Chapter 257 - Grief (Patreon)

##### Author's Note #####

I think this deserves a reminder. There is nothing wrong with asking for help when things get too tough.
Stay safe and remember that you are never alone.

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It was a nice morning, as nice as it could be inside a cave. It wasn't exceedingly hot, and there weren't any commotions anywhere around. In a rare situation, even the markets were more or less quiet. Not that there wasn't anyone there, but people weren't yelling like normal. At least, not right now.

"Here is your coffee, your cappuccino, and your everything bagel. Do you want anything else?" the server asked.

"No, that's all for now. Thanks," Bonnie replied.

It's been seven months since Hera and Blue died. Seven months since their party crumbled and everything went down the drain. She tried to go back to her mother's place, but that didn't work. Staying close to her only reminded Bonnie of the lies and that she was the result of a business transaction that went wrong. To make things worse, she was helping her mom pay back her father for breaching the contract. She still had to get money, despite how she felt. All because of the sleazy lawyer that threw them under the bus to try to be in the good graces of a big law firm. It wasn't that much money, at least not considering what she could make now. But that happened less than a week after the kobold battlefield, and her mother was in tears after the hearing. Then came Helena's freak out, then Alex's. With that, there was no way for her to leave Brinefront, even if she wanted to.

Bonnie felt like she had to hold things together for everyone. Otherwise, people would just… fall apart.

Today was even worse. It was supposed to be Blue's 23rd birthday. No one said a thing, but she knew Alex and Helena were aware. Usually, she would just dive into some research about a spell or go hunting with a random party to take her mind off things. But today, Bonnie had to be around, just in case Alex or Helena got worse. She could be a mess herself, but her two friends were much worse.

"Hey, Bonnie! Sorry, were you waiting for long?" to her luck, Mark arrived, making her push away those thoughts. He was the only person she could talk to during these past months. Or at least, the only one who seemed to be together enough to have a proper conversation.

"I got here five minutes ago, and I already ordered your usual. I'm guessing you haven't eaten a thing today," Bonnie tried her best to smile.

"Thanks. Yeah, the forge is a bit nuts these days. After we started advertising the enchantment service, a lot of people began to stop by," Mark saw the cup of black coffee in front of her, "Are you not going to eat anything?"

Bonnie shook her head, "Not right now…. I'm not sure I'll be able to eat anything today."

"Why?..." Mark thought for a moment, "Shit, today is the 25th, right? It is… was Blue's birthday."

"Yeah… she would be 23 now."

"Same age as Hera," Mark sighed.

"Only for a month, Hera's birthday was coming up too," Bonnie smiled softly.

Mark couldn't remember when Hera's birthday was, but he wasn't going to ask about that, "And how are you holding up?"

"Holding up, yeah, that's a way to put it," Bonnie sighed, "Alex keeps vanishing for weeks at a time and comes back all beaten up. But, honestly, I don't know if it was better when she just locked herself in a room. At least I knew where she was. And Helena… I really don't understand her. She seemed to accept at first, but she felt so guilty. Then, she started with that 'they are still alive' thing, and I don't know what to do about it. I thought it was just a phase of grief, but it's been months!"

"I didn't ask about them, Bonnie. How are you holding up? I know you are trying to take care of everyone, but what about you?" Mark asked.

"I'm… I'm not ok. Ever since they… died, I felt like I couldn't stop and grief. First, I had to take care of Alex, then my mom, then Alex, and Helena. I mean, I know we knew each other for just a short amount of time, but it's not like just losing a classmate. I'm also seeing a shrink. The same one that Hera saw, by some sick joke of fate, and she says that we get more attached to people in our party. Since we have to trust them with our lives, the connections we have are much deeper than if they were just coworkers. Not that it helps to know that."

"Yeah, I can understand that. I feel closer to you guys than with most people from my high school. But hey, if there is anything I can do to help you, please let me know."

"Will do. For now, just being able to talk like this already helps. So let's change the subject. What new thing did you figure out about enchanting?"

