Technomagica 2 : 50 Vulfix Arcanicx (Patreon)

Kliss’s growl resounded in my head via our dragon-kobold connection.

[What?] I asked over our metal link.

[I don’t trust whatever she is,] Kliss said. 

[Whatever she is, is incredible,] I shot back. [I’ve never seen anything like her. She’s…]

[Not human,] Kliss stated. 

[Well, obviously,] I replied.

[Slava, what is this?] Kliss demanded. [First you give me a gold ring and now you’re obsessing over the first girl you…]

[Her uh-human-ness is honestly the least impressive thing about her,] I tried to explain.

[Say what?] Kliss snarled even louder.

[This cart we’re riding on is level 411,] I revealed.

[WHAT?!] Kliss yelped, nearly falling off from her seat.

[Yeah,] I replied. [Exactly.]

[But that’s just not… not possible!] Kliss sputtered mentally, sniffing the air. [How can a wooden cart be that high level?!]

[Don’t know,] I shrugged mentally. [That’s what I’m trying to figure out while we're riding on it. I wouldn't ask her for a ride to the city otherwise.]

[You’re sure…? It’s Level Four Hundred and Eleven?] Kliss bristled.

“Neat, right?” Ciaori interpreted my silence. “I’ve got a breed of lovely fluffy kitten-owls from Stormfall that can do the same thing.”

“Same thing?” I returned to the conversation as Kliss sent me wild glares.

“Chromashift,” Ciaori nodded, as her fur returned to orange-gold color.

I watched as Ciaori's keen, slitted eyes darted between Kliss and me, a mischievous grin spreading across her face.

"Oh my," she chuckled, her tail swishing playfully, interpreting Kliss’s silence and expression. "Don't worry, sweetheart, I'm not trying to steal your man. Just showing off a bit!"

Kliss’s grip on my arm tightening like a steel vice. "I-I'm not jealous," she protested. "I'm just... stressed about meeting… my fiancee’s grandparents for the first time, that's all."

Ciaori winked at her. "Sure, sure. It's alright, honey. I'd be protective too if I had such a cute fiance. He's quite the inquisitive one, isn't he?"

I felt Kliss press closer to me. "He is," she mumbled, avoiding Ciaori's gaze, staring at the cart and drooling ever so slightly. 

[We have to steal this cart,] Kliss suddenly declared.

[What?] It was my turn to be surprised.

[Knock her out and steal her cart,] Kliss insisted. [It’s the only way.]

[The only way to what?!] 

"Well, aren't you two just adorable," Ciaori cooed, eyeing the gold ring on Kliss’s finger. "How long have you been engaged? Must be recent, you've still got that newlywed glow about you."

"A week," I replied, trying to focus on two conversations at once.

[The only way to add this treasure to my hoard,] was the reply of the dragon girl.

"A week! How romantic," Ciaori gushed. "Let me guess - moonlit proposal? Candlelit dinner? Ooh, or maybe a love declaration atop a mountain with a breathtaking view? An engagement by the falls?"

[I want this cart. Help make it mine or get out of the way.]

"Uh, yes. It was very breathtaking," I mumbled, distracted by Kliss's increasingly insistent mental demands.

[We can't just steal her cart!] I protested internally, watching as dragonfire began to spark along the edges of Kliss’s fingernails, peeling off the makeup.

[Why not?] Kliss shot back. [It's right here. We're on it. She's just one foxgirl. I could easily overpower her. Just one bonk of dragonfist on the head.]

[What would we even do with a magic cart? Where would we put it? How would we even get it back to Skyisle?!] I tried to be the voice of reason.

[Add it to my hoard, obviously,] Kliss replied, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. [It’ll probably fit into the skyship that we’re going to steal from Inquisitor Jubz.]

Meanwhile, Ciaori was regaling us with tales of her own romantic exploits. "...and then I said, 'Honey, if you wanted to see my tail wag, all you had to do was ask!'" She burst into giggles. 

I forced a smile, trying to stay engaged in both conversations. "That's... quite the tale."

[Probably?!] I shouted back.

[I’ll make it fit. With my fists. I want it. I need it in my life.]

[Not right now,] I argued, somehow finding myself on the opposite site of where our conversation began earlier. [We're here on a mission, remember? To save Skyisle?]

[We can save Skyisle harder with this in my hoard!]

[Okay, that may technically be true… but…]

[But what?] 

[Stop casting dragonfire! You’re peeling off all of the makeup, damn it! We’re almost at the gate, we can’t fight all of these guards off. Focus! We need to get into Agamemnon, remember? Maybe she has more shiny things in her shop!] I tried to derail the draconic desires to claim everything of value inside of Kliss. [If you want to steal this cart, let's make friends with the merchant first, learn what else she has and…]

[Fine,] Kliss. [I will wait. Then I will take what I want.]

I mentally facepalmed.

Ciaori's voice cut through our mental debate. "Oh, you two are so quiet! Don't tell me you're having one of those newlywed telepathic conversations?" She waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"What? No!" Kliss and I exclaimed simultaneously, perhaps a bit too quickly.

