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Hey everyone,

Here's the next bit of commissioned artwork that I've been collaborating on an artist with for the last few weeks. 

This is the first award ceremony from chapter 37, where Admiral Devereux comes up with the Lion of the Federation title.

I'll be using this as the coverart for eBook 4.

Cheers

Tefler

Files

Comments

Anonymous

Beautiful

Anonymous

Nice, I'm glad Alyssa has moved away from looking like Uma Thurman

Anonymous

I have to be honest I’m not completely sure about this one, it looks like a face has been found and photoshopped onto 3 of the girls with just the hair being changed and in Jade’s case skin colour changed. They kind of lose their individuality which is a shame. Other than that though I like the subject, and the cut off the uniform works too.

Anonymous

Idk how to feel about this... I feel like obviously artist went with photorealistic style but missed the mark... While the girls fit a genetic template their faces don't look/described too similar... I think the art style needs to go back a little into the previous one, which would help smooth some of the jarring real but clearly fake faces...

Forbsey

The artist definitely has a different style than the nude Alyssa fools gold art.

Anonymous

Lol seems we posted almost at the same time with similar thoughts.. glad to see not the only one

Anonymous

I prefer the fools gold artist. This one definitely falls into the uncanny vallly.

David Shmilowitz

the Alyssa one looks good, but the other 3 need serious work, especially jade. They don't reflect looks/personalities as described in earlier chapters, and jade reminds me of someone covered in green bodypaint, not an actual green alien. The earlier art styles, such as Alyssa in paragon armor or the maliri twins on valaden would work much better.

ItWasn7Me

Calara's face reminds me of overly attached girlfriend

Anonymous

To be honest there is something about their faces that bugs me.

Anonymous

Fantastic, I think the artist captured the flamboyance of that award ceremony, and the way Alyssa and the girls embraced it in a showgirl style. Faces are great, uniforms close enough, and the setting about as I imagined it. Cheers Tefler!

Anonymous

I think they all look older, late twenties, than their given ages; Alyssa especially.

Anonymous

when you download the image and zoom in further their individuality becomes more clear beter visible, I personaly like the alyssa on the fools gold artist better aswel

Tefler

The artist is the same guy as the Fool's gold one. I think he just struggled to find good images to use for this one.

Steven Allen

Calara's salute looks higher than the other girls. Military generally does not salute without headgear on. In the Army the only time we salute with headgear on indoors is at NJP.

Anonymous

Faces are the only thing unique about them, but not by much. Uniforms, background, all that looks good. But that isn't art - it's cut and paste. Good start, but needs more work.

Anonymous

Unfortunately, I think this one flopped a bit. Two points for the try, though. I think having this picture live up to what a lot of us were hoping for was going to be pretty tough, to say the least.

Anonymous

Calara image is shorter then the other girls and Dana's and Jades image are copies of each other. IMHO i would have the artist make Calara slightly taller, fix her salute to closer to the eyebrow and change the hair styles to increase the idea of individuality between the other girls.

Anonymous

I'm a bit worried that the symbol in the background is a very close match for the Jedi Academy symbol. I love your writing but the sameness of the faces bugs me a bit and for me this one is a bit of a flop as well. Sorry.

Anonymous

Calara face needs to be slimed down some. Background is great, Uniforms are good, Girls' need some work and salutes and arms need rework.

Kim Biel-Nielsen

To much cut and paste. Looks unnatural - should be different but similar

Evan

Is it my imagination or do the girls in the image not all have the same body structure and height? Shouldn’t they?

palisade

I so WANT to love this but it's not great. 😔 The picture of Alyssa on the Fools gold is really great. This one looks like the artist did Alyssa first (her face looks the most natural, really good actually), then just cut and pasted her image twice and then changed the face twice and the skin color for Jade. Jade's face looks pretty good but Dana's face looks kind of "pinched", almost like she's faking her smile. Calara's image looking slightly different draws attention to the fact that the other three are cut and paste (even down to the hands on hip and the wrinkles in their uniforms) Calara does look like her body is slighter shorter and dumpier but I'm pretty sure that is because of the uniform. The other girls uniforms are designed to be flattering while Calara's military uniform is not.

