Amber - 19 (Patreon)

"She–" I hissed as I waved a hand at Janice, "drugged me! She gave me spiked tea and– I didn't ever intend to join in, you know that! But I did, and then two bastards separated me from Vivi and someone came in and–" I shuddered, remembering the feeling of him touching me, the way my body had responded, the way I had wanted it, had wanted to take in more of the intoxicating scent he wore. "Fuck, I threw myself at someone I didn't know because of her!"

I gasped, my chest heaving as I took in faster and faster breaths. "It can't have just been her! It can't have been! And she will tell me!" I shook my head, my hands clenched at my hips to try and stop myself from quaking. Celestine's hand on my shoulder felt like it was burning my skin.

Someone touching me when I didn't want them to and it stung. It burned when it shouldn't.

It shouldn't but it did.

Vivi looked between us and stepped closer, her shoulder brushing against mine. "Gwen, maybe you should–"

"He touched me. Not– I didn't– but it felt like fire, like– fuck. Fuck. Dammit." I wiped at my eyes with my fist, my hand coming away wet. "He was going to kiss me, he was going to force himself on me, even after I said no. Even with the... the..." It wasn't just a drug, it had been a fucking poison in my body making me someone else. "The poison inside me I said no and he was going to do it anyway. T-to ignore me and just r-rape me."

My arms came up as I gasped for air, wrapping around myself as I shook and shrank in on myself. I felt Vivi come closer, putting an arm around me, but it felt distant. Like she wasn't even here. When Celestine reached out to take over my spell, my working, and ease up the pressure I'd put Janice under I couldn't muster enough strength to stop her.

She didn't let her go. Just... just stopped me from killing her.

Did I want to kill Janice?

I didn't know.

"V-Vivi followed me. She– she came after me, afterwards, after I got away. And... I wasn't the one to make those choices." I sobbed, my head whipping back and forth in denial. "I wasn't. I don't– it was Vivi. I don't regret it. But I didn't get to be the one to make them."

Our first kiss should have been something special. Something romantic. And it happened because someone poisoned me and I escaped from a rapist.

I should've torn his bollocks off not left him tied up.

I should've stopped him when he tried to touch me.

I should've refused when he asked me to dance with him.

I should've...

I should've...

"Gwen..." Vivi said, her voice wet. "Gwen, I'm sorry. I'm... oh, Light Gwen, I'm sorry." She hugged me fully, wrapping her arms around me and pulling my head onto her shoulder; I struggled briefly, trying to fight it, but as she started stroking my hair I broke down and started crying into the crook of her neck. Clinging tightly to her and burying my face into her hair.

A smaller body started hugging my chest, squeezing gently.

"I'm sorry too." Trix said, having followed Celestine. "I forgive you for being mad at me for bothering you. Being drugged to sleep was scary so I get it."

Somehow, that drew a wet giggle from me. She didn't understand. She knew it was coming, that it was going to happen. I made sure that she knew. Made sure that Celestine would tell her it was going to happen. Made sure that she wouldn't be surprised.

"Speaker?" Janice called out, her voice raspy and the simple sound of it making me tense up again. "Speaker, you have to let me down!"

Celestine took a deep breath and I readied to fight her, to stop her from letting Janice go. She wasn't getting away with this. "No." Celestine said, her voice solid ice and bringing with it the weight of Tal'Doren's ire. "No, Janice Wendsworth. I do not have to let you down. You, instead, must answer – and speak truly for the Ravens are listening – a single question." She strode past me, towards Janice, and I could feel the way she drew upon the Blackwald. The energy coursing up from the land, forest, and Tal'Doren to fill her and make her more than a normal Witch, to make her a Speaker. "Did you assault your kin, a fellow Witch of Gilneas? Did you defile this sacred grove? Did you subvert an ancient tradition for your own ends? Did you break the covenant which grants us sanctuary?"

"I–" Janice tried to speak, only for the words to become strangled in her throat. The only result that spilt forth a harsh gurgling.

And yet, there was nothing stopping her from speaking. At least, nothing physically stopping her.

