a mountain. “Are you okay?”

He carried Kwon away from the now burning treadmill even as the tech guys ran to get fire extinguishers. The social media specialist had jumped off her ladder and followed, snapping pictures. “Passion! Hot eyes! He just saved you, Miss Hanja! Look at him like you want to pull his shirt off!”

“What?” Kwon said. “I don’t!”

“Just look into my eyes,” the man said. “And remember I am a man, and you are just a little doll.”

“A little doll?” Kwon’s heart flared with rage at the condescension.

“Yes! Yes! So hot!”

“Oh, look at the fire in you little girl!” The man said, carrying Kwon over to a weight bench. He sat down with Kwon on his lap, and he ran his hand up Kwon’s spine, letting it slip beneath the strap of Kwon’s bra.

“Hey!” Kwon said, making a fist, thinking to punch him, but then he remembered his orders, and he started giggling and let a big, bright smile spread across his face. He was trying to think of something cute to say, or else at least resist the urge to break the man’s nose, when an autotuned voice chimed in over the hotel gym sound system.

“You’ve gotten lucky twice, but I’ll; get you yet! Your days are numbered! And—your hair looks terrible! Make yourself pretty for me so I can kill you at your best”

“What?” Kwon shouted, reaching up to pat his hair. He found himself tumbling to the ground, landing on his butt as the man who’d been feeling him up stood up and raised a fist dramatically, glancing to make sure the social media specialist was getting him. “I will protect this helpless girl, you cretin! You will rue the day you dared threaten this delicate flower!”

“So brave!” Social Media Specialist said.

Kwon sat at the man’s feet, staring up at him in rage. “Hey,” he said, tugging on the man’s pants. “You’re a jerk!”

“Ahhhh,” the man said, chuckling as he stepped over Kwon. “Your feelings for me are so powerful you pretend to hate me! Let the games begin!”

“What? No!” But the man just walked away.

Sung hurried up and offered Kwon her hand, pulling him to his feet. He rose too fast and fell into her. Their bodies pressed together, and for a moment he lingered in her arms. Sung felt her heart flutter, and she looked into his big, pretty eyes, and she thought to kiss him, but then Kwon stepped away, tugging at his bra, his pants. “These clothes don’t fit,” he said. “And my butt is too big! I’m fat!” He said.

Sung frowned, disappointed, but then she said, “All girls think they’re fat. But, trust me, you’re perfect.”

“Well, who was that rude man?”

“That rude man,” Sung said, covering her mouth, “was Dong-Yui. He’s your romantic interest in this movie.”

“What?”

“You’ll be kissing him later today!”

‘Kissing? Him?”

“Yup! Now, finish your run, and then I’ll do your makeup.”

“Um, duh, you already did my makeup?” Kwon said, tossing his ponytail.

“Silly girl. That’s your workout look. I have to completely change it for your bubble bath scene! And then we’ll change it again for the scene after that, and the scene after that! It’s going to be so much fun!”

Fun? Kwon thought, climbing on another treadmill.  Sitting around getting makeup put on all day is the opposite of fun! What could be worse? The treadmill started, his breasts started bouncing, all the men froze, staring at him. Oh, yeah, he remembered. This. This is worse!

CHAPTER 13

Kwon crept to the set, wearing a short, pink silk robe with lace trim. It had the name KI embroidered over the breast. Under, he wore some ridiculously tiny scraps of fabric Sung had laughing referred to as a strapless bikini. The set teamed with men, all of whom paused to stare at Kwon as he entered. Kwon was beginning to realize he was a magnet for the eyes of men now.

“Ki! Darling!” Director said, hurrying up to him, putting an arm around his waist and guiding him toward a claw-footed marble bathtub overflowing with bubbles. “You look great, doll. Really fantastic.”

“Thanks, hehehe!” Kwon answered, feeling uncomfortable with the man’s arm around him, pulling Kwon to the man’s side. But he supposed he was expected to like this kind of thing.

“So,” the man said, now turning Kwon to face him, putting his hands on Kwon’s hips. Standing this close, Kwon had to tilt his head way back to meet the man’s eyes, and he desperately wanted to step away, as his bountiful chest stuck out so far it was almost touching the other man’s. “Do you have any questions about the scene?”

“I don’t think so,” Kwon said. “I shave my legs, right? That’s it?”

“That’s it, doll. You got it! Okay. Get in the tub and let’s roll! Places! Places!”

Kwon swallowed. He could sense the anticipation building in the room, everyone watching, pretending they were not watching. Men. Women. He could feel their eyes on him. Untying the belt at his waist, he let the robe slip from his round little shoulder. He heard a collective intake of breath, and then he let the robe drop to the ground, giving the whole crew a vision of his curvaceous brown body, and the tiny strips of his white bikini. I wish they would stop looking at me! He thought, feeling his breasts swaying as he climbed into the tub, hearing a collective sigh from the room. I wonder how they would feel if they knew I was really a man?

Grateful for the modesty they provided, he sank into the bubbles, careful to keep his face and hair above the water. The water was warm, and he relaxed for a moment, closing his eyes, wishing her were on a normal mission, punching people in the face. Everyone got into positions and then the director called “Action!”

Kwon took the razor from the side of the tub, raised one perfectly formed calf from the bubbles, and began to draw the razor along his soft skin. It was a prop razor with no blades, so he just drew it along his already smooth legs, thinking, Acting is so easy. I can’t believe people get paid for this!

“CUT! CUT!” The director screamed. “Reset. Go again.”

He hopped off his director’s chair, ran to the side of the tub and knelt down. “Ki, baby, darling. I need some passion. Sensuality. This is an erotic experience.”

“Shaving my legs? Erotic? Why would that be the case? It’s just something I would have to do to—“

“Honey? Sweetie? Cutie pie? Sensual. Sensuous. Erotic. You can do that right, babe? You can make me happy and give me that? You want to be a good girl, don’t you?”

Kwon gritted his teeth. Why does everyone think they can talk to me like I am stupid? I should punch him right in his nose? But he glanced up to see Sung off to the side, mouthing ABC. So, he swallowed his pride and giggled. “Of course, Director! Of course, you are so correct! Nothing could be more sensuous than shaving my legs! That’s why it is such a joy to be a woman!”

‘Excellent!” The director said. He got up, and walking back to his chair shouted, “She gets it! She gets it!”

Kwon slowed his breathing. Focused his Chi. Just do this. Get it done so you can look for the killer. He looked back at Sung. She nodded and gave him a thumbs up. It made his heart rise to see her there, supporting him, just as she had throughout this ordeal. She was a good friend. He remembered when they had kissed and cuddled, the feeling of her soft skin, her lips. He picked up the razor, and imagining that he was running his fingers along Sung’s smooth calf, he lost himself in that image and moment, recapturing the feelings. Watching on the monitor, the director saw Kwon’s eyes go soft and unfocused, saw the tip of his pink tongue slip along his glossy lips. There was something else there, too, something new.in those green eyes, ringed by long curly lashes, dripping in mascara, and smoky eyeshadow. A hot, blazing spark of—passion?!

He nodded and murmured, Yes! Yes! Now you have captured the erotic joy every woman feels when she shaves her legs to please her man!

When Kwon finished fake shaving his calf, he kept it raised elegantly from the tub, running both hands along his smooth skin, and he started to giggle and smile, throwing his head back and then moaning softly.

The eyes of the men on the crew bulged, and their mouth fell open.

“Cut! Yes! Yes! Brilliant!” Director shouted. “Moving on!” He jumped from his chair and ran over to the tub. Assistants had run over as well, and they helped Kwon out of the tub and then began to towel him off. “You steamed the set up good, little bunny! Love it! Love it!” And then he wrapped his arms around Kwon and hugged him right, crushing their bodies together.

Kwon resisted the urge to knee the man in the nuts, but remembering his mission, he just hugged back, saying, “I am glad you are pleased with me!”

The director’s hands slipped down to cup Kwon’s butt, and he squeezed and lifted, whispering in Kwon’s ear, “You dirty girl!” Then the hug ended, and he walked away, leaving Kwon standing there with his mouth gaping open, eyes wide.

“Did you see that?” Kwon squeaked in rage when Sung walked up to him.

“What?”

“The director. He—he just grabbed my butt like it belonged to him!”

“You’re a pretty girl. What do you expect?” Sung said, fussing with Kwon’s hair.

“Um, some respect, maybe?”

Sung just laughed. “You’re such an airhead,” she said. “Now, let’s go. I have to do your hair and make-up for the next scene.”

CHAPTER 14

Sung opened the door for Kwon, and before he could even enter he heard a loud, “Buuuurrrrppppp.” Peeking into the room, he saw Ki siting on the bed, her legs spread, a big grin on her face. “Did you here that? I am working hard on burping loudly like a boy!” She wore baggy, faded jeans, a baggy flannel shirt over a baggy t-shirt and a baseball cap turned to the side, plus her chin still featured the same fake stubble.

“Hahahaha! He’s such a cut up!” Sung said.

Kwon moved daintily into the room. Ki boldly let her eyes drift up and down his body, and he bashfully pulled his tiny little pink rove closed over his cleavage. “You are a vision, an angel, a woman of pure radiant beauty,” Ki said.

Kwon tossed his hair and giggled, his knees going weak and pressing together. “Stop!” He said, but he found Ki impossibly attractive, even dressed as a boy, and compliments sent shivers down his spine.

“I can’t,” Ki said, standing, scratching her butt, the burping again. “You make me hungry like the wolf! He crossed the room to Kwon, slipped his arms around Kwon and dipped him, then pulled him back to his feet and gave him a twirl,

Kwon giggled, his head sparking and short circuiting with a mass of confusing emotions, and as he twirled he felt his hair floating around his head, felt his robe coming open and floating around his-- “eeeeeeiiiiiii!” he cried out in embarrassment, pulling his robe closed.

“Hahaha! Doll, you have nothing to be ashamed of!” Ki said in a gruff voice.

“Pardon, young man,” Sung said, “but Miss Hanja must get ready for her next scene.”

“Oh, of course,” Ki said, tossing herself back on the bed. “Please. By all means.”

“Just keep the robe on while I do your make-up, miss,” Sung said.

Kwon knelt into the stool, keeping his knees together, head up.

“Bravo,” Ki said from the bed. “You are turning into such a graceful girl!”

“Haha. Thanks!” Kwon said, feeling both delighted that Ki liked him and approved of his work and also ashamed that she was praising him for being a graceful girl.

