Chapter 465 - Guide Support (Patreon)

Hera's Status

##### Author's Note #####

There is a comment in this chapter about support groups. Those are only Hera's feelings about them at the moment. By no means do I agree with her thoughts and I believe that support groups can help a lot in various situations. 

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Hera stopped by the Guild to see if any training rooms were available for her. Unfortunately, the only ones with open slots would have her sharing the training rooms. She didn't like the idea of training with somebody else close by, not to mention that staying close to strangers made her feel uneasy. Ever since the attack, Hera had a feeling that people were staring at her wherever she was going. She knew that this was probably just her mind playing tricks, but it was hard to ignore something like that. Before returning to the hotel, she decided to go to her private room where she could be alone for a while and maybe talk to a couple of the guides. Another benefit was that she could take a bath and try to relax a little.

Inside her private room, Hera called all of her blades back out. During these past few weeks, she felt bad about leaving all of them stuck inside the legacy. She wasn't even sure if there was an inside. Maybe when they weren't outside, the blades simply didn't exist. Daskka told her it didn't make a difference for them, but she liked allowing her court to roam around freely. It became even more evident that this was a good idea when the weapons would not just look for comfortable places to be in but even watch TV alongside her. In a way, she never had to be alone again.

She was still inside the bathtub when the guide started replying to her messages. Capri was complaining about not being called, but the sheep was also worried about the explorer. It was the same with Laika, the space dog, Nina and Talpa, the Kobold sisters, and Jackie, the southern raccoon. Johnny told her that she had to relax and forget about the past. While Luna kept apologizing, she felt guilty about the situation, almost like what happened was her fault somehow. Lastly, there was a voice message from Peaches.

"Hey, kid. I don't think this will translate well via text. That's why the voice message. Listen, the MAZE is a dangerous place. There are no two ways about it. You can try to live your life being kind to everyone, but life won't be kind to you. Not always. I understand how upset you are. I still remember how you cried after killing the mad emperor inside a test. I can only imagine how bad you are feeling now that you actually killed someone for real. Don't expect me to sugarcoat it. You killed someone. You took a life. That's something that you have to carry with you until the end of your days," Peaches' voice changed from stern to soft, "But you can't let that break you. You need to find something, find some way to accept what happened. What's done is done. You can't change the past no matter how much you try to. Time travel skills or spells don't exist. You can do some time shenanigans but trust me, that's way above your pay grade, and they can only dilate time, never reverse it. Well... Technically, a few can reverse spells, but let me get back to the point. I've told you before that you are too soft. We can understand if that changes. Honestly, after all this, I would be worried if it didn't. I think you're in a moment in your life where you have to figure some things out. I've seen a lot of people, and I've talked to a lot of explorers. Trust me when I say that this does not define you. You are not a killer just because you have killed someone. But now, if you want to live with that, you will need to stop being so soft. I hope that doesn't change you very much. You are an amazing person, and it would be a shame to lose that, but if you don't change somehow, I don't think you're gonna have a very good, or long, future. Either way, I'm here for you whenever you need to talk. You know I can split myself pretty well, so don't worry about me being busy. The other guides are here too. I don't think anyone is gonna change how they feel about you just because of that. Maybe Luna. She's feeling very guilty about all that and trying to compensate everyone she can."

There was a small pause in the voice message, with some noise in the background. It seemed like someone had arrived at Peaches' house. After a few moments, he continued talking, "Sorry about that. Some people don't know the meaning of the word privacy. Either way, this is what I wanted to tell you. I'm here for you. We are here for you. Whatever you need, just call and for the love of the system, go to the support group that the detective told you about. I'm not a psychologist, I can try to help you, but I'm sure I won't be doing half as good of a job as someone who studied for that. Don't shut down and block everybody else off. You have friends and family. Lean on them. I'm serious. Also, you have to talk to us at least once a week. I don't care if you're just gonna send a message saying, 'hey, I'm still alive.' I wanna hear from you once a week, one way or another. If you're going to end up in a room where it's hard to get to a doorway, let me know, so we can at least know who to ask to keep tabs on you. That's basically it. I hope you're healthy because I know you're not OK, and if you need, just call."

