Chapter 321 - Major Interlude - Iona - They Meet in a Tavern II (Patreon)

Usually, speaking in a person’s native tongue was great for settling people down. A fantastic conversation piece, as Iona always knew what language a person was most comfortable in, never needing to awkwardly speak in one of the keystone languages.

It wasn’t the case here. Far from being settled, Elaine went pale, needing to clutch at her chair. Iona reflexively shot a hand out to help stabilize her, but caught herself halfway through. Not only had Elaine not fallen over, but the Ranger couple had twitched in a dangerous way.

Iona thought it was entirely reasonable when a high level warrior suddenly went for the person they were protecting, but no. They weren’t the protectors at all, were they? They had to know her level. They were probably smoothers of some sort.

“You ok?” Iona asked, and Elaine gave a tiny nod. “Is there a language you’re more comfortable in?”

“What’s she saying?” The girl with no name asked Elaine.

“She was thanking me for saving her life.” She absently replied in a different language. How Iona knew that, she wasn’t quite sure - just one of the minor benefits of her blessing that made it all work. “In English.”

“Is that a problem?” Iona asked Elaine, sticking to the second language the pretty healer had shown proficiency in.

“It’s - agh, how do I say this? How do you know it? Are you from…” Elaine shook her head to clear it, her hair bouncing around in a way that pressed all of Iona’s buttons just right. It was unfair. Iona wanted to dislike her.

“I’ve got a divine blessing to understand languages.” Iona thought for a moment how much to reveal. [Magnetic Charm] helped give her a small nudge that being open and truthful would help here. She needed to have a talk with Elaine about her skills and classes, and ask her what the hell she was doing.

There were many, many things she wanted to do with Elaine. Getting into a fight - a real fight - was not on that list, but if push came to shove, if handling Elaine stopped another war, saved tens if not hundreds of thousands of people dying?

Iona wasn’t great at math, but she could run those numbers.

“I’ve also got a blessing that lets me read the status sheets of other people.” She admitted, and oddly it was the girl with no name’s turn to go pale. Iona gave her a look.

“You haven’t told them?” She asked, both distracting from her prior attempt at reaching for Elaine, demonstrating in a mostly harmless way that she was indeed telling the whole truth, and showing that she was mostly nice and helpful.

The girl with no name would probably be annoyed with her, but the truth was the best.

“Hang on.” The man - Julius - said. “We’ve had a terrible time with the language here. I think instead of looking through whatever Amber has traded to the fae, we have so many questions we need answered, and frankly, we need help. Could you give us a hand?”

The part about trading System parts to the fae was incredibly distracting for Iona, but she knew how to focus and prioritize, mentally noting to ask about it later. The Valkyrie gave Julius a beaming smile.

Of course she’d be happy to help. Anything to quietly get them merrily on their way, and out of Rolland. Preferably all the way to where the elves lived, anywhere they wouldn’t start a war by merely existing.

“Naturally! I think it’d be best if you told me how you got here.”

The five of them regaled Iona with the most absurd story she’d ever heard. One of the [Barmaids] quietly served Iona an extra-large breakfast, which she started picking at while listening. The Empire of Remus. A fairy ring. Amber selling things to the fae, and Elaine having unwittingly offended them.

Amber’s messed-up status was what convinced Iona more than anything else that they were telling the truth. Nothing could screw with the System’s status - except the fae had never been told what the rules were, and did whatever they pleased.

“... so together we stepped through the ring the fairy brought us to… here.” Julius finished saying with a wave. “Exited out here, saw dozens of notifications -”

“And spiders. Soooooo many spiders.” Amber shuddered.

“And a lot of spiders.” Julius conceded.

Elaine opened her mouth as if to say something, then closed it.

“Something to add?” Iona prompted, as Auri stole some food off her plate. Iona let the little bandit get away with it.

Elaine shook her head.

“Nothing important.” She said.

