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AN: Gore content warning.

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There was a sharp twang, and a blur in front of me.

A sickening thwack occurred, and a weak cough from Glifir, a spray of blood.

“Glifir!” I shouted as I ran forward, Fik looking on stupidly while a connection formed between Ned and Glifir. Drin ran forward with me, and we arrived at the same time.

The light in Glifir’s eye was fading as he coughed weakly, hands moving slowly up, then slumping back down. There was a broad axe, almost as long as Glifir was wide, embedded horizontally in his chest, nearly bisecting him.

I grabbed him, flowing [Dance with the Heavens] through him, imagining blood and bone, muscle and sinew restitching together, and started to pull Glifir off the axe trap. Drin arrived a moment later, and together, with a strong yank and accompanying sickening squelch, we managed to get the axe out of his chest, my healing restoring his ruined chest as the axe left.

I suppose Ned’s healing was also helping, but between an unknown efficiency factor in what I was doing, and an unknown ratio of human to dwarf healing, I had no idea how much was me, and how much was Ned. It didn’t really matter in the end.

With an open mouth and glassy eyes, Glifir patted his chest.

“I’m… alive. I’m alive. I’m alive!” Glifir shouted, without a care in the world for who or what could hear us.

“Yeah, you’re alive!” I cheerfully told him. Wasn’t the first time I’d handled someone being slightly off after I’d yanked them away from certain death.

[*Ding!* [Oath of Elaine to Lyra] leveled up! 300 -> 301]

Being a healer was awesome!

“This had to be made by someone with skills.” Fik said, and I half-jumped, having completely missed him moving up closer. “See, look, the whole thing’s made out of stone. There’s no way to get tension in it, not without there being a skill involved.”

I looked at the trap, but “How to build traps while stuck a mile underground” hadn’t been one of my Ranger Academy courses. I was inclined to believe Fik, it wasn’t like he constantly made bold claims out of nowhere.

“Whatever took Toke is smart.” Drin said, to Ned’s eyeroll.

“A goblin could’ve made that trap. It’s not exactly elaborate.” Ned crossed his arms as he told us.

“Footprints are too big to be goblins though.” Glifir pointed out.

[*Ding!* [Learning] leveled up! 340 -> 341]

I had no idea where these levels were coming from, but I wasn’t going to complain or look too hard at it. Maybe I was on the edge for some of them?

“All this talk is great, but we should keep going. Glifir, how are you on spotting traps?” I asked him.

An awkward look passed his face.

“Umm. I can make traps no problem. I’ve never needed to spot them though. I should be fine though.” Glifir said, awkwardly scratching his head.

I gave it a moment’s thought, then shook my head.

“I should be in the lead. As long as I have mana, I’m hard to kill. When we get to an intersection or something, you tell us where to go. That should give you a bit more time to scout the side passages, and make sure nothing’s sneaking up on us.”

“But I can’t let you take the lead!” Glifir protested.

Ooooh, that got my hackles right up.

“Can’t? Can’t!?” I yelled at him, channeling some of my “Drill Sergeant Sentinel with Ranger Trainees” experience. “Which way?” I demanded, fire and venom in my voice.

‘Can’t let me’ my ass.

Glifir exchanged looks with Drin, but said nothing. I narrowed my eyes, and stomped off in the direction we had been going, leaving the rest of the dwarves to catch up.

I spent a moment reflecting on the axe that had nearly chopped Glifir in half. My strength wasn’t exactly my strong suit, and I needed to be able to deal with weapons embedded that deeply in other people.

Or did I?

My train of thought was interrupted as I reached the next branching intersection, where I stopped and waited. I wasn’t entirely enraged to the point where I’d do terminally stupid stuff, like randomly pick paths when I couldn’t follow the trail.

“Which way?” I demanded of Glifir when he caught up with the rest of the dwarves.

He quickly looked down both paths, checking arcane stuff that only a [Tracker] could see, before pointing down one.

“This one but-”

I ignored him as I swept by, making sure there was enough of a lead between me and the remaining dwarves, just in case there was a problem.

I went back to reflecting on my axe problem. On one hand, I had basically nothing for massive weapons embedded into people. On the other, that was a fairly niche problem, given that people with oversized weapons replacing their respiratory tract tended to have short lifespans.

Two hallways later, my musings were interrupted by coarse webs firing out of the walls, fired too fast for me to react without [Bullet Time].

Which never activated, given that the trap was entirely non-lethal. It just wrapped me up in sticky webbing, and hoisted me feet-first into the air.

