FML DIY TOP 3 ANNOUNCEMENT AND VOTING (Patreon)

Congratulations to the top three finalists. It was a tough choice. You guys are rocking it with the ideas. 

Housing Crisis by Trill Bill

Today, I brought along my protege the Realty agency assigned to me on a house showing. I pretty much use her as my personal assistant. Things were going swimmingly until little miss thang decided to open her mouth and correct me IN FRONT OF MY CLIENTS. Who this bitch think she is? So, I politely sent her away on a coffee run and continued with the house showing. Later as I was talking price with the clients over said provided coffee, I got the shits real bad! I had to excuse myself mid conversation and run to the nearest bathroom in the house. I ripped my pantyhose tearing my underpants down so fast and I still barely made it into the toilet! Oh my god, I hadn't had shits like this since my college days! Turns out... that bitch spiked my coffee with prescription strength laxatives....all because I treated her like shit or something....FML

Shit and Tell by Ryan A

Today, I invited my date inside...for some...coffee. After discussing it, we decided our date wasn't quite over yet and made our way to the bedroom. He shoved me onto the bed and declared.....Suddenly, all I hear is my roommate DESTROYING our toilet in the next room.  We decide to wait it out....shit can't last forever....right?...Right? THAT'S IT! I got up and stormed into the bathroom where I find my roommate just peeling the paint off the walls! She says to me “I'm sorry! I had The Barn for dinner.” ...Aaaaaand NOW the mood is officially dead....FML

Sweet & Karen by MrViscom78

Today, when my date stopped by to pick me up he said “Hey, my brother has this blind date he's meeting tonight and he's really nervous about it. So, I told him he could sit with us and make it a double date....If that's cool?” Before I could agree or not, his brother stepped in and said “I really appreciate this. I'm just so nervous.” I smiled and nodded and told my date “We'll talk later.” By the time we arrived at our table, we were all best friends. I told my date “Your brother is really cool. I'm glad we did this.” Then HIS date arrived. I know that voice...That screech....I look up and it was my ANNOYING NEIGHBOR KAREN!! “Helllllo, Sharon.” This is going to be a long night....FML