Hera finished listening to the message and smiled. Even if she already had people who cared about her, there was something special about having a guide worrying this much and wishing her so much good. She also understood that he wasn't wrong. She was too soft, and she could feel this eating her away from the inside. Unless she changed something about herself, this might as well be her doom. For a moment, she considered this support group. However, staying in a room filled with people who were also feeling sorry about themselves and wanted to wallow in the pain of what they didn't actually sound like a good idea. If anything, she would feel much more uncomfortable than just talking to someone one-on-one.

As Hera continued to try to relax in the bathtub, an image flashed through her mind. The body of Vulmer Keller, bleeding out on the ground. That made her jolt up and splash some water on her face before washing the soap on her body and leaving the bathroom. She quickly put on her clothes and left her private room. She finally had an idea of what she could do to stop having those kinds of flashes. The problem was that she was too afraid of killing. Killing actual living beings and killing humanoid beings even in dungeons. She had to change that, and, sadly, she could only come up with a single idea. An awful idea, that she really didn't want to, but it didn't seem like there was another option. If she wanted to get rid of that fear, she would have to face it head-on. Hera grabbed her tablet to see if any dungeons in this room, called Southern Reef, had people as the enemies, but she got no luck. But it seemed like her luck would change soon. In the Charring Wastes, there was a dungeon that had people as one of the factions you could go against. To make things even better, there was a particular type of creature in this room that had a somewhat humanoid shape. Hunting them might prove to be a good initial step.

Just as she left her private room, Hera dismissed most of her court, leaving only Lurize and Daskka out. The two-handed sword will be on her back while the snake will be around her neck as usual. She was still going to fight with the glaive, but she realized that having Lurize on her back or just around her would help her understand how to fight better. It seems like the blade was a teacher, and it could show her some of her mistakes. It was a shame that it couldn't help her with actual combat styles, but having his aid for the basics of combat was still incredibly helpful.

Moving to the region of the room where those monsters lived, she felt confident. She was on the 9th layer, so the monsters should be around her level or a few levels higher, and since her target was supposed to be nocturnal, she would have an easy enough time to find them now. The sun had already set, and her abilities to hide would be even better in the dark.

Leaving the settlement located in the tallest part of the reef, she headed north to one of the known colonies of the Larianic Lobsters. When she got far enough away from any civilization, Daskka asked, "Are you going to call the court?"

"No. I wanna do this myself. But if needed, I have you and Lurize to help me."

"And what are we doing?"

Instead of explaining with words, Hera simply used their connection to pass along her feelings and how she intended to overcome her fears.

"That sounds like a bad idea."

"Maybe. But I have to do something. I can't take this anymore," Hera sighed and accidentally sent her frustration and fear of the situation to Daskka.

The snake took a moment to process all of that before nodding and touching her head with Hera's, "I understand, mum."

Hera snuggled with her adviser and kept moving. It didn't take long for her to find one of the lobsters. When she read about them she found out that those creatures were nocturnal, but she never expected them to beat this active. A few meters in front of her there was a lobster walking on two legs with large arms connected to two pairs of massive claws sprinting from side to side. In a way, it was almost like doing suicide runs that one would do on a basketball team.

Without saying a word, Hera flung a few poison needles at the target. She managed to hit two of them, and the poison started to spread. Instead of allowing the spell to kill the monster, she used her poison control spell to change how it behaved. She wanted it to be something that would weaken the monster and not kill it. She noticed how the amount of mana she used was considerably larger than she expected. This was all because Lurize was on her back. The blade would take her poison mana, making it harder for her to use poison herself. Before doing anything, Hera wanted to confirm if the monster didn't have any other surprises waiting for her. She triggered her [Observe] just as her ailment mastery notification popped up.