Sung cleaned off Kwon’s workout look, and then began to apply new makeup for his next scene. Kwon sat passively, his legs together, hands in his lap. Glancing in the mirror, he saw Ki on the bed, her chin in her hands, watching intently as Sung finished applying his foundation. He glanced away, then glanced back, to see her staring. Sung got out her eyebrow pencil and started to shade in his eyebrows, and this time when Kwon looked, his eyes met Ki’s and she had a hard, hungry look in her eyes that sent a jolt through Kwon’s body. “What?” Kwon asked, his voice cracking. “Why are you staring at me?”

“I love seeing you like this, so passive, so feminine as your face is painted, enhancing your beauty. It is a joy to watch you the very embodiment of everything a girl should be!”

Kwon could find no words, he just stared back, totally freaking out at everything he had just heard.

“You are such the flatterer,” Sung said. “For the first time in her life, she is speechless!”

“Well,” Ki said, “I am also quite glad it is she who has to sit there for all that. It’s so much easier being a boy!”

“That, I can agree with,” Kwon said.

“How would you know?” Ki said.

“Oh, um, I mean, from what I can see! Heeheeee!”

“Yes, of course. Now, just sit there pretty and let me watch you.”

Ki stayed until Sung had finished with Kwon’s face, topping it all off with a wet, pink lipstick that made his lips seem even bigger and more kissable than ever. Then, saying she wanted to shoot some pool, she headed off, burping once more and slamming the door.

“She’s really getting into this whole boy thing, isn’t she?” Kwon said.

“Yes, and she is so good at it! It must be fun for her now to experience all the freedom of being a young man after spending her whole life imprisoned in the cage of femininity.”

“Which, meanwhile, has me captured and suffering!”

“Oh, poor girl! Here’s a magazine to read while I do your hair.”

“Cosmo?” Kwon said looking at the cover of the women’s magazine he’d been handed. There was an actress on the cover, and the thought crossed Kwon’s mind that he was prettier than her. Then he looked at the headlines. “60 Sex Tips? How to Look Good Naked? What to do when your man gets quiet? Are these women all obsessed with sex?”

“Just like guys!” Sung said, brushing his hair out. “Now, read up! As a glamorous young woman, you need to be up on the latest in female culture!”

“Am I going to have to learn all about who’ dating who, who got engaged, who’s having a baby?” Kwon said, rolling his eyes and opening the magazine.

“Yes,” Sung said. “Yes, you are.”

‘I was kidding.”

“I’m not.”

As she worked on his hair and Kwon skimmed through his women’s magazine, Sung asked him about his parents. His father had died when he was young, and he’d been raised by his mother and grandmother. Hmmmmnnnm Sung thought. A mother and two sisters. So, Kwon was raised in a house of all girls! Very interesting. She told him about her parents, and she enjoyed a growing sense that they were really getting to know each other.

For his next scene, Kwon found himself dressed in a short little floral dress that once more seemed too small and too tight. He was given a clunky, Tori Burch purse in a kind of tangerine color, and hoop earrings that bounced against his cheeks when he moved. His hair had been put up in a top bun, though loose strands had been left to frame his face. Of course, he found himself perched on pair of stiletto heeled pumps.

“Cute as a button!” Sung said, surveying him as he stood in front of a three-way mirror, turning side to side in his heels, his purse hooked under his arm.

“This dress makes my butt look big!” Kwon said, looking at his profile and not liking at all the way it flared out from the small of his back.

. “The dress does not make your butt look big,” Sung said.

“Are you sure?” Kwon answered. “It looks big to me.”

“The dress does not make your butt look big,” Sung repeated, and then she giggled. “The fact is, miss, that your butt IS big!”

“Shut up!” Kwon said, brushing a strand of hair away from his eyes with a long, pink fingernail. Just then, there was a frantic knock on the door, and three young women burst in with racks of clothing.

“We need to get these outfits pressed and perfect for later shoots,” they said.  “Help us!”

“Of course,” Sung said, and the three plunged into their work.

“Um, should I kelp?” Kwon said, standing off to the side with his purse.

The women all laughed.

“What’s so funny?”

“Sweetie,” Sung said. “You are a glamorous movie star! You don’t work.”

“So, what should I do?”

“Sit there, look pretty, and embody femininity?”

“Arrrgghhhh!” Kwon said, stomping a foot. “I’m going to the set!” He spun in his heels and sashayed out the door, defiantly swinging his hips.

“Such a drama queen!” One of the assistants said.

“You have no idea,” Sung said, laughing. “No idea!”

Kwon did not go to the set, but instead he went back to the gym. As he walked along, he felt men constantly looked at him, and he fumed once more that they all seemed to think they were entitled to enjoy his body. It also felt like his panties were riding up into places he did not find comfortable, but he’d been warned sternly about making any unladylike gestures in public, so it just became one more thing he would have to deal with.

Once at the gym, he went to the melted and twisted remained of the treadmill that had caught fire. Surely there would be some clue? Other hotel guests were scattered around the room, either working in machines or running on the other treadmills. Kwon got the usual looks, and he sighed, thinking it was very hard to be inconspicuous when you are a beautiful young woman!

It was much harder to squat and examine the treadmill in his heels and dress, and Kwon bristled at the number of times he’d seen female detectives dressed in such ridiculous clothes on movies and tv shows. Heels make no sense at all, he thought. I don’t understand why we do this to ourselves?

Along the base of the treadmill, he found the remains of small, incendiary devices, and followed a wire up to the control panel. Being careful not to break a nail, he pried the cover off, and inside he found a receiver that would have been used to trigger the detonation. Kwon recognized the make and model: It was a Hokika TG-45, a short-range receiver mostly used for construction purposes that—

Wait. Short range?

He thought about being thrown right into arms of Dung-Yui. How convenient that he just happened to be here when the machine exploded! Kwon grabbed his purse strap and tilted his head to the side. “Yes, the voice of the autotuned killer could have been recorded. But what motive would Dong-Yui have?” Kwon wasn’t sure, but he felt excited to have his first clue, and he clapped his hands then pumped his fist. Glancing at the tiny, delicate little diamond, lady’s watch on his tiny wrist, he saw he was due on set in only six minutes and with a sharp intake of breath, he hurried from the gym.

As he left, the eyes of every man fell to his shapely backside, and smiles crept across their faces.

Kwon was too busy trying to walk fast in his stilettos, feeling his body bouncing and jiggling, his hips swaying. He’d gotten a little used to walking in heels, but trying to hurry in heels was a whole other matter, and he found himself wobbling at times, losing and regaining his balance. The shoot was one floor below, and he plunged into the stairwell, then stopped, realizing he didn’t know for sure how to take stairs in stiletto heels.

Finally, he just slipped them off, and holding them with one hand, clutching his purse strap with the other, he hurried down the stairs, slammed through the metal stairwell door, then rushed down the hall to the room where they would be shooting, running and slipping back into his heels as he came bouncing onto the set calling out, “Sorry I’m late!” In a high, pretty voice, only to trip over a cable that snaked across the floor, tumble into the craft services table and cause a carton of cream to fly into the air, spinning in circles, streams of white, sticky cream spiraling through the air—Kwon looked up, his eyes wide, to see the carton of cream, the tendrils of milk spiraling out from it, heading directly toward Dong-Yui, who’d been standing near craft service nibbling on a bagel while talking to some young actresses.

”Nooooooooo!” Kwon cried out as the carton spun through the air, little droplets of milk now breaking off from the bigger tendrils, little droplets that now splattered across Dong’s face, followed by the large tendrils that slapped him, then began to drip down his chin and into his silk suit, just as the carton bopped him against the head and bounced right into the hands of one of the young actresses.

Dong looked at Kwon, who was sprawled against the craft table, his legs splayed out to either side.  “Miss Hanja,” he said in a deep voice.

“Oh, no!” Kwon said, his cheeks burning with shame. “I’m so sorry!” He grabbed some napkins from the table and ran up to Dong, wiping at the cream on his suit. “It was an accident! I swear! I was running, and putting on my heels, and then the cable and UH OH and then the carton just like went I’ll just fly through the air and—“

“Miss Hanji,” Dong said, taking his hand and kissing it. “No need to apologize. You are madly in love with me, and anyone who has seen a romantic comedy knows that love makes girls awkward and silly. Clumsy. You can’t help but embarrass yourself around me because I am so handsome, and you are so in love with me!”

“Um, not really?” Kwon said, taken aback, annoyed. “I just accidently….”

“You don’t have to deny it,” Dong said. “I can see it in your every clumsy pratfall.”

Kwon clenched his fist and once more considered punching this arrogant man, but then he saw Sung jump into the frame behind Dong, and she made an A with her fingers. Then a B. Then a C. Kwon pushed his anger and annoyance deep down and giggled. “Hahah! Whenever I am around you I can’t seem to stop myself from doing something silly! Hahaha!”

Dong nodded. “The game continues. Now, I must go and get a new suit.” He took Kwon’s chin in his hand and tilted his head back, then squeezed. “I can’t wait to kiss the hell out of you.” Then, he put his arms around the waists of the two girls he’d been talking to and walked away.

Kwon stood there holding the sopping paper towels in his hands, seething. He flirts with me, then goes off with two other girls? Cad!

CHAPTER 15

Kwon stood still as Sung checked his make-up. Amiga seemed to emerge from the shadows, smirking. “Ready for the big kissing scene?”  Amiga said, letting his eyes drop to Kwon’s chest.

“I’m up here!” Kwon said.

“And down here,” Amiga answered.

“Perv!”

“I have never denied it! I think I will go out and have a smoke before your big scene! It’s going to be so much fun watching you smooch.”

“Go away,” Sung said, waving her makeup brush at Amiga. “Miss Hanja needs to focus!”

Amiga coughed as the foundation powder got into his nose. “Fine! Fine!” Sung kicked him in the butt, and he said, “I’m going! I’m going!”

“Thanks,” Kwon said, touching her on the arm.

“He is such a rude man,” Sung said, giving Kwon a touch back.

***

Kwon walked down a hallway in the hotel, his head down as he tapped out a text message on his phone, his heels clicking on the marble floor. People milled all around him; tourists pulling luggage, maids pushing carts, cooks carrying platers of food. In what looked like an elaborate dance, they all managed to twirl and juke and dodge and sidestep Kwon, who obliviously scampered down the hall, smiling and repeatedly calling out, “omigod!” as he tapped on his phone, and somehow his chirping omigods always seemed to correspond with a waiter managing to dodge him while carrying a tray full of champagne flutes, or Kwon stepping over a puppy without even realizing he almost stepped on it.