“Well.” Iona said as Auri tossed Iona’s pilfered breakfast off the table to a tail-wagging Fenrir. “I have so much to say I don’t even know where to begin.”

“Absolutely anything you can tell us would be invaluable.” Julius leaned forward, intently staring at Iona, showing his sincerity. “We are so lost. We know nothing.”

“Yeah, I can tell that. It’s like you’re children, needing to go to school.” Iona said, her appointment with the School of Sorcery and Spellcraft in her mind. “Hang on, what’s the date?”

The five of them traded looks.

“I mean, we have no idea, don’t ask us.” Elaine flashed a grin at Iona. “Late summer’s the best I can guess given the warmth and the crops, but for all I know magic’s changed everything, and there are super-skills and the world’s gotten warmer. For all I know, this could be mid-winter!”

Iona laughed at that.

“You’ll know when it’s winter here. No, I agree, it’s summer, I’ll ask someone later.”

She kicked back in her chair, putting her hands behind her head.

“Ok, I have no idea where to start with all this.” She said. “Normally half of the important stuff I need to tell you I’d have to tell you secretly, but if what you’re saying is right, nobody can understand us anyways.”

“An old Immortal could.” Elaine pointed out, almost desperately. “Someone who’s been around that long.”

Iona snorted.

“Nobody lives that long. If an accident or just misjudging a single situation didn’t do them in, then an Immortal War would’ve gotten them by now.” Iona spoke with complete confidence, ignoring the multiple glares she was getting.

“Night’s totally still alive.” Elaine grumbled. “And I’ll find Awarthril, Aegion, and Serondes if it’s the last thing I do.”

Artemis squeezed Elaine’s arm.

“You mentioned things to tell us secretly?” She said.

“Yeah. Ok, so. All of you are problematic.” Iona got everyone’s attention with that. Even Auri stopped feeding Fenrir more parts of her breakfast, fluttering over to sit on Elaine’s shoulder.

“First.” Iona pointed to Amber, then hesitated. “Actually, you’re probably fine generally. I’m just hung up on your status.”

Slightly embarrassed, Iona quickly moved on.

“You are a phoenix. I don’t need to say anything else.” She pointed at Auri. “But maybe I do. I hate to say it, but people will want to steal you.”

“No! NOBODY WILL STEAL ME! I AM NOT A THING!” Auri yelled, and Iona heard exactly what she was saying.

“Nobody said you were an object, just that others might see you like one.” Elaine soothed the bird’s ruffled feathers. Auri puffed up and pouted anyways.

“It Ok. Iona protect.” Fenrir growled at Auri, the two of them having become fast friends through the power of stolen food. Iona stroked Fenrir’s head, scratching him in exactly that spot under his chin that he liked.

“The odds of it going bad are slim here, especially if you stay quiet about what she is.” Iona reassured them.

“Unless we run into a [Pet Trader] or something.” Amber said, and got looks from everyone.

“Ok, ok, so. Merchants.” She said, fumbling a bit. “Merchants often get skills helping them appraise what they see. But! You need a tooooooooooooon of experience working with something before you get the skill, it’s usually narrow, and it’s not something you couldn’t figure out on your own already. The skill just speeds the process up. It’s why so many merchants focus on one thing. Uh. Used to focus on one thing? Yeah. Anyways! If there’s a [Pet Trader] who knows birds super well, they could glance at Auri and see that she’s super valuable. Or see that their skill doesn’t work on Auri. That might make them take a close look, and BOOM! Problem.”

There wasn’t a ton to say off that, and Iona continued.

“Julius and Artemis are where you’re going to start running into serious issues.”

The way everyone was staring at Iona had her hurry her explanation along.