The rest of the dwarves turned the corner, and Glifir rushed over, concerned, while Fik and Drin lost their shit laughing at me. Ned just smirked.

I grinned back, as the blood rushed to my head.

“Mind giving me a hand here? I’m a little tied up.” I said, punny inspiration striking.

Fik groaned and mocked an arrow striking him, while Drin teased back.

“I should add spider webbing to my arsenal, for when zapping uppity healers doesn’t work.”

I stuck my tongue out at him as Glifir cut me down, carefully making sure I didn’t hit my head on the way down. The spider webbing idea of Drin’s was a good one though.

I probably could’ve burned the spiderweb away, but why spend the mana? I was using lots in rapid succession, and I was already ravenous. No need to blow mana needlessly, not when I had a team to do the same for me.

I stood back up, picking off the strands of spider silk and trying to shake them off my hands as each one was a persistent bastard, who refused to leave.

Glifir and Fik gave me a hand.

“You know.” I said conversationally. “This probably means we can add spiders to the list of creatures down here.”

Fik looked at the strand he had in his hands, and furiously wiped them on the side of the shaft.

He didn’t help too much with the rest of the clean up.

The next blasted hallway had a sharp rock on a stick swing at me like a club. [Bullet Time] activated, and I threw up [Mantle]as I danced backwards. [Mantle] managed to hold the trap for a second before breaking - but that was more than enough time. I was long gone, and grinned as the trap vibrated in an impotent manner.

I couldn’t resist sticking my tongue out at it before the rest of the dwarves caught up and managed to see it. I had this trap thing down!

I hadn’t seen enough traps to fully flesh out the theory, but there was a chance that they were hunting traps. The axe trap had been kinda overkill, but other two traps seemed to be sized-up versions of game and hunting traps I had some basic knowledge of. Food wasn’t exactly dropping from the sky here, and whoever was down here needed to eat.

The halls continued to rumble, with all of us being pressed into the ground twice, and launched into the ceiling once. “Aggravating” didn’t start to cover it, although I was glad it was Hebai’s Gravity attacks that were being obnoxious, and not one of Yurok’s attacks filling the halls with poisoned gas or something.

Up and down, left and right, corkscrews and ramps, we traveled through the mines. If there was an architect, some grand overseer seeing the planning of how the mines were excavated, they were quite mad.

No, more likely that it was just some sort of free for all, with each dwarf having done their own thing.

Three hallways later, and I sprung another trap. [Bullet Time] activated as a hidden stone axe, comically large, sliced towards my neck. I threw up a [Mantle of the Stars] in front of me, starting to grin as it stopped the trap stone cold.

Only to feel the bite of a second axe from behind sink into my neck, slicing through my spinal column, paralyzing and crippling my body. It continued, in slow motion, at high speed, cutting through my carotid arteries, my windpipe, and the rest of my neck, as I desperately tried to heal and reattach my head to the rest of my body. I wanted to frantically claw at it, to scream the fear out. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t scream. I could only be aware of the steadily slicing axe killing me. I was crippled, and my vocal cords had been cut in half.

The axe was too large, and continued to interfere, even as my new enhancement from classing up and improving [Dance with the Heavens] to get rid of foreign objects started to chew through the material.

Then I was flying, up towards the ceiling, spinning in such a way that I could see a headless body, dressed in a mismatch of Sentinel gear, collapse to the ground, blood spurting out in great gouts as my heart continued to pump, having never gotten the message that the head was gone.

My healing kicked in, and with a shudder and a tiny pop, I regrew my entire body in a single go. There was no slow, gradual regrowing, just matter instantaneously being recreated. A small shiver went through me, as hundreds of thousands of nerves reconnected in a single moment, flooding my mind with foreign, yet familiar, sensations.

Physics got slightly confused at this, as my head was going in one direction, then suddenly a bunch of extra mass was added on, but contrived to cause as much annoyance as possible. I slammed into the ceiling, cracking my head against the hard stone, then fell back to the floor with an ungainly splat.

I mentally cursed as my face landed in blood, and the rest of my body crashed into the hard, unyielding stone. My old body continued to exsanguinate, baptizing the new one in hot spurts of life’s most vital substance. Being on my stomach was super uncomfortable, and I rolled over, getting blood in my hair, panting as I stared at the ceiling.

That had been way too close.

[*Ding!* Congratulations! [The Dawn Sentinel] has leveled up to level 355->357! +3 Dexterity, +24 Speed, +24 Vitality, +170 Mana, +170 Mana Regen, +48 Magic power, +48 Magic Control from your Class per level! +1 Free Stat for being Human per level! +1 Mana, +1 Mana Regen from your Element per level!]