Anonymous

Was about to feel bad about hating on this one,but saw the other comments, and no longer feel bad about hating this one. Calara if the only unique one in the photo as far as i can tell. The others all have copy/paste obvious. Neck down is direct copy paste. Hands, dana/jades face/hair. And good god, did he just use danas image for jade and play with RGB settings? She looks like a green zombie. Please please please do not use this for any ebook cover. I dont think I could live with that image in the carousel on my tablet.

Koa

I agree with others, comes close but falls short of the expectation, a little creepy even. Also the hairstyles is exactly the same! Please consider having artist rework it a bit before you use it as cover art!

Anonymous

Have to say I agree with the people saying over all it’s ok, but it’s like creepy cookie cutterish, also jade is described as emerald green, looks way to dark although I think her hair is roughly what I expected color wise.

Tefler

Actually, only Jade's eyes are emerald green. Her skin is dark-green and her hair nearly black. :-)

Anonymous

I understand the same height and body size is courtesy of the genetic template. Their faces make them look like clones. They have the lost their individuality.

Anonymous

Very lazy artwork. Just cut and paste with colour filters used. I know they are supposed to have the same genetic makeup but their faces and hands would still look different just as the Maliri look different from each other.

Anonymous

Nice conception, poor execution. The creepiness of the image observed already has several origins. First, the poses of the girls (from neck down) are not just similar but identical. Secondly the faces and facial expressions are almost identical. Thirdly, Jade's skin tones are awful. Fourthly, Calara would not be seen dead in such an unflattering outfit. Fifthly, the composition is poor, with the girls appearing entirely in the bottom half of the frame, ignoring completely (and unredeemingly) the rule of thirds. The girls have quite different personalities due to their origins, Calara being military stock, Dana being rebellious, and Jade being ancient. This is completely lost in the image.

Anonymous

Perfectly placed lapel buttons

Anonymous

agreed. I can understand if Tef only dropped like $100 bucks on a Digital Artist, because this is about 2 hours worth of copy/paste/layer/masking work. Don't get me wrong, the background and the "Propaganda poster pose" fits the narrative, it's just a little lazy on the "Art" end.

Anonymous

Stiletto heels on the boots would be more in keeping with what you have described throughout story. The noise you described of them coming toward John can only be made by stilettos. Carla's salute is not in keeping with her military training as a previous comment has stated.

Anonymous

I also agree with John Jameson and Joshua McDonald's comments. Jade's skin color is way to dark.

Anonymous

Also, the girls look like they only have, at best, b cups instead of the "D's"

Anonymous

My opinion is that for some reason I always pictured Jade as Hulk green/ grass green/ verdent green.

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

I have a feeling some of us are being a bit too critical. Jade's skin color is exactly what Tefler envisioned or he would have had it changed....think about that and the implications there my friends. This is not an art show or class where we are invited to critique an artist. This is Tefler's vision you are attacking...with a bit too much vigor IMHO. Now a suggestion here or there is one thing...but some of you still are not listening::::::::TEFLER TAKES THIS TO HEART! While this epic and all things related are dear to us who have immersed ourselves in this great story: This is Tefler's child. All I am asking is to show some restraint, some support. Speak also of what you like rather than just chop away at what you don''t. Tefler does not need the Negativity right now. HELLO!!!!!

Anonymous

I like the image. Its not my favourite of the commissions done so far but that's just me. I agree some of comments have been very critical. My only critique was the lack of individuality in the girls faces. A lack of personal identity. I've no idea how much a commission costs though i imagine its not easy to create something from nothing.

