Filthy Gamer in Narutoverse: 251 (Patreon)

Title: Bubbling Sea

Kurenai pouts, protesting for the umpteenth time, “Sensei! We are ready! We can take things just as hard as the rest, and we don’t want you going easy on us!”

Kai blearily nods, not expecting such a farewell from his students as his team glances at him weirdly. One gaze, belonging to a violet-eyed redhead, is peculiarly scorching as her gaze darts between the annoyed Kai and the scandalous team of the trio, who can state their intentions without wording them so poorly.

“I’m not taking you guys on a B-ranked mission until,” Kai sighs, patting Kurenai’s head for once as the red-eyed girl stops her vain attempts to hijack an official mission under everyone’s amused gazes. But the sight of Kai’s hand on her head makes the remaining duo glance at each other.

“Boss,” Konan puckers her lips, a stud pierced through the skin beneath her bottom lip.

“Yeah, yeah.” Kai rolls his eyes, patting Konan and Shizune after Kurenai. But he doesn’t leave without adequate instruction as he specifically constructs a Shadow Clone (one of his wooden clones transforming to its original state from a nearby pebble), “Right!” He claps his hands. “My absence does not mean your vacation. Lord Third won’t assign any missions to you since only a clone will accompany and observe your training unless delegated to another team for the time being. When I return, I want your asses capable of completing medical tests set by Tsunade and Orochimaru.”

The trio nods as Kai smiles warmly at them before nodding at Minato, Kushina, and Kakashi as they flicker away. In the distance, Guy, Obito, and Rin watch with complicated emotions.

“There they go,” Jiraiya smiles while leaning on a roof’s railing.

“Jiraiya-boy,” a scratchy voice questions from his hooded cloak, his body barely tall enough to contend with the height of Jiraiya’s head. “Was that the Dragon?”

“Unless another monicker starting with the term ‘Dragon’ reveals itself,” Jiraiya retorts. “But as I told you earlier, my faith in prophecies is a little—”

“I understand, Jiraiya-boy,” the voice hints with a smile. “It’s about time you learned that prophecies aren’t everything.”

Jiraiya scoffs under his breath. How was he to know that almost all the Toads of Mount Myoboku shared his caution of prophecies until he spoke about them? And here he was, working under the assumption that every toad religiously believed the OId Sage’s words!

‘Good luck, Minato,’ Jiraiya smiles despite a hint of desolation creeping in. ‘Sensei did us a favor by hinting your mission is an off-the-books one aside from the B-ranked one. I did many of those. I hope it’s a pleasant mission.’

Naturally, Hiruzen never revealed the nature of the mission to Tsunade, Orochi, and Jiraiya. But when it comes to his milking fuck buddy and the entrepreneur sex-toy creator—Kai might have refrained from such policies.

---

“You might be wondering—”

“Yes, we are,” Kushina cuts in before letting Kai complete as he tosses her an annoyed glare, barking. “Another moment of insubordination, and I’ll write you up, Kushina. Oh, and I’ll spank your ass redder than your hair under Minato’s and Kakashi’s presence!”

“W-what?”

“Kushina!” Kai eyes her sternly. “It’s not games.” The surrounding greenery is still in the trio’s gazes as Kai crosses his arms, ordering. “And I won’t tolerate any stupidity during the mission’s activity after swearing left and right to let the Third assemble me the Dream Team!”

Kushina bites back her words and nods quietly. Kai’s words effortlessly douse her jubilance about leaving Konoha after such a long period! Kakashi and Minato grow a notch serious since they have only ever seen Kai spoil Kushina.

‘You would let him speak to you like that?’ A rough snarl echoes in Kushina’s mind as the girl snorts inwardly, snapping, ‘Shut it, furball! I ain’t talking with you, Dattebane!’

Kai observes the trio before nodding. “Our mission is to scout the Bubbling Sea. Our intel reports that the patch of sea between the Land of Water and the Land of Whirlpool is bubbling—heating and evaporating—under unknown forces. It doesn’t help that intel reports a few known Iwa Shinobi with their presence in the Bingo Book around the area, scouting on their ships.”

[B-Ranked Quest: Bubble Bath

Summary: Scout the patch of sea evaporating at a stunning pace between Land of Water and Whirlpool. Squash any objective the Iwa Shinobi may have or report it back as soon as possible if you lack adequate force to achieve the goal.

Rewards: 15 SP

Failure: Hiruzen’s Verbal Jabs; Death of One Teammate; The Jinchuriki’s Permanent Confinement]

He exhales, “But that’s not all. There’s a reason why I chose you for this mission—the one I’m about to relay.” The seriousness in Kai’s voice gets them as he extends his index finger. “Kushina, you are the perfect key to enter that location without disputes. Minato, you’re the ‘eager-talented-junior’ who’s easy for redheads, and I think your insight into that location will help me and Konoha. Kakashi, you lack your father’s ‘pizzaz.’ But if there are any disputes along the way, it will help you learn a lot more with experience alone.”

Kushina’s eyes are already bright. Kai refrained from exposing the mission’s nature. Now she gets it!

They are going to—

‘Oh, no.’ Kyubi utters with a rough grunt.

“Our mission only ends after we enter, mingle with, and leave Uzushiogakure alive,” Kai grins broadly. “I hope, for your sakes, those redheaded chipmunks cooled off after such a long time.”

---

The villagers squirm in discomfort. Raiders they might be, but just a three-men cell of experienced Jonin and Chunins raise the palpable fear of death in their hearts under the masked Shinobi’s cold glare.