[*Ding!* [Celestial Affinity] leveled up! 355 -> 357]

[*Ding!* [Center of the Universe] leveled up! 355 -> 357]

[*Ding!* [Dance with the Heavens] leveled up! 355 -> 357]

[*Ding!* [Sentinel's Superiority] leveled up! 355 -> 357]

[*Ding!* [Long-Range Identify] leveled up! 355 -> 357]

I checked my mana, only to see I still had tens of thousands of points left, having burned through some 80k points of mana for that particular stunt. I could totally improve that with a better image, and getting a good image back into my [Persistent Casting] was now high on my to-do list.

Also.

I’d survived being decapitated!

Down in the rapidly expanding pool of blood, I couldn’t help myself. I lifted my hands above my head, deeper into the pool, and yelled.

“I did it! I survived a beheading! Headless Elaine - total victory! Woohooooooooo!” I howled my victory into the air, down the hallways as loudly as I could, kicking my feet in excitement.

As long as I had mana, I was going to be super hard to kill. I already knew that, but now I knew it.

Voices came to me.

“Whoa, whoa, WHOA! That did NOT just happen!” Fik yelled.

“That happened. That really happened. Pinch me, this has got to be the most elaborate dream I’ve ever had. Between the dragon, and the battle, and everything burning down, and now Elaine surviving that? Dream. Only explanation.” Drin muttered to himself, like a man possessed.

I didn’t see who hit him, but I heard the smack.

“Argh! Son of a goat-fucker, that hurt!” Drin cried out. “This is the worst dream ever. I even get hurt in it.”

Another smacking noise.

“I didn’t ask you to keep going!”

“We should check that she’s ok.” Glifir said, which brought the pitter-patter of dwarf feet running on stone to my ears.

“Elaine? Elaine!” The dwarves were calling out, and four concerned faces popped up around me.

I lazily waved a hand above me in confirmation that I could hear them.

“I’m ok. Just need a moment.” I lazily said, continuing to just stare somewhat vacantly at the ceiling.

After a moment I blinked, groaned and rolled over, getting back up, naked as the day I was born. I looked at my old body, and at myself.

“This is going to take a few minutes.” I said, grabbing and dragging my old body back. I started to strip it, feeling more than a little uncomfortable with the process. Not only did it feel like I was robbing the dead, but it was my body. Well most of my body, without the head and all.

Robbing the dead took on strange flavors when it was my own dead body I was robbing. Just. Extra-squick.

I let a cold pragmatism take over, along with a desire not to trapeze along down the cold mines completely naked, as I continued to undress my unmoving body.

Never really knew my back looked like that.

Bonus - all my clothes, gear, everything was now soaked in blood. Yaaaay me.

The dwarves continued to be utterly incredulous in the background. A real peanut gallery.

“Her whole body. One instant.” Ned was muttering to himself, like a man possessed. He wasn’t the only one.

I finished stripping the body and realized I was missing something.

My pendant. The one from mom.

I dropped to my knees, before starting to search through the pool of blood, trying to find it. It had been around my neck, and given my old neck’s current inability to hold anything, it wouldn’t surprise me if it had fallen off.

“Whatcha looking for?” Glifir asked me, peering over my shoulder, poking me a bit as if to check that, yes, I was real and he wasn’t hallucinating.

“A pendant. From my mom. It’s good luck.” I said, smarting up a bit, and making my fingers into rakes, running them through the ever-expanding pool.

A bloody, tear-dropped shape emerged from the pool, and floated over.

“This it?” Fik asked.

I didn’t need to see him to know he was grinning, his great bushy beard split.

I found some running water and gave the stone a quick rinse, my pendant emerging from it.

“Yes!” I said, throwing my arms around him.

Or tried to anyways. I was rudely halted mid-air as Fik jumped back, laughing.

“Now now, none of that. Get clean and clothed first.” He said, pointing at my pile of gear.

I flushed. Yeah, I wouldn’t want to be hugged by the naked bloody mostly-stranger either.

There was something to be said for giving the clothes a quick rinse in one of the water puddles, but we were also going to drink from them at some point. Also, we’d spent enough time here. There was enough urgency to finding Toke that said “don’t spend 15 minutes washing clothes.” I did quickly dip and wring them, to get the worst of it out.

Although, waiting 15 minutes would get me enough mana to survive a second decapitation. I was starting to become a real powerhouse - while I had mana.

I started to put on the blood-soaked clothes, wincing as the freezing-cold blood was pressed against my flesh. I had regrets about rinsing them quickly.

