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I walked down the alleyway, Leafa following behind me. We'd both swapped outfits, although one could barely tell by looking at me given my usual color scheme. Instead of my normal somewhat... ambiguously gendered set of gear, I'd donned a heavy black cloak with dusty-gold trim over top of a set of black and purple baggy tunic and pants. A silver-studded belt around my waist embraced four long daggers, each with a set of poisons applied to them.

My sister was far more dramatically different than the usual gear she wore. In fact, past the blonde hair trailing in a ponytail out of her own hood, one would almost think we were siblings given how closely we were dressed. Although she'd chosen a forest green for her tunic instead of the deep purple I had and, instead of a set of daggers at her waist, a heavy khopesh rested on her back, the handle jutting over her right shoulder.


We were, in fact, every teenage edgelord's wet dream come to life. All that was missing was a Linkin Park soundtrack playing over a montage of us slow-walking down dark streets and we'd be golden.


Walking past the beggar NPC dressed in rags and bandages behind a large crate, I casually dropped a copper, silver, and gold piece into his cup. The response was an equally-casual tapping of his smoking pipe against a cracked and chipped saucer full of ash, ringing it like a bell.

Turning the corner, a section of the wall opened smoothly and Leafa and I were allowed onto a small landing before descending a set of wooden steps as the guard who'd opened the camouflaged door slid it back into place and threw the heavy wooden beam back across it.


Now, one might think that Argo would be far and above the obvious choice for a Thieves' Guild Membership, and under normal circumstances one would be correct. The problem with that was, joining the Thieves' Guild in SAO automatically increased the prices you paid at the normal markets in town, raised the amount of money you needed to hand over if you got jailed by the guards for either bail or a bribe, and involved a lot of cringe roleplay as a shady figure.

Argo liked to say that the last one was the deal-breaker for her, even if we all quietly knew this particular kind of cloak-and-dagger criminal-esque masquerade was her natural state of being. No, what really did it was the price gouging you got at all the official markets for being 'suspicious' or 'shady.' There were ways around it, of course, but who had time to dig up blackmail every single shopkeeper you purchased from?


 Which was why Argo stopped playing that alt during the Beta.


Seriously, that girl could make Scrooge blush.

The next obvious choice was Sinon. Sure, she might not have the same almost-comically conspiratorial approach to virtually any deal she made, but she had something of a low-level street thug vibe going on in most of her characters, complete with barely-restrained violence. Due to a lot of pent up anger from IRL, Sinon could be counted on to throw down at the drop of a hat. Or without dropping the hat. She didn't really need a reason.


But, see... therein lies the rub. Sinon wasn't acting. Her frustrations were one-hundred percent real and she played games to work them out constructively instead of doing something deeply unfortunate to the people who'd socially isolated her outside of the virtual world. One time in the beta, I'd seen her literally beat a goblin to death with her bare hands while laughing like a maniac. Afterwards, we'd had the most amazing sex, but goddamn that girl had issues.


I mean, I loved her, don't get me wrong, but there was something broken deep inside her and I wasn't sure there would ever be any way to 'fix' it.


Sinon disdained the Thieves' Guild not because of the fact that the benefits relied on a certain amount of theatricality and deception, but because those were required at all.


 Part of me felt like, especially given her recent confessions about enjoying being stuck in the game, that she might be starting to think of herself more as 'Sinon' than 'Asada Shino.'

At least, faster and more completely than the rest of us were subsuming our gamer IDs as our own.


Which was a pervading existential crisis I would one day have to deal with, but that was Future Kirito's problem.

Kazuto. Kazuto's problem.

As to why Lea-Sugu was willing to LARP with me as a Thieves' Guild member? Well, I could lie and say that it was because she was a closeted kleptomaniac or that the items in the <<Black Markets>> were necessary for her build, but really it came down to the fact that I was a terrible fucking influence on my little sister.

Pushing open the door at the bottom of the stairwell, we stepped into a room dimly lit by groupings of candle and oil lamps, no two alike in the classic mishmash of a poverty-stricken den of villainy and desperation. On cue, a few background conversations cut themselves off and dark gazes turned our way as we walked calmly into the room, a strut to our steps and a pair of confident grins on both of our faces.


