Free-Write December 18, 2020 (Patreon)

Continuation of October 12, 2020 "Kiddo Cafe"

It was my first day on the job at Crinkle Cafe, and already I had been knocked over by one of the customers. They weren't even trying to do it. Just some dumb college kids coming in to laugh at the little fun-sized waiter in his diaper. Due to my small size an innocuous (though annoying) pat on the back was all it took to sent me to the ground. And now I was staring into the eyes of athe strikingly handsome man who had cleaned up my booboo and put a Melmo bandaid on my knee. He had just pulled me into his lap. A customer had pulled me into his lap. A red alert flashed in my mind. 

Abort! Abort! Get out of here now! 

But the rules my manager had just pounded into me in the nearly nonexistent training session were clear  as well. Give the customers what they want. Whatever it takes. Just keep them happy and coming back. 

This was my first 10 minutes on the job and I was already in a red flag situation. 

"Are you okay, sweetheart? You look a little shaken up. Those big boys sure were rough, huh?" 

I gulped an nodded, remembering myself. I quickly slipped back into character. 

"Y-yeah, dey was meanies. I hope dey don't come back."

"Well, don't you worry. If they do I'll make sure they don't lay a finger on you - and they're going to give you a big tip too." 

He flashed a smile and patted the front of my diaper. I fought hard to stay calm as he did this, but I wanted to punch him one for picking me up. I wiggled sideways and put my hands on his massive thighs to support myself as I got off of his lap and back onto my feet. 

I cleared my throat and took my notepad from the little apron around my waist - an apron that ended must above my belly button to show off my diaper. 

"Ahem. Wat would you wike to owdow? I got nummies and dwinks and wots of good stuffs fwom da menu!" 

He smiled back. 

"I'd like a latte and a piece of strawberry cake, please."

"Otay. One watte and a piece of pawbaby cake coming up!"

"I'm sorry, could you say that one more time?" 

He had a big smile on his face but it wasn't mocking like the last customers. For some reason I felt strangely flattered, so I repeated it again for him.

"One watte and a piece of pawbaby cake. Did I do it wight?" I tilted my head and put my finger on my chin like I wasn't sure.

"Ohhh, you did perfect, baby boy! You got it exactly right. Oh, could you do one last thing for me before you go, sweetheart?"

I had already turned to leave but I stopped. I took a breath and smiled before turning back to look. 

"Anyfing for da customows! What can I do fow ya?"

"Take of those shoes and socks. I don't want to see another spill, otherwise I might just have to keep you in my lap where I know you won't get hurt!" 

I stood there for a second, a little shocked by the strange request. But then I looked down. Saw that my shoes were untied. I thought of stooping down to tie them but the manager's words rang in my head and I thought better of it. 

"No pwobwem!" I said, stooping down to take off my shoes and socks. I carried them in one hand as I toddled back to the kitchen, crinkling loudly with each step. 

"What a matter, kiddo?" asked the manager after I dropped of the order on the line. 

"Its the customers... I... didn't expect this to be so hard, sir. The first ones were just lookie loos, they didn't even buy anything-"

"We're gonna have to work on that," he said, with a frown. "We get a lot of those. The trick is to make em order before you give em what they want. That's usin' your noggin."

"Well, okayy," I said doubfully, "but then the next customer made me really uncomfortable. One of the lookie loos knocked me down and this guy gave me a bandaid to fix my booboo... and he pulled me into his lap. Then he made me take off my shoes!"

I held up my shoes so the manager could see. 

"Hey, that's good! It means he likes you. Your repeat customers are your best friends. They'll keep coming back and they'll leave you big tips when they do. It's good for you and me!"

"Yeah, but he made me really uncomfortable," I said, setting the shoes on the floor and stepping back into them. 

"Hey, what are you doing? Don't put those on! It's like I said, the customer is always right. Now go out there and shake your diaper. See if you can get him to order something else." 

Either this manager was a sleaze ball or he really didn't get it. I tried one more time to get it through his thick skull that I wasn't prepared to deal with aggressive customers. 

"Look. I'm not going to go out there until I know I can do my work without being manhandled. You gonna tell me how to deal with these assholes or do you want to get someone else for the job?"

"Hey, look, kid. It's part of the job," he said laughing. But I wasn't laughing, and his laughter quickly died off. "Okay, okay. No need to get bent outta shape, kid. Lemme talk to him, okay? You just keep your cute little but here and keep those shoes off. I'll be right back." 

He nodded to me and put on his serious face, then he marched out there to talk to the man in the booth. I peeked around the doorway and watched the conversation. The manager and the man exchanged some words. I couldn't tell what they were saying but the manager pointed my way, there was some animated conversation, and the two of them shook hands. I ducked back into the kitchen as the manager returned. 

When he walked in, the manager signalled to the barista, who went over to do something on the espresso machine. Then he came to me. 

"It's all good, kid. I spoke with him and you have nothing to worry about.  He'll keep his hands to himself. If anyone touches you in the future, you let me know right away, okay?" 

I breathed a sigh of relief. 

"Yeah, okay." 

The barista came up and handed me an espresso shot in a tiny paper cup.

"Hey kid, here, take a shot of this. It'll help, trust me." 

"Isn't this stuff like, super strong?" I asked.

"Don't worry, it's our special blend. All the babies use it. Helps em get into character. Just call it liquid courage."  

"Order up!" called the barista. I looked at the ticket. It was for him. I scanned the ticket. His name was Alex. I looked don at my diaper and my bare feet.

"Okay, gimme that shot." 

I took it down in one gulp and crumpled the cup in my bare hand before tossing it across the room into the kitchen trash.  I took a deep breath and looked ahead. It was showtime. 

Walking the latte and the cake up to Alex's booth should have been easy. It was a lot harder to do in a thick diaper,  though, and I struggled to keep from spilling anything. 

On the way another customer called out, "Aww, is the little baby still learning how to walk? Such a cutie!" 

I blushed bright red as I reached Alex's table and set the items down. I knew what I looked like, but I still had to get used to this persona. It didn't help that I was serving a man that was probably close to my age, yet much more mature looking. 

"I hope you enjoy Awex," I squeaked out, trying to keep my cool. 

"Yes, little one. Thank you." he said, with a smile. That was it. No butt pat. No pulling me into his lap. I relaxed. 

He leaned in and said in a quieter voice,

"I'm sorry about earlier. I know you're not really a little boy. And I'm sure you don't even need diapers. I guess you were just so cute I couldn't control myself. Please forgive me."

I blushed more. He thought *I* was cute? From the way he said it I felt like he wasn't just talking about baby cute, either. 

"Th-thanks," I said,  my mouth strangely dry. "I appreciate that. I-I mean... I appweciates dat, sir."

"Please, call me Uncle Alex. I hope that means everything's okay... kiddo?" He gave me a wink as he said this last word. 

I nodded and smiled.

"Yeah, its aww good Unca Awex. Is dere anyfing ewse I can get you?"

"That's all for now, sweetie. But are you sure you're okay? You're doing the potty dance..."

"What?" I said, confused. "I'm not doin tha potty da-..." 

That's when I felt it. Something warm in the front of my diaper. I looked down. I was peeing myself. 

"Uh oh, somebody had an accident. And you said you weren't a baby." The man turned and yelled toward the kitchen. "Excuse me, can we get the manager? My server just had an accident."

This could not be happening. Not here. Was I really wetting my diaper on my first day - my first hour of the job?