Chapter 353 - School Life VI (Patreon)

AN: Early chapter so people get more time to finalize any patreon changes they want to make before I shuffle the tiers. Reminder about it here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/announcements-70548217

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New quarter, new classes! More anatomy classes, cantrips in wizardry, cellular biology, and a class dedicated to useful general skills, and how to get them.

Iona had blessedly passed her remedial math class, but was gamely tackling a second one, reasoning that she needed enough math to work out logistics. I was proud of her!

Comparative Monster Anatomy was a small class, compared to the huge lectures of the introductory biomancy courses. A number of people had gotten weeded out, or took different courses, and we’d gone from a large lecture hall, to a cozier classroom. Instead of rows of desks, we had medium-sized tables, with enough chairs to sit three at a table.

Naturally, most of the students grabbed one chair on either end, leaving the middle open so everyone would have more elbow room.

Just as naturally, the early students grabbed seats as far back in the room as possible, slowly filling in towards the front.

[*brrrring!* Hope we’re sitting down in our chair for Monster Anatomy!]

There were seats further back, but I took the desk front and center of the room, boldly sitting down in the middle seat.

It was a bit of a gamble, but one that I felt comfortable making. If there were several other eager beavers, I could end up stuck at one of the one three-person tables. However, if there weren’t, I’d be at one of the only single-person tables, able to spread my notes around as much as I’d like.

I spread my notes and books out on the desk, hoping to dissuade anyone from sitting next to me. I mentally cursed as two ogres entered the door, and made a beeline for my desk. They each grabbed one of the chairs next to me and sat down as I hurriedly gathered my papers.

The two of them practically squashed me between them, ogres being one of the larger humanoids.

Why me!?

“Hey! You’re Elaine, right?” The one on the left asked me. I eyed him suspiciously, but saw no reason not to answer. Maybe they were just as eager about the class as I was?

“Yes.” I answered, then remembered I should probably ask their name. “Who are you?”

The ogre gave me a toothy grin.

“Raith, no w.” He offered his hand.

I still smelled a rat. I didn’t know what was wrong here, but I smelled a rat.

There wasn’t anything I could point to though, so I took his hand and shook it.

“Pleased to meet you.” The other front tables each had two people on either end, and at this point, if I wanted to move, I’d just be crammed between two other people instead. It’d be insanely rude to Raith as well, and I couldn’t articulate a reason why I should move.

The professor walked through the door, and I dropped my hand, eager to focus on the lessons, and not my unwelcome tablemates.

Hopefully it’d just be one class.

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“Can we go stargazing tonight? Together?” Iona’s voice was shaky, like the foundation of her world had been rocked. She was staring at me intently, and I was a bit of a social idiot, but I wasn’t that much of an idiot. She clearly needed me, and the stargazing was just an excuse.

Of course I’d be there for my friend.

“Yeah! Working on upgrading [Celestial Affinity]?” I asked her.

She gave me a stiff nod.

“Exactly. That. Yeah. And a few other things.” She added onto the end.

It wasn’t the time or the place to chuckle, but boy did I like Iona’s inability to lie. She was always transparent. There were never secrets, or even little white lies.

“The observatory?” I asked.

She looked thoughtful a moment, and shook her head.

“The lake? Fewer people there.”

“Ok! Meet you there at sunset?”

She gave me a weak grin.

“Thanks Elaine. I couldn’t ask for a better friend.”

I flushed at that.

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“Auri, wanna come to the lake with us later?” I asked my pyromaniacal friend.

“Brrrpt? BRRPT brrpt brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrpt BRPT!” Auri landed on my desk, starting to roll over in ‘hysterical’ laughter at my suggestion.

I rolled my eyes.

“Would you rather I not invite you places?”

“BRRPT!” Auri shot up, wings thrumming as she zipped up to eye-level with me. “Brrrrrrrrrrpt!”

I folded my arms.

“That’s what I thought.”

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I met Iona down by the lake as the sun was setting.

Fun that I could figure out roughly where in the world we were, just by the combination of how far away sunset was from the class time ending, and from how warm it was compared to what season it should be.

