Filthy Gamer in Narutoverse: 244 (Patreon)

Title: Tales of Honou City

“We are grateful for your help,” The group of merchants dressed in the finest silk and lavish jewelry bows to Kai and his team, earning strange looks from the traffic of civilians, artisans, and other nobles alike! The Land of Fire’s capital is a fortified location with armored Samurai capable of using Chakra stationed in different key spots, a few of them noticing the commotion as they pave a way through the stream of people to see the beat-up merchants.

“Rough mission, Jonin Kai?” The leading Samura questions with a nod, casting a stern glance over the untouched caravan before glancing at the blue-eyed merchants. The team of Samurai wears robes and armor-plated red, full masks and helmets except for the leader of the troops, who wear his hair in a topknot and a shaved front side of the head.

“Not really,” Kai smirks. “We took out the few raiding bandits, but these guys forgot we aren’t that not all Kunoichi like sleeping with their clients for extra compensation and information.”

The bowing middle-aged men quiver as the leading Samura strokes his thin beard, “You beat them?”

“They beat each other,” Kai chuckles, snatching the pouch of Ryo from the extended hands of one of these men. “And maybe my team got a few kicks in their nuts, nothing an expensive surgery or a healing jutsu cannot solve. You must be Nijima Takashi, the Castle Guard’s Captain.”

“I am,” He nods, glancing at the peeved Konan, Kurenai, and Shizune. “You are to follow me and meet the Daimyo alone.”

“You heard them, girls,” Kai smiles at his team and disciples. “Stay out of trouble until I return, got it? And enjoy the capital.”

He tosses them the compensation and notes the completion of one of the missions.

[B-Rank Quest: Escorting Sharks

Summary: Lead a path of a Merchant Caravan known for its aggressive business practices from Konoha to the Capital of Land of Fire—Honou City.

Reward: 14 SP

Failure: Konoha Loses the Businesses of Many Caravans.]

[Skill Points: 1970→ 1984]

The girls nod as Kai leaves with the group. Despite being Kunoichi with obvious headbands around their foreheads or necks, the trio of girls doesn't stand out since there are other shinobi in the Capital, too. They stare at the tall black-tiled walls protecting the city and glimpse at the castle erected by the end of the cliff, overseeing the rest of the Capital.

“Let’s go see some plays,” Kurenai blinks, breaking out of her reverie once they enter the settlement, noting beautiful women accompanying many of the similar merchants whose looks and skills leave a lot desirable. They don’t mind or scorn the sight, not after the things they experienced. Young they might be, but their deeds set them apart from the masses.

“No,” Konan shakes her head. “I want to do something else.”

“What?” Shizuen inquires.

“It’s a surprise,” the bluenette smiles and offers, “How about we divide the compensation four ways? I will hold onto Boss’ share.”

“Why do you get to hold onto Kai-Sensei’s share?” Kurenai frowns.

“Because I know him the oldest,” Konan replies without missing a beat.

Shizune observes Kurenai, noting the latter is feeling a lot better after such a journey. Their sensei made sure to make enough dad puns and jokes to move Kurenai’s focus from her recent loss to his ill attempts at humor.

“I will keep Sensei’s share,” Shizune coughs and interjects with a tone that leaves no room for negotiations or arguments. “How about we set a meeting place and time? Sensei didn’t say when he will return, so it’s appropriate to assume he will find us on his own.”

Kurenai and Konan accept before deciding on a place and time for their return. Unlike Kurenai and Konan, Shizune did not have anything to do. She isn’t interested in plays or has some secret surprises to fulfill. She watches men and women dressed in colorful and lavish clothes walking on the sides of paved streets as horse carriages commute other nobles from one location to another.