“Hey, wait up there. Who the hell are you lot?” One thug of a man asked, rising from his table. He wore a thin dirty tunic, a pair of torn pants held up by a rough-cut rope, and bore a series of shitty skull tattoos across mostly-bald head. “I ain't seen either a' you two around here before.”


“That's because we're not from around here, big boy,” Leafa purred in a sultry tone so unlike her usual one as she stepped forward. “We're just passing through, but we thought we'd be polite and register with the guild before we took any jobs 'round here.”


The thug sneered and crossed his arms over his barrel chest as he cocked his head. “I don't know who you are, thinking you can come in here, but-”

“She's my apprentice,” I stated, an item popping out of my inventory with a thought. It was a plain bronze necklace, nothing to write home about, but the pendant on it made it special. “And this is a courtesy call. From one Master Thief to another.”

The air of expectant violence in the dimly lit bar swept itself aside with a single gust of inhalation by its patrons. The miniature dagger hanging from the chain was covered in rust and bore tarnish, a fitting emblem for a thief who would sell virtually anything they thought would bring them money that wasn't utterly necessary for their livelihood.

The thug swallowed, stepping back in recognition as the butt of a wooden staff clacked against the ground from the corner, drawing attention towards a lamp hanging over a table with a single man nursing a tall bottle of alcohol. “Let 'em pass, Durge. We've got business.”

“Course, sir. Didn't mean nuthin' by it, Master,” he gave a deep nod to the man in the corner, then grimaced but dipped his head ever-so-slightly to me as well.

Stepping past Leafa in a well-rehearsed move I took the lead as we marched over to the table and I took the only seat opposite him. Leafa remained standing, taking up a position leaning against the wall near me as she watched my back.


Because the <<Thieves' Den>> was a special zone within the Second Floor's main city. The bulk of the area was a <<Safe Zone>>, of course, but there were a few training areas and exceptions within the region. You could entirely start a lethal brawl here in the Den, but it was at the risk of invoking two things. The first was calling the City Guard NPCs down on the Den, which would put an extended cooldown on your membership in the guild if you attempted to use it afterwards. The second was pissing off whichever <<Master Thief>> ran the local guild Den.


...and, while thieves weren't the most conventionally dangerous kind of build to face off against in direct combat, the fact that the guildmaster was always at least ten levels higher than the median level to operate on that floor meant you were still taking your life in your own hands.

The bearded man looked up when I sat down and extended his hand, snapping his fingers. Obligingly, I held out the pendant on the chain again, allowing him to look it over. Doubtless, the system behind the NPC was inspecting the code of the object as it had been programmed to.


Which was the real reason Leafa and I were doing this.


I mean, yes, after nearly two solid months of herding cats, inspecting code, and getting the ball rolling so that the players would have something to do while they were trapped in this fucking game. Realistically, it didn't matter if the cult was telling the truth or if their inside man had installed some hidden trap. I didn't know if I was peddling false hope or real hope, but keeping the gamers, newbs, and trolls busy playing the game was enough to stop people from committing suicide via ennui-induced depression.

Now I wanted to test how the system would react to someone showing up in the early game with what was at best a mid-game, if not marginally late-game item. Quite honestly, I don't think any of the beta players actually achieved the rank of 'Master Thief,' especially since it was a long-ass quest line. I had my title because I'd volunteered to play-test some of the content that was still in development at higher levels.

In other words, no one should have the <<Master Thief's Icon>>.


So what happens when I wave a proverbial red flag in front of the anti-cheating software?


“Master Kirito, then.” The man opposite me nodded once, and I felt the tension in the dingy bar around us relax and heard conversations in the background pick back up from where they'd fall silent. “Pleased to make your acquaintance.”


Inwardly, I released my own sigh of relief.


“I reciprocate the sentiment, Master Fagin,” I nodded in reply as the man waved over a pair of glasses for myself and Leafa.


“So what brings you to our neck of the woods, pup?” Fagin drawled. “Got work here in <<Urbus>>?”


“A few jobs I might take up. Things are still in the works,” I waved casually. “Just wanted to stop in and make sure I don't ruffle any feathers. Figured it was the polite thing to do.”

