Daily Free-Write December 29, 2020 (Patreon)

"Roll your attack!" shouted Brandon. 

"I got a 16." said Barry. 

"That's not going to hit it," said Brandon, shaking his head. "Sorry, man." 

"Wait, I'm on higher terrain, so I should get an advantage. It should increase my attack." 

"That's 3rd edition, dummy," said Harry, waving his lanky arms in the air, disturbing the smoke in Brandon's Mom's garage. 

"Whoa, whoa, guys. Come on. You know the rules. We never let it get personal." 

Barry sat down his big gulp. "You want to have words, Hair Bear?" 

"Hey, you know I hate that nickname." said Harry, gritting his teeth. 

"Hey! You two!" said Brandon, standing up, his fiery red hair mirroring his own intensity as he slammed his hands on the table. "Knock it off! Brandon, stop rule doctoring the game. Harry, leave the procedural explanation to el boss-o. Comprende?" 

"Yeah yeah," said Harry, his voice trailing off as he began muttering to himself. "Think you're so fancy because you speak French." 

"What's that?" asked Brandon, looking Harry in the eye. 

"Nothing," said Harry, quickly. 

Barry stuck his tongue out at Harry and blew a raspberry. 

"Hey, I saw that!" said Brandon.

The fourth person in the room coughed out a large amount of smoke. 

"Whoahhh, dudes. Don't start the battle without me!" 

"Have you been holding your breath this whole time?!" asked Brandon, fed up with his sucky Castles and Kobolds group. 

"What? Oh yeah, I forgot to exhale. Hey, by the way, does anyone have an extra set of dice?" 

"You know what?" said Brandon. "That's it, I've had it. You're all a bunch of children. I wish that you could all just act your age!" 

Brandon's book glowed green for a second, but barely anyone in the room noticed it, except for Stoney Sam, who was so high that he could only laugh at what he saw. 

Brandon stood up to leave. 

"Tonight's campaign is cancelled." 

He was met with a chorus of pleases and sorries 

"No, man, don't cancel it!"

"We're sorry! Come back!!!" 

"Duuuude! That's too harsh! It was just getting good!" 

Brandon had made it halfway to the exit when he turned around to speak.

"You know this is really hurting my f-... uh... guys?" 

He shook his head. The three players were seated neatly at the table. The big gulp was gone. The bong was nowhere in sight. The smoke and cheeto crumbs were nowhere to be seen. They even sat straighter than they had before. They all looked expectantly at him. 

"Uh... that's more like it!" he said, returning to the table. "Now where were we?" 

He flipped through his notes. "Uh.... uh... here... Okay... uh... Okay is there anything you want to do with your turn? You still have your bonus action..." 

"Yeah," said Barry. "I'm going to cast nullify on the kobolds." 

Okay, go ahead and burn a spell slot. And the kobolds fail their fortitude check. Alright, let's see what this does... it... hmm... I don't recognize this spell..." 

"Here," said Barry, pulling up the spell list on his phone and showing Brandon. "The targeted creature is rendered sexless for 2 minutes. During this time they become passive, and if they fail a smarts check, they are submissive to the caster." 

"Okay... the kobolds fail the smarts check. They are submissive to Throbdor." 

"Hehe, excellent." 

"Uh... okay that's a weird spell... anyway... next it's Harry's turn." 

They won the battle handily, and moved forward with two submissive kobolds in tow. Throbdor grabbed some enchanted collars from his bag - had he always had those? - and locked them on to maintain the effect of the spell indefinitely. The adventuring group went down the hallway, and through a door and... Brandon made his big reveal. He pulled away the cloth over the table to reveal a screen. It was a gaming table.

He smiled proudly as his three friends gushed and geeked out over his sweet new setup.

"So this is what you've been doing alone in here for the past month. We thought you were just whackin off - sorry clopping off - to my pretty unicorn porn or something."

"Haha, what? No!" said Brandon, his face fast approaching the color of his hair. "That's ridiculous... have you guys been snooping around on my computer again?"

"Dude, this is sick!" said Sam. "You made a nursery dungeon. Nice twist!" 

"Yeah, I... wait... what? I didn't make that..." 

"Don't be modest, my man," said Sam. "You obviously put a lot of time into it. It's even got a my pretty unicorn theme."

"B- but I-"

"No need to be embarrassed, buddy," said Harry. "I like the Care Critters, so what? We're your friends, we want to play your campaign." 

"Yeah, but..." 

Brandon looked down at his notes in confusion. They were all different than he remembered.  Bottle monsters. Cursed Cradles? Rocking unicorns? He looked up at his players, who all stared back at him, wide-eyed an excited. For the first time they were actually excited about the game, about something he had made. Well, he hadn't exactly made it, but he didn't want to ruin the momentum dwelling on a little detail like that. He took a deep beath, and rolled his shoulders. 

"Alright, I guess we're going into a nursery dungeon." 

He began to read the description in his notes.

"As you enter the nursery, a high female voice calls out. 'Those who enter the vixen's nursery, had best be on their best behavior. Little ones who misbehave will find themselves in quite a conundrum.' A bat vixen appears in the air high above the colorful nursery floor." 

Brandon looked around. He could swear he heard the voice speak aloud when he read the description. Was that just him?