“What should I do?” Shizune melds into the stream of people, expertly positioning her developing frame to avoid running into others. She comes across parents taking their children to different stores and stalls, eating street food presented by the vendors in slightly dull or vibrant Yutaka based on their establishment. But she recalls her training and avoids the temptations of gorging on cheap food. She doesn’t have her Sensei’s or Kushina’s metabolism, and she usually avoids feasting on junk food alone since Kai treats the team to delicious food often.

“Come along! Look what we have! We bring the finest flowers from the dangerous deserts of the Land of Wind!”

Shizune’s steps still as she looks past the crowd of people, observing pots of beautiful and vibrant flowers ranging from deep-blue lilies to strange green lotuses that grow in soil instead of muddy lakes and swamps.

Her gaze flickers as she walks in the vendor’s direction.

‘I can focus on my study of poison with these, right? Sensei will probably make fun of me and say I should enjoy the sights, but I can’t pass on a great deal either!’ Shizune carefully inspects the flavor, noting their authenticity. ‘But how am I going to carry these flowers? I cannot store them without properly extracting the fluids, or the flowers will die in my storage scroll.’

“Aha, Genin-san, would you like a flavor? This one is rumored to have mystical properties!” The narrow-eyed vendor grins as he touches one of the flowers. “I hear Kunoichi develop early. Bring this to the man you like. Everyone has crushes, right? This flower will surely earn you their affection!”

Shizune rolls her eyes in speechlessness.

She is NOT buying pots of flowers and other plants because of the baseless rumors! But the weight of her coin pouch ascertains she can ludicrously spend since she didn’t spoil herself with great things after completing so many missions.

“I will take them all.”

—For research.

---

Unlike Shizune, Kurenai walks with an objective in her steps. Her wavy black locks bounce as she skips and avoids the sea of men and women, enjoying the brilliant sight of beautiful homes.

‘I want a house like that,’ she muses, sighing internally. A lot of things changed for her, and while Kai and her team don’t let her feel the loneliness, the moments of solitude haunt her nightmares occasionally. It didn’t help that the old men wanted a ‘Kunoichi’ experience since they were used to it for some reason. In Kai’s defense, he tried letting them down with words alone. But some of the more daring merchants used to their aggressive practices by throwing money at all their problems forgot for a fleeting second they were talking to the youngest Jonin in Konoha’s history, who warned them to remain professional—“Don’t you shinobi experience quick physical growth? The girls are around seven and nine, you say. But they easily look like teenagers, no? I can make it worth your while!”

Kai showed everyone the errors of their ways by showing them the worst illusions possible if the quivering and sobbing merchants were a good indicator.

She shakes her head, burying the experience.

‘I can’t help but wonder what others feel when they experience loss. Do Konan and Shizune think about their parents?’

Kurenai wanted to see a play with everyone, ‘But that could wait until Sensei’s return.’ She frowns.

‘Is it wrong to use my loss as an excuse to make others do my bidding?’ She would never even think about such notions before. After all, she works her ass off in the missions for Kai to see her way: case in point—the ankle and wrist weights transformed into pretty bracelets inhibits her pace. But despite the constantly growing poundage, Team Kai learned to maintain their postures and perform daily activities without breaking a sweat.

‘Our team must be the strongest by now!’ She smiles before stopping and frowning.

‘I’m losing my focus,’ she notes with a sad sigh. Her mind isn’t in the game for a while now. Her thoughts continue to drift onto different topics as if she’s trying to find reasons to keep her mind busy.

—“It’s alright. Remember? I didn’t train you to become ‘weapons.’ And I have enough faith in the three of you that you can get through anything, with my training, of course!”—

Kai’s voice resurfaces in her mind as Kurenai’s mood brightens. She understands Kai’s faith in everyone stems from his confidence in his ability and might. That’s why Kai can be as kind as he likes; and as wrathful as he pleases—because he is strong.