Fagin chuckled, a raspy and dirty sound, but nodded. “Aye, that it is. I'll spread your name around a bit to my trusted men, make sure there won't be any misunderstandings. This your apprentice?”


“This is Leafa, yes.” I signaled over my shoulder as she bent to grab the drink, nodding to the other Master Thief. “I'll be taking care of the tithe to get her registered.”

“Course, course,” Fagin grinned widely, a pop-up showing that I'd just been registered with the Thieves' Guild as a Master Thief. Thankfully, it didn't seem to show any glitches or problems. A quick look at Leafa saw her give me an affirming nod. “So, if yer still feelin' things out, can I interest ya' in work?”

I hummed, pretending to think it over, before agreeing. Even as Fagin went over the details of stealing some jewels from one of the local nobility, I knew I didn't really need to do this, but...

I'd spent the last two months working hard, just like everyone else and even with all of the trauma and bullshit that had happened, I still enjoyed this game. It was something I'd helped create, something I'd poured blood, sweat, and tears into. Even if it was being used as a weapon to kill hundreds of people and hold thousands more hostage, part of me still loved the pure artistic beauty of what I'd had a hand in making.


Part of me felt guilty about it, and there were plenty of justifications I could make up if I wanted to, but when it came down to it...

I just wanted to play the game.

After getting the quest details from Fagin, Leafa and I finished our drinks and wandered off through the bar's rear door into the <<Black Market>>. Even with the knowledge that the 'black market' was actually a rather ephemeral and loose connection of thieves, fences, launderers, and gang politics under the patronage of corrupt officials; it just wasn't the same as having a suspiciously-spacious underground complex full of stalls and criminals plying their wares and trades.


 “Don't let me leave without picking up a lock-picking set, Onii-chan. Especially since someone didn't think to dupe the good ones,” Leafa commented with a teasing glare.


I rolled my eyes. “Hey, you should just be glad I had most of your favorite build's equipment stowed away.”


Leafa giggled. “Yeah, right. You're such a pack-rat when it comes to that stuff, Kirito.”


I clicked my tongue. “I make sure to purge the memory every now and then. I'm not that bad.”


“Says Mr. Five-Hundred Open Tabs,” my sister grinned as we stopped in front of a stall selling picks to haggle. Even if the best would be rare drops or custom made by another PC, this would keep her from borrowing mine until she could find some.

...still need to think about tracking down Liz. Would it be creepy? Is she already a crafter or has she even started going out with a party yet? There was something about a previous group? Some kind of breakup with them? Can't remember.


“You said Mom told you she knew about us?” Lea-Sugu asked suddenly, apropos of nothing as she looked over her new purchase. “I meant to bring it up before now, but...”


I shrugged. “We didn't exactly have the time to go into detail about everything, but she pretty much outright stated it, yeah. Why?”


My sister frowned, then sighed. “I... kind of, well, I didn't tell her, but she caught me doing sheets one time.”

I blinked, my eyebrows rising as I stared at my flushing little sister. “That kind of thing was why I tried to get you to tell her in the first place. Back when we started kissing. Before Sinon and Argo, at least.” Things had kind of... spiraled after a certain point, but I'd initially wanted to be open with my adopted mother that Suguha and I were feeling out a romantic crush.

“I knooo~ooow,” Suguha groaned, running a hand over her face. “I just... I burst into tears and begged her not to force you to move away.”

I smiled softly at Sugu, then leaned in and kissed her cheek, making her squeak as I wrapped an arm around her. In her defense, it had been a legitimate concern. Mom would have been totally within her rights to kick me out at that point. Or, at least, forbid the relationship. Still, Kirigaya Midori hadn't struck me as that severe. If anything, it'd been the exact opposite given how weirdly serious she had been while teasing the two of us about ending up as a married couple up to...


Huh, I'm an idiot.


“I only just noticed that she stopped teasing us about going t o our wedding about a year and a half ago,” I muttered. “That was when she caught you with the sheets, wasn't it?”


Sugu blinked, surprised out of her embarrassed funk. “I, uh... think so, actually? She sat me down and we had this big talk about everything. She wanted to make sure you weren't forcing me to do anything-” Her eyes widened as she turned to me. “-and I told her that I'd been the one to confess to you! Sh-she laughed. A lot.”