“Generally - not everywhere, but most places - combat Classers are required to be sworn to a lord. Well, only once they’re over 256. Usually happens before then though. To be explicitly clear, this means anyone with the [Ranger], [Mage], or [Warrior] tag. This can manifest in a bunch of ways. The most obvious way is swearing to the service of the local [Lord].  Branches of the Hunter’s Guild can get a number of licenses that they can distribute - but again from the lord. Adventurer parties can be sponsored by a noble, there’s being the [Baron] in question, large Orders like the Valkyries have a number of permits, the town guard is usually flush with them, joining the army if you’re in the Han Empire, etc. There’s dozens of ways of getting permission, but you need permission. Normally, this isn’t an issue. Good luck getting trained as a [Spearwoman] without being a member of the trainer’s organization, and similarly good luck getting taught how to be a [Mage] without another mage teaching you. Usually, the teacher will pull the apprentice into their organization, and it’s rarely an issue. Similarly, it’s hard to find enough fights to level up without being part of a group. The rule, in practice, ends up being more that high level combat Classers need to prominently display who they’re with, or tell anyone who asks.”

Julius relaxed a bit.

“Well, I’m not sure what’s going on, or why you’re saying I’m problematic, but I’m [Leader]-tagged, not [Warrior]-tagged.”

Iona squinted at his highest class.

“You sure about that?”

“What happens if Artemis isn’t sworn to somebody?” Julius asked, ignoring Iona’s question. It had an obvious answer after all.

“At town entrances she’ll be asked to show documents, insignia, or some other mark of your service.” Iona explained, mentally manipulating her Mallium to form the Valkyrie’s distinct helmet. “Have it? Guards let you in. Don’t have it? They’ll try to arrest you.”

“That’s probably what the [Knights] we met on the road were arguing about.” Elaine speculated. “Debating if they wanted to hassle us for our documents or not. Maybe they saw Julius as a [Leader] and figured we were fine?”

“Why does that exist?” Julius asked.

“Sounds dumb.” Artemis agreed.

“It’s a check on bandits and the like.” Iona said with more confidence than she felt. She never had gotten a strong reason why, it was just the way things were. “When a bunch of [Sailors] turn to a life of piracy, either their classes are already over 256 and not a combat class, at which point putting them down is easier, or they’re starting from the 256 marker, giving us plenty of time to handle them before they grow into a threat that’s too large.”

Elaine got a thoughtful look on her face, her eyes focusing on nothing far away.

“Who are you sworn to?” Artemis eyed Iona’s half-helmet, clearly recognizing that it was her insignia.

“The Order of the Valkyries.” Iona proudly answered. “There’s not a lot of us left, but we’re a mostly independent Order, focused on [Knight-Errants] who travel around, and fix problems that are being ignored by others.”

“Cool!” Amber reached up for Iona’s head, then paused. “Can I touch?”

Iona graciously tilted her head, letting Amber feel the metal wings.

Elaine refocused back to the present, and gave Iona a frankly disbelieving look.

“You sure about your reasoning? It sounds to me like a way for the rich and powerful to stay the rich and powerful.”

Iona paused at that, her mind starting to work. She discarded the thought for the moment, mentally noting to have a deeper conversation with Elaine on the subject, and that she was as bright on the inside as the outside.

“No matter the reason, you’re not going to be let into any towns without an affiliation.” Iona said. “Not unless you borrow whatever Elaine’s using to hide her level.”

Elaine twitched at that.

“How’d you know?” She asked, not bothering to deny it.

“You’re in the most trouble.” Iona frankly told her. “The fact that half the tavern isn’t trying to lynch you is how I know.”

She paused for a moment.

“Could we go somewhere more private to discuss this? I feel uncomfortable mentioning it in a setting this public, different language or not.”

Elaine nodded and got up.

“Sure! Let’s go! Where to?”

“Well, normally I’d invite you to my room, but you saw the mess I made of my bed.” Iona said.

“Can probably use the room I was in last night. I doubt anyone’s claimed it yet.” Elaine said.

“Want me there? As long as money is somewhat involved, I’ve got a skill that helps with privacy!” Amber said.

“Sure. Fenrir, want to stay or come?” Iona agreed.

