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[TWS] Chapter 105 – The Demon Continent Awaits [HIDDEN] (Patreon)

Published:
2021-09-28 11:56:23
Imported:
2023-04

Content

Chapter temporarily hidden for verification or due to exclusivity of Kindle if it happened.

If it did, the chapter is now available on Kindle Unlimited or will soon be: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B09VDLWRBJ

Comments

Darth Mole

Thanks for the chapter! I think you may be missing a "first" in the sentence regarding Ast's trip to the demon continent. I look forward to more!

Tanner Lovelace
>>68707510

Agreed on both counts. Loved the chapter! The sentence in question current reads “It will be your time visiting that region, isn’t that right?” so it definitely looks like it should have the word “first” before the word “time”.

Anonymous

Oh yay! Boat trip! Who's going to get sea sick? Giant sea monster attack? Mermaids? So many options...

shifter1987

Instead of cliches why don't you think about the story so far and build on top the relationship between summoner and companion. Who's to know if you can think of a new ability or feeling that can be used in battle. Hell you got loot and skills from levels use that to think of a way to explain on the whole summoning rune thing.

Saileri
>>68753389

I have already stated plenty of times that I don't pay attention to "cliches". Cliche thing for one person isn't for another. It can ruin a story if you actively try to avoid them. I just go with what I like to happen and how I like it to happen during the moment.

shifter1987

I understand the feeling. It just gets repetitive. I'm not getting on you or anything like that. I'm giving an opinion on the work as constructive criticism. Sorry if ruffled u a bit 😂 I didn't mean harm.

Saileri
>>68774348

Neither did I. I just presented my approach and it's been like that since the start for both stories :P

Anonymous

Hey Saileri! Will Umbra be able to shadow port him into Miria's and Selene's realm for visits now? I am assuming he could, due to the fact that either of them could open the portal and travel through. Umbra should be able to as well, even transporting Ast. Right?

hawkshe .
>>68798936

I'm actually not sure Umbra can go into their realms. Keep in mind there's something in his realm that is meant to trap him in there. His link to his summoner is the only reason he has enough of a foothold to stay in his world at any reasonable length of time, but he doesn't have a strong link to Mira's or Selene's realms, so it would surprise me if he could go there at all, let alone take a passenger along with him.

Saileri
>>68798936

Well, first of all, we don't know if he can use that ability to cross realms even if he would be able to go into the portal leading to Miria's or Selene's. Secon, the distance would be huge if so. Who knows how far the realms are apart. Days, months waiting in the abyss to get there? We'll see ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Anonymous
>>68798936

I don't see it. Let's say that Selene opens a portal home. She steps through and is there immediately. Miria steps through and it's the same. Why can't Umbra step though it and it be the same. They are all three summons', I'm pretty sure no one wants to visit Umbra's realm, but I'm pretty sure that Miria's parent's would like to meet the man that took her heart and made her his own. Same goes for Selene and the Matriarch there. Ast or the summoner may not be able to use the portal as the summoner, but if he is inside Umbra, I think he could. Definitely bring some nice facets to the story. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Anonymous

I bought both books on Kindle and that brought me here with the opportunity to read more. I've thoroughly enjoyed the story thank you for writing it. I adore the characters too. Umbra was a nice unexpected touch. I will say that if i had any criticism to this light novel like writing it would be the slight way you adjust your tone and the way you write on the intimate scenes. Its like... they go from this interesting people to suddenly trying too hard to add something... well just rated R. The langauge they use doesn't fit the characters at all. The scenes are well written and makes sense. I enjoyed them. But, and maybe its just me, it feels immersion breaking when im sudden reading standard porn scene lines like "smash that pussy". Maybe take a little more time to think out how they would speak without being so... out of character? If i had tl describe it better its almost as if the moment they speak during those really intimate moments they suddenly feel like a really bad porn renactment of my favorite series. Thank you for all your writing and keep it up! Ill happily buy the series as it comes out to support. While there are other things id talk about I'm not a writer and just a consumer with a strong love for fantasy and xanxia light novels. I just wanted to leave a little feedback. Can't wait for more.

Saileri
>>69153906

Thanks for your opinion. I try to match the lines with their personalities actually, and the circumstances, but perhaps it didn't work that well. We'll see about the future. I wanted for this story to retain its original style from when it started, thus the scenes are more like that. For another project, I will be testing out a different approach. Personally, I like both but we'll see.

Mutny
>>68798936

but umbra could try to get there on his own and play marionette for ast through mind connection

Anonymous
>>68798936

That could possibly work, I'd imagine the tunnel would have to remain open the entire time though...

Anonymous

Feels like the tutorial ended with the fast travel option unlocked!

Puggan Se

" It will be your time visiting that region, isn’t that right?” maybe "first time"?

Puggan Se
>>73268988

See that @Tanner Lovelace beat me to it, but misplaced the comment as a reply, so guess that's why you didn't answer.

Saileri
>>73268988

I remember fixing that though since I read every comment. Weird.