“Who was it?” The leading shinobi snarls, questioning the men. The oval white porcelain mask muffles the man’s voice as the villagers shudder.

“I-it was me,” a buzz-like quiet voice slips from a youth’s bulky frame as he quivers further under the collection of Kiri Shinobi’s gazes!

“You sailed with Lord Neryu’s son?” The masked shinobi scowls. “Apprehend him.”

“I didn’t kill him!” The youth steps back, barely dodging a chunin’s palm strike to his gut as he falls on his butt in a panic, surprising the sole sensor of the team as he focuses on the youth.

“It wasn’t me! The bees did it! The giant bees and hornets attacked my ship!” he gasps, his words making the four Shinobi pause. “I swear!” the boy sweats with evident fear. “I jumped from the ship. I saw something else in the Bubble Sea! There was a man! I also saw another Ship’s flag when swimming away!”

He shouts at the top of his lungs.

“It was the mark of another Noble Clan! I haven’t seen it before! It was a Turtle’s Shell!”

The four Shinobi frown as the sensor leans on his superior’s shoulder, whispering, “I feel chakra inside the youth. He’s one of the naturals. His reserves are nothing to scoff at either.”

The leader quietly stares at the tanned youth, who wears a mask—of fear.

“Hmph,” the Jonin grunts. “Take him in. We’ll scout the Bubble Sea while evaluating his talents. His talents will help us decide if we should make a deal with the Neryu Clan or toss him to Lord Neryu to let the old man vent his frustration about his son’s loss at the responsible sailor.”

One of the chunins successfully engages the youth, sending him unconscious as another Chunin collects information on the boy.

Kai Fuyuki.

---

Team Kai moves swiftly and precisely. They travel through the Land of Fire to the eastern coast in a matter of days, rarely stopping for breaks or recreation—as much as Kushina wanted to. Kai’s earlier warning manages to keep her in check for now, but Kai knows it’s only a matter of time before Kushina ‘explodes.’ And he will let her. What’s the point of stopping the inevitable—yes, marked with Kushina’s adorableness, her ability to sneak past Kai’s decision is inevitable. But that doesn’t mean he cannot stall and prolong that event for a peaceful journey.

Yet, it’s Minato who bears the brunt of Kushina’s judgmental stare.

“I already know you slept with a redhead,” she eyes him as a cat would snare a mouse. “What are your intentions with my kin, dattebane?!”

Minato almost slips from the next branch as he blushes a storm.

“I- uh, what?”

“We aren’t whores!” Kushina asserts. “Don’t you believe every one of us is easy!”

‘You are easy.’ Kai and Kyubi muse at once. But Kai’s thoughts don’t resound in Kushina’s mind as Kyubi’s do. And Kyubi never imagined herself being so chatty when her vessel isn’t on speaking terms. Kushina scoffs at Kyubi while staring at Kai instinctively, wondering if he thought the same.

It couldn’t be, right? All she did was do it raw for a few days more straight after their first date! That’s all!

Kakashi picks his pace, moving alongside Kai as he questions, “Kai-san, what did you mean from before? Does my training lack in any manner?”

Kai glances at Kakashi, smirking, “There’s one thing about your father I could never copy. His taijutsu, kenjutsu, and even ninjutsu are somewhat basic in my books.” Kakashi bristles at the statement as Kai laughs. “But that man was a straight killer. He fought with the precision of an animal—a zone if you will. I still don’t understand how he achieved that. It’s as if he has a switch.”

Kai narrows his eyes. “And I know little things about switches. But it’s different to become a ‘weapon.’ Your father? He didn’t become a weapon. He was like textbook manslaughter, not cold but rather in tune with blood and death.”

He blinks and looks at Kakashi, “We fought like that once he had enough of me taking your toys. It’s a shame you grew out your plush horsie so quickly.”

Kakashi’s mask hides his blush as he rolls his eyes, “Does everything about you zero down to bullying the weak?”

“Pretty much. It’s a fun hobby,” Kai shrugs. “The point is I’m holding you to your father’s standards. It’s unfair, but what can you do about it? It’s my standard. Maybe you will become your father, or something else but equally amazing. I wouldn’t push someone like you for more unless necessary. Let’s just say these are dire and necessary times.”

Kakashi nods quietly, contemplating Kai’s insight and appreciative standards.

“I will do my best,” Kakashi affirms.

“It’s your choice,” Kai shrugs. “You’ll be doing it for yourself and not anyone else.” His words stump Kakashi as the young boy grumbles under his breath.

“Oh.” Kai rouses. “And remind me to work on your sensory skills and behaviors.”

“Why?” Kakashi frowns.

“I have my reasons,” Kai snickers.

***

Alternate Title: Bound For Uzu; Minato’s Return And Departure; Kurenai Is As Sus As Ever; The Head Pat Loving Team; Konan May Have Punk Appearance, But She’s a Cinnamon At Heart!; Kai: It Ain’t a Vacation! Back To The Grind!; Kakashi’s Rivals; The B-Ranked Quest; The Mysterious Sea; The Off-Record Mission; Konoha’s Dragon Under Sage’s Radar; Jiraiya’s Well-Wishes; Kai Supports His Sexy, Snakey Fuck Buddy!; Putting Kushina’s Excitement Out… In Vain; Kushina: Not All Redheads Are Cum-Drunk Sluts! *Also Kushina*: Is a Cum-Drunk Datter Slut; Kyubi Vying For Attention; Kyubi: I Never Knew I Wanted To Chat So Much Until I Angered My Cute Pumpkin— Wait! Don’t Type That!; Kai’s Appreciation For The Dad-Joke Master Sakumo!