Filthy Gamer in Narutoverse: 232 (Patreon)

Title: Orochimaru’s Long-Awaited Union

The damage to the village’s structure, as unreal as it can get, is easy to rebuild with the assistance of many civilians and acquiring newer methods of construction from civilian-intense settlements such as the capital of the Land of Fire, who are used to live without Shinobi, finding different ways to improve the quality of their lives.

The real damage to Konoha is the body count of the several shinobi during the raid.

Many shinobi died.

“But has Konoha really lost the war?” a voice inquires in a pristine space several meters underground. The sleek white floors have no prints of dirty boots or sandals, reflecting ceiling lights bouncing off the straight walls, revealing a barely-equipped experiment lab save for a table-sofa set and a distant desk near the northern corner of the room. Her pale yellow eyes shift from one spot to another with a widening smirk as she makes herself a tad more comfortable on the couch, eyeing the cup on the table without any intention of drinking it.

She questions again.

“Compared to other villages, what has Konoha lost? Men? Structure? Order?” Her gaze settles on the jacked youth sitting opposite her. “By the way, if you need help decorating your lab, you can just ask. I will be happy to share my knowledge.”

“It’s alright. I had this lab built out of childish want, and Kushina’s seeing more use of this space than I ever did.”

“It’s true,” Orochimaru narrows her eyes. “You have always been odd, learning things that would take others years formulating—I’m starting to believe it’s not the plain genius of the shinobi but something else, too.”

“Does that matter?” Kai inclines his head, his pitch-black eyes matching hers as he smiles slightly. He can feel Orochimaru slithering toward the objective of this meeting, something Kai is happy to accept since he needs to work on his next goal.

“It doesn’t. Anything unique to you must also fall under the vague canopy of talent,” Orochimaru hums, tapping her finger on her arm as she crosses them under her breasts. “Information is a funny thing. Three days have passed since the raid, and I have compiled all the reports as Sensei ordered. It is hard for me not to notice a few peculiarities.”

The woman smiles knowingly.

“But when I think about other undocumented events of the village, things become clearer.”

“Okay? And?” Kai blinks indifferently.

“And?” Orochimaru stares intensely into Kai’s eyes. “Did you use the Chimera Seal we developed to give yourself a Sharingan and Byakugan? What about Mokuton?”

Kai stills before smiling.

“Aren’t you smart?” He shrugs without finding a need to deny it since Orochimaru is just as damned as him. “Is that why you’re here?”

“Are you not curious how I found this out?” Orochi’s brows twitch.

“Not really. For all I know, you could have dreamt of it.”

“I see. I will walk you through the process,” Orochimaru smiles as Kai rolls his eyes. “I said I’m not interested.”

“Isn’t that too bad? Because I’m going to do it anyway.”

“Are you angry about something?” Kai blinks and questions, sensing a film of annoyance around Orochimaru using his [Chakra Empath.]

“No. Why would I be angry?”

“Because I did what you said without involving you?”

“That does not matter.”

“Sounds like it does.”

“I assure you, I have more ideas than this simple one,” Orochimaru remarks with a cold smile, but Kai can ‘see’ he’s spot-on as he makes himself comfortable and lets the woman in the front vent.

“As I was saying, the reports have few peculiarities. But four points stand out the most. First is Dodai’s death. You said Dodai found a way to poison himself a second before he fell into Genjutsu, perhaps a temporary Fuinjutsu’s work. Second: Who saved Yata from being assassinated by the Third Raikage? We three Sannin were not near, and Sensei was busy with the Third Tsuchikage. Third: Mukai Kohinata’s Irrational behavior. And fourth, the mysterious organization behind this raid. Would you like me to explain this?”

“At the risk of sounding like a Nara Shinobi—Just stop it,” Kai groans.