“Food. Many-color bird. Yummy.” Fenrir hissed. Iona took that to mean he was getting along swimmingly with Auri, who was making a fast friend with fast food.

The three got up and headed back to the stairs. As they walked, Iona took a moment to look over the rest of Elaine’s skills, a few more jumping out at her.

A capped anti-pain skill must be a legacy of unimaginable amounts of pain. Her healing skill looked to be a true panacea. An energy skill, although Iona thought hers was better. Her energy skill was a passive that was always on, as opposed to an active that required mana and thought, though it was applicable to allies.

There were no particularly interesting or special skills in her [Butterfly Mystic] class that Iona hadn’t seen before, although the combination of healer-mage was rare. The amount of schooling that healers needed generally attracted the bookish sort, and they tended not to fight themselves. No, a healer was far more valuable slightly behind the lines, protected by dedicated warriors and [Bodyguards], and the wounded brought to them. It was a poor use of resources for the healer to also fight, especially as they’d use their mana fighting - not healing people.

Plus, people that fought didn’t tend towards having long lifespans. The squires and Valkyries Iona had grown up with that were now no more than a tombstone attested to that.

A beloved class was interesting, and Iona would love to know what Elaine was thinking of taking for her third class. She felt vaguely cheated that she never had time to properly plan it out, taking whatever class was there and powerful in desperation. It had been the perfect class for her in the end, but there was something just fun about discussing and planning it.

[Bullet Time] was the first interesting skill in her general skills. Iona’s blessing gave her the language, not the context.

What was a bullet? The skill description made it clear it was something to dodge.

A capped [Oath] skill almost had Iona trip over herself as she climbed the stairs, enjoying the view. A capped custom [Oath], and a powerful one to boot. Wow. She didn’t know what the standard [Healer’s Oath] was to compare - Iona had always been more interested in weapons, fighting, and escaping chores than studying every other profession under the sun - but she imagined it stacked up nicely.

Also, Elaine literally couldn’t hurt her if she never gave her cause to. That made Iona relax. It wasn’t that she felt threatened by Elaine per say, but it was nice to know the living weapon an arm’s length away was incapable of harming her.

[Sentinel’s Superiority] got Iona’s hackles right up. The skill was blatantly lying!

“Peak of Humanity” her ass. Sigrun was leagues stronger than Elaine was, and entirely human. There were more humans out there significantly stronger than the Valkyrie’s leader to boot! The only thing peak about Elaine was her healing capabilities, but [Sentinel’s Superiority] was clearly combat-focused.

And it was stronger than [Valkyrie’s Valor]. That irked Iona somewhat.

It also mentioned being a guardian of humanity, and a last bastion. It annoyed Iona for a moment more before she remembered the story of the fairy ring.

Had humanity been on the brink of extinction when Elaine had lived? Iona mentally filed that question away, and then they were there, in Elaine’s room, the woman in question sitting on her bed.

“Come here! Sit down!” Elaine patted a spot next to her, and Iona let herself show a smile at the hilarious internal joke.

It hadn’t gone as she’d fantasized about, but she had wanted to get in the same bed as Elaine after all.

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Far away, in the divine realm, the home of the gods, two goddesses were lounging, practically on top of each other. Watching the finest entertainment.

“Ooooh! She’s pulled Iona into her room already!” Lunaris commented, watching the going-ons.

“And she did it, not Iona! HA!” Selene laughed, conjuring up a grape and tossing it into her mouth.

“That coin bent things well.” Lunaris said.

“Yeah, didn’t think they’d meet for some time.” Selene said.

“Oh for my sake.” Lunaris swore. “That damn overgrown lizard is at it again.”

“Trouble?” Selene could’ve just flexed her senses to check on the issue herself, but it wasn’t as fun or as nice as chatting with Lunaris. They had eternity together.

“Probably.”

Grim-faced, the two goddesses took a closer look at what Lun’Kat was doing.