Filthy Gamer in Narutoverse: 247 (Patreon)

Title: Last Issues

“Very good,” Hiruzen smiles at the three girls, wryly so, as he notices the stud under Konan’s bottom lip. “You three performed admirably. And don’t worry. The conflict with the merchants will not reduce the team’s evaluation. While experienced Kunoichi tends to extract information from the merchants, it’s not exactly common on a large scale.”

Hiruzen looks over the girls, glancing at Kai before nodding, “Hmm. Kai, stay. The rest of you can enjoy your well-deserved break.”

The three girls glance at each other as even Kai focuses on his team, not expecting Shizune to voice her thoughts as the girl requests, “Can we take a D-ranked Quest? We didn’t tire ourselves out, and it’s only 11 am.”

Kai’s lips parted with surprise and undeniable pride. His chest almost burst open with such cheer and madness that he had to restrain his emotions for hugging the shit out of the three munchkins! He did it! While he consoled himself day and night due to his disciples' vain interest in other things instead of the grind, Kai never imagined he would witness such a glorious day! The path of the Grind is long and tiring but fulfilling nonetheless. And it starts with a voluntary wish! His girls are growing up to become wonderful Kunoichi!

‘Screw it!’ Kai rolls his eyes before widening his arms and hugging the three of them from behind at once, picking their petite forms while laughing, “Not one! If you desire one mission, you should always complete three instead! Hahaha! You’re right! It’s only 11 am. And with your enthusiasm, you should complete three D-ranked missions by 7 pm!”

Kurenai and Konan pale before accusatorily staring at Shizune.

“Hmm. Fine, three missions.” Hiruzen sighs. This much is acceptable as long as Kai doesn’t promote his previous habits of completing 80% of the D-ranked Missions monthly. Those were dark times.

Hiruzen dismisses Team 6 after assuring Kai another 6 SP through D-ranked missions before addressing Team Kai’s leader—Kai.

“The other report?” Hiruzen looks at Kai as the latter presents another scroll detailing the budget he won from the Old Lord. Hiruzen skims through the contents before nodding with an impressed noise vibrating in his throat. “You did surprisingly well, given this is your first time.”

“Mikoto said the same thing,” Kai nods as Hiruzen blanches for a second before clearing his throat. “Right,” he sighs. “Your team grew well. Their reported skills readily put them at a Chunin’s level, but they also face threats from Shinobi of Hiden Clans and Kekkei Genkai. I suppose that’s why you focus on their basics and physical foundations before anything else with all the weighted training. You should know I have resumed the talks with Sunagakure about the first joint Chunin Exam. Now that we have some time before the war, since Iwa and Kumo will undoubtedly prepare a lot more than before, we can expect this alliance to start without too many troubles. All that’s left will be your mission within Uzushiogakure. Are you sure you can enter their territory peacefully?”

Kai gives a thumbs-up with a smile. “The Uzumaki love me. There won’t be a problem. And if they don’t love me, I have other ways to assure their cordiality. And about the team?”

“Minato, Kushina, and Kakashi,” Hiruzen replies as Kai blinks and nods without raising issues. The third spot always belonged to Nagato or Kakashi. It’s clear Hiruzen expects things to go south since he added an experienced fighter like Kakashi.

“Lord Third, there is also another matter,” Kai contemplates. “I found some valuable information during the escort mission. One of the merchants is a grand collector. Collecting bones, tendons, and other body parts of valued Kekkei Genkai users, you know the kind. His contacts hear the rumor of a pair of white eyes auctioned to a civilian nobility from the Land of Water.”

Hiruzen calmly drums his index finger against his table, “It could be a trap. You never know it with these merchants.”

“I may or may not have used a Genjutsu. Not that the merchant remembers,” Kai hums.

“You broke the rules of the escort mission,” Hiruzen sighs.

“As long as they don’t remember it,” Kai snickers. “Oh, and I met Chukaku from the Fire Temple. He said something about a new moon and sun. Do you know what’s that about?”

Hiruzen mocks a sigh, “Recent events taught me not to put my interests in prophecies, so I suggest you ignore such things and keep up with your training. You should diversify your arsenal with things that work the best with Hiraishin since that’s one of your deadliest techniques. And for that, I have a surprise. How would you like to try your hand at Senjutsu? I specifically kept Jiraiya around for now because of you. You should know Minato-kun left for the training location yesterday.”

