Requited Change Mini Update (Patreon)

Hey all,

I'm in a bad way, I'm not making any excuses, I'm terrible.

The illness last week pushed me back a bit, but I thought I'd be able to get the promised 30-40 pages out.

I've unplugged the internet, kept away from video games, books, and any source of distraction or procrastination and I've had the worst writer's block. I've had days where I got one page done, then two, then back to one.

I feel... as though I'm not coping with things well since Cherelle died, in fact, I'm downright depressed at the moment, and it's apparent that it's affecting my work.
Cherelle was the 'wild child' that got her life on track, a true inspiration and role model to me. We were fairly close when we were young but drifted apart as we got older and lived our own separate lives.

To show what an inspiration she was, her spirit lives on, immortalized as a fictional representation in one of the characters of RC, even prior to her death. She's Ken's aunt.

When Cherelle lost her battle with herself something changed in me, the one person that showed me that you can overcome your own demons and attain greatness in life through self-improvement and hard work suddenly perished at her demon's hands. I don't think she ever knew the lessons she taught me right up until the day she died. Now, I'm still unsure whether Cherelle was the whole reason for my mental breakdown or merely the final straw, but she was a major contributing factor and  I need to sort myself out, that much is certain.

Now onto the comic:

I don't feel as though the comic is witty, funny or sexy, which is the trifactor I try to aim for with some residual thought-provoking points and my patented depressing twists. I need to recapture that lighting in a bottle, but it eludes me.
Ultimately I feel my creativity lacking, and as though my intellect has substantially dipped of late. Seriously, I'm looking at fairly mundane ideas and thinking that they are earth-shattering. Common words are making me double-take too. It isn't good.

I'm putting this up as I want to be as clear as possible, even if it makes me lose money. I know the gravity of what this could do to my Patreon page, and even in the face of such financial consequence I'm choosing to tell you all this. In fact, I encourage you to leave, I wouldn't put up with this from any content creator, and I don't expect you to. My ethos is that a person should work hard for their pay, I don't expect sympathetic handouts. Though I pull on heartstrings through the genre of fiction, I don't like to in real life. This world doesn't owe anyone understanding, not even me.

Airing my laundry isn't what I really desire to do, but I thought it'd be some kind of catharsis for me, and you all deserve to know what is happening. Again, I hate sympathy and I'm not using Cherelle as an excuse, but my own brain. It's fucked, I need to get it under control again.

Therapy... is glacial unless I want to pay for it privately. I have had two sessions where nothing has been talked about or tackled other than some preliminary investigative probing. The third session that was meant to help me was cancelled due to the Queen's funeral and I've had to wait until the 3rd of October for the next session.

My situation is also beginning to affect my relationship with my Dad, we've had some very turbulent nights due to my deteriorating mental state. I don't want him to be dragged down by me either, I know it's getting on top of him.

So what am I doing now?

October is free.

I'm going to be doing my own things in Koikatsu, taking my time. I'm heading to the gym to buff up as I think exercise and time from the PC shall help me a great deal. Therapy shall trudge along, but those of you that stay with me I'll update as the month goes. I'm going to be finishing the Alraune story this next month and anything else shall be a bonus.

Thanks for your time, your support and sorry for the wall of text.