It was warm, and the sunset was at the same time as classes ending.

Right now, we were on the opposite side of the world from Rolland, and somewhere in the northern hemisphere.

“Your time of day.” I remarked to Iona, tilting my head at the setting sun.

She gave a jerky nod, then grinned.

“Have I ever told you how I got that title?” She asked me. The Dusk Valkyrie started to walk along the edges of the lake, navigating along the dirt trail that weaved between reeds, bushes, and trees.

“Nope! How’d you get that name?”

“Well, it was right after Goblin’s Death.” She said, naming the famous incident that had seen hundreds of thousands of goblins die, as well as most of the Valkyrie Order. Last I knew it was a sensitive subject for Iona, but she was bringing it up on her own.

Iona’s therapist was doing good work.

“Sigrun titles us all personally, and she was as exhausted as the rest of us. I watched one of my friends get named Goblin Slayer, and the second one Goblin Smasher.”

I tried to stop the laugh, I really did. It came out as a barkling chuckle instead.

“Oh no!” I said.

Iona chuckled as well.

“Oh yes. I didn’t want to get named ‘Goblin Musher’, and I just knew that was my fate.”

“How’d you end up with a badass name instead?”

“Redirected Sigrun. Pointed out that my class was Celestial, which got her thinking about the stars and moons. It would’ve worked better if it wasn’t broad daylight!”

I laughed at the punchline, Iona dipping off the trail and into some bushes.

“Here’s a good spot!” Iona declared, stripping off her witch’s outfit. She neatly folded her clothes up, putting them under a bush. She then backed up a few steps, took a running start, and leapt into the lake, soaring dozens of feet before cannonballing into the lake.

I idly shielded myself and Iona’s clothes from the epic spray, then stripped down to my own underwear and waded in.

The lake sharply but consistently dropped in depth, making it abundantly clear that it had been artificially carved out of the landscaping to provide a water reservoir, and general place for training water skills. All the time in the sun had left it warm, and I started to swim around as Iona did her best shark impression.

It was like she’d been born to swim. In the water, under the water, leaping like a fish, Iona was in her element.

“The mighty akhult strikes!” Iona declared a moment before she dove down next to me.

“Wait!” I cried out as her hand gripped my ankle.

Knowing how futile it’d be, I took a deep breath as Iona dunked me.

A moment later we bobbed back up, Iona grinning at me as she flipped her hair out of her face.

“Rawr!” She growled at me.

I squeezed my cheeks, getting her dead-on with a spray of water from my mouth.

The horseplay continued as the sun set, the full moons rising over the edge of the island like the world’s larger voyeur.

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We’d both burned a ton of energy, and we relaxed by the side of the lake. Iona had her arms on the bank, propping herself up, and I was leaning on her shoulder.

Much easier on the neck than the rocks behind me.

“Iona?” I asked her.

“Mmmm?”

“What was wrong earlier?”

The Valkyrie was silent for a long moment, deep in thought.

“The gods.” She replied, her tone heavy.

I started up.

“You? The gods? You’re a [Paladin]!” I wasn’t being terribly clear, but Iona seemed to get what I was saying.

“I know.” Her words hung heavily. “I found out the great secret today. So great it’s taught in one of the basic religion classes.” I was sensing sarcasm.

I gave her a moment to expand, but she didn’t say anything.

Elaine-prompt away!

“What’s that?”

“The gods, all of them. They’re all people.”

That… that didn’t seem like a massive, Pallos-shattering revelation.

“Ok, yeah? Am I missing something?”

“I… I always thought they were something special. I believed they were special. Different. Divine. Perfect beings that I could devote my life to. I knew it. But… they’re not. They’re just people.”

I was missing something, but at the end of the day, I wasn’t particularly religious. Oh, I knew the gods existed, that they were up there and causing me grief, but that didn’t translate into worshiping them or chatting with them.

“Tell me more about that?” I asked her.

Iona leaned her head all the way back.

“Are you familiar with the level cap?” She asked.

“4096, the way I’ve heard it. That’s still the cap, right?” I asked.