"Right, so this is going to sound weird, but have you ever like made a bunch of scribbles in a notebook. Then one of them forms this cool pattern totally by accident?"

"Yeah," Bonnie replied.

"It's basically like that. I have no clue what I'm doing, so I just start making some random thing, but in the end, it works."

Bonnie chuckled, "I'm sure your customers would love to hear that."

"That's exactly why I don't do commissions just yet. Imagine if someone pays me for a fire-resistant armor, and I give one that is always covered in oil?" Mark laughed.

They continued talking for some time, and a few hours later, Bonnie went back to the house she shared with Helena and Alex. The place felt empty without Blue and Hera, even after all this time. A couple of weeks after the kobold battlefield, the guild declared the two killed in action and took all the measures to give their belongings back to their families. However, some of their spare gear was in the house. Helena boxed them all up to make it easier to send the equipment away, but no one had the heart to do it. Instead, they were in Blue's room gathering dust under the bed.

Bonnie entered the room and took the boxes out. The gear Blue used when they first entered the MAZE was in one of them. There was the black kevlar suit and the black gauntlets that made her look like a futuristic cop from a crappy movie sitting on top of everything. Bonnie just looked over the items, remembering her friends. She lost track of time while in there, only snapping back to reality when she heard the door opening.

"Who's home?" Bonnie called after putting the gear away and leaving the room.

"I am," Helena replied from the kitchen.

"Oh, are you done with what you were doing in the guild?" Bonnie came downstairs.

"Well, not really, but they kind of kicked me out again. But that's ok. I got a lot of data to work with."

Bonnie felt a glimmer of hope. It's been a long time since she had heard Helena talk about her work in any way, "Really? Anything to help your research?"

"Why are you thinking about my research? I'm talking about Hera and Blue."

"Lena, we've been over this. They are gone," Bonnie sighed.

"Just because we can't reach them, it doesn't mean they are dead, Bonnie. There are reports about people who survived for years alone in a room or even inside a dungeon."

"I know, and I read all about that when they first went missing. But, the conditions were different every time. Most had other means of escape or were just stuck in places where they had access to food and water. We went over this, Lena," Bonnie scratched her head.

"No, no, no. Here, come with me. Now I have enough to make you believe me," Helena walked downstairs to her lab.

Bonnie was a bit hesitant, but she followed her. Even after all this time, she was never allowed to go inside the mage's lab, and her curiosity took over. Walking inside, she saw a large room with several shelves on one side and large tables on the other. Many boxes were filled with beakers, rocks, and something that looked like large scales of some sort, all in the corner of the room tossed as if in a hurry, gathering dust. There was a large blackboard with several papers and notations with different dates, times, and what looked like EKGs in the middle of it all. The writing on the board was frantic and scribbled. Pieces of string, wire, and other strands connected different documents, and various information spread around the board. She took a step forward, and her foot hit an empty can. There was a large pile of energy drinks, food wrappings, and more garbage on the side. Looking back at Helena, Bonnie couldn't tell when it was the mage had taken a shower or brushed her hair. There were large dark bags under her eyes, and her nails were cracked and bitten.

"What is all this?" Bonnie asked.

"This is what I've been working on during the past months. You see, we assume they died because no one found them, and the bracelets stopped sending signals. But that's not true! If a bracelet is lost, it keeps sending signals every few minutes to indicate it is still functioning, and here," Helena pointed at a part of the board, "Both their bracelets sent a few signals in February. They were erratic, meaning we can't get a good reading, but that lasted for about 10 minutes. That wouldn't happen if they were dead. And if we take the longer signals with no interruption, it follows a steady heartbeat. Then, two weeks later, there was another signal, but this one lasted just under a minute. Fast forward another month and a half, and we have a signal that lasted for almost a full hour. It was still filled with static. Still, during this time, we got a better result, and at first, I thought it was just a steady heartbeat like the others, but if we put them side by side, look."

