So I worked security for a funeral (Patreon)

I stood on the church steps, vigilant for any maniacs that would attempt a Dylan Roof attack an overcrowded church building. This place was built right after the civil war, and despite over a century of renovations, the parking lots were still quite small for the occupancy. 

There were 2 parking lots total, east and west. The west lot filled up extra fast, and the east lot was reserved for the family. So with no other options, people to park along the road -a narrow country road.

Now recall how I said this family weren't the classiest bunch? Well from my vantage point atop the church steps I could see everyone within walking distance of the church. And looking to the east, I could see this fat black lady along with two other men were down the middle of the road as if they owned it. And it would just so happen that the biggest and whitest truck EMBLAZONED with the confederate flag had come up behind them.

So I look away for 30 seconds, assuming that they'd move out of the way. Well 30 seconds later I look back to see that they hadn't, and now there was an entire procession of redneck trucks trying to get through.

Oh no.

Parking traffic was at his heaviest, and even though there were ten other men and several men from the funeral ho working with us, there was no one available to deal with it. So in a panic, I jump down the church steps, run through the parking lot, and run down the road to get them to move.

Waving my hands I yell, "GET OUT OF THE ROAD! GET OUT OF THE ROAD! MOVE TO THE SIDE AND GET OUT OF THE ROAD!"

And instead of listening they look at me like I'm a retard and proceed to keep blocking traffic! 

"This nigga." the fat lady says.

So I yell again "GET OUT OF THE WAY SO PEOPLE CAN DRIVE THROUGH!"

To which this bitch looks back over her shoulder at the redneck who his about to run her fat ass over, shrugs, and looks at me to say,  "He can see us!" And refuses to walk on the side of the road. -I then have to guide these trucks and cars around her, and they kept walking down the middle of the road until they were at the front entrance. 

Now remember this is a funeral. We have grieving family members gathering, because of this entitled cunt and her two oafs, we now have a bunch of rednecks blaring their horns and skidding past.  And these shit piles did. not. care. A total 180 from the sweet and kind woman whom had passed away. Like night and day.

-This is just one of several stories from throughout the afternoon. Other people working security, parking, and ushering had to deal with their own problems but this one was mine.

My only respite as petty as it is, was seeing later that because so many seats were taken, these 3 were forced into the very back of the balcony were historically the air conditioning doesn't work.