"Before you speak, it is wise to consider that it is not recommended to attempt to lie to a Speaker, Wendsworth. Not in this place." The Speaker of Ravens said, her voice devoid of emotion yet still carrying a menace within it. "Perhaps a simpler question. Did you provide a drink to Gwyneth Arevin, your kin, that was tainted with a potion or other concoction?"

"N-no! I didn't!" She cried, struggling against the branches as if they burned. "Speaker, I'm innocent! You have to let me go!

Aderic joined the conversation with a carrying hum. "Orion, if you would search Janice's tent. Swiftly, please. I worry for co-conspirators who might get... clever." He said with a strange degree of amusement in his voice.

"Of course, Speaker." A man, Orion, said before he walked away.

"If there is evidence to be found, Orion will find it. Until then, well, we have a plot to unravel." Aderic said as he walked up to stand with Celestine. "Now... do put her feet back on the ground, Celestine. Guilty or not, we don't string our kin up like that. Something young Gwyneth will have to be taught, I think."

I bristled, but so too did Vivi. And she spoke first.

"She deserves it!" Vivi snapped, a gust of wind adding a cold bite to her words. "Didn't you hear what Gwen said she did?!"

"I did," he answered drolly. "Indeed, half the camp likely heard her."

"Then why are you taking it so casually?" She growled, one of her hands falling to her sword. "If–"

"I'm not." He snapped, voice turning flat in an instant. "I've had to tend to too many victims of those who think they deserve something that is not theirs to treat it casually. But," his voice lightened again, "We still do not treat kin this way. As of yet, Wendsworth stands accused. No more than that."

I glowered at him, my fingers digging into Vivi's clothes as I gritted my teeth to stop myself from snapping at him.

He was, of course, right.

Not that I particularly cared that he was right, that I had broken rules and assaulted one of our own. I didn't have it in me to care for someone who poisoned me with a mind-altering drug. Who set me up to be raped.

Until I said it to Celestine, I hadn't thought of it that way. Hadn't wanted to think of it that way. Didn't want to think of the possibility of it happening to me.

And yet, it almost had.

So I truly, truly didn't care about the fact he was right. What I cared about was that Janice... that she... What I wanted was for Janice to suffer. Not– not what she had done to me. I wasn't a monster, no matter that she was a monster I refused to be. But I wanted her punished, to regret what she did, to see her terrified and broken too.

Ugly as it was, that was all I wanted right now. To see that she, and the others who were involved, felt like I did.

"The accusation itself is clear enough," Aderic mused, tapping his fingers against his arm as Janice was lowered so that her feet touched the ground. Not set free, I was glad to see, but allowed to stand on her own two feet. "But the questions of why and how remain."

"Irwen." The Speaker of Ravens said simply. "Gwyneth is Irwen's daughter, a targeted attack to paint her with the same brush her mother suffers from. Not from Janice directly, of course, but to discredit Gwyneth is to discredit the reforms that she has spurred. And myself, by association."

Aderic grimaced for a moment, then sighed. "Yes, that does explain the why neatly enough. More so after yesterday afternoon's affair."

Vivi tensed and frowned. "Meredith."

"The one who stopped Richard," Trix mumbled, scowling at my waist. "She's a mean old biddie."

"What– I never spoke to Meredith!" Janice protested, pulling against the bindings still on her wrists. "Speaker, you have to believe me, I–"

"Lie." The Duskwing Raven cawed loudly, cutting her off. "Lie. Lie. Lie."

"The ravens disagree, Janice." The Speaker of Ravens said flatly, reaching up to stroke the raven's head gently. "Little in this grove goes unobserved at any time. A meeting between you and others. Meredith, Alwyn, Howard, and Alys. Johnathon was present at first, but was satisfied with the result of their plan to discredit my former student by casting her ability to teach into question and did not participate."

Trix's head turned fractionally, an uncharacteristic glower coming from her and aimed at Janice.

"You, of course, were not part of that and were instead approached. Spoken to by Meredith, gauging your disapproval–"

"But she didn't ask me to do anything!" Janice screamed.

