JLA 16 (Patreon)

The clock ticked down, neither Superman nor Darkseid missed a jump, both dazzled the crowd with a dazzling super speed display of flying rope jumping like nothing the world had ever seen. The buzzer sounded, and they both landed. Even supers like themselves could be taxed, and both Superman and Darskseid would have loved to just collapse on the ground and BREATH.

But they also knew the judges were still watching, and proper young ladies were expected to do everything with grace. So, just like a gymnast completing the most grueling routine will smile and trot off as if it was nothing, each of them summoned all their will power, stood straight, flashed toothy happy smiles at the judges, then at each corner of the adoring audience.

While the judges tallied their scores, Superman pranced over to Batman and gave him a hug. Darkseid, not to be outdone, pranced over to his court and began to hug all the squealing villains.

“Ladies,” Green Lantern announced, taking the score card from the judges. “We have a decision.”

Superman and Darkseid took their places in the center of the ring. Neither could hide how nervous he was. Superman had rehearsed with Batman what he should do if he won, if he lost. They’d watched the endings of dozens of beauty pageants to get ideas, and it was clear— if Superman won, he would start crying. If Darkseid won, Superman would immediately give him a hug and then clear the stage, showing everyone how sweet he was.

“And the winner by split decision, is…….” Green Lantern paused, looking from one of the contestants to the other, “……… WONDERLASS!”

Superman put his hands to his cheeks as the tears began to flow freely. He’d discovered as a girl he could at will, and these were indeed super tears. The audience cheered. She was so dear! But, Darkseid did not offer Superman a hug an exit the stage, leaving the pretty, emotional hero the spotlight. Instead, he stomped his foot, making the whole stage shake.

“NOOOOOOO!” He screamed. “NOOOOOOO! IT’s because she’s blonde, isn’t it! Why do blondes always have to win everything? Noooooo!”

Luthor and Joker, horrified at the unladylike display, rushed to the stage and began to pull Darkseid away to the side. “Come on, honey,” Luthor whispered. “We all know you were better.”

“It’s not fair,” Darkseid screamed, as real tears began to roll down his smooth cheeks. “IT’s NOT FAIR.”

Circe raised her hands and they crackled with energy. “You should have joined with me willingly,” Circe said. “You could have ruled alongside me. Now, you will be—-  ahhhhhhh!”

Circe crumpled as Zatanna’s spell knocked her unconscious.

“What took you so long?” Wonder Woman said as the magic cage vanished.

“I wanted it to be dramatic,” Zatanna said. “Last minute rescue and all that.”

Huntress and Hawkwoman shook their heads as the spell faded, coming to their senses.

Wonder Woman took out her magic lasso and soon both Silver Sorcerous and Circe were entwined. When they woke, Wonder Woman commanded them to undue the gender spell. “We need the Tiresian Tablet,” Circe responded, enraged but utterly under Wonder Woman’s power. Huntress retrieved the tablet from the conjuration room, and the spell was undone.

“So they will all be changed back now?” Hawkwoman asked.

“Once they sleep. When they wake up, they will be restored to their former selves, as will their worlds.”

Wonder Woman found Superman and Batman in the Batcave. There were making out. Superman was dressed as Cheetah, with cute little ears nestled in his hair. Batman was dressed in his Cat Woman costume. “Ahem,” Wonder Woman said, as the two heroes were too busy to notice anything but each other.

“Oh!” They both sang out, separating and putting distance between each other, both blushing. “We were just,” Superman started. “I mean this costume, it was just, um….”

‘It’s okay,” Wonder Woman said. “You look cute.”

“Oh! Thanks!” Superman said. He loved compliments.

“You, too, Bat Cat.”

“Thanks!” Batman said, thrilled.

She sat them down and explained what was about to happen.

“But, I love being Wonderlass?” Superman said.

“Me, too,” Batman said. “I mean, I love being Lil Huntress!”

“I know. But, it’s for the best. Trust me.”

They each nodded. Women did always know best.

“What now?” Superman said.

“Go have one last day of fun as girls,” Wonder Woman said. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

It was only the best command ever!

Giggling, the two ran off, frantically packing the rest of their day with all their favorite acitivties— facials and mani-pedis, shopping and yoga. They even gave each other makeovers, doing each others hair and makeup, trying on every kind of silly hairstyle.

And, of course, it all ended with wine and one last epic makeup session.

Epilogue

The next morning, Wonder Woman found Superman at the Fortress of Solitude. She took one look at him, tall and rippling with muscle, and she knew she’d made the right decision. “Hey, handsome,” she said.

“Diana,” he said, that deep, bass voice giving Diana just the little thrill she remembered.

They found themselves in each other’s arms, sharing a deep, affirming kiss. After, they sat and talked. “Do you remember being her? Wonder Lass?”

“I remember all of it,” Superman said. “I loved makeup, obsessed over shoes.”

“You were such a girly girl!”

“Don’t get me started on kittens! Oh, and don’t forget my greatest triumph.” He pointed to the jump rope champion trophy he’d put on the shelf.

“Don’t be embarrassed,” Wonder Woman said. “You were under a spell.”

“I’m actually not embarrassed,” Superman said. “I liked being Wonder Lass. Is that odd?”

“No,” Wonder Woman said. “I liked her, too.”

“So, why change us back? Maybe the world was better off.”

“Maybe,” Wonder Woman said. “But I missed all those muscles.” She went over to Superman and climbed onto his lap. “Men are annoying, but you are also a lot of fun.”

“Annoying?”

“Shut up and kiss me,” Wonder Woman said. “You big luck.”