He had his white earphones on, his tangerine purse tucked under his shoulder, and was the perfect vision of a happy young woman as she almost walked into a pane of glass two overall wearing workers carried, but which at the last minute they managed to lift over his head so he could walk on oblivious to the chaos he was creating as he texted, his head bopping to the  beat as Orange Carmel sang “Lipstick.”

Whomp! Kwon suddenly ran into something very, very solid, and tottered on his stiletto heels, almost falling over, but then the man he’d run into grabbed Kwon’s arm and steadied him. Kwon’s mouth dropped open as he looked at a broad, flat man’s chest in a white shirt and black tie. His eyes got wider as he looked up and saw a square, cleft chin. His eyes got even wider as he looked up and saw an angry pair of dark eyes, and the furrowed brow of Dong Yui.

“Eeeeieieeeeeeeiiiiii!” He screamed. “Mr. Tech! I am so sorry!”

“Remove your ear covers when you speak to me!” Mr. Tech said, in a gruff, stern voice.

“What did you say? I can’t hear you!” Kwon said, smiling, giggling. “My music is too loud!”

Mr. Tech huffed and removed the headphones from Kwon’s ears, letting them drop to his shoulders. “I said to remove ear covers.”

“Oh! Sorry! Um, I think I better go before I—“

He started to turn, but Mr. Tech grabbed his tiny little arm and pulled Kwon to him so their bodies touched. Kwon felt his soft, round body press against Dong Yui’s hard, flat body. He looked down, embarrassed, but Dong took his chin and tilted his face back, forcing Kwon to look up into his dark eyes.

“I want you back,” Dong said. “I need you in my life!”

“It can’t be!” Kwon whispered. “My father will never approve!”

“Then we will marry without his approval!”

“No, no!” Kwon said, pushing against Dong’s chest, trying to get away from him. “I don’t love you!”

“You are lying!” Dong said, his hands on Kwon’s hips.

“It’s the truth!” Kwon said, “I never—“

Then Dong came in and planted his lips on Kwon’s. Kwon struggled, trying to push the man away, but he was too strong, too big, and something more--  Kwon stopped fighting, and then he leaned into Dong, pressing himself more fully into the man’s strong, lean body, and Kwon met the kiss, his leg popping up as he squeezed Dong’s bicep.

The kiss ended, and Kwon collapsed against Dong, staring up into the man’s eyes.

“Do you deny it now? Do you dare deny your love for me?” Dong ran the back of his hand along Kwon’s smooth, soft cheek.

“No,” Kwon whispered. “I can’t. I surrender.”

“So, you will marry me?”

“Just tell me what to do,” Kwon. “I need you to be strong for me.”

“Cut! Cut!” The director shouted, jumping from his chair.

“You were so cute,” Dong said, keeping his hands on Kwon’s hips. “You really know how to kiss! And with those big, soft lips of yours—“

“Ugh!” Kwon said, pulling himself from the man’s grip and stepping away. Then, he thought, thank goodness that’s over.

“Reset,” the director said. “We’ll take it from ‘It’s the truth.’”

“Pardon?” Kwon said, his face melting into a frown.

“We’re reshooting the kissing scene,” Director said.

“But you said it was great!”

“It was, doll” the director said, walking up to Kwon, “but I want more passion!”

“I have to kiss him again?”

“And more like you mean it.”

Kwon frowned. The director slipped an arm around his waist and pulled Kwon to his side. “Come on, honey. I know you have more in you than you just showed. You’ve—your character-- has been fighting your passions for this stud for a long time, and now you suddenly break, and you surrender to your nature as a little female who just wants a strong man to protect her! I need to see all that in your eyes, and in your leg lift, in the way you fall into his strong arms!”

“Can’t we just use the first take?” Kwon said, wishing the director would let him go, not liking the feeling of being held and controlled by this man. “I – mmm—have a headache?”

The Director laughed. “You are such a funny little airhead! Good thing your head is attached to your neck or it would float away!”

“Heehehehe,” Kwon tittered, hiding his rage. “But, seriously, can we just go with the one take?”

The Director now turned Kwon to face him and then bent his knees, coming down so he looked Kwon right in the eyes. He put his hands on Kwon’s shoulders. “I need you to do as many takes as I request. Now, you can be a good girl and do that for me, right?” The Director said.

“Yes, Director,” Kwon said softly, seeing Sung behind the director, nodding. “Whatever you ask.”

“Good, girl! You look really pretty by the way!” He pushed some of Kwon’s hair away from his face, briefly cupped his cheek. “You’re such a little doll!” Then, the director walked away, calling out, “Places! We’re going again!”

‘You said you wanted a challenge!” Amiga called.

“Idiot!” Kwon said, getting back in position.  I will kill him for this

Kwon got back into position, his body pressed against Dong, staring up into the tall, rugged man’s eyes. He thought about his last morning with Sung, about holding her in his arms, kissing her, enjoying her mouth on his. At the time she had seemed like just another hook up, another summer breeze, but she’d been more he now realized, glancing over to see her giving him a thumbs up.

The cameras rolled, the lights lit, the sound people called check check check…  lips touching, bodes pressing  Kwon imagined her was kissing Sung, and he felt his fingertips tingle as his lips met Dong’s…take 2, take 3, kissing, hands on his behind.. giggles take 4 take 5… kissing, lips, tongue! Take 6 and take 7… leg flip… whispers… make up! Hair! Takes 8 and 9… lips, bodies, the warmth of Dung’s mouth… Kwon’s body doing strange things, his legs hurting from all the time standing in heels.. take 10 and 11--- kissing kissing…imagining Sung, feeling his skin tingle, feeling something inside him tighten, feeling his heart rising, filling with some strange new feeling as he kissed Dong and imagined that big, handsome man was Sung… “Oh!” Kwon gasped as the kiss ended, feeling like something inside him had unrolled and warm water was flowing all through his body, and he licked his lips with his pink tongue as his eyes grew hazy, and he pressed his body against Dong, clinging to him as his knees went weak.

“Got it! Moving on!” The director called out. The crew actually started whistling, cat calling and clapping. Kwon wanted to crawl into a dark hole and disappear.

Dong put a hand on Kwon’s hip and said, “Wow! You kiss like a porn star!”

The rage boiled up in Kwon, and he clenched his fists, but Sung appeared at his side, taking his arm. “Hair and makeup for Miss Hanja! So sorry!”

Dong watched the two women walk away, smiling to himself. That little minx wants me so bad it scares her! I will have to sleep with her before the shoot is over.

CHAPTER 16

“You looked like you were enjoying yourself!” Amiga said, following Kwon and Sung as they headed back to his room. “Ooooooohhhhhh, I love kissing men! Yum!”

Kwon turned, his face twisted in rage, but Sung put a hand on his shoulder. “There are people watching,” she whispered.

Kwon focused his chi, calmed his breath, brought a smile to his face and put his hands to his cheeks. “Kissing boys is fun!” He giggled. “Especially when they are so tall and have such nice smiles! Hehehehe!”

Amiga almost double-over laughing.

Kwon heard some of the people in the hall talking. “She is so cute! Adorable! She’s like a human Porg!”

“You are adorable!” Amiga said, chuckling as he looked at his phone. “Hahaha!”

“Amiga,” Sung said. “You are a rude, uncouth man!”

Amiga, still staring at his phone, said, “Lies! I am the couthiest man there ever was!”

‘Couthiest isn’t a word,” Kwon said.

“Okay. Okay. Whatever you say, Miss Kissy kissy pooh bunny.” Suddenly, Amiga felt a sting as a hand slapped him across the face, and then another slapped the phone out of his hands. “Hey!”

Amiga looked up to see Sung standing in combat position, her fists clenched.

“Sung!” Kwon called, clutching his purse nervously.

”I told you to leave us alone!” Sung said, her eyes dark with murderous intent. “Miss Hanja is a lady, and she is not to be ridiculed.”

Amiga looked like he was about to fight back, dropping into his own combat stance, but then Sung added, “especially by her limo driver. I wonder how your boss will feel if he hears about this?”

“Fine,” Amiga said, going to retrieve his phone. “You better hope this isn’t broken.”

“Come on,” Sung said, taking Kwon’s arm and leading him into the elevator.

“Thank you,” Kwon said. He could see himself in the elevator mirror, and it still surprised him to see the Ki standing there, to know that he was now that gorgeous young woman in her floral print dress, clutching her purse defensively. “I could break him in two if only---”

“You must remain the cute, adorable movie star!” Sung said. “And I am so proud of you for the amazing job you are doing! That couldn’t have been easy doing all those kissing scenes!” She toyed with his hair as she spoke.

“I-- well, I was thinking of you,” Kwon whispered, looking down, feeling bashful. “The last time we kissed.” He had never felt so vulnerable, and as soon as he spoke the words he wished he could take them back. Surely, seeing him here in a woman’s shape, she would be appalled and think he was a pervert?

“Oh?” Sung said, putting her hand to her heart. “Me? But, Kwon, I thought—”

The doors to the elevator hissed open, and a pair of business men with name tags and briefcases entered the elevator as Kwon and Sung exited. Their eyes flowed up and down Kwon’s body.

They walked down the hall, “What were you going to say?” Kwon said. “You thought?”

They reached the door, and Kwon turned to face Sung, his back to the door. “I thought, I don’t know how to say this, but I—well.---” She slipped the pass card into the door and pushed it open, reaching her arms around Kwon to do so. Their bodies brushed against one another.

Kwon felt something in him melt, and looked into Sung;s eyes, he put his hands on her hips and said, “I know this may seem strange, and maybe I am a fool, but I think I’m falling—”

“Look out!” Sung shouted, pushing Kwon who toppled over and fell to the ground, glancing up through the tumbling of his hair to see Sung dodging as a guillotine swung out from his room and planted itself into the wall opposite his room.

“Omigod!” Kwon said from the floor, pulling his long hair from his face. “Are you okay?”

Sung, sprawled out on the floor, nodded, “You?” Kwon nodded. They crawled to each other and hugged.

“The blade of love missed its mark!” Autotune warbled. “But trust me that doesn’t dim the spark of my hate! You will die! And that dress makes you look fat! Hahahahaha!” Autotune shouted form over the hotel sound system.

“You know nothing of fashion!” Kwon shouted, shaking his fist at the speaker.

“Come on,” Sung said, helping Kwon to his feet, where he wobbled, looking down to realize he’d broken a heel. “That jerk! Let’s get down to the office right away and investigate right away! I want to find out how he is tapping into the sound system!” Kwon said, kicking his pumps off, rubbing his feet.

“First, we need to put you in a new outfit,” Sung said, taking his hand and pulling him into his room.

“What? No! The clues will have grown cold!”