"–so that Howard could recruit you into their plot. Were you even aware of what was in the flask he brought you, when he told you to give it to Gwyneth?"

Janice's eyes went wider and wider, realisation dawning and terror filling her. Even in the spark of magic she carried within her there was a wavering, a trembling, as it became clear that what she had done had been seen.

"That completes the puzzle quite cleanly, Celestine." Aderic said with a nod of his head. "We still require evidence, even with the honoured testimony of one of the Ravens, but it completes the puzzle."

I pulled out of Vivi's arms, taking a step towards him. "How?" I demanded. Meredith? Meredith did this? And Howard and Alwyn and Alys, names I didn't know. Maybe.

A crowd had started to gather; not much of one, but we were the centre of attention, a thorny web of branches and roots still suspending a tent in the air. Murmurs were circulating around us, questions on what had happened, while others whispered in hushed tones what little they knew – it was difficult to tell where the tide of opinion was flowing.

But, the words I heard repeated most were my name and Meredith's, along with mention of the Raven.

Aderic looked at me a moment before glancing to the side. "Ah, Orion, did you find anything?"

He nodded, holding up a satchel and mug – the same mug I'd drunk from yesterday. "I did, Speaker."

I bit back a repetition of my demand to know what he meant by completing the puzzle to let him work. I found myself torn between watching Janice squirm further as she watched the evidence against her being gathered, and actually seeing that evidence gathered myself.

In the end, I went for the latter. I needed to know. Aderic examined the mug closely, brushing a finger inside before smelling and then licking it. He grimaced in distaste for a moment before moving on to the satchel, where he took out a series of vials and, in turn, opened them to check their contents. With each item he checked, Janice steadily grew more still, her fear building, until it spiked when he withdrew a flask.

He sniffed at the contents and recoiled, not tasting it at all.

Carefully returning everything to the satchel he looked out into the crowd. "Joseline, if you could examine everything please." He said, waving for Orion to take the items to her. "You have as much skill as I in this matter, and more familiarity with this particular brew."

"She's biassed!" Janice shouted in a panic.

Her terror filled me with a degree of warmth, of grim satisfaction, and a dark smile found its way onto my face as I watched her. Every damning word Joseline said, confirming with Aderic that their conclusions were the same, made her fall further into despair and resignation. She had hidden the mug but had gotten so caught up in the Mingling herself she hadn't disposed of it properly. Hadn't washed it.

And both of them could tell that it had an ingredient that wasn't supposed to be there, and wasn't normally part of the tea. Something that wasn't contained in her normal alchemy bag, the satchel Orion had found.

Most of the vials she had were of mundane and simple materials, expected for any budding alchemist to have; even the preserved Peacebloom and Liferoot she had could be explained away as having common uses. But not the flask, not the concentrated extract contained within.

"Purple Lotus! Of all the things you added Purple Lotus to a Peacebloom brew!" Joseline growled before spitting at Janice's feet. "Do you have any idea what that can do if you make a mistake? Watchers all, I barely know! You certainly don't have the skills to prepare it, the bloody plant literally fades into thin air if you handle it wrong! I don't work with Lotus! It's too hard!"

The only thing stopping Joseline from physically reaching for and strangling Janice was Orion's arm on her shoulder, holding her in place as she continued her rant.

It was long-winded and heavily interspersed with vitriol aimed at Janice and her bumbling alchemical skills, how lucky she was to not poison herself, but it was also informative.

Normal Mingling Tea, a potion made from Peacebloom and Liferoot, was meant to lower inhibitions, curb embarrassment and fear, to embolden, to encourage, and arouse so that people would do what they wished without regrets or second thoughts.

But Purple Lotus made it different.

Not only were the fumes it gave off while it was being prepared dangerous, easily able to lull the brewer into a slumber, it also combined badly with a great number of herbs; enhancing them in ways that were dangerous to the imbiber. Peacebloom amongst them.

Where peacebloom removed inhibitions Purple Lotus induced suggestibility. Where Peacebloom soothed regrets and second nervousness Purple Lotus enforced recklessness.

