Reverend Rizzsanity: 37 (Patreon)

Title: Bitch, Be COOL!

“There,” Lo Jik whispers, tucking Mo Yan into her bed as she resists with a pout. “I can still fight! I’m already healed!”

“You got your arm cut off against Bai Ning Bing,” Lo Jik rolls his eyes. “It took hours for Old Bat Yao Ji to get on your case and heal you. Rest,” he whispers. “For me.”

Mo Yan opens her mouth to say something before wisely closing it shut as she closes her eyes, enjoying Lo Jik pecking her forehead. “You had me worried.”

“Mmh,” she mewls. “That Bitch got stronger than last time.”

Lo Jik doesn’t comment about Bai Ning Bing. He IS a little frustrated that someone hurt Mo Yan. Be it his companionship with the woman or sincere affection often reciprocated in kind, Lo Jik does not want Mo Yan to get injured. It’s not for the constant stream of Bronze-tier rewards but the nature of offering kindness when convenient. Why will Lo Jik ever opt to hurt someone when he can get things done with another method? Conversely, why will he waste time playing friends with someone Lo Jik knows he will never be with again?

“I’m going out to complete my daily quota. You have a good rest, alright?” Lo Jik smiles and leaves.

“Be careful!” Mo Yan’s shout echoes through the door as Lo Jik snickers. Look at him! A married man. Who would have thought?

His smile fades as he leaves the grove. It’s been four days since he summoned the Golden Rewards. One increased his aptitude, and the other gave him several hundred Blood Recipes, hints, fusion ideas, and a deep insight into the Blood Path. Blood Path is hailed as one of the most popular ‘Offense’ paths—like Strength Gu. However, it’s a veil to hide its immeasurable value as a support path. The only Rank 6 Immortal recipe in his memory, the Blood Skull Gu, is a heaven-defying Gu capable of improving one’s Aptitude!

It’s so rare and valuable that it breaks the norms of the Blood Path Gu regarding the convenience of available refinement materials. He cannot even refine the Rank 1 Variant yet.

‘Rewards from Shen Cui all seem geared towards Aptitude and Aperture. After all, she is a mortal. An Aperture is her greatest wish, and her husband is the village’s talent. I shouldn’t skim out on her other Silver Rewards. I might still get the Heavenly Essence Treasure Lotus Recipe.’

‘Even if the Blood Skull is hard to refine, the same isn’t the case for the other Blood Path Gu, like the Blood Claw Gu.’

He sighs. Even though he has so many options, it all boils down to time. He wishes he was a heavenly talent in refinement. However, his odds of refining the Gu are only slightly better than others. This body may adapt and learn things quickly, but it will need years, if not decades, to possess the required finesse.

‘No matter how many options I have, I can only take one step at a time. I will reduce my time in the Wilds and complete missions from Shen Cui before preparing for my advancement to Rank 3. I already have several Gu Worms planned to assemble my set. It all depends on luck now.’

He leaves the village. Like usual, he sets a few traps before resting atop a tree and using his bow first thing in the morning to warm up.

“Hmm?” she stops pouring spring water from her gourd and sits attentively. Her back straightens when she hears the wolf’s howl. “Another team surrounded by wolves?” She yawns. “Let’s see if anything is interesting like that Xiong Clansmen’s Plunder Gu.”

Her body moves like a petal guided by a soft breeze. She skips from one tree to another, jumping and hanging from a few like a monkey before somersaulting to the next one. Her silky white hair flips around, entangling.

“Hup!” she exhales, crouching on a branch from another small hill, watching a brown-haired teen use a bow and arrows against the wolves while a ring of flames surrounded him.

‘A bow?’ Bai Ning Bing blinks owlishly. ‘And he’s good, too. Why have I never heard of him? That’s not a Gu. I don’t sense any aura— he pierced wolves’ eyes five times in a row now!’ She leans forward, watching the boy eventually run out of the arrows. She doesn’t move to help. Bai Ning Bing’s mood slightly dims when she realizes the entertainment was short-lived.

