Paradise of Infinity: 325 (Patreon)

Title: Seduced

The noise of loud gunfire fills the small field beside Class 3-E’s structure as the children watch with awestruck expressions as Revy burns through magazines of anti-sensei pellets, watching Korosensei blur past around her. Much to Nik’s amusement and intrigue, Revy seems to be getting more… attractive. She’s always been a beautiful woman with a knack for blowing a man’s brain out with her skills. However, Nik can see how a flash of yellow blur leaves her nails trimmed and manicured, even around her trigger finger.

Another yellow blur has Revy’s hair trimmed nicely and combed back into an elaborate French braid. Hmm, even her face seems cleaner.

“Faran-Sensei?” A student speaks up, prompting Nik to question them instead. “Does he always provide a complete package of nail and skin care routine when others try to kill him?”

“Yes,” a girl giggles. “We call it Korosensei’s Maintainance Routine. He’s quite good at it, too. I’m saving my pocket money since Sensei always threads my eyebrows when I try to stab him.”

“I’m sorry,” Nik glances at the class. “You try to stab someone who can, uh, what was it? Travel to and from a continent in a few hours?”

They simultaneously nod as Nik frowns in thought.

“Does he get impatient?” Nik questions. That’s a doubt he’s had for a while.

“Well, there was that one time a few days ago when Nagisa tried blowing himself alongside Korosensei.” One of the boys informs as the blue-haired boy seated not far from the teacher’s podium blushes and lowers his head. “Sensei got super mad. His face was pitch-black and terrifying.”

“Yeah,” a bespectacled girl shivers. “Sensei said he would kill everyone on the planet except us, even our parents.”

Nik glances at Revy. He worries she doesn’t have the money to spend all those bullets, but her life may also be in danger. As if sensing his worries, another girl with long, bleached hair snickers, “Faran-Sensei? Are you and Revy-Sensei going out?”

“You can call me Nik,” He sighs. “Or Nik-Sensei. And no, Revy and I aren’t going out.”

“The target, or Korosensei, as the class calls him,” Tadaomi begins, sitting not far from the podium and observing Nik with a sidelong glance, “is a threat to anyone aside from the children of Class 3-E. However, conversing with him the few times I have, I’ll admit he won’t murder others.”

“Isn’t that reassuring,” Nik scoffs. He glances at Revy again before regathering his focus and letting his gaze rest on everyone.”

“—whoo! Korosensei, give Revy’s favorite guns a maintenance, too!”

Nik ignores the classroom’s recently appointed nurse, who is more than willing to encourage Revy to use more pellets in her automatic rifles. ‘If I’m going to have to pay for it, then Revy best be ready to not walk for a damn week!’

He looks at Tadaomi, questioning, “Why are you here?”

“To observe,” Tadaomi replies. “Sexual Education is a delicate topic. The Art of Seduction has its place in the world of assassination. Still, I won’t tolerate any scandals under my watch.”

Nik nods slowly, redirecting his gaze back to the classroom. “Alright, kids. Are there any tests you have to prepare for? Any homework you’ve yet to complete? Now’s the time to do all that.”

“Eh?” The class blinks as Nik shrugs, sitting on his chair and crossing his legs over the podium. “Seeing the target is a yellow super octopus, I deem this class unfit to seduce the target. There’s no point in teaching you guys all that, right? What are you going to do? Dress up as a female octopus? That’s inappropriate on many levels.”

He exhales and rests his head against his crossed hands.

The classroom descends into silence, except for Ray cheering in a proper nurse’s outfit and Revy getting a free skin-care routine alongside her pistols. Maybe it’s not free, given how she’s burning through the pellets.

“Nik-Sensei?” The only boy with blue hair tied in two pigtails raises his hand. His petite frame and androgynous facial features would fool others into believing he’s a girl. However, Nik can tell him apart at a glance.

“Yes, you are?”

“Nagisa Shiota, Sir. Why do you think Korosensei can’t be seduced?”

“Oh, he CAN be seduced,” Nik glances at the boy who tried blowing himself off alongside the target. “I just don’t think any of you can seduce him.”

“Why?” Another boy questions.

Instead of raining on their parade with snides and crude jokes, Nik keeps it honest, “Because of personal experience. Even if we forget the age difference and the evident fact that he isn’t human, you cannot seduce someone who pities you. It’s too hard of a task. You can use that pity, but you cannot call it seduction.”