I didn't know enough about Alchemy to understand everything she said, and I certainly didn't know myself the various ways Azeroth's magical herbs combined, but I knew full well the effects of those that could be found in Gilneas.

Largely found in dense woodland, clinging to ancient stone ruins under the shade of trees, not only was Purple Lotus hard to find, it was rare. And outright poisonous if eaten raw, not enough to be lethal in small doses, but... it dampened magic.

Someone who had eaten Purple Lotus plain couldn't be healed with magic. And likely would end up hallucinating or going on a dream quest; which one it was depended largely on what you believed.

The idea that mixing with Peacebloom, inhibition reducing and relaxing Peacebloom, meant it could be made into a suggestibility potion made sense to me.

It was clear that Janice hadn't at all known about that or any of the properties of the plant; it wasn't one of the ones Joseline and Aderic had found in her satchel. She was no master alchemist who knew the intricacies of the interactions between ingredients.

The horror that mixed with the fear as Joseline explained every little thing that could have gone wrong brought out some mixed feelings from me, but... I still enjoyed watching her squirm.

In my distraction, I didn't notice a proper gathering happening, enjoying Janice's torment too much, and failed to respond to a number of calls to my name. I was aware of them, faintly and distantly, but it wasn't until Vivi yanked on my arm and hissed into my ear to pay attention that I gave them any thought at all.

"Gwyneth, if you could confirm Alwyn is the one who took advantage of you last night it would be appreciated." Aderic said dryly as I finally turned towards him.

Behind him was what had to be every witch still here, some of whom didn't look happy to be present; hungover, exhausted and falling asleep on their feet, or one or two physically restrained by their fellows. One of the last, Alwyn by Aderic's gesture, was the man I had been so close to last night. His distinctive braided beard made him easy to recognise.

"Yes," I said numbly, my mind emptying as a shiver passed through me. A ghost of his touch washed over my skin that set every part of me on edge. "That's him."

There was more I should say, some accusation I should make, something that would make clear what he'd done to me.

But I couldn't. The words wouldn't come.

My heart was beating faster and, for the life of me, I couldn't tell if it was from fear or something else.

All I could do was stare and listen, holding tight to the hand Vivi had slipped into mine as Aderic and Celestine went over what he had been accused of. As they went over their evidence, the testimonies of those that knew me and what I'd planned; the clear intent I'd made to be with Trix and Richard last night, to not take part. Others, who saw me being led away by Alwyn and caught up with him within minutes.

Some made the argument that he couldn't have known, that it was well-known girls fell over themselves for Alwyn. And Alwyn himself proudly pointed out he had two daughters and a son amongst their number, that he did plenty to invigorate their order.

But one man, amongst those gathered around Meredith – hemmed in as she was – spat on the floor.

"Bad enough you do it to the uplands girls, but to kin?" He shook his head and turned to march away from the group he had been part of. "That I will have no part in."

"Sod you, Johnathon." Alwyn hissed, his deep bass voice resonating in my chest. "They all want it! Like she did!" He threw a hand in my direction. "I don't do anything they don't want! Never have!"

I deflated, the earthy scent of a forest on a warm summer's day reminding me of just how I had felt. I'd thrown myself at him, responded willingly, and...

And...

"Vivi," I whispered, "do you smell something?"

She looked at me oddly for a moment, her grip slackening, then took a sniff. Instantly she scrunched up her nose. "People," She grimaced, "Lots and lots of people and... and sex."

Taking a deep breath through my nose I could pick that up as well, but it was by far the lesser smell. Not that it... I shook my head, blinking and focusing on Alwyn. Something was wrong, again, and as I looked at him and the way his magic was working, wafting away from him, a magic that I knew so incredibly well I scarcely noticed its presence anymore when I was feeling it.

Life, the warm earthy forest tones of Life; only with an undertone of masculinity to it. A musky scent that dulled my senses and made me wonder why I cared.

Why would I care... it... it was my own...

I shuddered, blinking madly as I raised my hand above my head, reaching for the sky, and called.