Evan

John, I agree with you about being too harsh in terms of criticism, but it is important to provide a critique when it is posted up here for that purpose. For example, after further review, I've decided - as others have mentioned - that I don't like the wrinkles. However, it's not simply that I don't like them. I don't think that they fit into the story regarding the descriptions of Alyssa's flawlessly designed outfits, or Calara's uniform that would have been worn to such an important ceremony. That deep crease in Calara's uniform below her left breast should simply not be there if her uniform has been properly tailored, as was indicated was the case., nor should the wrinkles in the arms and legs of the various outfits on the girls. At least, this is my opinion based upon my reading of the descriptions. So, to be helpful in my critique, I'd recommend that the artist simply smooth all of the wrinkles over, blending it in so that they have a sleeker, non-wrinkled appearance, including where the pants tuck into the boots. I also still think that it looks like Calara is shorter than the others, which shouldn't be the case based upon Tefler's superb writing, since all the girls (other than Jade) have been remade in the same template, and Jade set herself into that as well. They should only differ, if I"m not mistaken, in terms of skin color, hair color, eye color, and facial features. Their bodies should all be identical in form, no? However, let me add one more thing. I can't draw a straight line with a computer, so the artist who did this work has my sincerest admiration for being able to do such at all! I'm certainly no artist, and laying no claim to being even a poor art critic! I'm just describing my own reactions to comparing the image to the scene as described.

Anonymous

This is a good piece of art work. Actually it’s a really good piece of art. It perfectly depicts a very memorable scene from the story. Which, of course is the intent. 99% of us here on Patreon could have taken one look at the picture, named all the girls and what scene it is. There fore the artwork has done its job very well. As far as what we as individuals think of the girls appearance really doesn’t matter. The girls appearance is so fundamental and such a cornerstone to the story line. That every single person who has read the story has spent hours envisioning how they each look. All of us have built they perfect image in our minds eye to fit what we each think. It wouldn’t be impossible for one single image to satisfy and match thousands of people’s idea of how they think it should be. What we think does not matter this is Tefler vision, and if the artist capture Tefler vision. Then who are we to say different. Everyone who reads the story is welcome to come away with their own conclusions. But no one has the ground to stand on and tell Tefler that his vision is incorrect.

Anonymous

Based upon the descriptions in Tefler's writing the faces are the only area i would take a second look at. Im not an artist or even a critique and i know I would never be able to get close to the talent of this artist or the others whom Tefler has used even if i practised everyday for the next century i would fail. A lot of the arguments remind of the arguments that come before the release of some big comic book movie or everything that happened with the The Last Jedi. Everyone has been so invested in the characters that they dont like change. Sometimes i think they have a valid argument other times i think their moaning for the sake of it. As MJHSharkbait 365 just said we can tell who everyone is in the picture so it serves its purpose. Criticism/critique is a fine line in my opinion. Its not going to stop me supporting Tefler and continuing to be captivated for every chapter he releases.

Anonymous

Because it works for Tefler. It works for me. He is the creator of the story and is directing the artist he hires. Full Stop.

Anonymous

While I agree with others that the cookie-cutter makeup of the girls is a bit off putting (moreso for the reason that despite them being "thralls", they are full individuals with an abundance of character, wit, and charm. So seeing them with the same poses, smiles, hands, etc. goes against the themes of the story), I also wanted to say something about the picture that I think the artist absolutely got right. The picture really nails the youthfulness of Calara, Alyssa, and Dana, while giving Jade a slightly more mature look (despite transforming herself with many of Alyssa's characteristics). I think it's not easy to get that part right, so great job! I hope that the artist and Tefler can sort through the criticisms and critiques to hone their crafts and be even better. I'm just pleased because I know that this means we're one step closer to character portraits, and I can't wait to see the artist give each girl the time and craft she deserves. Thanks for all you do Tefler! :D

palisade

For what it's worth, even though I stand by the observations I made earlier the reason I care enough to comment at all (I rarely comment about ANYTHING) is because I love this story so much and have developed an emotional attachment to the characters. TSM is one of my favorite stories ever and one of only four that I pay for as opposed to waiting for the free version. It's not a terrible picture. It is even a good picture. I guess I just wanted it to be as good of a picture as TSM is a story. I freely admit that I can't write OR draw. We all have a picture in our heads of what each of the girls looks like. I knew when I eventually saw a rendering of each of them it would be different than the one in my head. That's OK. Tefler after all is the final arbiter of his own creation. I do hope one day to see each of the girls rendered in a more freehand/less cut-and-pasty kind of way.

