Fuss! Chapter 5 (Patreon)

Chapter Five

The week passed. Nick settled into his new routine, checking his waist, his weight, pleased both were getting smaller, but impatient that they weren’t dropping fast enough. He got used to feeling hungry all the time. His waist trainer helped, as it made it so he couldn’t even eat all that much even if he wanted to. Samantha opened the refrigerator one day to see a salad labeled “Nick” and the next day, and the day after that the rarely used “Crisper” drawer was full of kale and baby spinach and all the makings of smoothies.

Nick even started joining Daniellle and Samantha for lunch, nibbling on his salads like a rabbit, while the girls ate – bread? How do they get away with it? He fumed, but he hid his jealousy behind smiles and laughter.

Nick spent his nights curled up, watching TV while idly shopping online, searching Pinterest for outfit ideas, sometimes plucking his eyebrows, making sure they stayed perfect. He didn’t buy anything. He was totally devoted to Baba Yaga and his stylist, Natasha, but he just put together a board of possible looks to show her next time he dropped by, eager for her feedback. He just adored online window shopping, and even went for walks some nights just to do a little real world window shopping, the urge to buy more clothes, more shoes growing stronger every day.

Looking in the mirror one morning, he saw his bob had gotten a little shaggy. Time for a trim, he realized, and what luck! He still had three gift certificates.  This time he called and made an appointment. It was actually kind of exciting, the thought of visiting his salon, and, of course, he would pop into the boutique for a sec. It was the perfect Friday evening after a long week at work!

“Extensions?” Nick asked, sitting in the beautician’s chair, the smock already secured around his neck. “You mean, like, for long hair?”

“Oh, yes,” Vanya said, fluffing his hair. “It’s time. You’re ready.”

Nick had come to love his cute bob. “I don’t know?”

“You’ll be like Rusell Brand, or Captain Bird,” Vanya said.

“Captain Sparrow?”

“Yes. So handsome.”

“I’m really not sure.”

“I am. Now, relax. Let me work my magic.”

Nick fell into the same, hazy space as always, zoning out, totally tuned into the chimes and the sound of the waterfall. He only snapped out of it when Vanya spun him around so he could see himself, once more Vanya and the girls standing behind him, smiling. “Gorgeous,” Vanya pronounced.

“So handsome!”

Nick starred. Again. He had serious hair. It was long, silky and thick. And– he reached up and gingerly touched one of the large hoop earrings dangling from his ears. “Earrings?”

“Just like the Captain Bird!” Vanya said. “Just like you asked for.”

“I asked for these?”  Nick said, confused.

“You begged for them,” one of the girl’s said. “And you were so right. You look amazing!”

“I– do I?”

With hair now pouring down over his shoulders, and the earrings, and- was he wearing mascara? “I look like a girl.”

“Like Captain Bird,” Vanya said. “You love it.”

Nick shook his head. It was too much, he– “I love it,” repeated, realizing that he did love it. He looked so glamorous!

“You love it,” Vanya said, kissing him on the top of the head as she massaged his shoulders.

Natasha approached. “And just wait until you see some of the new clothes that just came in from Paris!”

Shopping! All thoughts about his hair and earrings and make-up vanished. “Now clothes?” He asked, voice rising with excitement. “Paris?”

“Come,” Natasha said, as Vanya removed the smock. One more she took his hand and led him like a child.  “You’re gonna love the way you look.”

As Nick made his way home, shopping bags dangling from each arm, he once more that feral feeling, like he was a hunter in the boutique jungle, coming home with his trophies. He saw women glancing appreciatively at his haul, sometimes even enviously. He felt like he was in a one man parade, hailed as the shopping king.

“Nick,” Frankie the doorman said, opening the door open for his ever-changing client. “Good to see you.”

“A pleasure,” Nick answered, then, unable to stop himself, he brandished his bags. “I went a little overboard tonight!”

“You deserve it,” Frankie said.

“I really do,” Nick said, tossing his long hair as he turned on his heel and headed toward the elevator.