The subdued arguments stopped entirely as a ray of Starlight shone through the canopy and into my palm, the magic flooding me and purging the foreign influence entirely. Last night I hadn't dealt the poison in me, I couldn't, not with it being Purple Lotus based. But something had gone away, I'd... I'd just gotten rid of this, this manipulation of my emotions that had so nearly made me his plaything.

"I didn't even know that was possible." I said, my voice thick and almost wavering. His influence was gone but that didn't stop my skin from crawling, from a knot of disquiet tightening in my gut as I was violated again. "I mean, I know there is magic that can... that can mind control people. But ours?" I sent a burst of disrupting Astral magic through Vivi, disrupting the subtle working that was driving her words Apathy. Dulling her feelings and thoughts and making her not care about what was happening with Alwyn. "I hadn't thought it was possible. I wish I had been right."

"Like I said," Johnathon said, looking at me curiously. A flicker of recognition came to me, he was the one who had complained to me about breaking tradition before the induction. "He's up to his old tricks again."

As much as I might want to, I couldn't break the spell on the people here, my mind was working clearly enough to know that it would go down badly. But, there was another way to do it. "A little help, if you would," I whispered breathlessly into the air, and the wind shifted in answer.

I clasped the light I'd drawn and spun it in front of me, casting it out to wash over Alwyn and disrupt any magic there; it was accompanied by a burst of wind that tore away the scent of Life from the air and ripped his breath out of his lungs.

For a moment, he choked, gasping for air that wouldn't come, before he heaved in a deep and desperate breath.

Meredith took one look at me before stepping forward. "Speaker! She has attacked one of those judged, surely you cannot–"

"I find my mind strangely clear all of a sudden." Aderic interjected, running a hand through his greying hair.

"–consider her to be rational. You must understand that she is just a child, lashing out at her–"

"No." Aderic snapped. "Alwyn is guilty. Guilty of using magic on Kin. Using magic to avoid judgement. Would any here deny that now?"

"Seems a bit cut and dry to me," Joseline said with a chuckle, "arguing that someone was willing while using magic to make people side with you. Or just not care enough to punish you?" She shrugged. "It's like saying you never stole any fish while plucking scales from your teeth. Thank you, Gwyneth, that was foul."

Alwyn went faintly pale, still trying to suck in air, as he realised that nearly everyone was looking at him with some degree of anger.

"Last night was worse." I said flatly, shuddering at the thought of how when I'd bumped into him almost all reasoning had left me. Fuck, I thought Shadow magic was the one with mind control, not Life.

But it made a twisted sort of sense. It didn't control me, it just... twisted my emotions. This dulling had been weaker than... what I'd felt before. Maybe that was because it was better at heightening emotions than dulling them, or maybe it was because... because lust was more primal, or maybe just because I had already been primed by the poison Janice had made me drink to be susceptible to it.

I didn't know and didn't want to. Now, though, I would have to learn how it worked just so I could counter it.

"In the future, I ask that you ask before performing such an act, Gwyneth. Necessary as it might be." Alwyn said, giving me a wink. "And, of course, I would appreciate you sharing that trick as well."

The levity was wasted on me and I grit my teeth. Fuck asking when someone was meddling with my mind without my consent or prior knowledge.

While there were dozens of ways I could see this kind of mental manipulation being useful, both in combat and without, it still put me on edge. I'd always had something of a fascination with mind control; what depressed person didn't wish for a switch they could flip to just feel better? To escape the endless days, weeks, and even months or years of malaise that consumed their lives?

I certainly had, before. Given mind control powers the first person I would've turned them on was myself.

But for every legitimate and even positive usage, there were a dozen foul ones. Mind control without consent was far worse than just killing someone in my mind.

Vivi looked at me and the fact I wasn't responding, that I was biting something back, and turned to address Aderic and everyone else. "Well, Gwen's run a school for years now. Not a big one, but that's because of a lack of students! If someone wants to learn they're free to come." She nudged me gently. "Right?"

It took a great deal of effort to just nod rather than get annoyed at her.

She knew the part of my plan that involved getting everyone more willing to share, and that I was offering up what I knew to start, but it still bothered me. Stupid. Stupid, it shouldn't, she spoke when I couldn't. She didn't do something I didn't want her to.