“People have already seen you in this ensemble,” Sung said. “And your make-up is for filming. You can’t be seen walking around the hotel in your costume and with your movie face. It simply won’t do!”

“Arrrghhhhh!” Kwon said. “The rules for fashionable young women are impossible! Fine!”  He reached back, trying to undue the buttons on his dress, but could only manage one of them. “Help me out of this then! Hurry! Why does being a woman have to be so much work?”

“That is a very good question,” Sung said, moving behind Kwon to unbutton the back of his dress so he could step out of it. ‘Now, let’s find you something pretty to wear.”

“Can it be pants?” Kwon said. “I am sick of wearing dresses!”

CHAPTER 17

“Maybe I should stick with dresses?” Kwon said, looking at himself in the mirror wearing a pair of ripped jeans that looked like they had been painted onto his curvy body, accentuating his heart shaped rear as well hugging his rounded legs and celebrating most embarrassingly for him, his thigh gap. He wore a too small tank top with a picture of Princess Leia on it that read, “Don’t Mess with the Princess” that not only left his lime green bra straps exposed, but also a little bit of his ample swelling of side boob.

On his feet he wore knee length stiletto boots with all kinds of buckles and straps, and, of course, he had an off-white Kate Spade purse with little pink bunny ears slung over his slender little shoulder.

“You said you wanted to wear pants!” Sung said, tying Kwon’s hair into pigtails using little hair ties shaped like flowers.

“I am not wearing these pants,” Kwon said, tugging at the stretchy fabric. “They are wearing me!”

“You are so funny!”

They both felt embarrassed now about what they had been about to say, the depth of the feelings they’d been about to reveal. Each was hoping the other would be first to return to the subject.

How could she be attracted to me now? Kwon thought, looking at the woman he’d become in the mirror, thinking about Sung watching him kissing a man over and over and over. I am not a man, and I never will be one in her eyes again! I am standing here wearing a bra—and I need one! How could I think she would love me?

Even as a girl, I find him the most fascinating man! Sung thought. He is such a skilled agent he even manages to make living as a glamorous actress look easy! I can barely imagine such a task! He is a star and I am just a regular agent of no particular distinction! How could I imagine such a superior person could be interested in me? She looked at him standing there perched on his heels, one hand on a rounded hip, turning in his heels, examining himself. A vision of feminine perfection. He is even a better woman than I am, more graceful and feminine than I’ve ever been!

“These clothes look like something from the closet of a 12-year-old!” Kwon objected. “I thought I was supposed to look cute, not immature!” Sung had done his make-up in lighter, pastel colors, and he even thought his face looked more girlish now than it had for his kissing and bathtub scenes.

“Cute and immature go hand in hand, honey,” Sung said. “Men are attracted to women who seem young, naïve, submissive. And that,” she said, turning Kwon to face himself in the mirror, “is you, Miss Hanja.”

“I’d like to see them walk around in heels all day,” Kwon mumbled, toying with one of his pigtails.

“Well, then you are your own wish come true!”

“Har. Har. Let’s find the Autotune idiot, so I can get out of this body and wear comfortable shoes again!”

“Let’s!”

They went downstairs to the office and Sung asked the manager if they could see the studio where the inhouse videos and voice announcements got made. “I am sorry,” the man said. “Staff only.”

“We’ll just be a minute,” Sung said. “We won’t touch anything.”

“I’m very sorry.” Sung started to turn away, giving Kwon a shrug, like, at least we tried?

Kwon stepped forward, letting a smile blossom on his pretty face. When he spoke, he let his voice slip into an even higher range on the tea-kettle spectrum. “Um, golly, it would mean so much to me if you would let me look around in there?” He pulled his shoulders back, letting his breasts stretch out against Princess Leia’s face, and then put a finger in his mouth, letting the manager see a little flash of his wet tongue behind his bubble gum pink lips.

“Um,” the manager said, his voice suddenly gone hoarse. “I, well…”

‘Pretty please?” Kwon said, batting his eye lashes and giving the manager’s forearm a squeeze. “You’d be my hero?” Then, he liked his lips.

“YES!” The manager blurted out, just then realizing he’d been holding his breath. “Yes. Right this way! Of course, ladies! Of course!” The girls at the counter shook their heads derisively, thinking, men!

As soon as the door to the little studio closed, the manager having left Kwon and Sung alone, Sung high-fived Kwon. “Impressive!” She said. “I didn’t know you had it in you!”

“Well, if I’m stuck with these for now,” he said, gesturing down at his chest. “I might as well use them to my advantage!”

“That a girl!” Sung said, and they both giggled. “You almost gave that manager a heart attack!”

“I know, right?” Kwon thought. “I hope he takes his heart medicine!”

They started looking around, quickly finding a remote device wired under the control panels, which allowed the Autotune Killer to control the systems. Like the explosive remote, it had a limited range. “I bet we could start to narrow the search parameters by seeing where the ranges overlap!” Kwon said.

‘Clever girl!” Sung answered, giving Kwon another high-five. “Let’s get back to the room and do it!”

They opened the door to the room, made their way down the hall to the reception desk and then froze as a wall of girls began to scream. “Oh, no!” Kwon said.

“This is why you always have to look your best!” Sung whispered in his ear while she fiddled with his pigtails. “Go meet your public, Miss Hanja!”

Kwon plastered a huge smile on his face, walked out to the wall of screams and smiles, flashed a peace sign and giggled, “I love you all so much!”

These girls are sweet, he thought, as he signed autographs and posed for pictures. They are all so positive and loving, so full of good energy. I’m pretty lucky to have such sweet, devoted fans! I mean, Ki is lucky, he corrected, and then he shrugged and thought—well, for now they are mine, so I am the lucky one!

CHAPTER 18

“Done!”  Kwon said, giving his fans one last peace sign before spinning in his heels and marching away. “Now to find Autotune and get out of here!”

“Right! No one can stop us now!”

“Doll! Doll!” The Director called chasing behind them.

“Ugh,” Kwon moaned.

“Be cute!” Sung whispered.

Kwon turned, smiling brightly, and started playing with one of his pigtails. “Director!” he squealed. “Such a pleasant surprise!”

“Yes. Well,” he said, letting his eyes drop to Kwon’s chest, then scan the rest of his body. “It is always a pleasure to see you, doll.”

“Hehehehe!” Kwon said, skin crawling, thinking I wish I could punch him right in his stupid face! “Do you need something, Director?”

“Yes. I need to talk about tomorrow’s shoot.” He slipped his arm around Kwon’s waist. Sung started to follow, but Director said, “You can go.”

Why do these men think they can just put their arms around me whenever they want?Kwon thought, feeling gross.

“I’ll see you back at the room, Miss Hanja!” Sung called, feeling concerned. Well, surely Kwon could handle the Director, she thought. He is a grown woman!

The director walked Kwon back to his own room. “You have read the script?” The director said.

“Of course.”

“Well, tomorrow we will shoot the scene where you make lo Jack Action, the boy who saves you from Mr. Tech’s unwanted advances and helps you start your own poodle grooming business.”

“Yes, of—wait.  Tomorrow? Love making scene?”

“Yes. We had to rearrange the shooting schedule a bit!”

Director opened his door and put a hand on the small of Kwon’s back, guiding him into the room. It was dark, with some candles burning on side tables. “Candles?”

“Yes,” Director said. “It’s so stressful on set, I find I need total calm and relaxation in my room. Don’t you?”

“I prefer light,” Kwon said, forcing a giggle. But, when he reached for the light switch, the director took him by the wrist and led him into the room, past several chairs and to a couch.

“Sit. Please.”

“Okay,” Kwon said giggling as he tried to slip past Director to one of the chairs, but Director put his hands on Kwon’s shoulders and pushed him down on the couch.

“Now, wine?” Director said.

Kwon looked to the door, thinking about bolting. The whole thing seemed quite creepy, but surely he was just imagining things? Director wouldn’t be so crude? I feel rude even thinking such thoughts!  Kwon decided. I must be polite and professional. “I don’t drink alcohol,” Kwon said, remembering his role. “It’s bad for my skin.”

“And such lovely skin,” Director said, nevertheless returning with two glasses of wine. He sat on the couch right next to Kwon, their bodies touching.

Kwon giggled and scooted away to the armrest, but the director shifted closer. He handed Kwon the glass of wine, then brushed one of his pigtails back over his shoulder. “Your eyes, Ki. You have the most beautiful eyes.”

“Hehehe. Um, did you say you wanted to talk about the scene, Director?” Kwon said, putting the glass of wine down on the table.

“Yes. The scene. You will be offering yourself to a man. Tell me how that feels.”

“How, um, what feels?”

“That moment when you surrender,” Director said in a low, husky voice. “When you realize that a man is too strong, too powerful, and that you must give in to his desire. You must give your body to him and let him to what he will with it.” He put his hand on Kwon’s need and squeezed.

“Oh! Look at the time!” Kwon said, looking at the three watches he wore as bracelets. I have to go and—and--- um--- get my eyebrows plucked!” He started to stand, but Director grabbed him and kissed him right on the mouth.

“Get off me!” Kwon shouted, shoving Director away. He got to his feet and grabbed his purse and swung it, hitting Director on the head. He raced toward the door as fast as he could trot in his stiletto heels, but Director cut him off.

“I need you,” Director said. “I have to taste of your honey!”

“What? Gross!” Kwon tried to run around Director, but Director grabbed him and pushed him against a wall, pinning one of Kwon’s arms above his head.  “Stop!” Kwon said, now upset and growing angry and afraid. “You’re disgusting!”

“Please,” Director said, touching Kwon’s face. “Just one kiss!”

“Find some other girl, you perv!”

“I don’t want just any girl,” Director said, pressing his body against Kwon’s. Kwon, with one arm pinned and his body pressed into the wall, had never felt so vulnerable and afraid. But he kept hearing the phrase Always Be Cute running through his mind, and he couldn’t figure a cute way out of the situation. Plus, Director was his boss, and what would happen if he made an enemy of him?

“Let me go?” Kwon said. “Please, Director. There are plenty of other girls for you!”

“I only want you,” Director said. “It’s not just your body. It’s the passionate woman I see inside! “

“Woman inside?” Kwon shook his head. “I think you are mistaken!”

“You showed me a new side of yourself today, and I am now madly in love with you!” He moved in for another kiss.

Kwon could easily have used his training to escape. Director had left himself wide open, so to speak, and Kwon imagined kneeing him the balls, karate chopping him on the beck and then smashing him face first into the coffee table. But he couldn’t. It wasn’t cute, and it might get Ki into real trouble. What to do? What to do? Director’s puckered lips grew closer and closer…

“I’m on the rag!” Kwon said just before their lips touched.