*Crack*

She stills, watching in amazement as the youth picks the nearest corpse before charging into the battle and using the dead body as a makeshift club, taking a life with every attack! As the corpse in his hand breaks and mangles beyond recognition—he picks another! The Wolves eventually escape with pitiful yelps.

‘Snrrk!’ She grins, almost cackling. ‘That was funny!’ Her eyes quiver with excitement. She sees more than a show.

‘That boy dodged all the attacks and fended off a wolf pack without a single hit! Is he that newbie Fang Zheng?’

Bai Ning Bing jumps down, approaching the youth with a curious expression. The woman does not hide her presence as the boy notices her. He seems sizeable up close, at least bigger than several Xiong Clansmen.

The youth stops collecting the materials and quietly stares at her.

“You,” Bai Ning Bing grins toothily. “Who are you?”

Lo Jik nods, “The good question is, what am I.”

Bai Ning Bing blinks. “What are you?”

“The person’s teammate standing behind you,” grins Lo Jik.

Bai Ning Bing hurriedly looks back, finding nothing. Her expression instantly falls when she turns to face the man, only to see him nowhere!

“Fuck!” she curses with those perfect, pink lips of hers as she snaps her head around, looking for Lo Jik.

‘Can’t believe that worked,’ Lo Jik snorts in amusement, still standing in the same spot without moving an inch.

Oh. Lo Jik has fucked enough ‘crazy’ to know that Bai Ning Bing may as well wear a crown and proclaim herself the queen of them all! But craziness with high individual prowess is a dangerous fusion he wishes to avoid.

He could possibly take her on—but why should he?

If Bai Ning Bing is so battle-hungry, she should go fight Thousand-Beast Kings.

‘Mo Yan’s descriptions were not enough to convey how crazy this woman is,’ Lo Jik blinks as Bai Ning Bing suddenly stops. She stares right at the spot where he is. Or in her eyes, where he disappeared from.

“Hehehehe!” she cackles creepily. “You almost got me—hughkh!”

‘And if you can’t avoid them, beat them,’ Lo Jik’s fist smashes into the chuckling Bai Ning Bing’s face. It would be a sin to ruin such a peerless beauty’s face in his previous world. But here?

Fuck social niceties.

Blood drips from his clenched fist as his skin breaks open. However, the flesh and bones underneath are intact!

Pink Muscles; Tough Bones!

Unlike Pink Muscles, Tough Bones is an expendable Gu. Calling that Gu a painful procedure would be an understatement.

However, he survived.

Lo Jik snorts as he observes her coldly lying body from the distance. He doesn’t move, coldly watching Bai Ning Bing.

“Are you waiting for me to walk over and touch you?” Lo Jik questions curiously. “Your toes are curled, you know. You’re not fooling anyone.”

“Ahh! Got caught!” Bai Ning Bing sits up. There’s only a slight swelling near her nose, as she looks mostly alright. “I was using my healing Gu,” she complains. “So?” She prompts. “What’s your name?”

Lo Jik thins his lips before questioning, “Introduce yourself first.”

Bai Ning Bing’s gaze brightens.

“I’m Bai—”

“I know who you are. And I don’t care.”

“Why the fuck did you ask me for an introduction then?!” Bai Ning Bing snaps, yelling.

“Why do you attack others?” Lo Jik questions.

“Because I’m bored.”

“So was I.”

Bai Ning Bing grows silent. She quietly observes his deep-brown eyes. The woman notes a familiar amusement in his gaze. However, it only hides a profound indifference. He is simply good at hiding it.

“I’m Mo Yan’s husband.”

His gaze brightens as if that expression was an illusion, and he politely smiles. “Gu Yue Lo Jik, pleased to meet you.”

Bai Ning Bing slowly stands and starts walking around him. She’s 30 steps away. However, she gets as close as 15 steps while crouching and looking at Lo Jik from various angles. “How did you do it?” She questions while seemingly inspecting him for something.

“Do what?”

“Exist. How do you exist with that woman? Does she not bore you?” Bai Ning Bing inquires. “Do you think it’s possible to exist with boring people?”