Frankie got back behind his desk, glanced at the security cameras to make sure everything was good. Nick actually looked kinda terrific with that hair. Frankie wondered if it was a wig, but he was sure the hoops were real. Good for him, Frankie thought. He seems a lot nicer since he started changing. .

Nick, though, was about to face a bit of a crisis.

After putting all his new purchases in his closet, including a couple more pairs of shoes, he placed the wooden jewelry box Natasha had insisted he buy on his dresser. Opening it, his eyes sparkled with delight at the bracelets, rings, necklaces he’d bought. He slipped one of the bracelets on, admiring how it looked on his slender wrist, then giggled. He’d never appreciated jewelry before, but now it was like he was seeing it for the first time. He couldn’t wait to show it off.

Carefully putting the bracelet back in the velvet lined cubby, he started to take his earrings off, but decided to wear them a little longer. He liked the way they felt, brushing against his cheeks, and he’d already become addicted to toying with them with a free hand, while also teasing his long hair.  He made a space on his corner of his bathroom sink next to his concealer for his manscara and guyliner.

Undressing, he slipped into his new night shirt– a long t-shirt that hung down to his knees, and it was made of the softest and comfiest material. He’d curled up in a corner of the couch, started streaming the latest episode of You on Netflix, and was shopping online, playing with his hair, when his phone buzzed.

I wonder who would be texting me this late? He wondered, pausing his show. Maybe it was Giselle? A booty call?  When he checked his phone, though, his eyes went wide:

SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY ALERT! YOUR CREDIT CARD HAS BEEN SUSPENDED! Call  XXX-XXX-XXXX to speak to a service representative.

“Oh, shit,” Nick hissed. Had someone stolen his credit card number? Or, maybe even stolen his identity? Damn. Damn. Damn. He found his cell phone and dialed the number. “Don’t put me on hold…. Don’t put me on hold….”

The line clicked. “All our representatives are busy right now….”

“Damn!” Nick paced, chewing on his thumb. As mentioned, the business was struggling, and he’d been living off money he’d saved from his last corporate job, plus a nice buyout he’d gotten when leaving. He wasn’t broke, yet, but the last thing he needed was his credit getting all screwed up by some scumbag. “Come on…. Come on….”

Nick found himself getting angry. No doubt some slimeball had stolen his credit card number somehow, gone on a buying spree, or maybe hit a strip club.  Jerk! He spat. Scumbag!

Finally, an actual person picked up the other line. Nick frantically began to geyser words at her, “I got an alert and I don’t know but I can’t really deal with this and it was probably a Russian mobster jerk who…”

“Just calm down, and I will do my best to resolve this problem, miss.”

“Miss? I’m Nick. I’m a Mr.” Nick realized that in his stress, he’d been speaking in a high, strained voice.

“Oh. I am so sorry. If you would give me your name and account number….” The service agent kicked herself. She’d been trained to remain gender nuetral.

Nick took a couple deep breaths to calm himself, gave her the information finding his lower register. There was the sound of keys clacking, some electronic beeping.  “Okay, the girl said. There has been an unusually high amount of traffic on your card at a vendor you had not previously frequented.”

“Where?How Much?”

“4,251 dollars, at a Baba Yaga Enterprises.”

“4,000 dollars” Nick said, stunned. “Are you sure?”

“At Baba Yaga.”

Nick was thinking about his shopping sprees. He actually had no recollection of how much he’d spent. He’d been on such a shopper’s high, he’d never even asked about a price, had handed over his card, all while floating on a cloud of shopper mania.

“Do you recall those purchases, or maybe suspect foul play?”

“I’m not– I do shop there. For my girlfriend,” he added. “I mean, you know. But, 4000?”

“May I suggest you check your receipts or your credit card report online? If you suspect theft, we will rectify the situation. Please be assured we will take care of this as soon as possible, but it’s best to confirm.”

“Okay. Yeah. I’ll check.”

“In the meantime, would you like me to unlock your card?”

“Yes,” Nick said, as he had the sinking feeling that he was, indeed, the jerk who’d spent 4000 dollars.