‘But why did he have to be so kind?’ Kurenai idly looks through the stall of thin booklets, browsing through the literary material without paying any attention to the words in the book. ‘I cannot even muster an ounce of hatred for what happened. Who should I hate? A dead Kumo Shinobi who died alongside my father? Thousands of kunoichi like me suffer similar losses daily, if not by the hour. Maybe becoming a ‘weapon’ is the easier choice as opposed to what I believed previously. If Sensei heard me, I’m sure he would say something like—Beliefs? Ideals? A kid like you only needs to work the field and chase cats!’

Her red pupils fixate on a book on the counter—a book she has seen in Kai’s hand many times and something she has read in the passing.

‘Jiraiya’s Make Out Tactics.’

She works her jaw, her mind wandering again as she lowers her head and gives herself a look.

‘Am I wrong, or is Sensei trying to stop us from doing the same things as he did? I heard he used to harass his Sensei, Tsunade-Sama, quite often. And he even kept on saying wild stuff about marrying several kunoichis.’

She picks up the book, flipping through the pages. ‘If I were like Sensei, what adult man would I chase? Wait, no! That’s a dangerous thought! Abolish it!’

She shakes her head, dropping the book before running away, her fair cheeks turning bright red.

“—Kurenai?!”

A loud voice stops her rush as Kurenai turns back to see a familiar face, “Asuma?” She blinks her round eyes as she stares at Team Nawaki before scowling at Kinju and Hikari Aburame. The latter two left a strong impression on Kurenai since Kinju didn’t earn any favors by making fun of Shizune, while Hikari managed to pull Kurenai into a Genjutsu using a ‘cheap’ trick.

“Is Kai around here? I didn’t know he had a mission near Honou City, too,” Nawaki smiles at Kurenai.

“Sensei has some other stuff to do,” Kurenai shakes her head. While Kai didn’t tell them anything about meeting with the Daimyo, Kurenai didn’t need an explicit warning that certain things aren’t needed to be spoken publicly.

“Oh,” Nawaki hums before looking at his team. “Would you like to go on your own, too? We have three hours to spare before we spend our time returning to the village.”

Asuma, Kinju, and Hikari look at each other before shrugging.

“Hmm. Meet me at the entrance in three hours,” Nawaki grins at them before flickering away as if in a hurry.

“So?” Kurenai crosses her arms, “Another D or C-ranked mission?” The hint of condescension in her tone doesn’t go unnoticed as Kinju frowns while Hikair admits honestly. “Yes. It was a simple extermination mission.”

“Don’t just agree to her words!” Kinju rolls his eyes before staring at Kurenai. “Even if it was a C-ranked mission, we aren’t weaker! We kicked your butts before, and we can do it again! Especially me!”

His irides whirl and turn red, marked by a single black tomoe.

Kurenai’s eyelids jump in surprise. She didn’t expect Kinju to awaken Sharingan as her thoughts still. Revealing a reluctant expression, Kurenai bows slightly, “I’m sorry.”

Kinju’s expression stiffens before his Sharingan fades away while Asuma questions, “You knew? We didn’t exactly see you during the latter half of the ceremony.”

“Kai-Sensei taught us a lot about different clans. And Mikoto-san also told us about her experiences,” Kurenai mutters before sighing. “Do you guys have anything planned? If not, we can go watch a street play.”

“Spare me the pity,” Kinju scoffs, flickering away as Hikari contemplates for a few seconds before shaking her head, “I want to try my luck finding a good breed of insects. Honou City imports many products from all around the continent.”

She leaves without showing off her skill as a shinobi, leaving Asuma and Kurenai alone.

“So?” Kurenai raises an eyebrow as Asuma shrugs. “Can’t get any more boring. Let’s go.”

“Hah?” Kurenai snorts. “If you have such a problem, you can go on your own!”

Asuma scoffs in return, “Fine. I wanted to see one of the twelve guardians anyway! He is dining in a nearby inn!”

The youth turns on his heel at once, quickly leaving as if he cannot wait to meet one of the twelve guardians. Kurenai’s lips part for a second, but she shuts up and looks away.