Lo Jik turns silent. He recalls the early morning and his interaction with Mo Yan. Knowing himself, Lo Jik knows his Trait is the primary reason he married her. However—

“We all have our moments,” Lo Jik smiles flatly. “It’s stupid to decide if someone is boring by a few interactions. For instance, you. Hearing about your stupid chatter about finding excitement and life and death and seeing it up close is boring.”

Bai Ning Bing stops behind Lo Jik.

“What?” she questions icily.

Yes, he struck a nerve.

Lo Jik turns his head slightly back to look at her. Condescension seeps into his features.

“I said you’re Boring. All this childish act bores me, girl. You’d be somewhat interesting if you had the balls to face your issues aside from droning about life and death.” He smirks. “Guess what? You will make an insomniac sleep in five minutes.”

Her eyes widen. Her black pupils transition to icy blue hues as she attacks!

*Ting*

Sharp icicles slam and shatter against a white light around Lo Jik’s body.

“See? Only a boring person will eventually focus on the nonsense of finding excitement and ‘color’ in life and death. I bet you think others are boring. What about you? What’s the most productive thing about you after your cultivation?”

He laughs and weaves past her ice katana.

Everyone has a hobby.

Lo Jik’s hobby is to poke someone’s issue and verbally abuse them to the extent they either sleep with him or their fathers. The result has been in his favor by 88%!

“Ooh, almost got me—something nobody ever said about you. Hah, dumb bitch!”

Lo Jik casually sidesteps and smashes her sword with a left hook. He slaps the Icicle trailed for his eyes, shattering them with great strength. He has the strength of two boars and a tiger! Bai Ning Bing’s Ice Sword may be slightly threatening—only if he stops and lets her hack at him several times!

“A boring bitch would make the match more exciting by using Rank 1 Gu. Why don’t you? Don’t you want to see colors? Go on, stop using your Gu altogether, and jump off a fucking cliff! Hahahaha!”

“Shut up!” Bai Ning Bing hisses. Nobody has ever spoken to her like that. Others cursed her, yes.

But nobody ‘opened’ her like this!

“Aw, did I hurt your feelings?” Lo Jik snickers. “Bite me, you crazy bitch. See? I played with you. But you’re boring!”

Lo Jik jumps off a nearby cliff as feathers sprout from his bamboo boots. His fall stops. ‘Standing’ midair, Lo Jik glances at the seething Bai Ning Bing, who forms dozens of icicles.

“Don’t be so dull the next time we meet, girl. Read and maybe eat different food. We’ll have some stuff to talk about while you try and kill me. That should make you less boring. Oh, and drop the clown act.” Lo Jik jogs down the invisible ‘stairs,’ laughing. “Death terrifies many. No need to act cool about it.”

He disappears into a different section of the forest as Bai Ning Bing quietly touches the mark on her face before growling. Icy mist oozes from her pores as she barely controls her cultivation from slipping through its suppression.

She returns to the spot where she met Gu Yue Lo Jik. Her eyes widen when she sees something written on the ground beside his Bow and an empty quiver.

—Bitch, Be Cool—

“Pfft!” Her anger fizzles away as she falls to the ground, indifferent to mud and blood catching up on her robes and hair. “Hahahahahahaha!”

Her clear laughter jingles and echoes on this side of the mountain.

“—Hahaha!”

Lo Jik wipes a bead of sweat from his forehead as he hears the echoes of her melodic laughter.

‘I’d be minced meat if not for the Lotus Gu supplying me with Rank 3 essence to activate my Feathered Boots Gu. What’s with her? Almost all her Icicles predicted my moves, and her swordplay was threatening, too. I could use the Moonglow to counter it. However, it would force me to activate my Battle Instincts Gu.’

He looks at his fists.

‘To think I’ll encounter Bai Ning Bing… sheesh.’

<<<>>>

“Hmm? Do you like that?” Lo Jik whispers into Shen Cui’s ear as she presses her thighs together, letting her master drive his hot rod between her cushy legs. His veiny shaft rubs prods open her entrance and rubs her poking clit. His warm and rough hands slide into her clothes and pinch her nipples as she bites her moan. Her robe is half-open, revealing a generous swathe of her fair skin and luscious body.