I took a deep breath and squeezed her hand, a conscious decision, to say I was grateful. I didn't feel it but it was what I should be feeling.

Aderic and Celestine conferred quietly and the crowd reshuffled somewhat, people moving around as they watched. There seemed to be some level of excitement as it became clear they were about to cast their judgement.

"And thus it comes to our decision." Aderic said after they finished. "Though Alwyn's guilt is plain, we are not done. Another aided him in this, aided him in assaulting and attempting to abuse kin."

Alwyn's eyes snapped to Meredith, and for a moment a wicked smile grew on his pale face. He wasn't happy but he had realised something. And so had she, a fierce glare aimed right back at him as she mouthed some word.

"Meredith." Alwyn said, grinning maniacally. "Was sodding Meredith's plan. Never did get to fuck Irwen like I wanted, and she convinced me her baby girl would make a fine substitute. She–"

"Shut up!" Meredith hissed, her composure fleeing. "Shut your foul–"

"Sod off! You got me into this!" He yelled back, shouting over her. "If I'm getting buggered by this, you are too!"

"Bugger," Trix mumbled, tasting the word. "What's buggered?"

There wasn't a hint of loyalty as Alwyn tore into Meredith, implicating her in what he did. How she was angry her first plan to discredit me was foiled by a fox, how after I didn't do as expected under the poison they'd fed me by just dancing with a friend he got sent to make sure things went like they were supposed to.

How it was her idea, no matter how much she protested it.

I didn't think he was being entirely honest. He was clearly trying to throw her under the bus, but at the same time... it was satisfying to see them self-destruct. Petty spite was ruining Meredith's life just as she'd tried to ruin mine out of the same.

Other names got thrown around, Howard, Alys, Thomas – the child who had distracted Vivi – and even Johnathon, but it always came back to Meredith and Alwyn. That he enjoyed claiming girls' virginities and collected them, that she was the one to brew the poison they made me drink.

People reshuffled further as opinion clearly turned against Meredith, some still remaining staunchly at her side and claiming she hadn't done anything wrong, that Alwyn was just lying to try and save himself, or even that while she'd planned something it was hardly so horrid as it was being portrayed as. After all, I was just a slip of a girl, and why wouldn't I want to take part in the Mingling?

I wanted to strangle the lot of them. I considered it an incredible act of will that I didn't; and an act of Celestine that the few abortive attempts I'd made to throw them off with roots, branches, or other magic were stopped. Even if she couldn't sense magic, it had quickly become apparent the Duskwing Raven on her shoulder could to some degree and was informing her.

"Enough!" Aderic said, cutting across the arguments. "Enough, we have debated enough. It is time for a decision. Alwyn Ap Rhys' guilt is plain, as all here witnessed it. No vote needs be cast here, but others are accused as well. Meredith of no name,"

"Storm," Meredith hissed, looking frazzled.

"Stands accused of aiding in Alwyn's crime." Aderic said, continuing over the interruption. "Who here denies her guilt?"

There was a smattering of hands, a scant few of her die-hard supporters. Five, five in all; three women, one man, and Meredith herself.

"The girl will see us all killed!" Meredith shouted, seeking further support. Disappointingly, as none emerged, she simply withdrew her hand and crossed her arms. Settling in to glower at Alwyn.

"And who here claims her guilty?" Aderic said, with dozens of hands rising. There was a short pause, to see if there were more, but... it was perhaps forty. Out of a hundred present. Most simply chose not to vote. "Then the matter is settled, and her judgement shall be made."

"What about Janice?" I hissed.

She was still tied to the tree, having watched the proceedings with rising fear and anxiety. Satisfying, but Alwyn had been far more entertaining in his mutual destruction of Meredith for a while.

"Ah, yes. Janice Wendsworth." Aderic said, looking up at her. "Our third accused. We have heard enough to judge her guilt as well. Who here denies her guilt?"

It was telling that Janice held lesser ties, lesser connections, that though Meredith had been of far greater discussion and accusation that only one person besides Janice herself raised their hand in her favour. Those against... were also fewer in number than against Meredith, most not caring, but still more than a dozen. The flawed nature of the system was clear to me, with none advocating in her defence like there would be in a proper court of law...