Iona lifted one hand out of the water, shaking it back and forth.

“Kind of. You can argue 4095 is the true cap, or 4096. Hit level 4096, and boom! Become a goddess.”

The knowledge crashed over me, shaking my worldview.

The cap wasn’t the end, or maybe, in a sense, it was. Explained why there weren’t dozens of capped Immortals lording over the entire world. Once someone hit that level, poof! They were gone.

I continued thinking about it in silence, letting Iona wrap her arm around me. I huddled up, she was warm.

I frowned as a few things didn’t quite make sense to me. I twisted to lock eyes with the moons, challenging them.

I respected Lun’Kat’s strength. Her ability to annihilate me if she wished. But I’d spent too much time afraid of dragons. Flinching when their name was said.

“Two questions, two things that don’t make sense. One, I’ve heard Creation described to me. The gods predated Pallos. They made Pallos. How could they have come from Pallos, if they created Pallos?” I tilted my head up towards Iona.

Iona looked at me, our nose an inch apart. Awareness of just how close, and just how naked we were, flooded my mind, lending a blush to my face.

With some effort, I banished the thoughts.

“That’s… well, sure, but gods being people who hit the level cap are a thing. I was paying attention in class, and I doubt they were making things up.” Iona reproached me.

I gave my head a tiny shake.

“Sorry. I wasn’t trying to say they’re wrong, just that there’s more to it. I think.”

Iona looked thoughtful for a moment.

“Yeah. It was only the first class.” She said.

“Second are the moons.” I said.

“The moons?!” Iona jolted up, and with the way we were entangled, I naturally got dunked again.

I came up sputtering, shaking my hair to get the water out of it. I artfully aimed my splashes to get the most on Iona.

“Yes, the moons.” I grumped at her, pointing to the objects in question. “You’re aware they’re a mirage, right? There’s an illusion over them?”

Iona looked up at the moons, then closed her eyes. I reclaimed my warm spot next to her. Her lips moved soundlessly as she prayed.

She claimed that she regularly chatted with her goddesses, and that they talked back, but I wasn’t quite sure how literal that was. Plenty of people claimed divinities talked to them, when there was just a great echoing silence.

Her face morphed through a whole spectrum of emotions, some too subtle for me to properly read, others glaringly obvious. Dismay. Shock. Disbelief. Acceptance. Anger.

“Damn lizard.” She muttered after opening her eyes. My own eyes flew open at that.

Okay then. Iona did have a direct line to two goddesses.

“Anyways, I was able to see her level once. It was high. Stupidly high. The highest I’ve ever seen. If 4096 had people ascending, how is she still around?”

And because I couldn’t control my curiosity.

“Why don’t you ask your goddesses about the divine stuff?”

“I did. They told me it was for me to come to terms with on my own.” Iona muttered as she looked away.

Elaine to the rescue!

“Well! I can tell you they’ve been around longer than I have. And does their humble backgrounds change anything about them? Have they ever implied they’d always been around? Are there any stories about how the gods were created? Is anything fundamentally different now, than it was yesterday?”

Iona frowned, deep in thought. I did the hardest thing possible, something that all my instincts screamed at me not to do.

I let her be. I didn’t say anything, letting her stew in her own thoughts.

I did make sure to stay in the warm spot though. I was providing moral support, yup.

I did some thinking of my own on the topic. 4096 was the cap? The end?

Well, no. It wasn’t death, and it sounded like I’d survive. Just… changed. Different. It’d take me so many thousands of years to get there, I had plenty of time to enjoy life before that stage. On one hand, it was kind of presumptuous to assume I’d make it, but the other assumption was dying horribly in some ditch, and honestly, I rather liked planning on not dying in a ditch.

Iona’s revelation was like a ray of light.

I wasn’t going to die in a ditch.

I WASN’T GOING TO DIE IN A DITCH!

Ever since I’d witnessed Lun’Kat’s devastation on the wood dwarves, ever since I sprinted into the fight to try and rescue the giant, I’d known a fundamental truth about the world.