“M-Master,” Shen Cui mewls. “It feels good. Everything you do makes me feel good~!”

‘Because it’s the honeymoon phase, sweetheart. I’ll have to put in more effort for half the results after a month or two.’

It’s also the best time to complete his remaining objectives.

She exhales when she feels Lo Jik cumming against the fleshy cage of her thighs. His generous rewards mix with her juices sliding down her thighs as Shen Cui knowingly scoops a portion of it with her fingers before sucking them with a lurid expression. She makes a show out of it by slightly opening her mouth and letting Lo Jik see how her tongue dexterously sucks her index and middle finger.

“Good girl,” Lo Jik smirks, patting her head as the girl climbs into his embrace with a happy smile.

“That I am, Master. I’m your good girl. But…”

She frowns.

“Is he pestering you?” Lo Jik smirks.

“Well,” Shen Cui gulps slightly, unwilling to say anything wrong and offend Lo Jik. “He is my husband.”

“He is, isn’t he?” Lo Jik strokes her hair while they lie on the mattress. His other hand slides his fingers inside her moist snatch. Shen Cui stiffens before relaxing in his embrace. “And what will you do?” He whispers.

“I will find ways to deny him,” Shen Cui blushes.

Lo Jik’s game is simple. He will continue making Shen Cui take risks while completing the Silver Missions. His goal is to get all the Silver Achievements or stop with the fusion recipe of Heavenly Essence Treasure Lotus.

Case in point, Lo Jik eagerly climbs atop her and pushes his erect cock between her perky ass cheeks. He firmly grips her butt before moving between it!

Of course, he will stop if things become more bothersome.

Eventually, Shen Cui sleeping with Fang Zheng will be a needed excuse to detach himself from the girl. He wouldn’t bluntly break her heart but gaslight her into believing there was no other option. It’s to keep her from revealing their affair and making Fang Zheng go bat-shit crazy. So, he wants to get the Silver Achievements for boobjob and handjob before things go south.

Only footjob will remain—Lo Jik’s accursed topic!

<<<>>>

“I’m back,” Lo Jik beams at Mo Yan and hugs her. She sniffs for a moment before snorting and poking his forehead. “That’s why you were late? That slut of ours?”

“Shen Cui? No. I did encounter Bai Ning Bing and angered her before running away. She knows I’m your husband. I would temporarily refrain from leaving the village if I were you.”

He kisses her lips before walking past her.

“Ahh~! I’m tired.” He stretches his limbs. “What should we eat tonight?”

“You encountered Bai Ning Bing?!” Her shocked voice echoes in their house as Lo Jik tilts his head, emphasizing, “AND pissed her off.”

Mo Yan forgets Shen Cui as she questions everything about the encounter. Lo Jik keeps a few things secret but answers the rest. Mo Yan also wisely refrains from questions like—‘How did you escape?’ They shouldn’t share such knowledge even if they are spouses.

<<<>>>

Mo Yan does not spread the news of Bai Ning Bing’s encounter with Lo Jik. More than aware of Bai Ning Bing’s eccentric nature, she wisely stayed inside the Village. Also, why would Mo Yan put her husband in a tough spot? He must have some trump cards to escape Bai Ning Bing. Everyone possesses some secrets. However, it’s Bai Ning Bing who started hunting Gu Yue Clansmen, grievously injuring them before questioning her victims about Gu Yue Lo Jik.

Such an event shocked others. Outraged, a Gu Yue Elder searched for Bai Ning Bing, demanding an explanation.

She soundly defeated the Elder before cutting his hand, prompting him to cough up anything he knew about Gu Yue Lo Jik.

“Did he look Bai Ning Bing the wrong way?”

“She’s too much! Does she not care about the alliance?”

“Others don’t want to find trouble with her during the Wolf Tide. Lo Jik is to blame! What did he do to her?”