“Whhhaaaaaar?” Director shrieked, stepping back. “Now who’s being gross?”

“Hahaha. Sorry. Yeah. I’m having my period right now! It’s a really bad one, too. There are even chunks ----”

“Ahhhhhhhhh! NO details! Go! Please!”

“But what about the woman inside me? Don’t you want to==”

“Good meeting! I will see you tomorrow.”

Kwon hugged his purse to his body, hurried to the door and let himself out. Slamming the door shut behind him, he gasped, putting his fingers to his lips. Pig! Kwon thought, fighting tears.  Who does he think he is? He started to go back into the room, punch Director in the face, but then he just wanted to get back to his room and try to forget the whole thing ever happened.

He hurried back to the lobby and waited for an elevator. As the elevator reached the floor, the doors opened and four tall men wearing cowboy hats saw him. Their eyes dance over his body. “I’ll wait for the next one!” Kwon squeaked, pushing the call button.

“Come on it, darling,” one of the men said with a tip of his hat. “We won’t bite!”

Kwon felt that same gross feeling. He just really couldn’t deal with men right now. “No, thanks!”

The men just laughed, exchanging glances, and getting in their last looks at Kwon in his jeans and tank top.

“Ugh!” Kwon thought. It had been a long day of being a woman, and finally giving into his pent-up frustration and rage he turned and punched the wall opposite the elevator, smashing a hole in it. His bracelets got stuck in the plaster, and when he pulled his hand out they ripped more wall out, leaving a gaping hole. “Oh, no!” Kwon thought, seeing that the clasps on one of his pretty bracelets had broken.

The doors to the elevator opened once more. A family—husband, wife and two boys—stood, looked at the hole in the wall, at Kwon picking junks of plaster out of his bracelet, back at the hole.

“Haha. I had a long day!” Kwon said, getting onto the elevator.

The little boys looked up at him, wide eyed. “Are you Wonder Woman?” One of the asked.

Kwon handed the boy a little chunk of plaster. “Yes,” Kwon said, looking at his reflection in the mirror and reflecting on what he’d faced that day. “I am Wonder Woman!”

CHAPTER 19

When Kwon got back to the room, he found Sung there with the laptop. “I have identified the lair of the Autotune Killer!” She announced excitedly.

Kwon’s calves barked and begged him to rest for the night, but thinking of the love making scene facing him the next day, he pumped his fist and said, “Let’s get him!” He turned to the door.

“There’s something we need to do first,” Sung said, going to the closet.

“I am not changing outfits again!” Kwon whined, stomping one of his little, booted feet. “I’m not! I’m not!”

Sung came out of the closet carrying a metal weapons case. “Don’t lose your panties!” We just need to arm ourselves.” She opened the case and quickly assembled a pistol, which she shoved into the waistband of her pants, pulling her shirt over it. Then she retrieved throwing stars, a knife and a boomerang, all of which she concealed around her body.

“Where’s my gun?” Kwon said, feeling suddenly inadequate.

“The sweet, adorable Miss Ki Hanja does not believe in violence!” Sung teased, digging down deeper into the weapons case. ”For you, we have these.”  She held out a pink, heart shaped lipstick and a panda bear on a key chain.

“Very funny,” Kwon said. “Now, where’s my gun?”

Sung smiled. “This cute lipstick is actually mace!” She said. “And this adorable teddy bear? When you press his tummy---“

“He turned into a gun?” Kwon said.

“No, silly girl! He makes an alarm so big, strong men can come and save you!”

Kwon crossed his arms and slit his eyes. “So even when we are attacked, we are expected to be cute?”

“Of course, sweetie pie! Now, put these in your purse and let’s go catch a killer!”

“I wish I had a gun!” Kwon said, putting the items into his purse.

“Oh, how sweet.” Sung touched his soft cheek. “Pistol Envy.”

CHAPTER 20

Sung had printed out a map that showed where the coverage areas of the two short range devices overlapped. They primarily covered an area of the kitchen. They made their way into the kitchen, which this late at night was only modestly busy and staffed. Stainless steel appliances covered all the walls, and the air smelled of broiling meat and sweet, sugary baked goods.

The staff was too busy to bother with them, so they moved around the kitchen, checking all the side doors, but finding only closets and pantries. “Nothing!” Kwon said, frustrated.

“Wait!” Sung said, looking at her map. “Perhaps it is in a room below this one?”

“Hmmmmnnn,” Kwon said.

“Pardon me,” a gruff voice called. “Guests are not permitted in—“

Kwon turned, put a hand on his hip and thrust it to the side, favoring the man with the brightest, prettiest smile. “Can you tell us what’s beneath this room, please?” He chirped out in his extra-tea-kettle voice.

“Um, of course,” the man said, instantly softening at the sight of the pretty young woman. “It’s a storage space, but I don’t know that anyone has used it in years. We don’t need it now that we can have everything delivered same day by our suppliers.”

“Oooooohhhhhh!” Kwon squealed, clapping. “I am a -- um--- Abandoned Spacetionst! I adore abandoned rooms! Can I please go down and take some pictures?”

“I don’t know—“

“Pleasepleasepleaseplease!” Kwon sang, making himself small.

“Okay,” the man finally said, his will crushed by the power of Kwon’s cute. “What could be the harm?” He led them to a door down a hall off the kitchen where there were a couple bathrooms, and he pulled out a ring of keys and opened it.

Thank you so much!” Kwon giggled as he and Sung made their way through the door and started down a long, steep, narrow stair. It was dark, with just a single light bulb at the bottom of the stairs, and they moved as quietly as they could, creeping down the steps.

Sung crept quickly down, moving easily in her sneakers, while Kwon clung to the handrail, taking dainty, cautious steps in his stiletto heels, both because he didn’t trust his balance and because he worried his heels might click against the stairs. “Wait for me!” Kwon whispered when Sung got to the bottom of the stairs, but she took a peak around the corner, and then moved away into the darkness.

Kwon cursed whoever had invented high heels, and Amiga for trapping him in them. He heard movement down below, then clicking and clacking. His heart started to race. He wanted in on the action! There were lights starting to flash, and then a thumping music heavy on base, and then Sung shouted, “Ahhhhhhh!”

“What is it?” Kwon called in a high voice filled with pretty, feminine concern. “What’s happened?”

He reached the bottom of the stairs and scurried around the corner, stopping, frozen, his mouth falling open as he stared at hundreds of flat tops all around the room, all with pictures of his pretty face—Ki’s face – but all with the initials DOA written across them.

Sitting in a chair in front of a control panel was a stuffed hedgehog with a cigar in its mouth. “Why did you scream?” Kwon asked, seeing Sung standing in the center of the room.

“I am terrified of hedgehogs,” she answered.

“Let’s search the room,” Kwon said.

“Yeah, but let me get rid of these pictures first. I don’t like seeing you threatened.”

“Aw,” Kwon said, tugging on one of his pigtails. Could she still care for me? Even like this? He looked down at the swelling of his very womanly chest. They began to search the room, and as they looked they suddenly heard footsteps. They froze, just as one of the sections of the wall swung open, and they saw the silhouette of a man outlined in the light from the tunnel behind him.

He froze, seeing the screens on, the two of them, and then he spun and ran. Sung sprang after him, Kwon scampering behind as fat as he could in stiletto heels which was not fast at all. He thought about taking them off, but the knee length boots not only had zippers that ran all the way up the sides, but buckled and straps as well. He had no choice but to run behind as best he could, clicking away, his body bouncing.

Sung soon vanished from sight. The hallway flashed as a gun went off, and Kwon heard a scream. “Oh, my! What’s happening?” He scurried along, his purse bouncing on his hip, racing along the winding, twisting tunnel until he finally came to a new set of stairs, which he hurried up, his legs aching, pushing open a door to find himself in a back alley and looking down the alley, he saw Sung run out onto the street.

Kwon still found it hard to breath, and pausing to gasp for breath, he put a hand to his side, grimaced and then quick walked in the direction Sung had gone, before stopping, stomping a little foot in feminine frustration. I’m useless! He thought. Useless! He felt the sudden urge to cry, then realized he had a cellphone. He could at least call for—

He heard a rustling, and then turned to see a tall man slip out from behind a dumpster and run off down the alley in the opposite direction Sung had gone. Looking down at his high-heeled boots, he knew he could never catch the man, so reaching into his purse he took out the Panda Bear and pressed its belly, a loud alarm sounding. Kwon tossed his pigtails and stood there with his purse on his hip, which had been thrown out to one side.

“I can’t believe I have been reduced to this!” He thought, standing there in the alley clutching his purse, pressing a panda’s belly and waiting for help. I used to be the best agent in the Tiger Legion!

Eye burning. Back against wall. Vision blurring. Tears well up over eyes and pour down cheeks. Mascara running. Sliding down wall. Vision blurred. Hugging purse to chest. Somewhere in the distance, a siren howls, a car horn blares. Finger tips to lips as body shakes with sobs.

Sung soon reappeared to find Kwon sitting on the ground, hugging his knees, crying. “What happened?” She asked. “Did he hurt you?”

“No,” Kwon said, shaking his head, wiping his tears. “He just ran off that way.” He pointed, the bracelets in his slender wrist flashing in the street lights.

“He hid here, saw you here alone and didn’t attack? Curious.” Sung muttered, kneeling next to Kwon, hugging him. “So, you are unharmed?”

Kwon nodded.

“Oh, thank goodness. I would hate it any harm came to you! Now, where had he hidden?”

Kwon told her, and Sung emerged from the location a moment later with a plastic bag, and inside a test tube and a cotton swab.

Kwon wiped his tears and smiled. “DNA?”

“DNA!” Sung said, smiling. “DNA!”

CHAPTER 21

Sung sent the DNA off to the Tiger Legion lab while Kwon took his makeup off, undid his pigtails and started to brush out his long, silky hair.

Sung flopped onto the bed on her side and watched Kwon brushing his hair. “I’m so jealous of your long, shiny hair! It’s so pretty!”

“It’s so much work! I never realized! And it’s heavier than it looks, and it keeps getting in my face!”

“But it’s pretty! I’m jealous I tell you!”

“But couldn’t you grow yours out?” Kwon asked, pausing to work out a tangle.

“I’m a field agent,” Sung said. ‘I don’t have the time to deal with long hair, and, besides, it gets in the way during combat.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Anyway, I think I look good with short hair.”

“You look delectable! You’re gorgeous!”

“Oh, you’re just saying that. I’m nowhere as pretty as you.”

“No! I love your bright eyes! And that little whatever it’s called haircut with the way the bangs sweep down over your eyes!”