He ended the call and opened up his online account on his smartpad. His heart sank as he looked down the list of purchases, and he couldn’t help but feel utterly shocked at the prices. 250 dollars for a– why did it say blouse? 180 for leather capris? What the hell were capris? Oh, he realized. That must be a fancy French word for pants. 199 for another blouse. 480 for a bracelet. Xena Boots. 220. Darcy Boots. 230. Lacey Bootettes 250?

He went to his closet, checking labels, cross-referencing with the bill. His shirts, not blouses– were all of the thinnest material. Why so expensive? Every purchase was accounted for– right down to the 80 dollar tube of mascara and the 65 dollar of eyeliner.

Vanya had insisted that her products were all of the finest quality, but still? Could this be right? He remembered how much he’d paid for his skin cream. Panic. I have to return all this! I can’t afford it right now!

But looking at all his new shirts and pants lined up neatly and primly in his closet, he reached out and ran his fingers along the cool fabric of one of his new shirts. No. He needed them. They would just have to start making money! Find a way!

Nick poured himself a glass of cucumber water, curled up on the couch and unpaused You. He picked up his tablet and went back to shopping, looking for an escape from the anxiety gripping him. Shopping always seemed to calm him down. He found a really cute new juicer that would perfectly match the kitchen decor at the office. Buy Now. He paused, his mouse floating over the button. It’s only 150 dollars, he thought, clicking BUY. It felt good. Nothing like a little shopping to ease the mind. .He’d worry about the money later.

Getting ready for bed now took almost as much work as getting ready in the morning. Nick had to clean off his manscara, his guyliner, blush, and instead of just brushing his hair he now ran a wide toothed comb through his luxurious hair first, to work out any tangles. It took so much time to fuzz over long hair! He carefully slipped his hoops out of his new piercings, and made sure to rub lots of lotion not just on his hands and face, but his slender arms and smooth, hairless legs. Natasha had reminded him he had skin all over his body!

Finally, he drifted off to sleep, thinking about the splash he’d make when he showed up at work tomorrow. He couldn’t wait to see the girl’s faces!

He got up an hour early the next day, running through a few sun salutations, then began to put himself together doing his hair, his face, taking his measurements, dressing in one of his new shirts, a blouse that didn’t even have a button until halfway down his tummy. Fortunately, it was just enough to hide his waist trainer. He wiggled into his tight new leather jeans, and then almost danced as it came time for– jewelry! He draped a half dozen bracelets over one arm, slipping in his new hoops for what he’d convinced himself was that perfect pirate look.  Putting both hands on the edge of the kitchen sink, he leaned forward and said, “Go get, em, tiger!”

The outfit was bold and daring. Fashionable. And Vanya had been so right about the hair. His long, flowing mane made him feel strong, powerful, like a lioness– a lion. And the blush had really brought out his cheekbones. He felt like a million bucks.

At work, his new look received all the glowing praise he hoped for and needed. All through the morning meeting, he kept plucking at his hair, toying with his earrings. And, Danielle noticed, occasionally wincing and putting his hand to his chest.

“Something wrong?” Danielle asked, remembering making the same gesture when she’d been a tween girl.

“My chest is aching,” Nick said, not thinking much of it. “I think I strained something doing yoga.”

Samantha and Danielle exchanged a glance. They were both pretty sure Nick was about to pop out his own little boobies. “Maybe you’re about to experience a growth spurt?” Samantha said with a wicked smile.

“Oh, I think I’m done growing,” Nick said, plucking at his long hair.

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Samantha said.

“What does that mean?” Nick said, hand still gingerly on his aching chest.

“Oooookay,” Danielle said, wanting to end it before Samantha spilled the beans. “I think we all have plenty to do today.”

“Yes,” Nick said, standing, adjusting his outfit, tossing his hair.. “We really need to sell some sugar water! I had no idea how expensive fashionable clothes are.”