“Let’s start with the last topic. After we returned from a mission, we started using our Sage Modes at different intervals to surveil Konoha’s borders 24/7 at Sensei’s command. Of course, against Sensei’s orders, Jiraiya must have peaked at the woman’s bath, Tsunade must have tried a favorable gamble, and I tried to understand more about Hyuga’s Situation. But we never sensed the third party snooping around. Can he avoid Senjutsu Sensors? I don’t think so. I think the third party was present when Sensei decided to tell us about the information theft going around the continent and conveniently leaving out his plans for the Hyuga Clan. But I ask you this. Who is the fourth Sage of Konoha that Sensei doesn’t know about and, therefore, the third party is unaware of?”

Kai traces his chin.

“Well, Jiraiya-san is the first Sage. By the way, I don’t think he’d peak at a woman’s bath using Sage Mode. He’s the kind of man who likes getting his hands dirty, so it’s always climbing the roof or using a telescope to peek from a closer distance. Anyway. The second Senjutsu user is Mitsuki, if I recall correctly. The third Senjutsu user is you. Huh, the fourth one is me.”

“How the math works out, right?” Orochimaru smiles. “Let’s say the Fourth Sage doesn’t proclaim a ‘Will of Fire’ like others, interested in his own goals and objectives instead of Konoha’s prosperity. Isn’t it correct to assume he is more likely to keep quiet about this mysterious invader and follow him instead of speaking about it, exposing his Senjutsu to the world?”

“Are you pinning the same blame on your Adoptive Son?” Kai questions with a smile.

“Let’s not go in that direction,” Orochimaru replies in her usual scratchy voice. “We both know I’m doing this for personal satisfaction.”

“There are other ways for that, but alright.”

Kai grows silent, letting Orochimaru continue.

“The third point is Mukai’s irrationality. Why would he take the eyes of the elders but not Hiashi and Hizashi? His crimes reward him with a death sentence, so it doesn’t matter if he leaves Hiashi and Hizashi. The three do not have a great relationship either. Why didn’t he kill Hon and Umi Hyuga after escaping Konoha’s borders successfully? I believe someone controlled him to leave these men and women alone—individuals who meaningfully contribute to Konohagakure.”

“The second point is—who is someone as strong and fast, if not more powerful and faster than the Third Raikage? Who is the only one in Konoha who has mastered many hidden abilities several times faster than anyone in history?”

“Finally, the first point: Who profits from a Dodai in a Genjutsu suddenly dying—unable to describe what happened to him seconds before his death. The poison destroyed his neurological system at a pace just quick enough for the supposed genius of Iryo-Nin to be helpless. But again, the public doesn’t have all the information. If these men realize that you can heal things like Tenketsu, maybe they will have to reevaluate your skills.”

“But!”

Orochimaru suddenly grows visibly excited. She stares at Kai so intensely he can feel himself being a noodle of ramen dipped in pork soup under Kushina’s fiendish stare!

“There is a contradiction! Before his departure, Mukai reverse-summoned Hyuga Eyes twice! But that isn’t the only contradiction. You’re a smart boy,” she whispers, flicking her tongue across her lower lip. “You have always caught on to my trick earlier than most, except the few months I was a woman. Can you tell what point I’m talking about?”

“Fine! If it means we can end this conversation quicker.” Kai huffs in apparent exhaustion, not physically drained but emotionally by a constantly bouncing redheaded spinner on top of him since the end of the raid. Man! He wants to show some love to Mikoto, too! But Kushina is too damn ravenous!

He needs to do something.

And Orochimaru’s apparent glee isn’t helping.

“You said someone beguiled Mukai. Only two men are capable of it and remain hidden—the mysterious third party and the hidden Sage. But the former is antagonizing Konoha, and the latter is individualistic. So, why would they want Hizashi and Hiashi alive, easing the Hyuga Clan to integrate with the Shinobi forces of the Village?”

“Correct!” Orochimaru leans forward, blazing curiosity dancing in her serpentine yellow eyes. “But what if this individual is going to succeed as the Fourth Hokage? Is it not beneficial for the Hyuga Clan to already be integrated with the Village System before he takes over? So? Tell me. Why?”

“Before that, are you done?” Kai questions, making Orochimaru respond with a satisfied smirk as if she’d itched the perfect spot. “I am.”