“Rumors say that Bai Ning Bing suffered greatly. She wanted him after a mere glance, but Lo Jik left her to the wolves.”

“Lo Jik is already married!”

“Who cares? He’s afraid!” A Gu Master gloats. “He has to pay the daily fine for not meeting the quota!”

“Because he can! He is an Elder’s spouse! Him paying Primeval Stones doesn’t UNFUCK us!”

“Khuk!”

‘Only a foot job remains,’ Lo Jik narrows his eyes. He is unaffected by rumors of Bai Ning Bing’s threat. He stayed inside the village as a ‘coward’ to complete his achievements. He almost did. But Bai Ning Bing’s actions pushed a spotlight atop him, forcing him to stop meeting with Shen Cui.

‘And I was slightly close to getting a foot job, too. Shen Cui does everything I ask. But foot job isn’t a mainstream kink.’

He wisely decides to call it quits. Fang Zheng is also dissatisfied with the current state of his marriage. Shen Cui will have to sleep with him, which becomes my ticket to get out of that relationship… unless she does something crazy.

He glances at the final achievements of Shen Cui. Things are getting dangerous around the village with repeated sights of Frenzy Lightning Wolves, forcing several Elders to push the beasts back from the villages.

Lo Jik doesn’t want to wait any further. But he also has to be wise about it. The timing isn’t right, and he’s in an awkward and ‘stale’ stage.

‘Still, my gains are more than fair,’ Lo Jik narrows his eyes. He can be considered wealthier than several Elders. The Heavenly Essence Treasure Lotus also keeps adding 50 Primeval Stones daily to his storage! He already has 8510 stones. As for Bai Ning Bing? Let the crazy bitch rage. She should forget about him and find someone else more intriguing, right?

He notes his unused Silver Achievements.

[Itty Titty Servant (Silver): Experienced an Orgasm Through Shen Cui’s Breasts. Parties Involved—Host and Shen Cui. Rewards Stored.]

[Hands of Satisfaction (Silver): Experienced an Orgasm Through Shen Cui’s Hands. Parties Involved—Host and Shen Cui. Rewards Stored.]

[A Sloppy Ass (Silver): Experienced an Orgasm Through Shen Cui’s Butt Cheeks. Parties Involved—Host and Shen Cui. Rewards Stored.]

[Grinding Carrot (Silver): Experienced an Orgasm Between Shen Cui’s Thighs. Parties Involved—Host and Shen Cui. Rewards Stored.]

Lo Jik doesn’t waste time and summons the first reward.

Light flashes beside him, revealing a skull-sized brownstone. Its uneven surface and peculiar spots are shaded bright purple, and a faint fragrance fills the space under his blanket.

‘A Poison Mineral Bulb. It’s strangely used to refine rare Rank 4 Grass Gu.’ Lo Jik nods temporarily and keeps the material aside. He would have failed to identify several materials if not for going through the various inheritances he’s already received. But this is the second to last thing he wanted to see.

The worst for him is still a modestly useless Rank 2 Relic Gu.

Another light flashes, and he sees the Rank 2 Relic Gu sit on his lap.

‘Great,’ Lo Jik sighs. He inadvertently thinks of Bai Ning Bing. Could he form a relationship with that crazy bitch before waiting for her to become the Clan Leader and then reap the rewards? After all, Lo Jik will lose his stream of Bronze rewards after advancing to Rank 3. Conversely, Bronze-tier achievements as a Rank 3 Gu Master means moderately rare Rank 3 Gu.

‘But that’s too far of a thing,’ he shakes his head. Who knows how long it will take for Bai Ning Bing to reach Rank 4. She’s also from an Enemy clan and may kill Lo Jik after the deed.

Lo Jik recovers his focus and summons the third reward.

‘Oh?’

He perks up at the sight of a weak Rank 3 Gu.

Now that’s the kind of reward he likes receiving!

This Gu is similar to a dried branch with three prongs. Lo Jik picks up the fist-sized Gu with an amused expression.