“Pity us?” One of the taller and healthier boys from behind frowns.

“And you are?” Nik glances at the boy with spiky brown hair and a blonde undercut.

“Ryoma Teresaka,” he snorts.

“Hmm,” Nik nods. “I may be wrong, but the first impression suggests that class 3-E is a pitiful bunch isolated on top of a mountain, in a shed unfit to be called a school structure, and stuck in a situation where your school’s board of chairman is willing to hire suspicious individuals like Ray, Revy, and I only because he cannot give enough shit about you lot.” He smirks, “And there’s also the fact that the only creature to give a shit about your class happens to be a literal monster. Ain’t that pitiful?”

Nik clearly ruffles some feathers as he earns glare from many students. Chuckling, Nik continues, “To seduce someone is to entice. It’s commonly used to get your preferred target into a bedroom, but seduction isn’t about sexual intercourse alone. As you are, none of you can seduce—hmm. Nagisa? May I call you Nagisa?” The incubus looks at the surprised blue-haired boy.

“Y-Yes,” Nagisa nods.

“You tried blowing yourself alongside Korosensei, right? How did you do that?”

“Well,” the boy blushes again. “Korosensei used to have his guard lowered after lunch breaks, so I used that moment to stab him. The knife was a bait, and I let Terasaka-san detonate the grenade.”

Nik flatly stares at the bulky boy in the back seat before glancing at Nagisa. “That’s good. I wouldn’t call it a seduction attempt, but it was close. You enticed your target into a sense of peace by failing to stab him. Another good example would be me using a hand of sleight to allure the mark into shaking my hand.”

“Wait a minute,” a girl pouts. “That isn’t seduction at all! That’s just normal planning and strategy!”

Nik glances at the brown-eyed girl with similar colored short hair, prompting her to introduce herself. “Ah, Hinata Okano, Sensei.”

Nik nods, suddenly standing and turning to face the blackboard. He picks a nearby chalk, writing seduction and strategy on the board with bold letters.

“You are correct, Hinata,” Nik turns to face the classroom. “Seduction IS a part of strategy. You choose targets, methods of proceeding, a backup plan in case the prey doesn’t see your way, and, of course, the end goal.”

“So, why differentiate it?” Hinata frowns.

Nik shrugs. “A good strategy makes up for any deviance due to a lack of facts by predicting many things through said particulars. Seduction cannot account for everything.”

“So, it’s inferior.”

Nik glances at the bespectacled, dark-haired boy.

“Kotaro Takebeyashi, Sensei,” he introduces himself.

“I’m only taught one thing,” Nik smiles thinly. “If you can’t seduce your target, the problem isn’t in the art, but you. A strategy will see you achieving your goals, but seduction plays with you. The difference lies in its core of enticement. A Strategy may use enticement as one of its aspects, but Seduction is built on it. That’s why I said mine and Nagisa’s attempts weren’t seductions. Of course, I wouldn’t call it inferior, either.”

“Do you have any examples for the kids to understand the difference?” Tadaomi questions.

“I do,” Nik taps on the word ‘Strategy’ penned on the blackboard. “An abused orphan plans his way out of a terrible location. He plans for everything after spending more than a decade in that location. He almost succeeds because of his plan.”

The dark-haired faux teacher then smiles at the class, tapping at the term ‘Seduction.’

“Little did he know, a woman seduced him long before he knew it. They loved each other. When he desired love the most, she enticed him with it. The boy planned well, but the woman seduced better. He never saw that blade driving into his back because that’s what seduction often leads to—trust.”

He grins. “The boy thought—oh, she loves me. She would never betray me. I’m going to leave with her and live happily.” Shaking his head, he concludes. “He was a fool who died a fool.”

Nik chuckles. “That’s the difference between a good strategy and seduction. The latter is often subtle. Chances are, all of you are seduced by something because we all have moments of weakness. It could be love,” a few glances away from Nik. “It could be pride, greed, or anything else. Use that. Make yourself attractive and find Korosensei’s emotional weakness you can manipulate. If you want, find a test dummy. There’s a building filled with children going through puberty and facing different issues in their lives. They are one of the easiest marks you will ever find!”

“What happened to that boy, Sensei?” Nagisa questions.

“Him?” Nik snickers as he takes a seat. “I made it all up. There was never a boy, Nagisa. I hope I’ve given you things to think about. Also, don’t hesitate to ask for my assistance. As Tadaomi says, I’m not here to promote scandals of any kind, so I’ll be more than happy to ensure you don’t ruin another’s life just for ‘practice.’”