"Wow dude, you have sound effects and like... voices and shit?" asked Sam, peering down at the screen. Sure enough, the character was there, hovering in place. 

"Oops I'm supposed to stay in character, sorry," said Sam. "Uh... Who are you strange creature? What do you know about the Kobold's crystal?" 

The vixen replied. "My my, where are your manners? You had better address me as Mistress Muskerella like a proper adult. Naughty adventurers who act like children will soon find themselves looking and dressing like they act. It's like I always say, adventurers should act their age." 

Brandon gasped, and covered his mouth when everyone looked his way. He was sure she had winked at him when she said that. 

"I would like to see if I can discern anything about the creature," said Harry.

"Uh... uh... investigate. Right. Alright," said Brandon. "Roll a discernment check." 

"I got a 23." 

"On a 23 you see... uh.. " he read the description. "Holy shit. Okay, uh, it looks like she's working with powerful magic here. It doesn't look like she's got any weapons, but you can see that the nursery is actually set with traps all over. You should be very careful here because you sense that she is not malevolent, but something about the way she is speaking makes you feel uneasy in the pit of your stomach. Do you relay this to the others? Okay. So you all know this now."

The three players at the table got an uneasy look in their eyes. 

"I don't like this," said Barry. "I think maybe we should turn back." 

"Yeah, Maybe that's a good idea," said Harry. He moved his character toward the exit, and there was a clanking sound and lock icon appeared on the door. 

"H-hey, what gives?" 

The vixen laughed. "Leaving so soon? But we're just getting started. Let me give you a taste of what's in store if you don't play with Muskarella. 

She pointed at one of the kobolds and he began to glow, turning shinier and shinier, his eyes taking on a plastic look as well, now less alive and just fixed - like a cartoon. 

"He's turning into a toy. isn't that fun? You can have hours of fun with this little toy if you want. They're still nullified of course, but that doesn't mean you can't use their other holes. If you still know how to use your peepees in the next 10 minutes, that is." 

She laughed. 

The four guys at the table blushed, hunching over to hide their hard ons.

"Yo, that's really perverted, Brandon," said Sam, blushing. 

"Yeah, I totally would stop playing if I didn't work so hard on my character. Uh.. but let's just see where this goes," said Harry, trying to keep his voice steady.

"As you can see, Muskarella's Magic is no joke," said Muskarella. "If you want to escape, you'll have to play my game, but you're all such big strong adventurers it'll probably be too easy for you."

"Y-yeah!" said Barry. "Throbdor fears no sorceress. Axes speak louder than words!" 

"Uh.. roll a subjugation check," said Brandon, remembering that he was supposed to be leading the game. 

"Uh.. oh shit... natural one..." said Brandon. His voice cracking as he said "I'm... tough, lady... don't mess with limpdor... I mean..... uh... oh boy..." 

"Oh yes, Mr. Warrior. You're very scary. You've got Muskarella shaking in her boots. Well, if you're all so tough, then I'm sure you won't object to a little handicap just to make this fair. Otherwise, I'd have to take drastic measures." 

"We'll play your game, muskarella," chimed in Sam. "Krendal steps forward to accept her challenge." 

"Very good, wizard. Okay then. Open any of the toy chests in front of you." Seven chest icons appeared on the map in front of the players. "They all have different effects. Some are very minor, and others..." she nodded toward the subby kobold toy who was nuzzling Throbdor's loincloth as they spoke, "could be quite an inconvenience."

"I'm not afraid!" said Sam, but on a bravery roll he also rolled catastrophically low. Sam's knees were practically knocking into each other as he moved Krendal the wizard to the third chest from the left. "I open the chest." 

The icon turned green and faded to reveal... 

"...A diaper?" asked everyone in the group. The item description appeared on the screen. 

"Cursed diaper of regression. Diaper instantly replaces whatever gear player was wearing below the waist. They are left with only a thick colorful baby print diaper on. Player becomes completely incontinent and must make a diaper check roll each turn. Wet and messy conditions will affect their speed, and charm respectively. For every 10 minutes that pass, the character loses 1 point of smarts and regresses mentally and physically." 

"Uh... guys..." said Sam, as his pants began to glow. "W-what's happening?" 

Everyone jumped back as if Sam's Pants were about to explode. 

"I think his pants are on fire..." 

"Sam, put it out!"

"No wait it... what the hell?!" 

Sam was wearing a diaper, just like his character on the screen. 

The vixen laughed. 

"Oh, you thought this was just a little bit of make-believe? No, no. This is very real. You can thank you Castle Master for that." 

Everyone's gaze shot to Brandon, who held his hands up in supplication. 

"Now, now, boys, no fighting. that's what got you into this mess in the first place isn't it? Now go on and open your chests before your friend loses all of his smarts and turns into a real baby!" 

She laughed as they all watched Sam transform, looking suddenly like an older teenager of about 19 again, acne and all. 

"Uhh.. guys?" said Sam "I think I failed my potty check...." 

The others all made various noises of disgust. Barry had tried to run out of the room and found that the exit from the garage too was locked. 

"Well, what are you waiting for, you heard the lady! Go on and open your chests so we can all get out of here!" yelled Brandon. 

The guys all looked at each other and gulped. 

"You first!"

"No! You first!" 

"Time's ticking, boys!" said Muskarella, looking at her pocket watch. "Better hurry!"