“Well, before I answer you. Would you like to know something only Tsunade knows?” He leans forward with a similar grin, his gaze enticing Orochimaru to step in further, demanding things to know for herself.

“There is another reason why I think you must have used [Chimera Seal],” Orochimaru narrows her eyes. “You know Tsunade told Sensei about her Mokuton, right? As her Legacy Guardian, she will run things like this by you, even if it's only a formal notification. How did she suddenly gain the ability to use Mokuton? It’s because of the little bit of First Hokage’s stem cells harvested from Danzo, right? There is no reason to believe that you didn’t learn Mokuton either using [Chimera Seal] to understand the ratio of elemental chakra to produce Wood Nature Release. So, why stop? Why not take things further, using the seal to ‘paste’ Sharingan and Byakugan on your eyes?”

“And I’m offering to tell you more than you can imagine,” Kai grins. Chakra flares close to his eyes as flaming patterns start to encroach the corner of his eyes from his temples until the veins around his left eye bulge, his left pupil turning pale, pupilless yellow, while three tomoes whirl into action in his right eye, forming a yellow sharingan contrasting with his black sclera.

Orochimaru takes time to appreciate these changes. Her gaze fixes itself upon his eyes, a ludicrous desire growing within her as she whispers, “If we can learn Mokuton, I wonder if we can synthesize Sharingan and Byakugan to match our genetic composition.”

“I tried with the Byakugan,” Kai reveals with a shrug. “One of my rare failures. I did devise another Jutsu out of it. Believe me, when I say this, the Dojutsu is a whole different beast for some reason. I think it’s because they’re related to the Rikudo.”

Orochimaru blinks in surprise as Kai points at his Sharingan.

“The Sharingan,” his other hand touches the spot near his left eye. “The Byakugan. The Mangekyo Sharingan—all of them are related to Rikudo. I didn’t believe the sensation I felt from the Byakugan in my Sage Mode, but it feels intimately connected with Sharingan.”

“You’re trying to say you have a reason to doubt the Sharingan is related to the mythical Rinnegan?” Orochimaru spots the point Kai is trying to make.

“It’s quite a selfish thing I want,” Kai muses as he retrieves a scroll. “Like you have your ideal to learn every Jutsu by trying to complete ‘that’ Forbidden Jutsu, my goals can be considered equally forbidden by the leaders of this world. That is the ‘why’ you want to know from me IF I really was behind the mess with Mukai and whatnot.”

“I can see a Byakugan in your left eyesocket,” Orochimaru chuckles.

“Gotta maintain deniability, right?” Kai shrugs.

“So? What is it? The big secret? What are the things you’re hiding from me?” Orochimaru licks her lips.

“I’ll tell you one thing,” Kai rubs the back of his head. “It’s the only thing that matters to me aside from the training. You have to promise not to laugh.”

“I might if it’s childish.”

“Well. Children don’t do those things, so it’s fine.” Kai works his jaws, explaining his desires as articulately as possible, revealing why he is interested in Orochimaru’s aim to create a Forbidden Jutsu. She’s certainly smart enough to understand that Kai might have more than just a framework in his mind to complete her Jutsu, and her extensive research might work in their favor if they put their heads together—something she’s aiming for since the beginning, only to find Kai caught up with other things until now.

‘No, now is the right time to develop this.’ Orochimaru realizes quickly. ‘The chances of things getting out in a full-blown war are small, and he can use this war as a chance to act even if he is only expected to be the Hokage after the war.’

“So?” Kai smiles widely. “Pretty stupid, right? Nobody would even believe what I want and what I will end up doing for it.”

Orochimaru mulls under her breath.

“Inuzuka Okami and I had an interesting conversation.”

“Tsume’s mom?” Kai scoffs. “She’s crazy, filling Tsume with the idea of being a mother just at the age of 13. That woman has no chill!”

“No, she seems to be the kind of woman to try what you said, but more directly, if she was born a man.”

“Yeah, I remember you killing an Inuzuka just because he wanted to rut on someone else during our post in Ame.”