Tunic: 8/10.

Tunic drenched in cold blood: 1/10.

It didn’t even get me a [Pretty] level!

Still, as I finished getting my clothes and armor back on, I couldn’t help but think:

This totally gave new meaning to “Axe body spray.”

[Name: Elaine]

[Race: Human]

[Age: 19]

[Mana: 32584/242710]

[Mana Regen: 219805 (+155334.4)]

Stats

[Free   Stats: 103]

[Strength:   273]

[Dexterity:   503]

[Vitality:   3424]

[Speed:   3424]

[Mana:   24271]

[Mana   Regeneration: 24271 (+15533.44)]

[Magic   Power: 10081 (+151719.05)]

[Magic   Control: 10081 (+151719.05)]

[Class 1: [The Dawn Sentinel - Celestial: Lv   357]]

[Celestial   Affinity: 357]

[Cosmic   Presence: 269]

[Solar   Infusion: 140]

[Center   of the Universe: 357]

[Dance   with the Heavens: 357]

[Wheel   of Sun and Moon: 311]

[Mantle   of the Stars: 315]

[Sunrise:   128]

[Class 2: [Ranger-Mage - Radiance: Lv 256]+]

[Radiance   Affinity: 256]

[Radiance   Resistance: 256]

[Radiance   Conjuration: 256]

[Shine:   189]

[Sun-Kissed:   256]

[Blaze:   256]

[Talaria:   256]

[Nova:   256]

[Class 3: Locked]

General Skills

[Long-Range   Identify: 357]

[Pristine   Memories: 205]

[Pretty:   154]

[Bullet   Time: 269]

[Oath   of Elaine to Lyra: 301]

[Sentinel's   Superiority: 357]

[Persistent   Casting: 255]

[Learning:   341]

Comments

SelkieMyth

This is for you readers, no spoilers

Anonymous

Illea would be proud

Anonymous

Woah Elaine, try not to get a-head of yourself.

Viria

Yup, totally channeling her inner Ilea in that chapter.

Anonymous

That was heads above the rest in the bad pun territory.

luda305

Holy fuck. There was a lot of cursing reading this.

Jachin Nelson

How all she needs is a bigger and bigger mana pool, then more and more regen than she's good Also i think her third class or at least a future skill needs to be something that summons armor now. Metal or Mantel. Ash of course and other such so she can take better advantage of this

Anthony P.

Man... you think when she debriefs with the sentinels someone is gonna lose money? It’d be something they’d bet on, and you can’t exactly test it. All sorts of bets on what she’d survive are gonna be a moot point now though.

Ryan Naquin

Ned is finally seeing how outclassed he is.

Anonymous

Funnily enough I was having this exact conversation with my partner yesterday would the head grow a new body or the body grow a new head? Guess that answered that question

Alec

Food issue has been solved

Anthony P.

Goodness, the Royal Road folks are going to lose their head when they read this. They’ll blow their top. Lose their mind. It’ll absolutely make their heads spin. Ahhhhh. Sweet relief.

Michael

Damn, this one had me laughing so hard 🤣

william wallace

Ive been going the other direction when thinking about her 3rd class. Some sort of Zerg-rush summoning class.

D

She didnt mention the best part of getting beheaded! Now she has lost all the grim and stink of the last 2 month in her gear. Well, she gets a bit dirty again through her gear, but that should account for something, right?! x)

DayWalker

And that's where the immortal title came from (imagine her at later lvl)... Thanks for the chapter 🙏

evyatar

well, if she wants to level up she just needs to drug herself with pain relievers and decapitate herself, giving food for the poor, let elaine generate some meat, oh you prefer beef? let me gut this cow real quick

Lictor Magnus

That axe body spray line is a dad joke war crime.

Flying Goat

Elaine's head was [Shining] through all of this, right?

joss sim

The way healers go through trapped hallways, I swear... be it Arcane Ash or Celestial Radiance, mad women, all of them...

Anonymous

Ilea getting her head cut off the first time: has a mental breakdown. Elaine getting her head cut off for the first time: wild cheering and excitement

Anonymous

Would work, if it were not for her vow which also prevents intentional harming herself

evyatar

Hey i just had a thought! Next time she does that she should keep herself clean and not get bloody, a good shower and bath replacement that. Growing a new, clean body, she should do it every day, good for one’s hygiene! Only today, maybe the other dwarfs would ask that as well? No? No buyers?