One day, I would die trying to save someone else’s life. As an Immortal, there was no other option. Disease couldn’t kill me, and it’d take one hell of an accident to bump me off. The world was a brutal and violent place, and with old age removed from the equation, a violent death was the only thing I had to look forward to. An elegant dance with Black Crow, and one day the music would stop playing.

Now, I had an alternative.

“Thank you Elaine.” Iona said. “You’re right.”

“Awww yes. What was I right about this time?”

Iona gave a half-hearted swat at my head.

“That it doesn’t matter. They’re the same people yesterday, as they are today. Nothing has changed. My understanding of them is simply more complete.”

She bowed her head and closed her eyes again.

All the hair on the back of my neck went up, and goosebumps went down my arm as I felt a mantle of pure power press down on us. Two different hands appeared on Iona’s shoulders, and I didn’t dare look past them to see who they were connected to.

I knew.

“Iona.” They whispered in unison, vanishing once again.

My hair started behaving itself again, and I shuddered. My thoughts were entirely swept aside as Iona flexed, drawing me into a hug.

“Elaine! You’re the best! Thank you again! Hey, wanna come back to my place and have sex?” Iona’s excitement and gratitude was infectious, and I was feeling pleased as punch until the last line.

“Buh.” I responded, not sure how to politely decline, while also keeping our friendship intact and non-awkward.

Telling someone to take a hike was roughly a twice-weekly activity.

“Ah, whoops, sorry, got too excited there. I apologize, that’s on me.” Iona dropped her arm, scooting away from me a hair to get a bit of distance.

I thought about what I was going to say for a moment, then said fuck it, and took a plunge. I was curious, and Iona had brought the subject up first. No better time to communicate about it, and while I was no great shakes socially, communication was key. I refused to lose a friend because I didn’t open my mouth and talk about things.

“Why?” I asked, shuffling a little closer to Iona. Some sort of ‘no no I still like you I promise’ gesture or something like that.

“Why what?”

“Why the casual sex? Why not a relationship with anyone?”

Iona silently pondered over the lake. I wiggled my foot under the water, watching the ripples form on the surface.

“I like sex. The idea of a relationship is alright, but why not have sex? It’s a ton of fun. How about you?”

Ooof. I hadn’t been ready for my own questions to get turned back on me. I spent a moment thinking about it.

“Sex is fine, but I don’t see the point in casual sex. It’s no fun if it’s not in a relationship.”

We whittled away the hours discussing relationships as the moons crossed overhead, glaring disapprovingly at us. I almost wanted to shoot them the finger, but Iona might’ve misinterpreted it. We discussed the nature of relationships, and the different types. We discussed sex, and Iona had a ton of insights on the subject, although my takes on consent weren’t things she’d conciously thought about before.

Iona was warm, and I huddled up near her again as we talked, resting my head on her shoulder. Sure, I could warm the water around me with Radiance, but this was more fun.

“We should get some sleep.” I rubbed my eyes, letting the tiredness stay instead of banishing it with [Sunrise]. Great skill, terrible for wanting to sleep in a few minutes.

“Yeah.” Iona got up, water cascading off her body like waterfalls off a mountain. She offered me a hand, and I took it, letting her pull me up.

“Hey, heal-o-saurus.” She continued to hold my hand. I didn’t try to free it.

“Yeah?”

“I don’t know if I’ll be any good at it. Maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow, panic, and decide this has all been a big mistake. But do you want to try a shortish relationship with me? Us graduating from the School puts us on a bit of a time limit, but during that time, want to try?”

My heart was thudding in my chest as Iona spoke, and I didn’t know what to say.

Well, no. I had some ideas what to say.

“I know we just talked about it, but you’re cool with monogamy, right?” I checked.

Iona nodded, her throat working. Was… she nervous!? Cool, calm, collected Iona?

“And you know it might be some time before I want to have sex. You’re cool waiting?”

“Yes.” Her eyes were huge.

I thought about it a moment longer, and couldn’t think of any other pressing issues. I couldn’t think of anything to say either.

Instead, I lifted myself up on my toes, and kissed Iona.

She kissed me back, and we held hands all the way back to our dorm.