“What if they deserve it?” A girl questions innocently. “Ah, I’m Kaede Kayano, Sensei.”

Nik smiles at the light-green-haired girl—the only one beside Revy, Koro, Ray, and the unknown Host to have an impressive reserve. It’s almost like Korosensei, as it’s building up slowly but steadily. However, it’s nowhere in Nik’s own chi reserves.

“Your target should be left in ruins if they deserve it.” He glances past her, his smile slightly fading as he watches the corpse of a trio right beside the girl, smiling back at him with utter kindness in their soulless red eyes. “However, make sure of your facts. Hurting innocents makes you a monster no different than someone who blew the moon.”

Kaede’s hazel eyes flicker as she nods.

“Oh,” Nik suddenly pats his head. “Revy wanted me to tell you she isn’t going to humor you a lot. And since you guys don’t have a shooting range, she will spend her time—” He glances outside, watching Revy run up to Koro with a flexible green combat knife in her hands made from the same material as the anti-sensei pellets.

Others shrug as a girl suddenly snaps, “Nik-Sensei! Tell us about yourself. You’re a foreigner, right? Have you ever seduced someone from outside Japan?”

Nik glances at the group of interested children. He usually won’t mind disclosing his deeds. In fact, he’s proud to bang women like Balalaika. However, he draws his limits against the children—

‘Wait a second. Aren’t Aang and Tom-Tom younger than them?’ Nik blinks in realization as he straightens his back, grinning, “I’ve been with royalties.”

“Liar!”

“Isn’t the Queen super old?”

“You mean the living immortal?”

“I repeat, he’s the chosen one.”

“Do you have any pictures, Nik-Sensei?”

“Do you go Karaoke?”

“Can you teach us that trick you used on Korosensei?”

‘Too many questions,’ Nik sighs, picking one of the questions, “Yep, I like Karaoke.”

---

“Is it my turn?” Nik turns to question as he watches the kids jog around the field. Revy lies beside him on the grass, arms sprawled and thoroughly exhausted. The tall yellow creature with a perpetually toothy grin suddenly has a lounge chair in his hands, which he sets beside Nik. The host would wonder if Korosensei had tricks like their kind if he didn’t know about the latter’s speed.

“Nuhuhuhuhu,” Korosensei snickers in his otherworldly ways. “As co-workers, I want to make you as comfortable as possible.”

“Is that why you refurbished the nurse’s office for Ray?” Nik smirks.

“Of course!” the creature admits, revealing why Nik would call ‘It’ a ‘He.’

“Ray is adorable~!” His yellow face turns pink as Nik rolls his eyes. “Yeah, she is. Again, I’m sorry about this morning.”

“Do you fear me?” Korosensei grins.

“I’d be stupid not to fear you,” Nik smiles. “However, I also have a limited time appointed to bitch about it. I get issues, then I get more issues, making me forget my previous problems.”

“That is true,” Koro sips on a glass of juice. Not to be outdone by the creature, Nik clenches his left hand around a cup of tea.

“Oh! I’m truly interested in your kind.” Korosensei muses. “What are you, an alien?”

“You’re asking that?” Nik scoffs.

“I’m very much a human!” Korosensei snaps, exhaling steam from… somewhere on his round head as he continues, “And your trick yesterday was amazing, too. I never thought a human could release such delicate vibrations.” The creature extends his tentacle hand. “I suspect it’s similar to a bat’s sonar, yes? My skin is sensitive to the minutest change, so I could neutralize the vibration by vibrating my body like this.”

His tentacles let out a high-pitched noise that irritates the sleeping Revy enough to make her frown until Nik pats her head, brushing her hair. “Wow!” Nik blinks. “Her hair is softer, too!”

“Of course!” Korosensei replies smugly.

“So?” Nik questions. “Why are you telling me one of your tricks?”

“Ah, it’s simple,” Korosensei’s voice deepens. Green stripes appear on his face as he looks down upon Nik from a higher position, “It’s to make things interesting. You three are now part of my game. So, try hard, Nik Faran. You’ll have to if you expect to live.”

“Hmm?”

Nik frowns while Revy slowly opens her eyes.

“Did you believe I would allow anyone to enter this game without consequences?” Korosensei’s grin seems to broaden.

[Nut-Cracking-Messiah: Your favorite Korosensei is threatening me. Any idea why?]