Anonymous

Only problem is that, when you've gone long enough without a bath/shower to start feeling that nasty, your hair is often the worst part. She doesn't seem to get the choice to regen from her body, but I guess she could just scalp herself or something(if it weren't for her Oath). Then again, I don't think she can actually regrow her own hair, I seem to remember her needing to go to her beautician for that at some point.

Anonymous

Looking forward to another apirl fools meet up with ilea now.

Weebhunter452

Ilea would have stuck the landing with ashen copies in the background holdin up 10/10

Anonymous

Trapeze? Or traipse? Great chapter!

Benjamin Smith

That experience siphoning from other people taking her oath seems to be kicking in now.

luda305

Well, at least she didn't hit on her own ass. That would be narcissistic necrophilia. I think.

Melting Sky

I'm dying to see if one of the Dwarve's comments on it. I think Ned is the only one who is rude enough to go there.

Potation

Shouldn't she invest in mana regen at least? Seems like being this low, she needs it all

Håvard

It takes her an hour to regen it all so in this situation not really.

Håvard

Looks like meats back on the menu dwarfs.

Anonymous

If Elaine doesn't heal herself for a few years her body is gonna start disintegrating

Adurna

Oh yeah! I had forgotten that little detail. That is so cool. So if they decide to eat conjured meat, would it supply less mana than it cost to make? (Let's just ignore the creepiness of the scenario)

Anonymous

It seems to me like a lot of Elaine's biggest weaknesses would be solved/mitigated by her taking a physical class third or even resetting her second class (or just taking an upgrade that leans more to the physical side). She would be less weak to skills that shut off Mana regen (or situations that require her to constantly burn her Mana), strong enough to handle mundane situations that other people have to handle for her, and a much higher vitality would probably mean she spends less Mana on healing herself and the Mana she does spend goes farther. Not to mention it improving her perception and apparently speed of thought. She also already has the training to fight physically, just not the stats. She also doesn't seem to be getting the full benefit of her second class often at all. Pretty much only using Radiance Conjuration and Nova most of the time, she never seems to have sunlight to recharge with or walk on when she really needs it. And radiance resistance does what? Keeps her from getting skin cancer she would heal without even noticing? Not a criticism, and not really related to the chapter, just something I've been noticing since her last class up.

SelkieMyth

No, valid questions! So! Radiance Resistence stops Elaine from burning herself to pieces when she's casting. Going down a physical route would make Elaine a fighter-healer, and while it's legit, she'd be weaker than everyone else physical at her level, without the secondary bag of tricks that a spell-sword has. In a fight, sure, she'd be able to heal a bunch - but she'd be constantly beaten back, and constantly needing to heal, instead of being able to trade well, because her focus is split. Now, a spell-sword mitigates that by having a bunch of tricks. Hunting can use magic against anyone trying to get in close and voomp something critical, then beat the crap out of them once he, say, severed an arm, and can try to get up close and physical against a mage, which is how mages are usually beaten. He's weaker than either in their domain, but can use both tricks to make up for it. "Unkillable cockroach" isn't quite good enough of a trick IMO. Also, something to keep in mind right now - Elaine's Ranger-Mage is only level 256, and she's running with a bunch of mid-300's to low-400's right now. She's looking for a spot to upgrade, and when she does, she'll be more up to par. Keep in mind that her skills are also capped out, and skill levels do matter a bit

Anonymous

Gore wise, this chapter wasn't really all that bad, to be honest. I don't think you need to add the warning up there. Sure, a character gets dismembered, but the way it's written, it's low impact and low consequence. More importantly, the warning spoils that somebody is going to get severely hurt in the chapter. It's the more gritty visceral stuff that I think needs the warnings, you know? Lule's demise was far worse than the stuff in this chapter. This is more like that monty python black knight skit ("Tis only a flesh wound!").

Yoshiii311

Admit it, this whole chapter came as an idea to fit that pun in.

SelkieMyth

other way around. Blame my beta readers for the pun. The rest was written without it

Alex Rahr

You know, messing with gravity like this would 1) mess up all the traps and 2) probably collapse the tunnels entirely. I know, 'and then she was permanently crushed into raspberry jam.' wouldn't be the way you want to end this story, but maybe tone down the gravity shenanigans a little?

Anonymous

While funny as hell (and my face is splite ridght down the middle by a huge grin, I’d probably reccommend AXEing that last line for the book release xD

bob barker

look at all of that meat. They could have a feast.

Charles

One step closer to Ilea's power level, next time they get summoned she will be able to say "I can do what you can do"

Drake_Azathoth

Ironically, since they are either different species or same person it'd be pretty safe from a medical perspective. Plus, if it wasn't she could cure them.