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Kingdom Hearts Is Stupid Gibberish (The Jimquisition) (Patreon)

Published:
2019-01-28 14:52:14
Imported:
2020-05

Content

Kingdom Hearts III is imminent, but we're not in the business of just letting you enjoy games around here. Let's talk about how awful Kingdom Hearts is.

I mean... it's a good game. A great game. But it is also awful, stupid, and utter gibberish.

Files

Kingdom Hearts Is Stupid Gibberish (The Jimquisition)

http://www.patreon.com/jimquisition http://www.thejimquisition.com https://www.thejimporium.com Kingdom Hearts III is imminent, but we're not in the business of just letting you enjoy games around here. Let's talk about how awful Kingdom Hearts is. I mean... it's a good game. A great game. But it is also awful, stupid, and utter gibberish. #KingdomHearts #SquareEnix #PS4 #XboxOne #Jimquisition #JimSterling __ Twitter: https://twitter.com/jimsterling Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jimsterling0 Jim’s Big Ego (No Relation): http://bigego.com/ Bandcamp of the Sax Dragon - https://carlcatron.bandcamp.com Nathan Hanover - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-8L7n7l11PJM6FFcI6Ju8A

Comments

Anonymous

Honestly, anyone who'd argue this plot ISN'T the height of silly, is just willfully tricking themselves. It's about as cleverly laid out as the Twilight series, but some demographics of person wont accept that they like fluff like the rest of us, so it has to be PERFECT ART. But ya'll it's just silly good fun.

Anonymous

I think media, and its discussion, will be greatly improved when we can all agree some stuff we watch and enjoy is fucking daft. We will all just say "This thing I watch/play/read/listen to/inject into my crotch is just daft but I enjoy it so I don't care." I think the issue is the concept of the Guilty Pleasure that has fucked up everything. The idea that liking something that isn't high art is shameful.

BOBdotEXE

It's kinda funny, if you look at the release timeline, (including re-makes/repacks) Kingdom Hearts has literally become a annual release series, Something 'new' just about every year since 2007. Even though I'm a huge fan, The series is becoming pretty top heavy. Sure you can summarize the whole series (up to kh3) as "Xehanort wants to make a cool sword, so with manipulation and time-travels, He needs Gathers the ingredients, thirteen bad guys, and seven good guys". But the fact that pretty much 90% of coded is filler, but don't worry the ending is SUPER vital to the plot. And, the excuse "Well you see, Xehanort can time travel because he went back in time to give himself time travel powers" are things that even as a 'super fan' I can't really forgive. For the rest, as being a fan of the Final Fantasy VII series (yes, it's a series now..) I'm kinda used to it. I can just sit back and enjoy the crazy ride that is squareenix extended lore.

Perpetual Noob

This almost exactly encapsulated my feelings about KH3. I played 1, 2, and Chain of Memories when it was re-released on PS2. I wanted 3 so much. Then there was a handheld spin-off (for a device I didn't have). Then another. And another. Etc. I just...I don't even know if I will buy and play this one. I'm so tired. A lot changes in 14 years.

Anonymous

Please can you release your entire reading of the story as an unlisted video or on soundcloud or somewhere?

Joseph A.
>>19314900

I believe there's a lack of appreciation (or even literacy) in storytelling fundamentals that ought to be addressed. I don't believe in 'brows', but on that merit, the general audience wouldn't be intimidated evaluating such narratives if they understood how to engage its components. If Kingdom Hearts wasn't a video game, you're left with a narrative that can't be taken seriously. Perhaps its the choice medium we should scrutinize then?

Tellos

We saw this coming when all the FF7 spin offs came. Endless remakes spin offs re releases and now this.

Anonymous

The video was a lot of fun as always but I was thinking about something (please take into consideration I've never played a Kingdom Hearts game before) How Kingdom Hearts story kerfuffle differs from the "non ingame" lore of Dark Souls? I think some of the points Jim made in the video could apply to Dark Souls...

BJams
>>19317925

I think the difference is that in Dark Souls you can pretty much ignore the lore and world-building if you want. Most DS games only have a few very short cutscenes with little dialogue or exposition.

Hansbert Emmer

First of all: congrats on landing that The Darkness joke &lt;3 Second: The problem with Kingdom Hearts as a franchise is that Tetsuya Nomura is in charge of it. That's the same guy who decided to redo what would later become Final Fantasy 15 from the ground up several times until he decided he wanted to do a different project and squenix hat to bring in someone else to salvage something presentable from that mess (and kudos to that guy, seriously). Apparently Nomura-san also treated his employees like shit if interviews are to be believed. Given how hard it is to get Japanese people to complain, and how used they are to terrible working conditions, it ought to have been pretty bad.

Hansbert Emmer
>>19320970

Also, in case anyone hasn't seen the "Kingdom hearts explained in 4 minutes" video, you're welcome: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8o1ieehttdA" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8o1ieehttdA</a>

Anonymous

<i>"I mean [</i>Frozen<i>] is good, but it's not as good as John Carpenter's</i> The Thing <i>now is it!"</i> - <b>Jim Sterling, explaining the subtle differences between 80's horror films and 2010-ish Disney films (2019)</b> I found this video very entertaining, although I must confess I don't feel particularly strongly about the issue at hand. I never played Kingdom Hearts and basically knew nothing about the series going in, and after that I reckon I know even less... ;p That being said given how folks (often folk younger than me) have a great deal of affection for anime stylized RPG's and Disney I can certainly understand the appeal of KH, and I'm not sure I'm allowed to complain about baffling nonsensical plots given the kind of stories and settings I'm into. I think the underlying narrative of Metal Gear Solid is great and that's a series almost renowned for it's tangent-shifting eruditely-waffling plot. The thing I find difficult to get to grips with about KH is the jarring aesthetic differences between the kawaii manga-noid adolescents that make up the original cast and the various Disney worlds they're visiting. Did I see Jack Sparrow battling alongside the games protagonist in that video? Imagine if a live human, a human with hair/skin pores/organs/bodily fluids/etc somehow ended up inhabiting the same plane of existence as a humanoid anime being, with however his/her/their speculative biology would operate assuming that the laws of it's reality operated in such as way that biological processes were an actual thing. Wouldn't they send each other irretrievably insane by merely being in proximity to one another? Each mind, each sapient mass of being quivering in cellular revulsion at exposure to something mutually alien? Like the Elder Gods of HP Lovecraft's mythos but instead of being abominable and malevolent they just get really squicked-out whenever they come across humans. EDIT: I'm so sorry about this post everyone...

PatronGuy

Loved the video, but I feel you've cheated us! WHY, cuz you skimmed over the chronological retelling of the KH story so far. I for one would love to see you do that whole thing in full. Also I'd recommend checking out 'So this is Basically Kingdom Hearts' by JelloApocalypse on Youtube.

Anonymous
>>19327262

your commitment to this train of thought made an interesting read.

Anonymous
>>19327262

I had more, but restrained myself before I accidentally transformed into some sort weird gaming industry equivalent of Reza Negarestani.

Anonymous
>>19327262

The basic appeal of the game should be pretty universal; a great big fun mash-up of Final Fantasy/anime and Disney, where you get to run around sightseeing and having fun in faithfully recreated versions of the classic movies. But with the incomprehensible and impenetrable plot, it get's a lot more difficult to enjoy. I've played the first game and a couple of the spin-offs, and feel like I'm back at Uni with an eff'ing reading-list to get cought up for the new one...

William Gafford
>>19327262

That's more a problem of the newer, live-action Disney films. The older animated ones (once rendered in 3D models) clashed a lot less.