‘A Rank 3 Three Tasks at Once Gu? Why would I receive a treasured Gu for Enslavement and Refinement Experts?’ Lo Jik muses. ‘Does Shen Cui have such talents? Or Fang Zheng? That can’t be right. Fang Zheng only has one Rank 3 Gu of his efforts. That’s his Vital Gu. The other two are the Clan Leader and Qing Shu’s gifts.’

‘Still, this Gu is weak. It needs beast turd as fertilizer. I’m glad I have so much of it stored. The Smell Lock Gu is a Rank 2 Gu and would need three years to finish the high-quality Beast King shit.’

He nods. This Gu is great.

A Gu Master can effortlessly divide their attention into three tasks using this Gu! Lo Jik can already divide his attention to accomplish two processes. He also risks injury to refine three Gu at once. The addition of this Gu allows him to focus on five things!

‘I can use the Black Mane and White Jade Gu with this while focusing on the offense. The result becomes better once I activate the Battle Instinct Gu.’

Lo Jik stores the Rank 3 Gu and summons the final reward. He DID have many expectations. However, he’s simmered down. Getting a Rank 3 Heavenly Essence Treasure Lotus is already wild. Shen Cui’s achievements can be considered slightly more beneficial to Lo Jik than Mo Yan’s since Mo Yan’s rewards gave him many hard-to-feed Shadow Gu. It can be said that Shen Cui's mortal status became her most valuable trait!

The light flashes, revealing a short silhouette. Lo Jik watches a beautiful blue tulip descend onto Lo Jik’s lap. It’s a storage item like the Rank 1 Determined Fist Gu—Dangling Kiss Tulip Gu. Lo Jik curbs the excitement in his heart as he gently peels the blue petals. In its center lies a weak Rank 2 Heart Engraved Gu.

Lo Jik’s hands quiver as he activates the Gu. The Heart Engraved Gu turns into a stream of red light and enters his body. Lo Jik closes his eyes, going through the information. His expression turns complicated. It’s not what he wanted, but it’s no less valuable.

Rank 1-5 Polished Gu recipe.

Such a recipe will cause outrage in society, making Lo Jik the number one target for many. Even Gu Yue Bo will attack Lo Jik and extract the information without civility. It’s too precious! The Polished Gu series is more valuable than the Heavenly Essence Treasure Lotus series. However, the recipe needs several rare materials almost at the same level as Silver-tier rewards. Even if the cost is not the problem, what about availability?

Many materials are almost impossible to find!

‘Heh!’ Lo Jik suddenly chuckles. ‘Gosh! How Greedy am I?’ He exhales sharply, letting go of all his frustrations in a breath. He’s earned a LOT! Heck! He doesn’t even find Shen Cui a bother anymore. If she wants to fuck, all she needs to do is tell him the date and location—he’ll also be willing to rock her world in Fang Zheng’s room.

‘Although it is a renowned saying—99% of Gamblers quit moments before making it—I must focus on my cultivation. I have a Three Tasks at Once Gu. I should use it to prepare a few Rank 3 Gu for my advancement. After all, a Rank 3 Gu Master needs a similar Gu to display their total potential.’

***

Alternate Title: Bai Ning Bing’s Terror; Attacked Mo Yan; Healed; Rest; Daily Routine; Encounter; A Curious Monkey; Approaching Interests; The Talent; Beauty?; The Crazy Queen; Oldest Trick in the Book; Lo Jik: Smash; Lo Jik’s Daddy Issue Statistics; 88% is Good Odds; Opening and Humiliating Bai Ning Bing; A Fool’s Bravado; Superior Might?; Evenly Matched?; Bai Bye!; Crazy Laugh!; Be Cool! *Bai Ning Bing About to Freeze Entire Qing Mao Mountain: And I Took That Seriously*; Using Shen Cui; A Distraught Beauty; A Ticket Way Out; Shocked Mo Yan; Bai Ning Bing’s Crusade; A Crazy Person’s Romance; The Cold Hunter; Lost Foot Job; Another Red Steel Relic Gu; An Enslavement Reward; The Precious Recipe Series!; Lo Jik is a Treasure Trove; Thoughts About Blood Path; One Step At a Time!;