You mean women’s clothes, Danielle thought, remembering Vanya’s promise: He’ll know what you go through. While she dressed down for the office, she spent a bundle on her “going out clothes” and, like Nick, she often seethed at how a paper thin scrap of cloth cost more than a thick, solid hoodie.

Later, once they were sure Nick was off and working, Samantha and Danielle huddled in Danielle’s cubicle. “I can’t wait till he gets his boobs!” Samantha said. “We should buy him a training bra. Have a party for him!”

“I bet they have some really pretty ones at Baba Yaga,” Danielle said. They were both giddy watching a man, especially a man like Nick, having the full female experience.

“Too expensive,” Samatha said. “We can do Walmart, or go Amazon Essentials.”

“Um, I don’t think he’d be caught dead in a Walmart bra,” Danielle said. “Way too much of a princess.”

“Seriously.”  She considered. “His eyes are really popping now.”

“Oh, my God! Those long, curly lashes,” Danielle said, wistfully. “It’s not fair.”

“And I doubt he even appreciates them.”

“I love picturing him doing his mascara.”

“He has to be spending more time getting ready than we are.” It was true. Just as they dressed down most days, they also preferred the clean, fresh scrubbed look. Who had the time?

Nick, meanwhile, was once again feeling light-headed, energy deprived. It was time for a coffee run, only now one of those strange new feelings once again came over him. Instead of just running out to get his fix, he decided he should see if the girls wanted anything. Samantha’s cube was empty, so he headed over to Danielle’s and caught a snippet of their conversation.

“It’s so much work putting on my face to go out,” Danielle was saying. “I can’t imagine doing it for work every morning.”

So true! Nick thought, thinking about how long it had taken him to get ready. He wanted to jump in on the conversation and commiserate about how much work it was to be stylish, but it just seemed too girly. Instead, he popped around the entrance to the cubicle and said, “Hey, ladies.”

Samantha and Danielle froze. Shit. How much had he heard? “Hey,” Danielle said, trying to gauge his reaction.

Nick just smiled, fussing with his hair. “Um, I’m running to Starbucks? Do either of you want anything while I’m out?”

Samantha and Danielle exchanged one of their ever more common hell freezes over glances. “That’s so sweet,” Danielle said. “Yes.”

Nick pulled out his phone. “I’m going to order ahead so I don’t have to wait.” He raised one slender eyebrow. “I love their APP.”

Danielle and Samantha gave him their orders.  “I’ll be back in a jiff,” Nick said, turning with a dramatic swirl of his long, silky mane.

“Did you notice we graduated to ladies?” Samantha said.

“I did. I almost feel like a real person.”

Samantha sat back. “I can’t wait till he gets his boobs!”

Danielle chuckled, then waved her hand, mimicking Nick. “”Enough about my hair!”

They couldn’t control their laughter.

On his way back from Starbucks, tray full of drinks clutched carefully in his hands, Nick ran into Gisellle. “Oh, my God!” She said, taking him in. “You just keep getting more glamorous!”

“Oh, I just decided to, you know, go bold?”

“Did you ever.”

“So, um, why didn’t you call?” Nick asked, unable to hide his hurt. He’d been checking his phone constantly waiting for her call since the day he’d given her his number.

“Oh, babe,” Giselle said, touching him on the arm. “Just, you know. Busy. Hey, speaking of which, how about tonight, after hours? Come by the office.”

“Okay!” Nick said, excited, his mind filling with delightful images of them doing the nasty on the desk in her office.

“See you, then.”

“Bye!” Nick said.

He found Danielle and Samantha still in Danielle’s cubicle, handed them their drinks.

“Thanks, sweetie,” Samantha said, testing him, wondering how he would react to being called “sweetie.”.

“Oh” Nick said with a little shrug of his rounded shoulders, actually a little flattered she’d called him sweetie. “Anytime!” There had always been a little or maybe a lot of tension between he and his partners, but he was really glad they were being so nice to him now!

Back in his office, Nick checked his emails. No new clients had emerged from their flyer campaign. How could they boost their sales? He wondered, tugging on his hoop. There had to be a way!