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

I have actually looked up the color spectrum of Jade. I put a picture on the community section. As you can see, Jade's coloring is spot on. Well, I cannot get it to post. Here is the URL: <a href="https://www.gia.edu/gems-gemology/gemological-characteristics-coated-jadeite-jade" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">https://www.gia.edu/gems-gemology/gemological-characteristics-coated-jadeite-jade</a> and check the Jade in the rough photos about 3/5ths of the way down...center pic. <a href="http://www.minerals.net/gemstone/jade_gemstone.aspx" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">http://www.minerals.net/gemstone/jade_gemstone.aspx</a>

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

And taking a risk of being an apologist, which I couldn't care less, if you blow up their faces you see the faces have distinct differences, the hair is distinct, placement of the hands is distinct, and the neck lengths are distinct...As for body shapes...those are supposed to be the exact same per the story.

Hinterlands Man

Hmm. The wall bothers me. I imagined them on a stage, darkness and crowds and spotlights all around, perhaps with a T-fed logo on a Jumbotron or closeups of their faces or John up on screen. Jade being a hue-adjusted version of Dana bothers me too — I forget but doesn’t she have her own unique features? Anyway it’s fine and it’s freaking impossible to work with some folks on commission, they always get it wrong or don’t care to put any artistry into it. Sigh.

Jedi Khan

While I can certainly appreciate the time and effort both Tefler and the artist have put into this, I just have to say that it seems the artist may have cut some corners. The girls just seem to be a bit...off, and judging from the comments, others have noticed it as well. It seems like the artist cut-paste photos of at least two women, mainly for their faces, body, and poses, then did art around them, rather than actually drawing them. When it comes to non-photographic art, incorporating a photo, even just as background or small features such as faces or hands, simply doesn't work. To me, when I see a photo incorporated into non-photo art, it seems almost as if the artist got lazy and didn't want to make the effort of actually drawing what the photo was used for. I've seen this in anime before, and it's fairly obvious every time, sometimes jarringly so depending on how much of a photograph was used. The reason why the use of a photo in non-photo art stands out so much is because a photo is real and art is not. A photo has depth and details that art can't easily duplicate, if at all. Just to be clear, despite everything I've said here, I've got nothing against the artist. It takes a level of skill and effort that I don't have to do what they do, it's just that their style and method is not my preferred choice for art. If I had to choose, I'd have stuck with the artist who did Irillith and Tashana, as that looks more hand drawn than this one does. Of course, the only way to know for sure is to have both artists do the exact same scene and then compare. So, in summary: this is a good piece, just not the best execution in my opinion.

Jedi Khan

This is probably the photo-op after the ceremony, hence the wall rather a stage with crowds, lights, etc.

Anonymous

it's the finger on their hips...having them all identical for Alyssa, Dana and Jade is just wrong. Clara is the only one who doesn't match the others, and that just...smells wrong.

Anonymous

Also, and even worse, Calara's salute is wrong - and the other 3 girls are (at least more) right! That would be backwards, given that Calara is the only one of that group who actually IS a military officer and was therefore trained in the niceties of military decorum (like saluting).

Anonymous

well... the body position for a military-style salute is kinda wrong too.