But I couldn't bring myself to care.

"Three stand accused, and three have had their guilt acknowledged. All guilty of the same crime, yet to different degrees." Aderic said, waving a hand from Alwyn to Meredith and ending with Janice. "They will be judged in turn."

"For the first, the choice is simple." Celestine said, slashing her hand at Alwyn. "Banishment, with no delay save that which is necessary to ensure he recalls nothing of our home nor our ways. Joseline, begin preparing the draught at once."

Joseline looked startled, hesitating a moment, before nodding. "Yes, Speaker." She said with no little trepidation.

"The second... banishment, again." Celestine merely stared at Meredith. "A plot such as this has not been seen since the Crowskins, when sister turned against sister and brother against brother. Such division will not be allowed to take root again."

Meredith scoffed and shook her head. "If you wish to see us all dead, then I want no part in it." She paused, eyeing Celestine. "Not going to demand my mind too?"

"No," Celestine said, narrowing her eyes. "You are merely to leave and never return, Meredith. You are no longer welcome in this grove."

The Duskwing Raven croaked deeply and the air turned cold, the weight of Tal'Doren suddenly present and paying attention. But, it wasn't us it was focused on.

Meredith shivered for a moment, but quickly steeled her spine. She straightened. "I will–"

"Leave." Celestine snapped, giving her no chance to speak. "You will walk away, carrying nothing, speaking to no one, until you are beyond this forest. And shall never step foot in it again."

For a moment Meredith stood still, glaring at Celestine, before simply turning her back and marching into the trees of the Blackwald; away from the glade.

A murmur of discontent ran through the crowd, a few quiet protests for the declaration, accusations of favouritism. But none so loud as to bring it to the fore, to be brought about. But some clearly thought it was too much.

Simple banishment too much for a drugging, mind control, and rape plot.

"Fuck them," I growled, making note of those I saw saying those things.

"The third," Celestine said, looking at Janice where she still hung, "took no lesser part. And yet."

"Perhaps the victim should decide her punishment?" Aderic said. My head snapped up, my eyes meeting his; he was looking for something, evaluating me.

I looked out over the crowd, seeing frowns and frustration. Disagreement and disapproval. This was a terrible idea.

"Agreed." Celestine said after a moment. "Gwyneth?"

"Mercy," Janice said, lowering her head. "I– I wasn't tricked. I was afraid, I don't want your–"

"I know!" I snapped at her, my voice shrill and screaming. "You're afraid, scared of the big bad nobles! Well, sod you! I'm scared of being drugged and raped, and it nearly happened! Your fear won't come to pass, not without people fighting and dying for you! Darius' men know me, they know what will happen if they don't keep you safe. I heal their sodding bones and fix up their scrapes. They aren't prejudiced against Witches, not anymore."

My hands shook with fury, all of her decisions were just because she was scared. Looking at the assembled witches I could tell they didn't have the stomach for another banishment. Alwyn's had gone down easily enough, Meredith's less so, but Janice?

Fuck.

If I did it, if I got rid of her...

This is why they were staring at me. Watching what I did. Why was Celestine putting this on me?!

"Not banishment." I grit out, hating every moment of it. "No, you don't deserve that. Instead, you will take part in the plan, you will work with Darius' men, and you will ensure our people, the people of Gilneas, do not go hungry." Force her to face her fears, force her to do the thing she had tried to avoid. Make her useful while doing it.

It didn't make me happy, it didn't make me feel satisfied. But as I saw Celestine nod fractionally, approval glimmering in her eyes, I felt that maybe I hadn't fucked it up at least.

"Work yourself to the bone, Janice. Make up the harm you caused helping others."

Glorified community service was far too good for her.

"A fair judgement," Aderic said with a nod. "Who here denies it as such?"

I ignored the murmured comments, turning and pulling Vivi away. I wanted nothing to do with listening to what came after. I should have stayed, I should have seen it through, but I didn't bloody want to.

At least no one stopped me from leaving.