“Hmm.” Orochimaru nods. “I don’t see why there’s a need to laugh at it. Tsunade laughed at your goals in your early years, and look where she’s gotten—half-as-step in your bed. If anything, I pity the world leaders who will have to face insidious means just for this objective.”

“I may be great with Jutsu and all that,” Kai reveals, “But I had help along the way almost every time. And the reason I’m revealing this to you isn’t just because of creating a Jutsu together.”

“Your point being?” Orochimaru narrows her eyes.

“I’d just like a timeframe when we’ll fuck.”

“Hnn?” Orochimaru raises an eyebrow as Kai looks at her calmly. “Or am I wrong?”

“Is that any way to talk to a dignified mother of one?” Orochimaru smiles.

“As long as it isn’t mine,” Kai shrugs, leaving Orochimaru a little speechless.

“So, others get the proper experience. And I don’t because of my past?”

“Well, it’s not about dicks, right? And I’m open-minded enough to understand you were pretty fruity back then, too. Now, you have the proper utilities to accommodate it.”

Orochimaru narrows her eyes, “I was referring to my past ‘works’ alongside Danzo.”

Kai’s dojutsu recedes as he tilts his head. “Yeah? Let’s not kid ourselves. If you get in trouble for ‘that,’ it won’t be because of the things you did achieve or who you associated yourself with, but your failure to disclose the result of your study that can vastly increase the military power of Konoha. And maybe you did it back then out of not getting in Hiruzen’s bad side, but now? It’s probably because of Mitsuki.”

“What do you mean?” Orochimaru frowns.

“Come on,” Kai looks at her. “Even I’m protective of my team, Kushina, and others. I won’t willingly hurt them.”

“Says the damned mortal enemy of Orphans.”

“I wouldn’t subject them to inhumane experiments at a bare chance of creating another Sage Transformation Shinobi,” Kai punctuates. “And you won’t either, Dignified Mother of One.”

Orochimaru thins her lips, her gaze bobbing up and down as she assesses the youth in front of her.

“How about now?” Orochimaru speaks suddenly.

“Now?”

“Right.”

“Now isn’t any good. Of course, if you’ll settle for a wood clone, things can be different.”

“You’re a wood clone?” Orochimaru’s voice notes momentary surprise as Kai’s smirk widens.

“Amazing, wood clone is said to have shared consciousness,” Orochimaru leans forward, “Can every single one of your clones see and hear me? Is it cognitively difficult?”

“A little,” Kai nods. “So?”

“A Dignified Mother of One never settles,” Orochimaru leans back, huffing in slight exhaustion. “When do we begin?”

“Now,” Kai shrugs.

“Now?”

“What’s stopping me from getting through your research and starting that Jutsu now? I’m still me.” Kai points at his face with a wide grin. “Let’s get things started! I can’t wait to see what we’d create.”

Orochimaru tilts her head, narrowing her eyes. “Another pun?”

“What pun?”

Kai looks back cluelessly, mastering the art of sexual puns to such an extent that even he cannot recognize most of them!

***

Alternate Title: Okami’s Breeding Corruption Expands; Orochimaru Isn’t Angry… Maybe a Little?; Orochimaru Putting Clues in Perspective; Orochimaru: Mitsuki, We’re Putting Our Detective Pants Tonight. *A Depressed Mitsuki*: Fuck My Life; Kai Be Like—We Do A Little Trolling; Kai Doing Hokage Things Admirably; Don’t Let Kai Fool You, Okami Is The Real Self-Insert FF Protag Ever!; Sharingan and Byakugan; Reeling A Snake Using Eyes; Literally Kai: Segs When?; Orochimaru, Truly A Dignified Mother; Changes; Introspection; Tsunade Once Laughed, Now She Sucks; Tsunade is Indeed the Legendary Sucker; When Luck is So Bad You Become a Harem Member Somehow; Making Sakumo Proud; Rizz-puns; Orochimaru Is the Living Embodiment of Catching Up To Someone’s Accomplished Achievements in a Video Game; Orochimaru Just Wanted to Be Involved; Orochi’s Yun-Yun Phase