Kim Biel-Nielsen

This is difficult - I like the picture - but some details are wrong. The Alyssa, Dana and Jade are very obviously copy pasted. Indentical fingers, creases and foot position. They are all the same body template so Calara should grow slightly, The finger position with identical spread fingers does not work. Calaras hand would be a better template as the position is more natural. Once you start realizing that they are copy pasted you note the identical creases - but it is the fingers and feet which gives it away.

Anonymous

Hellooooo ..... Please read, learn, and inwardly digest JFL’s main comment further up this thread. Time to get onto another topic guys. Also, please recognise that the passion you feel is due to how deeply enmeshed we are in the characters in this wonderful creation of Tefler’s. It’s a tribute to his genius.......

Kim Biel-Nielsen

The picture of Alyssa in Fools Gold was beautiful, captured the mood and emotion - there were a few complaints about a dirty and worn look - but it was a very good illustration. This one is quite good - but in my humble opinion to much copy paste. It just needs a little more love to make it so much better.

Anonymous

Those that have made the comment on how the salutes look as well as the stance while saluting. Calara's salute is the furthest from the one used in the US military. On the other hand, Calara might be showing the true TFed salute, and that might be one of the positions used while saluting in the TFed.

Anonymous

That's really good. Love it.

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

Actually, I see the salutes more along the line of the 50's poster where the very playful woman is saluting with a big smile on her face. This was not a salute to an officer, this was a playful salute to a camera for the public to enjoy. See pic on Community tab.

arbi

Personally I haven't liked any of the artwork, for much the same reason that I've never liked any movie made of a great book that I've read over the years. A truly great writer, and Tefler is definitely in this category, creates a mental world for us that we fill in with our imaginations. How can anyone else's image of this world compete? It can't. If I may use comic books as an example, when you start reading a series you immediately see what the characters look like and your mind accepts it. Ok, that's what Spider-Man looks like, awesome! But that's not what happened here. Tefler introduced us to the characters, described them, made us passionate about them and so forth, as only a virtuoso author can. As we read we all formed our own mental images. I'm sure none of us have exactly the same images in our minds. So now it's tough for us to accept images that don't quite jive with our existing ones. This won't be a problem for new readers because they'll get to see what everyone looks like as they go along. Sorry to be so verbose, I only hope Tefler doesn't take offense at our criticisms. It's actually an unavoidable outcome of his skills as a writer. Tefler, I've been a lifelong reader and I'm in my 60's. This is one of the greatest stories I've ever read. Thank you so much!

Anonymous

The hand position is killing me. I can’t not look at it, it’s like a train wreck happening.

Anonymous

Love the idea, but not liking the cookie cutter look. Each girl may be the same body type, but each has a different face and projected uniqueness, and that should to be reflected. They are not clones or twins (except for the blue babes). I don't think Alyssa could just change her hair color and wham she would look like Dana or Rachel.

Anonymous

Faces look awfully similar and Calaras looks like it was photoshopped :(

Anonymous

One idea is make it more 3d. They are all at the same angle rather than slightly different looking at the same point.

Anonymous

Speaking of E- books. Is book 3 about ready to be released. Love re-reading the early chapters in ebook

Trimtab

For character and alien development, why attempt photo realism? It's hugely expensive to do well, and too easy to do poorly. Consider shifting to shaded line art and work with one of the very talented illustrators already focused on erotic themes that are similar to those found in your stories.

Anonymous

At the moment they look like copy-and-paste of each other, same leg pose, same arm pose, slightly different skin tone but same pose, almost same faces, even wrinkles in the uniforms identical.

Anonymous

Calara looks different but the other 3 look like colour washes on the same 3D model. Totally unconvincing. Even the shadows and reflections are identical. 3/10

Wardonis

Where's Rachel?

Tefler

Rachel was in a dress and keeping a low profile. This was before she became a full member of the crew.

Amathew2

I have seen where a lot of people are saying this looks way to "cookie cutter," I think they are forgetting that Alyssa is telepathic and was probably telling the other girls exactly what pose they should be in for this picture. The artist did a good job and I think their uniform look suits the situation very well.