Sung got up and walked over to Kwon. She took the brush from his hands and kissed him on the head, then started to brush out his hair for him. “I can do it.”

‘Let me. I like taking care of you, Miss Hanja.”

Kwon felt that tingling and melting feeling coming over him again. He glanced in the mirror at Sung as she ran her slender hands through his long hair, sweeping the brush through the inky black strands. He put his hands in his lap, and smiled as his eyes went soft. “You are so good to me. You saved my life today, and you took care of me when I got upset in the alley. I just—I don’t know if I can find the right words to tell you how much I appreciate you.”

Sung met Kwon’s eyes in the mirror. She felt her heart flip. The emotion in his little voice, that soft unfocused look in his eyes. She struggled to find words herself, to find some way to tell him that she loved him, but it scared her. Surely, he would reject her. What kind of girl falls for a man living as a beautiful woman? She opened her mouth, and cringe as she spoke the following words: “I was thinking a high bun for bedtime?”

Kwon felt his heart, which had been so full, sink. He looked at himself in the mirror, and saw he still wore the Don’t Mess With A Princess tank top, could still see the bra straps across his shoulders. I am a fool! Of course, she can’t love me like this, sitting here like a beauty queen while she brushes my hair!  “A high bun is fine,” he said in a cold, small voice, his eyes dropping.

You idiot! Sung thought, seeing his reaction.  High bun? That’s the most romantic thing you can think of to say? You repulse him! You’re gross! Arrghhhhh! But she kept all that hidden, smiling as she gathered Kwon’s hair up and began to pile it in a bun on his head.

Once they were finished, Kwon put on his Panda pajamas and crawled into bed. Sung did a security check, and then said, “Goodnight, Miss Hanja.”

“Goodnight,” Kwon called back, his voice already growing sleepy. When the door closed, he whispered, “I think I love you.”

CHAPTER 22

Kwon tossed and turned all night. It would take 24 hours for the DNA tests to be run, so he would have to do the much-dreaded love making scene. He kept picturing himself back at headquarters, and he would ask some girl to come back to his room, and she would start laughing and he would look down to see himself wearing a short dress, high heels. Or, he would imagine walking into the cafeteria, and all the guys laughing about how sexy he’d been in the movie, and how much fun it seemed he’d been having being in bed with a man.

Maybe I can pretend I’m sick! But no. He had a mission, and he had to do his job no matter the risk of embarrassment. Then, he considered doing something as he performed to que everyone watching that he wasn’t into it, but that, too, had to be rejected. He would not damage Ki’s reputation!

So, he finally got up and made some tea with valerian root and other herbs, sipped it and slipped off to sleep, hoping that he would not have bags under his eyes. He knew the most important thing he had to be was pretty.

In the morning, Sung was all business. Kwon swallowed and shook his head when she showed him the negligee he would be wearing. “The boys on the set will be drooling all over the floor!” Kwon said, shaking his head. “Can’t I just wear my Panda pajamas?”

“It’s a romance, not a comedy.”

Kwon slipped out of his Panda pajamas and took a quick shower, coming out of the bathroom with the towel wrapped around his body like any woman. Sung handed him the hanger holding the frilly scraps he would wear, and he went into the walk-in closet to change. He defiantly did not want her to see him naked. Sung had given him a baby doll, which seemed to Kwon like a bra attached to some transparent material. He slipped into it as well as the matching underwear and came out of the closet feeling worse than naked.

Sung handed him a copy of Mademoiselle magazine and went to work on his hair, then did his face up in smoky, sexy, bedroom colors. When she finished, Kwon looked at the mirror and saw the way his eyes smoldered beneath the dark, eyeshadow, the long, mascara drenched eyelashes, the wet, glossy red lips, and he looked at Sung, the words bursting out, “I’m scared.”

Sung squeezed his shoulder. “I understand,” she said. “It’s your first time.”

“I don’t know what I am supposed to do, or how I should act, and I am ashamed to have everyone see me like this, and do… that!”

“If you did not feel this way, you wouldn’t be human. I am proud of you for being so brave!” She took Kwon’s hand and said, “Let’s go. You can do this!”

Kwon stood, and he looked right into Sung’s eyes. She stared back. Kwon tilted his head to the side. Sung tilted her head in the opposite direction. Kwon put his hands on Sung’s hips, and she put hers on his, pulling him to her, pressing her body into his.

“Sung,” Kwon said, batting his eyes. “I---”

“Shhhssss,” Sung said, leaning in for the—

‘You, bitches be crazy!” Ki shouted, busting into the room.

Kwon and Sung stepped away from each other, gasping.

‘Wha? Don’t stop,” Ki said, grabbing at the groin of her pants. “Girls kissing totally turns me on!”

“Ki. She’s getting ready for a big scene so---”

“Big scene with me you mean!” Ki swaggered up to Kwon. “I’m playing Jack Action, aight? How about that? I am my own love interest! Yo!”

“You?” Kwon said, his voice rising into that extra tea-kettle range. He was still crushing on Ki, and knowing that it would be the beautiful actress pretending to be a guy pretending to make love to him, he felt his heart flutter. “That’s so great!” He squealed.

“I know,” Ki said. “I’ll walk you down to the set, doll. We can start to get that chemistry going, know what I sayin.?”

“Hehehehe!” Kwon giggled, tossing his hair. “Just a sec!” He minced across the room, conscious of Ki’s eyes on him, feeling his skin tingle, then slipped into his stiletto pumps.

Once Kwon had gotten his shoes on, Ki gave him the once over and said, “My, my, you are one fine woman!”

Ki giggled and did a little shoulder raise.

Ki turned to Sung. “She’s really nailing the whole cute thing, wouldn’t you say?”

“Oh, yes,” Sung said sourly, slitting her eyes at Kwon as he giggled and flipped his hair, putting on a show for the girl dressed as a guy he had a crush on. “She is most certainly cute.”

Ki slipped his arm around Kwon’s waist and ushered him toward the door. This time Kwon found he didn’t mind, and willingly let himself be guided along by Ki, who grunted and belched and then farted. “Being a guy is great,” she said, scratching her stubbled chin. “You should try it some time.”

“Oh, I don’t know if I could ever be a boy,” Kwon said, giggling. “You’re so--- tough and rough!”

“Yeah, that’s true. You’re not butch at all. More like a stuffed animal or something!”

Kwon just giggled in response.

Down on set, Kwon just let the eyes of all the men pass over him, finally getting used to it. He got onto the bed, and the Assistant Director had him lay in a certain position, then arranged his hair on the pillow. “Would I still be wearing me heels in bed?” Kwon asked.

The men all laughed.

“Oh, you would be wearing those heels in the shower, honey!” Director howled, slapping his knee. ‘Let’s get some establishing shots of her!”

“What should I do?” Kwon said as the cameras moved in.

“Just lay there and look sexy.”

Kwon lay there as the camera moved in and out, ran up the length of his legs, his arms, lingered on his face. “Got it!” Director said.

“Now, doll, we need a shot of you seeing your man come into the room. He rescued you form Dong, you love him, and you want nothing more than for him to make love to you, so when you see him enter, we need to see all that in your eyes.”

“Got it!”

Kwon thought of when Sung rescued him, when she came and found him crying in the alley. ‘Got it! Wow! Great!”

“Jack Action, you are on!”

Ki came in and climbed into bed with Kwon. Why is he wearing all his clothes while I am nearly naked? Kwon thought. Arrrghhhh!

Jack took a position on top of Kwon. “Action!” Jack kissed Kwon, then almost cupped his face, being careful not to smear Kwon’s makeup. They kissed again. Then they did some shots of Jack slipping one of the little silk straps off Kwon’s shoulder, then of his hand sliding along Kwon’s thigh.

“Great! Amazing! You’re the best!”

Ki pumped her fists and walked off.

That’s all she has to do? Kwon thought, starting to get up.

“Stay. Places.” Director said.

“What?”

“We need some more shots of you. Get a close up on her face. Now, babe, doll, sweetheart, give us some really good moans.”

“Moans?”

“Yeah, like you’re making love with this great guy and you moan.”

Kwon glanced at Sung. She gave him a thumbs up. He made an ugly face, then got back into position on the bed.

‘Okay, and ACTION!!!!”

Kwon thought about the sounds girls had made when he’d been making out with them, then swallowed his pride and started to mimic them, moaning and sighing, throwing his head back. The director had him go again and again, until finally he head “Got it! Moving on!”

Once more the crew cheered, and he flushed with embarrassment wondering how many of them would be replaying his little female performance in their minds that night.

But then his thoughts were interrupted by Sung, who threw her arms around him and pulled him in for a body crushing hug. “You were great!”

“This is something I do not want to be great at,” Kwon said, feeling his cheeks burning with shame.

“All the more impressive, then, that you did it so well!”

“Doll,” Ki said, wandering up. “You did me proud! We should go dancing or something. Celebrate. You really steamed up the joint!”

“Thanks,” Kwon said, adding “You were great, too,” then thinking, though they barely made you do anything! He should have to sit there grunting for an hour!

“I am great,” Ki said, slipping her arms around Kwon and giving him a kiss on the cheek. “You’re lucky you get to be me, you know?”

Kwon clenched his fists. Sung shook her head. “So lucky!” Kwon said, tilting his head to the side, plastering a big smile on his face. “Um, what are you doing now? Want to come back to the room and hang out?” Kwon added a giggle and a hair toss.

“Yeah, babe. I really can’t. Da has arranged for me to meet some New York industry folks out in Greenpoint, Brooklyn at the old Dominos Sugar warehouse. I might do a whole movie as Jack Action!” She struck a martial arts pose. “I’ll text you up about dancing tonight,” Ki said, then slapped Kwon on the butt and walked away.

Kwon’s mouth dropped open. “Did you see that? He just—”

“All just part of being a pretty girl!” Sung said, taking Kwon’s hand. “Let’s get you changed so you will be ready to pounce when we get the DNA tests back.”

Sung held Kwon’s hand and led him away from the set. He glanced over his shoulder back at Ki, who had stopped to eat some energy bars at the craft table, talking loudly with some of the sound guys. Do I still love her? Kwon wondered. Or, am I really, truly in love with Sung? His soft hand was in Sung’s, and he felt a tingle coming right up his arm. I should tell her, he thought, slipping his thumb under the little silk strap of his teddy and pulling it back up on his shoulder. I should just be a man and tell her!

CHAPTER 23

When they got back to the room, Sung went and picked out some clothes for Kwon to wear while he sat down at his make-up table and started to clean off his make-up. “I almost hate to take this off!” Kwon said as he wiped the blush and foundation from his cheeks. “I look so hot!”

