Technomagica 53. Regrets (Patreon)

[Kliss Eliza Cessna]

I haven’t properly slept in days. I was losing it completely, losing myself to stress, losing hours and days as I stalked Skyisle like a red-caped shadow, following two bewildering aberrations one or perhaps both of which wielded bewildering non-magical knowledge from another world.

I’ve learned much from Dante… or perhaps Slava, and yet there was still so much more that I did not understand. Slava taught and showed me things that I had considered impossible, opened my eyes to the dangerous possibility of everything that I knew being wrong.

He wasn’t an aberration that ate people’s souls, no… he was far more dangerous. Slava somehow dismantled me, piece by piece with his words and actions. He wasn’t afraid to talk to ghosts or Gods. His mission to hunt the divine seemed mad and yet he spoke of it with such fervour that even the Goddess of the Hunt listened and accepted his quest as the truth!

It took me far too long to grasp the truth, to realize it… but there was no justice, no Equality in this world. I had allowed the Overseer's Vow to rule me, to guide me as I closed my eyes instead of thinking or acting for myself.

The manifestation of the Overseer’s Vow loomed over me, holding the strings to my soul in his hands. The illusory legionnaire wanted me to kill the Alans, to come clean, to call the Inquisitor and to confess my sins. If I did, the Inquisitor would come sooner with a squadron of legionnaires. He would either immediately execute me for my failures or take me to Cessna for a Tribunal where my crimes would be judged. The end result would be the same if not worse as the Equality priests had ways of making the sinners suffer a fate worse than death.

“I won’t let you lead me anymore,” I told the Overseer’s Vow. “I’m not afraid of you.”

The faceless legionnaire tilted his head to the right in misapprehension.

“Hold him,” I said to my other Vow.

The manifestation of the Vow of Friendship, shaped like Giovashi spun around the legionnaire like a cloud of brilliant, violet fire. It set the other Vow alight. My Angel screamed silently, fighting with the cloud-shaped vow, dropping the strings that had once held me like a marionette.

I ignored the pain in my soul, wincing as the Soul-Song sang about falling numbers.

Step by step, I walked across the forest to house number 117 on Longwoods Road.

It was early morning and Slava was sleeping in his tent, but my skill told me that something… magical and very dangerous was following me. Perhaps it was even Slava himself or Delta, watching over me as an Astral Phantom.

I wasn’t sure and it didn’t matter. My time was running out and I had to make amends, felt like I had to do something.

I sighed and looked at the woodworking workshop that stood atop the river. The tracker markers linked to my armacus told me that Georgi was there. I walked across the little wooden bridge that connected the workshop to the path and knocked on the door.

“Yes?” The sawdust covered face of Georgi Alan Agamemnon emerged from within. He saw me and froze.

“Overseer?” His eyes became two thin slits. His muscles tensed up. There was a wood-carving steel blade in his hands. He was strong and agile. I knew that with a single swing he could cut my neck open.

The Overseer’s Vow demanded I aim the armacus at him, to shoot him before he attacks me. My hands twitched, but did not move. The Vow were fighting each other.

“What do you want of me, Redcape?” Georgi growled.

“I… came to apologize,” I said. “For everything I’ve done.”

“What have you done?” He asked, still holding the knife.

The pain in my soul became unbearable. My arm tried to arm the armacus on its own.

“P-please put the knife away,” I hissed. “I can’t hold back the Overseer’s Vow f-forever. I d-don’t want to hurt you, damn it.”

“Ah,” he looked down at the knife he was holding. “Right.”

The carpenter stepped back and placed the knife on the shelf. He dusted himself off and emerged onto the sunlit bridge. “Happy?”

I nodded. “L-lets go into the y-our house.”

. . .

“Well?” He asked as I sat down on a couch in the living room of the Alans.

“I… I imprisoned you in your own house,” I said, wincing as his knuckles whitened. “It was wrong. None of this was your fault.”

“Uh-huh?”

“I’m the Overseer of Skyisle,” I muttered. “It’s my job…”

“Do cut the chit-chat, Overseer, what do you want from me?” He pressed.

“I want to leave Skyisle,” I confessed. “I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to be an Overseer. I want to see… my parents.”

I gasped, folding inward, nearly falling into darkness as my heart stopped momentarily.

[-1 in Soul]

The Soul-Song resounded.

“So leave!” He declared.

“I c-can’t,” I whimpered, unable to hold back the tears running down my face. I felt that my insides were being sliced with a thousand fiery strings.

“Why not?” He asked and then he noticed my distraught expression. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Arch-Priest Giovashi forced me into a Vow to be your friend!” I cried. “It’s in conflict with my Vow as the Overseer!”

“Ah,” Georgi paused, thinking over my declaration. “Is that why you’re apologising?”

“No,” I said. “I simply wanted to talk to someone… I don’t know what to do.”

“What to do about what?” He asked.

“Everything,” I exhaled. “I… I’m dying. The two Vows are tearing my soul apart.”

“How is this our problem?”

“You… you need to leave… to hide.”

“Why?”

“An Imperial Inquisitor is coming to check up on me,” I said. “He suspects that something is wrong with me. He is likely to find out that there’s a Vow on me to protect your family. When he discovers it, he will execute all of you for collaborating with an Ishira Priestess and tampering with an Overseer.”

“Oh,” the carpenter stilled, his face growing pale. “That’s not good.”

I nodded. “We need to leave as soon as possible. Once we reach Agamemnon I’ll go into the Imperial tower and declare that I’m unfit to serve as Overseer and…”

I realized that I couldn't declare that I was unfit, couldn't even quit properly because the Priest would see that I had another Vow on me!

“We can’t leave Skyisle,” Georgi shook his head.

“Why not?” I growled. “Do you not understand the danger you’re in?!”

“Cass has a Vow on her, a promise that she’s made to her… parents,” he replied. “She can’t leave Skyisle.”

My heart felt like it wanted to rip its way out of my chest. “Damn it all,” I hissed. “Damned Vows!”

Georgi nodded. I wasn’t sure that he understood.

“C-can I stay here until Dante arrives home?” I asked. “I… honestly… I don't know what to do. Maybe he can figure something out. I’m so tired. I haven’t rested once for a month. I just want to be done, to be done with all of this, with Skyisle, with my job as Overseer… with the Empire.”

[-2 in Soul]

Both of the Vows struck me at once in that instance.

I screamed in pain and desperation, gasping for breath as my organs and bones ignited, as my nerves caught fire from within.

I fell onto the couch, folded in on myself, twitching, fighting the all-consuming pain.

My finger tapped the armacus, casting [Soul-repair] on myself again and again, the bracelet keeping me barely alive, barely conscious.

I didn’t want to be a killer. I didn’t want to be a tool, a puppet, a little gear that held up the vast machinery of Imperial might in this god-forsaken valley.

If I died now I wouldn't go into the eternal embrace of Equality, wouldn't enter the heaven she offered. I had resisted killing two aberrations, fought with her Vow and would likely be cast into the endless darkness for my sins or have my soul torn asunder as the Goddess of the Hunt told me.

I long suspected that the heaven Equality offered us all was false. As false as the Vows that controlled people, putting fake smiles on the faces of servants of the Empire.

I had sacrificed my love for my parents, gave up my love of the Ocean for nothing.