Yeah, that was mom in a nutshell.


“I kind of wanted to ask her, but we were on a time crunch,” I began slowly. “But, do you think she knows about Tomo and Shino?”

Sugu paused for a moment, then shook her head. “I don't think so? Mom didn't bring things up all that often. Said she wanted to give us space and everything, and that we could come to her when we were ready. I just-” She grimaced. “I thought the fact that she'd found out because of me meant I'd failed o-or done something wrong-”

I turned and pulled her into a tight hug. “Love. Baby Girl. Even if Mom had made me leave, kicked me out that night, you wouldn't have done anything wrong and I never would have blamed you for anything.”

Pulling her into the shadows of a small crevice, out of the sight of the NPC traffic, Sugu began to quietly cry against my shoulder while I whispered reassurances to her quietly. Eventually her tears dried up and she simply leaned into my embrace as I hugged her.

“I love you, onii-chan,” Sugu whispered.


“I love you too, imouto,” I replied, squeezing her against me for a heartbeat.


“I love Argo and Sinon, too,” she admitted, almost timidly, as if afraid of my reaction.


I chuckled, looking down at her as she looked up at me. “I would hope so, given that I'm pretty sure the feeling is mutual for both you and me as well.”


My sister sighed happily, snuggling up against me for another brief moment before pulling away with a brief kiss. “Um... Kirito... would it be weird if... when we go to do this quest...”

I raised an eyebrow as she blushed and looked away.


“You'll have to say that louder,” I encouraged her.

“C-could we make out on his bed? I j-just don't want to wait until we get back to the room!” Leafa squeaked.


I grinned, chuckling as I ruffled her hair. “Such a needy little sister I have.”

Leafa ducked her head as her blush intensified. “Th-that's not a no.”

I laughed outright as I walked away, sending her another grin. “It's not, no.”

Someday, we'd have to have a talk with Mom about everything, but that day wasn't today. Unless the Japanese National Police Force was far more competent than I believed them to be, we had time to figure things out. In the meantime, that was more than enough drama for a given day.


It was time to have fun.

~~~

Leafa/Suguha is turning out to be a somewhat difficult character to write. If only canon gave me something in terms of characterization beyond her crush on Kirito. Maybe I'll go back and watch the later Alfheim arcs to see if there's something there. May have to just do my own thing with her.

Anyway, it's out and ready to read! Happy Belated Fourth of July to all of my fellow Americans! Hope you're all celebrating safely and responsibly! No blowing off digits with fireworks, please!

Or, at least, getting away with it if you can't do that.

I have certain celebratory activities to take part in over the weekend, so I don't know if I'll get something out during that timeframe like I have been. If not, though, I'll post again early next week. What will it be?

Well, judging by the poll, it looks like Winning Peace again. In Industrious' defense, though, the margin was about 10 votes this time, so it was a very close second. I'll try to get a chapter of the OG timeline of Industrious out next week as well on that note.

Comments

Guilherme Bezerra

I am just curious what "doing sheets" means because I have no idea. For the rest I am enjoying the characterization and continue to be impressed on how the content is being developing, though the sheer scope of the challenge, 100 floors after all, means I wonder when exactly the bypasses are going to be implemented.

Meh123

I mentioned this in a previous post on an old chapter. But, Kirito's IRL appearance has been noted as very androgynous at least within the Light Novel. To the point that it's easy for others to mistake him for a girl. So even if he was in his IRL appearance, the only true difference would be the long hair and maybe slight height difference. It could be noted that since he was put into basically a coma before/during puberty, he would normally experience some stunted growth. This was never shown in the series, as he grew to above average height... which doesn't make sense. (Heck, I remember watching the anime and Asuna didn't look like she was in a coma for two years at all. Which was also weird for me. I know it's just bad writing, but it's still super weird that there weren't any side-effects for the coma.) Anyway, rant over! Good story, and I will definitely keep reading it in the future.

Slayer Anderson

Marketable waifus and husbandos cannot be visibly negatively affected by their trauma, it reduces their value. Or something-something medical advancements.