“It’s not a daytime look,” Sung said, “and—”

“It’s for the cameras! I know, but I’m just saying, you did a really good job.”

“Oh, thanks,” Sung said emerging from the closet holding a denim mini=skirt with sunflowers embroidered on the back as well as a sleeveless blouse and a yellow vest. “You’ll look really cute in this.”

“Whatever you think is best,” Kwon said, one eye closed as he wiped off his eyeshadow.

After Sung had done his make-up and hair, Kwon slipped on the platform sandals she’s selected for him, and she fussed with his clothes, tugging on his skirt, his blouse. “It’s now or never,” Kwon decided as Sung stood and started fussing with his hair, which poured down over his shoulders freely today.

He put his hands on Sung’s hips. “I need to tell you something.”

“What?” Sung said, her eyes wide with surprise. The serious tone of Kwon’s voice caught her off guard.

“Over these last few says, I have realized something. It’s something that’s been true since the day I met you, but which I only realized now, after we have spent so much time together.” He paused, staring into Sung’s eyes, trying to read her reaction so far, his heart started to race, and he felt afraid, becoming aware of the shape of his body, the cool air against his bare thighs.

“What is it?” Sung said, thinking. Oh, please say what I think you are going to say!” Without thinking, she ran her finger along a strand of hair that had fallen across Kwon’s eyes, and hooked it behind his ear.

The gesture reminded Kwon more fully of his shape, his femininity, and he swallowed. “I’m sorry,” he said. ‘I don’t know what got into me.” He started to step away, but now Sung put her hand son his hips and pulled him closer.

“Then I have something to tell you, Miss Kwon, and I am afraid to say it, and I am worried you will think I am a freak, but—”

“The results!” Amiga shouted as he barged into the room, then froze. “Don’t stop on my account!” He chuckled. “I love watching girls kiss! There’s a channel on You Tube and—”

‘Shut up!” Kwon screamed. “You idiot! You ruin everything, and you are a pervert!”

“I know,” Amiga said. “But, would you please just kiss a little for me?”

Sung stomped over and grabbed the report from Amiga’s hands, then scanned it, her mouth dropping open. Kwon hurried to her side and looked over her shoulder, his own mouth dropping open. ‘I can’t believe it!” He said.

Then, he and Sung looked at each other and in unison they chimed, “Duh, it was Da!”

“So unexpected,” Amiga said. “Maybe the tests are wrong?”

‘But it makes perfect sense!” Sung said.

“Explain it to me,” Amiga said. “I really feel a need for exposition!”

“When he had me in the alley alone, he didn’t try to kill me because he knew I wasn’t the real Ki Hanja!”

“The other attempts must have been meant to throw us off his scent!” Sung said.

‘That sneaky little sneaky sneak!” Kwon said, biting his pinky finger.

“Well, let’s go arrest Da,” Sung said. “Though it’s a shame you won’t get to go out and show off your cute outfit!”

‘Not so much—wait! Ki?””

“What is it?”

“He told me he was going to Brooklyn for a meeting Da set up for him. That meeting—”

Once more he and Sung looked at each other and chimed in unison, “It’s a trap!”

“Star Wars Reference. Omigod, you like Star Wars?” Kwon said, tossing his hair.

“Love it!”

“We should cuddle and watch all of them like a marathon!”

“I would love that!” Sung said.

“Um, girls? Don’t you need to rescue Ki?”

“Oh, yeah, right.” Kwon headed toward the door.

“Miss Kwon?” Amiga said.

‘What?”

“Don’t forgot your purse.”

CHAPTER 24

Amiga drove as fast as he could, which since they were trying to get from Manhattan to Brooklyn was not very fast.

Kwon was on his cell, texting and calling Ki, but he got no answer and no little dots to indicate she was responding. “Oh! If he gets killed, this will all have bene for nothing! Hurry up! Can’t you get past these slow-moving cars?”

“Beyond the slow-moving cars are more slow-moving cars!” Amiga said.

“Just do something!” Kwon shrieked, slapping him on the back of the head.

“Women!” Amiga shrieked, and then yanked the wheel, pulling the car onto the sidewalk and gunning the engine. Hipsters on old fashioned tricycles shouted in terror, diving into carts of kale as Amiga plowed along the sidewalk, and two guys dressed like Amish farmers shouted, RUDE!” as they dove for cover.

“What are you doing?” Kwon shrieked, his hands to his cheeks.

“Hold on!” Amiga yelled as he fish-tailed around a corner, causing Kwon to slide across the limo seat and right into Sung’s arms. She pulled him tight and their eyes met. He smiled. She smiled, and then they both screamed as Amiga almost side swiped a school bus and then two orthodox rabbis who jumped into the bushes and shook their fists as he passed, shouting, “Not Kosher!”

Then, Kwon and Sung rocked forward in each other’s arms, and the car stopped dead still. “Why did you stop?” Kwon cried out. “Ki’s life is in danger!”

‘I stopped,” Amiga said, “because we are here.”

Kwon looked out the window and saw the sign for Dominos Sugar. “Oh,” he said. ‘Good, then.”

Sung flung the door open, helped Kwon out of the car, and then took his hand, running with him as he scurried as fast as he could in his platform sandals, his bare legs flashing in the sun. “Let’s go!” she said.
 ‘You run ahead!” Kwon called out in a high, pretty voice. “I can’t keep up in these shoes!”

“I don’t want to leave you alone again!”

“I’ll be fine! Go! Go!”

“Okay, but be careful, okay, honey? I would hate myself forever if you got hurt!”

“I feel the same way!” Kwon said, touching her face. ‘I’ve been meaning to tell you that—”

They heard a scream form inside the factory. “Girls, we do have a mission!” Amiga said. ‘Maybe you can save all this silly girl stuff for—”

“SHUT UP!” Sung and Kwon chimed in unison. “Go!” Kwon said. ‘I’ll be right behind you!”

Sung and Amiga raced ahead, and as he ran Kwon pulled out his phone and texted the Tiger Legion, asking for backup. Then, he pulled his purse tight against his body, tossed his long hair, and pulled open the door to the factor, ready for trouble.

CHAPTER 25

Kwon hurried down a narrow hall, then turned a corner to come into an open warehouse floor. Light streamed down from the windows that ringed the corrugated steel roof. In the middle of the room, strapped to a table, Ki struggled against the ropes that tied her to a metal table. A hooded figure stood above her, holding a microphone. Seeing that Sung and Amiga had been captured and were being held by a couple of burly thugs wearing Hello, Kitty! masks, Kwon stepped back into the shadows where he wouldn’t be seen.

“And now the time has come for the curtain to fall!” Autotune called out in his warbley, autotuned voice. ”On the terrible and annoying life of the most spoiled brat actress this world has ever seen!”

“The most spoiled brat?” Ki said. ‘You’ve obviously never met Lindsey Lohan!”

“Silence!” Autotune sang as music began to rumble through the warehouse. “It’s my time to take the stage! It’s my time to be a star!”

Sung and Amiga continued to struggle as the burly, masked thugs held them tight. Kwon snuck around the perimeter of the room, slipping from crate to crate until he was as close as he could get to Autotune. He crouched behind a forklift, and focused his chi. This needs to be fast, furious and cute, he thought. Nothing less will achieve greatness.

Meanwhile, Autotune began to perform his choreography and sing, off-beat and off-key to badly even the auto-tune could not save him:

You thought you were too pretty to die

That your smile would keep you alive

But babe I got news for you

That’s probably gonna make you feel blue

You’re gonna have a

Pretty pretty death death

You look pretty when you die

Pretty pretty death death

Cry! Cry! Cry!

Kwon, twirling out from behind the forklift, passing through a single ray of light as his purse arcs out in a perfect circle around him. A single mote of dust drifts down through the light, dancing in the breeze. Guards, distracted, loosening grip. Sung. Elbow. Gut. Kwon twirling across the floor, the golden clasp on his purse flashing in the light. Kwon’s hair floats around his face, sparkling in the light. Amiga, tossing distracted thug. Purse. Autotune. Face. Crash!

“What’s this?” Autotune howled as the force and surprise of Kwon’s purse slamming into his face caused him to stumble back and fall on his butt, the microphone flying from his hand.

“You’re finished!” Kwon squealed, thrusting one fist on the air while raising a knee, Sailor Moon style. “Ahhhhh!”

Autotune kicked Kwon’s legs out from under him and he fell to the ground. Using his training, he quickly sprang to his feet, but unused to platform heels he wobbled and had to brace himself against the table, which gave Autotune time to dig into the pockets of his long, black robe and pull out a gun, which he pointed right at Kwon.

“Watch out!” Sung shouted as she exchanged blows with the Hello, Kitty thug.

Kwon froze, his hair in his face, his chest heaving as he breathed hard. He clutched his purse strap and pondered his options.

“You meddling fool!” Autotune said. ‘You ruined my song, but you won’t ruin my vengeance! How perfect that I will get to kill not one, but two of the worst clients I ever had!”

“Worse clients?” Ki said, still struggling. “Wait, you mean?”

“Yes!” Da threw back his hood. “It was me the whole time!”

‘You’re the worse agent ever!” Ki screamed. ‘You’re fired!”

“You can’t fire me!” Da laughed. “I put a clause in my contract that expressly denies you the right to fire me in case I try to kill you! Hahahahah!”

“I knew I should have read that contract!” Ki said, straining to break her bonds.

“You should always get a lawyer to look over any legal document before signing!” Sung called while delivering a round house kick to the head of the thug, which knocked his mask off revealing another mask—this time, Ranma?

“You really should be more careful with your career!” Kwon added, patting her on the forearm.

“Shut up! All of you!” Da pulled the hammer back on his gun, and said, “Goodbye, Miss Fake Ki! Your services are no longer needed, and your make-up makes you look like a prostitute.”

“My girlfriend did my makeup, you jerk, and it’s perfect!”

Da pulled the trigger.

A metallic thunk. Gun recoiling. Barking. A bullet explodes from the barrel: steel jacketed death! It spins, the hollow point catches the light.  Sung gasps. Ki screams. Amiga calls out Nooooooooooooo his voice sounding like it’s underwater. Kwon, calm, lifts his purse. Bullet strikes clasp. Ricochets of. Bounces off beam. Strikes Ranma thug in shoulder.

“Impossible!” Da shouted.

“Herpossible!” Kwon chirped back, dropping into combat stance and unleashing a vicious kick right toward Da’s chin—

But, unused to the bombshell dimensions of his new body, all that extra weight up top and in his caboose, plus perched on his platform shoes, he wobbled and lost his balance, squealing as he spun awkwardly, stumbling and falling right into Da’s arms, his long hair all in his face.