“Really?!” Kai acts excited, gushing, “Fuck yeah! When can I leave for the Uzu Mission? The quicker I finish it, the better! Wait, where’s Jiraiya-san? Let me tag him with Hiraishin (as if he hasn’t already) so I can find him to take me to Mount Myoboku the second I complete the mission!”

Hiruzen chuckles, “Calm your horses, Kai-kun. Before you leave, I would like to raise another matter with you. Now that you are so close to accepting my position after the Uzu mission and possibly after a great victory in the war, you should also know some of the secrets. These are the problems I expect you to handle aside from all the other boons and responsibilities you must tend to as Konoha’s Kage. Sit down with this old man—it will take a while.”

And so Hiruzen starts informing Kai about the truth behind the Hyuga Incident, the plots conspired with Yata Uchiha, the faithful use of the [Heavenly Blessing-Earthly Restriction], the loitering entity capable of stealing information, and the possible mastermind behind the raid.

And hearing all this from an unsuspecting Hiruzen put things in perspective for ‘young’ Kai.

‘Man, I know all of it and more. And the things I’m about to do is more outlandish. Not to mention I have the Sharingan, Rinnegan, and Byakuga. What would other villagers think of me if Hiruzen already has such caution for the group of cum-men?’

Hey, at least his girls are taking to the grind. It’s such grand news that Kai plans to throw a party for his fiancees and Bro at his Pad! Not for his team, though. He cannot spoil them during the grind, especially not after a vacation in Honou City.

---

*Sssssssssssssssssssssssss*

Cinnamon hisses boldly, biting his index with her toothless mouth as her soft, white scales glimmer with all the aggressive chakra she can muster as a millennium serpent modified to remain a chibi—by Orochimaru herself!

“She is saying—How dare you?” Orochimaru informs. “Of course, I’m paraphrasing. What your most loyal companion slithered was—Ship me off with a clone again, and I will make it my life’s mission to grow teeth and poison you, even if it may not be effective in the long run.”

Kai chuckles, rubbing Cinnamon’s head with his index finger as he consoles the hurt lady. “I’m sorry. But I made sure to let others know I’m the real one only if you’re around my wrist. That’s something to use and not waste, Cinnamon. Isn’t it always better to be helpful than to stay near me? Besides, my wood clones ARE me.”

*Hissssss*

“She said—”

“I can understand,” Kai scoffs before Orochi can speak as he lets Cinnamon slip into his sleeve before resigning a sigh. “Come on.” He hops off his chair, ignoring the evident scent of sex permeating the once-untouched underground laboratory. Kai and Orochi have been busy with many things over the past few days, and their most impressive accomplishment is none other than the spread of parchments over the entire floor marking a complicated seal with pointed notes and archaic symbols from [Indra’s Tritya Panth.]

“I cannot believe you could create such seals,” Orochimaru praises with an amused smirk every time she sees the archaic seals. And the honest, milk-loving guy he is, Kai accepts the recognition as is. “Thank you. I just had to upgrade the seals of the Laboratory. I cannot risk your Sensei chancing upon this now that he employs Hyuga Clansmen into regular Shinobi forces. The previous seals make the underground space look like a blank canvas to the Hyugas, but the new seals should make the laboratory look like a chunk of earth. But what’s even better is this beauty. It wouldn’t have been possible without your research into Cursed Seals.”

Equally shameless, Orochimaru doesn’t shy from the compliments as her lips rise into a prominent smirk. It doesn’t help Kai’s gaze since he easily lets himself fall into her charm since the woman wears nothing under her white lab coat—something about easy access.

“And I suppose your knowledge of souls from the Uzumaki’s inheritance is an integral part of this new jutsu. But I can’t say it’s especially beneficial to me except for planning backups.”

“The past ‘You’ would cream her panties,” Kai scoffs.

“Now you did it for me,” Orochimaru shrugs, tossing her bunched mound of clothes an unamused glance. “You do understand I will not get pregnant no matter how many times you ejaculate inside me unless I wish to birth a child, don’t you?”

“Ain’t that every man’s dream?” Kai smiles as he crouches beside the spread of parchments. “But even if this technique looks elegant, it’s not complete.” He changes the topic to a more serious tone. While it’s true developing such a technique was Orochimaru’s dream, the [Chimera Cursed Seal] smoothly fulfills more than half her requirements since she can learn most Kekkei Genkai aside from the one birth from genetics, such as a Senju’s physique. But Orochimaru believes she can eventually learn such concepts, too. All in due time.