Helena picked two diagrams of EKGs and put them on top of each other, then put the paper against light to show the difference. Bonnie looked closely, and the one in front seemed to be a bit off-center, with a slight deviation to the left. Something that would barely be half a centimeter.

"What am I looking at?" Bonnie asked.

"This! The second signal was slower, very slightly, but still slower. It doesn't match with any previous signals. Meaning that it is something new! I'm guessing that Blue should've been crying during that time. Then we got a few others. Don't you see what this means? They are alive, Bonnie!"

"Lena, how is that different from the signals it normally shows? The people in the guild told us that if someone dies outside the range, the receiver will mimic their signal from time to time to try to find it during a scan. You said it yourself. It will grab random signals stored in the memory and replicate that to find a match when the network is idle. Besides, even if we are crying, our heartbeat doesn't change. That's just a misconception."

"No, it's not. Our heartbeat slows down slightly when we cry. It's just nothing relevant for doctors, but for this. It shows they are out there. Look, there is more!" Helena explained the other signals she noticed and the slight deviations they had. The more she talked, the more it became clear to Bonnie that there was nothing there. At one point, the only difference was one out-of-place pixel in the image. Helena was looking for patterns and finding those where she wanted, not where they actually were.

"Lena, what about your research?" Bonnie tried to pull her back to reality somehow.

"I can't research without my assistant. When Hera comes back, we have to work hard to make up for the lost time."

Bonnie didn't know what to say. Helena was more delusional than she imagined. The mage spent most of her time inside her lab, and the most Bonnie could do was put food and water in front of the door. She left the laboratory thinking about how things ended up getting this messed up when she saw Alex coming from her room.

"Thank the system you are here. Look, Helena is having a lot of trouble coping with everything. She thinks Hera and Blue are still alive. We need to help her understand…" Bonnie stopped talking when she saw the large bag that Alex was carrying, "Where are you going?"

"I'm too weak right now. If I want to get strong, I need an edge, so I'm going to the tower."

"What tower?" Bonnie asked, "You are not talking about the tower that was in the news, are you? The one in the 26th layer?"

"Yes, everyone is saying how it's a test and the system will give people a reward for completing it. If I rush, I might be the first one and get something," Alex replied in an icy voice.

"The fuck are you talking about? You are barely level 12 Alex, you'll die before even getting there. Helena only made it past the 15th layer because she had people to escort her!"

"I can get there. It will take some time, but it's better than staying here."

"Do you want to die that badly?" Bonnie yelled, but Alex just turned away and walked towards the door.

Bonnie grabbed the bag and tossed it across the room. The two started yelling, disturbing Helena, who came stomping from the basement, "Can you two stop yelling? I'm trying to think."

"Helena, help me here. Alex is talking about going to the tower!" Bonnie pleaded.

"The tower… if you are on your way there, can you drop by the Kobold Field and ask for them to send me some data? Hang on, let me text you what I need."

"I'm not going there again, but I'm leaving. I'll call you when I get to the tower," Alex replied.

"It's really quick. All you have to do is give a request to the clerk," Helena pressed.

Bonnie felt exasperated, "Both of you stop! For fuck's sake, it's been seven months. Stop blaming yourselves. Lena, you were not the one that made Hera come here, and Alex, it wasn't your fault. It was an accident," she fell to her knees with tears rushing down her face, "Please stop this. I don't want to lose the only people that I have left."

Alex stopped for a moment before hugging Bonnie, "You won't lose me."

Helena walked over and joined in, "I'm sorry, but I'm not going anywhere."

"What does it matter? This is the most I talked to you in months. You might be here, but it doesn't feel like it, Lena. And you," Bonnie turned to Alex, "You are so focused on getting stronger that you are never around. So why did I have to lose all my friends when only two of them died?"

"They are not dead, but I see your point," Helena replied.

"I only want to get stronger so that won't ever happen to you, Bonnie. But I'll stay around. There are still some things I can do here," Alex said.

Bonnie kept crying, knowing that this situation wouldn't change so soon.