‘That was so cute!” Ki says. “Well done, dolly!”

Da locked one arm around Kwon’s waist, while the other wedged under his chin and began crushing Kwon’s throat. “Ah!” He peeped, thinking to perform a throw, but Da has lifted him off his feet, and he kicked his little feet helplessly.

“Don’t hurt her!” Ki said, finally breaking the rope’s holding one arm. She started to untie the other.

Sung and Amiga finished off the thugs, but as they approach Da waved the gun in the hand around Kwon’s waist. ‘Don’t come any closer, or I will kill this ditzy airhead!”

“How dare you call me an airhead!” Ki shouted. ‘I took all advanced classes in high-school!”

“I was talking about this airhead!” Da shouted back nodding toward Kwon, wiggling in his grip.  Da had now reached the loading bay doors. “Nobody moves, or this scattered brain dingbat gets it!”

Scatterbrained? Dingbat?  Kwon stopped struggling to break Da’s grip and instead slipped his hand into his purse, searching around with his long, slender fingers. His vision started to darken, and he felt himself losing conscious. Come on! Hold on! Just a little longer! He felt his compact? No. Cellphone? No. Brush? No. Hair clip? No. Tissues? No. Something—what is that? I need to clean out my purse! Then, lipstick. Yes. Lipstick.  Omigod, yes. Lipstick, I love you so much!

Da started to step through the loading bay door. Kwon pulled his tube of lipstick out of his purse. It was pink and shaped like a heart. “What are you doing?” Da said, seeing the lipstick tube in Kwon’s hands. “You can’t be worrying about your makeup now?”

“I want to look cute when I die,” Kwon answered, then pulled the top off the lipstick and sprayed mace right into Da’s eyes.

“Aaahhhhhhhh!” Dah screamed as his eyes exploded into the most horrible pain he has ever felt. Instinctively, his hands went to his face and Kwon dropped to the ground, his hip in the air as he lay on his side, gasping for breath.

Sung and Amiga ran up and secured Da, while Ki freed herself from the bindings, running up to Kwon, hugging him. ‘Omigod, are you okay?”

Kwon nodded. He looked up to see Sung standing there watching the two of them, a sad look in her eyes, and he reached a slender little arm toward her and said, ‘Help me up?” In a small voice.

Sung’s eyes filled with joy, and she took Kwon’s hand and pulled him to his feet, then right into a hug to end all hugs, crushing his soft, curvy body to hers.

“Wait? Are they?” Ki asked.

Amiga shrugged.

Autotune’s music still thumped in the warehouse, and a mischievous look sparkled in Kwon’s eyes as he grabbed Sung’s hand and pulled her back into the warehouse.

“Wait! What are you doing?”

“Just sit here,” Kwon said, sitting her down on one of the crates, then waving to Ki. ‘Help me out!” He said, dancing over to the middle of the warehouse floor and picking up the microphone that autotuned had dropped.

Ki, catching on, put her fists under her chin and said, “Oh! So romantic!” And then she started clapping her hands above her head, shouting, ‘Come on everybody!”

Sung, giggling, started to clap while Amiga found the DJ set up where the music had been coming from and slipped the earphones on his head, clapping his hands.

CLAP! CLAP! CLAP!

They all looked over in surprise as thunderous clapping echoed throughout the warehouse. The Tiger Legion strike team had arrived! They all clapped now, too, bobbing their heads as they moved into the room and formed a semi-circle around Kwon, who put a hand on his hip, thrust it to the side and bobbing his head from side to side, smiled his prettiest smile and began to sing in his highest tea-kettle voice while staring right into Sung’s eyes:

How can I tell you the things I feel?

How can I say you made me real-

Ize that I really cared? I wanted to tell

While you braided my hair, but I then I just

felt too darn scared!

Oh, boy, I’m your girl.

Oh, girl, I’m your boy

So, oh girl oh boy oh my I say

I lo-lo-love you!

Sung put her hands to her cheek and shrieked, while Kwon broke out some of the cutest dance moves he could remember seeing in any girl band video.

He flashed a peace sign and shook his shoulders, tossing his hair. Rumors had spread on twitter that Ki Hanja had been seen in Brooklyn and fans now started pouring into the warehouse, clapping and cheering, taking pictures and videos.

How can I tell you I love the way you smile?

The way you do my make-up

How you dress me in cute styles?

Girl, you know, my life you saved

You are so so very brave

Oh, boy, I’m your girl.

Oh, girl, I’m your boy

So, oh girl oh boy oh my I say

I lo-lo- love you!

Everyone shrieked, and Kwon handed the mic to Ki singing out, “Rap Break!”

‘You’re really a guy?” Ki said off mic.

“Yeah?” Kwon giggled, shrugging.

“Could have fooled me!”

Amiga scratched the record and then laid down a thumping rap beat.

Ki moved into the spot light, swaggering and butching it up big time.

I’m Jack Action and this is Ki

together we stopped a murder spree

I did it my with fists most astute

she did it with lipstick very cute

I’m rough and tough as you can see

She’s soft and sweet and so curvy

So, we make a good team

And I’m laying down a lesson

Don’t mess with us or to jail your headin!

The crowd roared, and then Ki tossed the mic back to Kwon, who caught it as a bunch of the guys from Tiger Legion danced forward and picked him up, carrying him toward Sung. Amiga brought the chorus back around. Kwon sang it once more as they set him down in front of Sung, who grabbed the mic and chimed in with him:

Oh, boy, I’m your girl.

Oh, girl, I’m your boy

So, oh girl oh boy oh my I say

I lo- lo- love you!

They hugged, and stared into each other’s eyes. Amiga cued up Hyomin’s Gold, the warehouse filling with lush synthesizer chords and her crystalline vocals.

‘Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” Ki started chanting, and then everyone joined in. “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”

Kwon touched Sung’s cheek. Sung touched his. “I think we better kiss,” Kwon said. “For the fans.”

“Yes,” Sung whispered. “For the fans.”

Their lips met as the camera’s flashed, and Kwon’s leg kicked into the air. “Ooohhhh,” the crowd cooed.

“So adorable!” Ki said, slapping Da on the back of the head and then slipping out the loading bay door, unnoticed.

CHAPTER 26

“Well, Miss Kwon,” Ambush said. ‘I hope this experience has taught you some valuable lessons!”

“Indeed, Master,” Kwon responded, crossing his longs shapely legs while brushing a strand of hair away from his face. “I learned that men are pigs, that it is a lot of work to be a fashionable young woman, and that it is very hard to fight wearing high heels.”

“Hahaha! Important lessons all. But not all men are pigs, honey,” Ambush said.

‘Oh?” Kwon said, giving Sung a glance. “Maybe you should spend a few days in a female body suit and find out?”

“Miss Sung,” Ambush said, eager to change the subject.  “You also acquitted yourself very well. My congratulations!”

“Thank you, Master Ambush!”

“Well, now that the post mission chit chat is done, I am looking forward to getting back to being a guy!” Kwon said, as Sung took his hand and helped him to his feet.

The door opened. “Producer Bora to see you—”

Bora pushed into the room, and seeing Kwon said, “Oh, good! You haven’t changed back!”

“Wait? Why?”

“What has happened?” Ambush asked.

“Ki has disappeared! She ran off after the warehouse, and no one knows where she is! We can’t shoot the movie and will lose millions-- unless?”

All eyes turned to Kwon, whose face dropped. He clutched his purse strap and said, “Oh, please. No.”

“Bora is a very valuable friend and ally,” Ambush said. “Really, I must insist that you continue to fill in until we can find the real Ki.”

“Ahhhhhhh! Oooooohhhhh!” Kwon said, stomping his foot. “I’m tired of being a girl!”

“It’s just until the end of the shoot,” Bora said. “Any anyone everyone has raved about your performances. You are a naturally talented actress!”

“I want to be a guy! Ohhhhh!”

Sung started playing with Kwon’s hair, gave his bare little shoulder a squeeze. “I’ll be there with you. It will be fun!”

“Whhhhaaaaaa!” Kwon cried out, his fantasies of throwing on a pair of baggy jeans and a t-shirt, running a hand through his short hair and just going out after two minutes of prep fading as he saw himself once more sitting for hours while Sung fixed his long hair.

“I know it’s asking a lot,” Ambush said. “Your dedication will be remembered.”

“Maybe there’s something I can do?” Bora said. “I want you to be happy, Miss Hanja. You’ll do better work. Ask me for anything.”

“Hmmmmmnnnn….” Kwon said, and then he looked up, a bright smile on his face, mischief dancing in his pretty eyes. “There is something….”

Epilogue

“Gentleman,” Director called in a high, pretty voice. “Miss Hanja is about to come on set. Remember, we are professionals, and you must treat her and all the performers with respect!” He tugged at the short skirt on his dress, then slipped a thumb under one of his bra straps to pull it up. Why do these things keep sliding off my shoulders? Who designs bras anyway? They are so uncomfortable they must have been designed by a man!

Miss Hanja came on set wearing a little pair of nylon shorts and tight soccer jersey that hugged her every curve. The crew kept their eyes to themselves. Director soured at the sight of her. He was sure that she had been involved somehow in the whole plot that had ended up with him agreeing to wear this female body suit and direct the rest of the movie as a woman or else be fired and ostracized for sexually harassing actresses.

Miss Hanja walked up to the director and smiled. ‘You look so cute today, Dolly! I love your pretty shoes!”

Dolly Q.T. Pie, the Director thought, humiliated by the name they’d given him as he looked at the impractical open toed stiletto heels he’d been made to wear. The open toes assured he had to spend time at the salon getting a pedicure, and his toes sparkled with pink polish. Bora was such a jerk. Director pushed all the anger deep inside and smiled. “Omigod! Thanks! You look great today, too, Miss Hanja! As always! So pretty!”

“I’m so happy to work with another woman,” Kwon said. “Girl power!”

“Girl power!” Director said, raising a fist. “Places! Places!” He called out in his pretty little voice.

Kwon walked away, smirking. Girl power, indeed, he thought. Now, just four more weeks and then they could both get back to being guys again. But in the meantime, well, he and Sung were getting to know each other, and it was such fun meeting his fans, and, golly, being a girl was a lot of work, but it was also kind of fun?

Tossing his hair, he giggled, flashed a peace sign to Sung, and then thrust his hip out to the side, finding his mark and taking his place as the most glamorous young woman in the world of K-Drama.

“Action!” Director squeaked.

The lights came on. Cameras rolled. And Kwon smiled, thinking, Time for me to bring the cute!