Kings Journal: AC Allstars,fake 100, the future (Patreon)

For the Artpacks in February 2020 I started drawing assassins for a little pin-up project. Soon after I thought about drawing all characters from Assassin's Creed and now, one year later I finised the Allstars project.
In this Journal I will share my thoughts about this long project and also about a misguiding number of supporters on Patreon, who never existed.

AC Allstars
Summarizing the Allstars project I can clearly say: I am proud, that I finished it, but I won't miss it at all. Working on 12 artworks at the same time without packing an assassin into each Artpack was a challenge. It was actually quite annoying and boring after a while.
And I thought about ending the project, but in a poll 75% of my patrons requested me to continue. I swear without that poll I would have stopped.

At a good time last year I had 100 patrons 75% wanted the Allstars - that means 75 people.
And at the same time I could be happy, when 8 people managed to click to the like button below an artwork. 8 of 75. "Wow" not everyone at the same time please.
That was frustrating.
But I will present a revelation about numbers later in this Journal, that will surprise you. Not a good surprise. Sorry. But a surprise.

In comparison to other longer art projects I did in the past: FFXV hotel, Path of Radiance or recently the size contest FFX versus FFXV, the AC Allstars was just too much with 12 characters and over year. Maybe I am not fan enough to endure such a long time.
I admit I am having an easy time drawing Final Fantasy guys, because they offer more artistic freedom, while AC has clear boundaries because of the realism.

I also think I found out why hardly anyone draws AC fanart:
The fanboys and fangirls are so consumed with their own fantasies, that there is no space left for art, which does not hundert percently reflect their personal desires. So I can only fail even with a regular pin-up. Assassin's Creed is no franchise for nsfw fanart.
I do not recommend it. I began with AC fanart on Tumblr and although I like drawing rare stuff, I reached a limit with the Allstars project. It was not worth it. It grants me no success and I have zero interest in brown-nosing myself at any fanboy/girl community to beg for support on Patreon.

Well, to end the Allstars summary, I can say, that the project made me unhappy, a bit angry, thoughtful and whiny. At the beginning of this Journal I said, that I would be proud. Yes, that's still true, but being proud of finally getting done with something is not satisfying.

Fake 100
Speaking of satisfaction. It is time for a revelation:
I think I never had 100 patrons. It was all fake. How is that possible?!
I'll explain. Patreon is actually a good place, but the programming team seems to love editing things secretly and while they do so things get messed up -also secretly.
The displayed number of my patrons counted declined patrons and blocked patrons: None of those support me. Some even create an account without having any money. It is ridiculous.
So I watched that 100 patrons number for a while and I wondered why my income decreases more and more while there should actually be enough supporters to compensate the loss due to Corona.
Well the number was wrong. I lost supporters over months and now that I found out, I was so angry, that I hid the number.

I don't want anyone to see how many or few supporters I have. It is none of their business.
I always considered that number as irritating, but Patreon recommends to show it. It does not reflect talent or quality or reliability.
Some artists can brag with it, but I don't want a number on my main page that influences new, potential patrons.
Little number - that must be a bad artist - I won't pledge.
High number - wow that artist must be so good - or - that artist earns too much I won't pledge.
In both cases the creator loses.

The Future
The good thing of the end of the Allstars is that I finally feel present in 2021. I feel the new year. I lost many supporters and I am sad.
I want to use March as a recovery month for my mind. To think about my future.
Nevertheless I will create new content. I want to draw something that cheers me up.
Maybe I "revive" old crushes from my past.
Somehow I feel like giving up and at the same time I feel very defiant.

Thank you for reading.

Have you ever worked on something that did not make you happy afterwards?
How is your year going so far? Do you feel a delay like me?
Tell me in the comments.