‘I guess that’s on me,’ She grumbles and starts to idle away, alone. Her feet bring her back to the bookstall from before as she makes a few purchases.

‘I’m a genin from Konohagakure! And I will grow into a fine Kunoichi one day! Let Shizune train without taking care of herself, and Konan geek over something as simple as a paper! I’m going to add another skill to develop under my roster without telling anyone! And when I’m as skillful in Genjutsu as Nono-san, I will surprise everyone when I reveal the ways of a ‘professional’ Kunoichi!’

But her true thoughts were as simple as—‘Better than nothing, right? And I’m bored.’

---

*Ting-a-ling*

Windchimes produce a soothing melody, swaying due to the modest wind under the peaceful afternoon sun as a blue-haired girl walks past a block of houses into a discreet street where the din of crown doesn’t outshine the melodic wind chimes. The girls instantly attract attention, but most of the calculative gazes recede the second they look at the girl’s forehead protector.

It takes balls to scheme against a Konoha shinobi, irrelevant of their ranks, inside the Land of Fire’s capital!—Balls many of the men and women in the area lack, as Konan’s amber hues observe the area.

‘Hmm. I heard Tsunade-Sama talk about this place when she was drunk. But I don’t find that store—there it is!’

It’s clear Konan waited for this moment her entire career as her visage of a barely hardened Kunoichi wears off, and she enters a less than stellar building, staring at the greeting lady with an awe-struck look.

“Ara~!” The woman touches the piercing in the corner of her lips. “Kunoichi-chan, do you like decorations like these, too?”

Konan blinks before gulping.

She doesn’t know how her Boss/Sensei and her brothers will react when they see her later. As for her teammate? Well, Konan cares for Shizune’s thoughts. As for Kurenai? Kurenai who?

But she wants one so bad!

“C-could I get one right here?” Konan points at the center right below her bottom lip as the woman’s eyes glimmer in appreciation. “Of course, dear. It will look quite cute on you. Just before we begin, what’s your age? I tend to say ‘strange’ things, and I will feel bad if you’re younger than you look. I can never tell it with you, Shinobi.”

Konan thins her lips before nodding, “I’m 14 this year.”—Says the 9-year-old.

---

“Ah, teaching my team is one of the most blessed experiences. I am happy to guide the youth of tomorrow on the right path. Thank you for asking,” Kai smiles brightly, returning the bow to a thin and short bald monk getting to his age as the monk chuckles, “Information says you aren’t older than fifteen. Forgive me for noting the humor in your words, but Kai-kun, you ARE the youth of tomorrow. Haha.”

The monk in question boasts slightly protruding ears, a long grey goatee, and a waistcloth with the kanji ‘fire’ around his habit—Chukaku, the leading monk of the Fire Temple and one of the twelve guardian shinobi, the Daimyo’s personal security detail.

The duo finds themselves in a simple room unbefitting a Daimyo with a long table in the center and twelve chairs around it. Kai and Chukaku sit opposite each other near the head of the table as Nijima watches over them with a stern gaze.

“How long do you think the Daimyo will take?” Kai casually questions as Nijima frowns. “Lord Daimyo has only recently accepted the position from his father, and six years isn’t enough time to master all the responsibilities. It is natural Lord Daimyo is busy with a more pressing issue.”

“Didn’t he marry four years ago?” Kai shrugs. “I’m sure he is fulfilling his responsibilities with flying colors.”

Nijima’s eyes widen while Chukaku chuckles.

“No shinobi are permitted to use their sensory abilities inside the Daimyo’s residence!”

“I know,” Kai huffs, placing his cheek upon an arm set on the table. “The seals on the castles are old, but they work fine. I just guessed I wouldn’t meet the young Lord but the old one instead. If you don’t mind my words, I would like to point out that, like the seals around the castle, the fake wall has gotten old, too. You might want to refurbish the room.”