Ciaori's grin widened. "Suuure you weren't. Don't worry, your secrets are safe with me. I know all about young love and its... special connections."

I felt my face heat up as Kliss buried her face in my shoulder, whether from embarrassment or to hide her murderously cart-hungry draconic expression, I wasn't sure.

As we approached the massive gates of Agamemnon, I found myself caught between Kliss's draconic urges and Ciaori's relentless chatter. The foxgirl had moved on from romance to regaling us with tales of her most exotic creatures.

"...and that's how I ended up with a three-headed mini-flamingo that breathes ice!" Ciaori concluded with a flourish.

Before I could comment, we were halted by a stern-looking guard at the city gates. His gold-plated armor gleamed in the sunlight as he eyed us suspiciously.

"Halt! State your business in Agamemnon," he demanded, his gaze sweeping over our little group.

I opened my mouth to speak, but Ciaori beat me to it.

"Oh, hello there, handsome!" she chirped, her tail swishing playfully. "Just bringing in some new stock for my shop. Oh, and giving these two lovebirds a ride." She winked at Kliss and me.

The guard's eyes narrowed. "And who are these two? I don't recognize them. State your name, boy."

I cleared my throat. "I'm Ssss… Dante Alan Skyisle."

Ciaori squinted at me. I swallowed.

Damn it! I introduced myself to her as Slava earlier!

A massive truth rune was etched in gold on both sides of the gate ignited into existence, suddenly pressing against us. It radiated so much magic that my Infoscopes simply fell apart.

“Purpose of visit to Agamemnon?” The Guard asked. 

“Stealing an imperial skyship,” my mouth nearly answered.

Time slowed to a crawl as I reformed my Infoscopes inside of my body, trying to fight the magical waves pouring from the gate best I could. I was only able to oppose the truth runes ever so slightly.

“Showing my dragon girl… to my grandparents,” my lips answered.

“Dragon girl, huh?” The Guard eyed Kliss.

“Isn’t she the prettiest thing you’ve seen?” I asked, trying to fight my own tongue. “She has quite the temper though! Been trying to bug me all the way on the road about how incredible this… merchant’s cart is!”

“And your name, girl?” the guard stared at Kliss.

A wave of positive-magic ignited around Kliss in the Astral.

“Elly,” she said simply. “Do excuse my fiance. He’s a tad excited to introduce me to his grandparents.”

"Grandparents, eh?" The guard looked skeptical. "Names?"

"Jundaria Hellenia Agamemnon and Lem Hellen Agamemnon," Kliss replied while I struggled not to break out into a waterfall of truth about all of our planned crimes.

The guard's eyebrows shot up. "The Hellens, eh?" He turned to his colleague. "Check the registry for any expected visitors to the Hellen household."

As the other guard flipped through a large book, I felt Kliss shift nervously beside me. 

[Stay calm,] I mentally urged her as I finally overpowered the Truth radiance beating magical nails into my head. [No dragonfire.]

[I'm not going to catch fire,] she replied. [But if they don't let us in soon, I'm going to eat this cart.]

[Not right now, damn it!]

[I can’t help it. I have tasted the cart and it calls to my dragonheart.]

[You tasted the cart? When?]

[When you two were looking at the guards and the guards were looking in the book, I snipped a small piece off with my claws and I ate it.]

[Damn it Kliss!] I shot in exasperation. [You can’t just eat people’s carts while we’re being interviewed to get into the city!]

[It was the most delicious thing I’ve tasted,] the dragon girl replied. [I want more.]

Before I could process that alarming statement, the second guard spoke up. "No record of any expected visitors for the Hellens, sir."

The first guard turned back to us, his hand moving to rest on the hilt of his sword. "Well now, that's interesting. Care to explain?"

“I… I guess maybe grandma forgot to register our arrival with the City Watch,” I stammered. “I sent them a message that we were coming two days ago via voicecast. I was going to call earlier, but I wanted to surprise them.”

Ciaori suddenly came to my rescue.

"Oh, come now!" she exclaimed, leaning forward with a conspiratorial wink. "Haven't you ever wanted to surprise your grandparents? These two are clearly in love! It's spontaneous and romantic!"

The guard looked unconvinced. "Be that as it may, we can't just let anyone into the city without proper—"

"I'll vouch for them," Ciaori interrupted, her voice suddenly serious. "You know me, Watchman Thorach. I've been bringing my wares through these gates for years. Come on, work with me here, Thorach, I am super close to selling these two a lovely rare kitten-owl familiar from my shop!"

“Hrmmm,” the guard nodded, his face slacking. “Fine. If they commit any and I mean ANY crimes in the city, I will bill your shop for it, Miss Sestii.”

“Fair enough,” the Vulfix nodded. “Let us through already please.”

The Watchman tapped one of the runestones and the gate in front of us slid open. Ciaori swung the reins and her rainbow-dinosaur pulled the cart forward.

“Dante, hrmmm?” She grinned at me as the cart turned a corner and the gate vanished behind us. “How much do dragons go for these days?”

I swallowed.