“Your kind likes to throw the rules out of the damn window,” Koro continues. “I almost killed your peers in New York a few days ago before they disappeared from the spot.”

[Smexy-succu-succu: Yeah, things changed. I’m a little too scared to come out right away.]

A tentacle taps Nik’s head as Koro whispers, “You’re dead.” The green stripes intensify around his face. “It will be that easy, Nik.”

Revy quietly reaches for her gun as another tentacle puts her pistol on her stomach, “There you go, Revy.”

Koro’s mouth parts open, revealing his once flat teeth as rows of sharp skull crushers as he concludes, “Don’t misunderstand. I’m the prey, and you are the predator. Seduce me if you have to, be the woman who blinded the boy with love if you need to, stab me in the back if that’s what you care about—but make it more interesting for me.”

Nik keeps staring at Korosensei, a little unnerved by the arrogance in the latter’s beady eyes. “Or you can run.”

“Or I can run,” Nik whispers.

“However,” Korosensei leans forward. Unknown to Nik, every student stopped running a while ago as they watched Revy quietly pointing a gun at the octopus’ head. Meanwhile, Korosensei wrapped a tentacle around Nik’s neck. “—if you stay, I will help you with one issue you’re haunted by. I’m good at what I do, Nik.”

The green stripes fade from his face, and all that remains is a sincere grin. “I can smell a man’s weakness. I can help you.”

“If I don’t run away,” Nik affirms. “You’re good.” The incubus admits. “You were once a human. I get it now. I’m the predator, and you’re the prey. You are not treating us as co-workers at all. And I don’t need someone from the classroom to know those green stripes mean you’re looking down on us.”

Koro reclines on his chair, letting go of Nik. “Nyuhuhu! What can I say? I tend to look down on things even if they’re new and exciting!”

Nik stares at his supposed target before lying back on the grass, relieving Revy’s tension.

A familiar, seductive, yet powerful voice fills his senses.

—“If your customers aren’t satisfied, you did something wrong. Your method was wrong.”—

‘I never knew a yellow octopus could be so damn attractive.’

It’s as he said, he has issues. He always did.

However, a new problem always finds its way into his lap, making him focus on the future instead.

“You’ve got a stupid grin on your face,” Revy snorts, lying beside him.

“That’s because he just found how effective his class can be,” Koro snickers. “Consider it a repayment of your earlier stunt.”

“You seem reasonable, Koro. I’ll hold you to the end of your bargain.” Nik closes his eyes. His mind still recollects the distasteful memory, but he chooses to trust someone more experienced than him can help. After all, like Koro, Nik can sense issues to seduce someone. Whether he likes to admit it or not, he’s pulled similar crap on the girls he likes, too. For instance, Balalaika.

[Smexy-succu-succu: Man, that’s why some hosts should go through metamaterial before pulling stunts and making missions difficult for us!]

[Nut-Cracking-Messiah: Nah, it’ll be fine. He’s a teacher. That’s one rule he wouldn’t want to break.]

[Smexy-succu-succu: Uh, sorry to rain on your parade, but I already knew that. Remember? I know things. Oh, and be sure to stop by after your meeting. I want your help.]

***

Alternate Title: Revy Stacks The Bill; Revy’s New Skin Care Routine; A Hairdo; The Art of Seduction; A Rocky Beginning; Pity?; Strategy and Seduction; Ends Justify The Means; An Introductory Class; Attraction and Seduction; The Tenets of Seduction; The Curious Class; The Chosen One?; The Story; The Boy’s Dead, He Doesn’t Exist; The Strange Girl; Nik’s Unhinged Advice; The Chatty Classroom; The Change; Ray’s Bubble Bursts; The Intimidation; Oh, Nik Has Some Pictures; A Man’s Curiosity; Koro Can Do Whatever Nik Can Better; The Alien Rizz; Koro The Rizzard; The Seductive Rizz; Manipulative Rizz; Nik Encouraging Children To become Like Aizen; Nik: Everything Was Part of My Seduction Tactic; Revy’s About To Get a Week-Long Break; The Loyal Two Hands; A Sleeping Beauty; A Proposition; Koro Casually Making OG Toph Blind For Real; Koro And His Vibrating Tentacles; Life Is Filled With Issues

***

Nagisa Shiota

Ryoma Terasaka

Kaede Kayano

Kotaro Takebayashi

Hinata Okano