Nijima frowns but doesn’t say a thing while Chukaku stares at the pointed wall intently, nodding, “Oh! I see the scratches, too. The scrapes near the wall also show the hinges have gotten loose over the changes in weather and temperature, causing the door to tilt outwards!”

“Shut up!” Nijima snaps as the wall suddenly moves, slightly scraping against the wall as an old man walking with a cane, dressing in a deep-black robe from head to toe, steps out with a few Samurai.

Kai and Chukaku stand in respect for the gentleman—The First Daimyo.

“I see,” the old man slowly walks to the head of the table as Nijima bows deeply. “Old Sarutobi wasn’t bullshitting when he said he found a fine Shinobi for the ‘chair.’” His words, like this room, are crude and unbefitting a Daimyo. But Kai rolls with a smile, “I’m glad I could make a great first impression, OId Lord.”

The Fire Daimyo sits, barking a wheeze of a laugh, “Impression? Do you call letting two villages ambush the country’s military force a Great Impression? Why wasn’t the Tsuchikage and the Raikage caught then and there?”

Kai takes his seat, too, as Chukaku keeps standing.

“The same reason I can infiltrate another village, raise a ruckus, and leave without getting caught—it’s not a viable sacrifice to capture individuals who hold power to rival their entire forces.”

“You hold the power to match Sarutobi?” The old man looks at Kai with his cloudy eyes. “You’re a young brat! And Sarutobi will face the consequences of disrespecting the country by sending a child to do the talking!”

*Poof*

A puff of smoke covers Kai as Nijima and Chukaku turn cautious.

As the smoke disperses, they see Hiruzen Sarutobi sitting in Kai’s stead, but as he speaks, they hear Kai’s voice. “Is this more to your liking, Old Lord?”

The Old Daimyo looks at Kai for a minute before shaking his head with a smirk. “It was better before. Who knew the Sarutobi aged like a shriveled nut?! That man should have died young like my pal Hashirama and Tobirama! Anyway, turn back before you give this old man a reason to order my men and beat the crap out of another old fool.”

Kai smirks, dispelling the jutsu. Sakumo may have destroyed his humor, but Kai does get some practical jokes on point!

“Thank you, Old Lord,” Kai smiles. “I’m here to report about the invasion and our losses in keeping the Land of Fire safe.”

Kai didn’t need Hiruzen to tell him that forking out the most benefits was the only way for this meeting to become fruitful. And the responsibility also ties in the tactical benefits Kai must win ‘cordially,’ meaning: he is doing Shikudo Nara’s job—which is sharing the Hokage’s Job, in Kai’s humble opinion, and something he plans to do more intensively once he takes over the position.

Nobody’s got time to push paper on a desk when there is a whole wide world to fuc— explore.

***

Alternate Title: The Aggressive Merchants?; The Escort Mission Turned Into Friendly Fire; Merchants Feeling Safe After the Bandit’s Defeat *That One Merchant About To Seal Their Fates*; The Bully Kai Enters The Capital; Kai: I am Glad To Bring My Disciples To The Righteous Path! *Three Disciples: Horni*; Shizune About To Poison Hearts With Her Sweetness; The Lost Kurenai; Kurenai Acts Tsundere… It Fails—She Accepts Her Fate And Walks The Darkside; Team 6 and 10; Act of Empathy; Teaching Beyond Hatred; Kai Fulfilling His Role As a Teacher: Admirably!; Konan’s Darkest Fantasy; The World Isn’t Ready For The Emo Paper Geek!; Nawaki Suspicioulsy In a Hurry; The Daimyo’s Security Detail; The Old Daimyo; The Crude Ruler; The Talks of War and Compensation; Chukaku of the Fire Temple; Kai Only Capable of Rizzing OId Men; Kai: Curse You, Sakumo!; Kurenai’s Dream: A Warm House And a Skillset of a Femme Fatale