‘Something I will be able to prolong with this jutsu,’ Orochimaru eyes the jutsu, kneeling beside Kai instead of crouching and exposing herself further. Her odor tingles Kai’s senses as he works his jaw. “We can turn our Souls into a ‘code’ of chakra using the [Chakra Origin Seal], but we have a few issues remaining after developing things this far—First, how to revert said codes of chakra into connected, living souls. Second, developing exactly the same bodies, but our research shows a soul contributes to one’s strength. So a weak, divided soul may not support better physiques.”

“Third,” Orochimaru picks up. “The demise of one soul should not affect another. The soul is always a tricky topic amongst our kinds—and one of the many secrets that stop us from becoming something more than a Shinobi. Fourth, we need to have a moderate understanding of the eight gates before continuing further. The research material from Cerberus isn’t enough.”

Kai and Orochimaru discovered during their research of the jutsu that souls are more connected with tenketsu than they imagined previously.

“We need to conduct live experimentation,” Orochimaru hums. “But my deal with Tsunade is no more unnecessary experiments. And I respect her skills enough to value the deal. It’s a shame.”

Kai shrugs. He doesn’t need to experiment on humans in the long run. His trait will pick up the skill and extrapolate the rest itself once he resolves a few key issues.

“If only we had a freak of nature around us blanketed with the mystery of soul and tenketsu that refuses to die.” Orochimaru sighs, cupping her left cheek as Kai’s thoughts come to a still.

“Fukushu,” he blinks. “Son of a gun, unraveling him will give us the break we need with this Jutsu!”

Orochimaru smiles, winking, “You said it, not me.”

“Yeah,” Kai snickers. “Maybe this will interest Tsunade enough for you to leverage Fukushu over her head and get into the lab with Kakuzu and A’s son.”

It’s Orochi’s turn to blink in surprise before she nods. Kakuzu’s Forbidden Jutsu is what Su perfected before becoming an absolute unit against Sage Jiraiya and Orochi, so the latter’s interest in the Jutsu is definite. And A’s son boasts similar physical hardness as his father, something their group can possibly incorporate within themselves.

As Kai leaves, Orochimaru stays longer beside Jutsu’s article. She stares at the human diagram in the center, noting the flow of chakra from the center of the diagram onto different points marked on the body as she considers one of Kai’s prevalent questions—What happens if we unlock the eight limiting gates not for physical enhancements alone but their pure purpose? I don’t believe the Eight Gates Formation is the end of things. A physical boost is nice, but what good is it if it ends with death?

‘There are so many mysteries in our bodies alone,’ Orochimaru’s slitted pupils reveal her fascination.

‘It’s almost a pleasure researching all this with another capable and willing mind,’ her breath turns hotter as she feels her tits work up. Her lab coat starts staining around her breasts as she licks her bottom lip. ‘And aside from that, I almost forgot I’m the one who has to take Kai out. It could be interesting.’

“Oh, well.” She surmises before sealing the jutsu in a scroll. “Kai will remain busy with missions under the public eye, so we can mess around as we like as long as we’re careful.”

She narrows her eyes.

While Kai exposed his ideals and true plans to her, she still can’t help the feeling he is hiding something from her, and Tsunade knows what that ‘something’ is. It’s just her intuition, but Orochimaru feels she’s right.

‘What can be more damning than conspiring against the world?’ Orochimaru muses as she stores her dirty clothes before dropping her lab coat. Her nostrils twitch as she sighs.

‘I have to ventilate the lab again.’

***

Alternate Title: Team Kai Walking The Grind; Six More SP; Kai Cries Tears of Joy!; The Team Stepping Up To Kai’s Expectations!; The Fund Letter; Successor Mission; The Chunin Exams; The New Jutsu; Soul’s Division is Mean Business; Fukushu: Why Do I Hear Boss Music?; Tsunade And Kai Hide Many Things Than They Let On!; Kakuzu and A’s Demise; Milking Orochi; An UNHAPPY Cinnamon!; Cinnamon’s Vow of Bite!; The Angry Snek!; The New Team For The Mission; Kai: Uzu, Here I Cum!; Minato’s Dreamland; Orochimaru’s Lab: Where Dreams Come True; The Mystery of Eight Gates; The Incoming ‘Fun’ Dates?; Kai Creaming Orochimaru For Everyone’s Peace!; Rocking Naked Lab Coat!; A Lab of Sex; Kai: Yep, I Banged Mitsuki’s Mom