Patreon Prompt 7 (Patreon)

Prompt: A new update to the game has turned D.Va into a giant gassy slob, and the enemy team can't help but laugh at her new form. Enraged, D.Va takes it out on them by performing her ultimate- without the help of her mech.

   It only took a few hours after the latest patch drop for people to discover there had been a major change to D.Va to better fit her gamer girl persona. While she still stomped around the map in her mech, there had been a noticeable loss of speed alongside a green miasma that permeated the cracks of the suit. A single glance inside of the cockpit made the other players take a second look to confirm that the obese woman with cheese dust layered on her fat lips piloting the mech was still the same character.

   While most people were left in confusion, a single Sombra player on the enemy team made it her mission to milk the situation for all its worth. Every time the D.Va released an errant fart or burp, she was sure to flood the chat with insults and nasty remarks. More than once she compared the gassy gamer’s belly to a human garbage disposal, adding on top of the numerous comparisons between her fat ass and Roadhog’s. That’s what made the end of the match all the more humiliating.

   Still in awe of what happened, the Sombra player could only watch as the play of the game was replayed in front of her. Her team was mere seconds away from snatching up victory when the D.Va player came charging at the control point with her ultimate fully charged. Pressing the button, the mech popped open the hatch to send the slobby girl rocketing into the air. Plummeting back down, she called out her catch phrase, “NERF THIS!” as her backside came plummeting down on the point accompanied with a prolonged fart.

   Anyone that wasn’t immediately killed by the impact was left to deal with the lingering toxic gas cloud. Watching her life tick away, the Sombra player’s last bit of health was knocked off by the D.Va player bumping into her with her own gluttonous gut. While the Sombra player spent the post-match screen coming up with a multitude of excuses as to why she lost, her teammates began to discuss among themselves who would be switching over to be a D.Va main.