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Ailment Mastery triggered

Larianic Lobster ailment bonus effect xi
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Larianic Lobster - Level 25 - Poisoned - Weakened (Water affinity)
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It only took a few moments for the creature to start to look lethargic. Its movements became sluggish, and it seemed to be straining itself just running around. Hera waited for the lobster to get closer and turn around before striking. She covered her weapon with a pure mana reinforcement focusing on making the blade sharper than usual. With a dash, Hera jumped forward, holding her glaive with both hands, and pierced the monster's chest. Hera, Daskka, and Lurize were surprised by the attack's effectiveness. They expected the battle to last more than just a second. However, Hera confirmed that, yes, the monster was dead. When she pulled out the weapon from the carcass, she noticed that she seemed to have pierced the lobster's heart, even if she had aimed more towards the lower abdomen. She glanced down at the body, and for a moment, she could have sworn that it was the elf she had killed. Taking a step back and blinking, that image returned to what it was supposed to be. A giant monster lobster. Hera felt her stomach turning but pushed it down, refusing to get sick because of this. She placed her fist and wiped the gray blood from her blade before walking away, looking for another target.

For the next three hours or so, Hera kept hunting non-stop. Initially, she killed monsters as normal, but when it became clear that it wasn't working like she wanted, she forced herself to be more cruel. She would cut off their limbs and stare into their eyes while dealing the killing blow. Both Daskka and Lurize asked if she was OK after every kill, but Hera just replied that it was something she had to do. When she finally felt tired, Hera started walking back to the city. She had caused a lot of damage. At a glance she could count a trail of at least 100 corpses without counting the ones eaten by other monsters. Not wanting to waste materials and leave them to rot, she grabbed as many as she could and dragged them using Yarnball's thread as a rope to pull them along. Thinking that she might as well make some money, Hera stopped by the Guild carrying the bodies to see if she could sell them. It was 2:00 AM, yet someone was working the butcher's desk.

"Hi. Can you help me?" Hera asked with a deadpan expression.

"Hi. Sure, what do you need?" the butcher replied in a bored tone. It was obvious that he wasn't happy being on the midnight shift.

"I have these," Hera pointed back to the 10 lobster bodies that she was dragging behind her. She only took those she found to be in better condition. It was better to leave those that she had dismembered behind.

"Oh, so you are one of the reasons I have to work this late? Fine. Let's see what you have," the man stepped out of the desk and took a look at all the carcasses, "Heads up for next time. Try not to drag them on the ground. You damage their eyes and face, and there are some good materials there."

"I figured it was better than leaving them in the wild. It felt like a waste," Hera replied, still with that apathetic attitude.

"Couldn't you have asked your party to help to drag them along?"

"I was hunting alone."

"Damn… you are crazy," the man looked at the corpses again, "It's gonna take me a few hours to go through all these. Those things are big, and there are a lot of organs inside that I have to be careful with. Do you wanna wait, or do you want to come back later?"

"I'll come back later."

"OK, one moment," The butcher quickly typed a few things on the computer and then gave her a small piece of paper, "I've set this load as yours, and here is your receipt. You don't need to bring it here when you come back, but people feel more comfortable when you hand something to them."

Hera nodded, "Do you close, or are you open 24/7?"

"24/7. But there might be someone else when you come here. Don't worry. They'll take care of you."

"Thanks for the help. Have a good night," Hera replied before leaving the butcher to his work. Instead of going to the hotel, she decided to go to her private room again. It was late, and she didn't want to wake anyone up.

As she was walking, Daskka tapped Hera's cheek, "Are you OK? You look strange."

"I'm just tired. And doing all that wasn't fun," Hera sighed, "I just tried to suppress everything. I'll let you know if it's working tomorrow."

Hera arrived at her private room and took a quick shower before bed. She was much more tired than expected, and all she wanted now was a good night of rest. Unfortunately, her subconscious disagreed.