beWilder’s Wildest: Round #1, Match #5 - Post Match! (SFW Version) (Patreon)

Hola from beWilder Island, where Christmas may be just a couple weeks around the backwards bend and January chill hangs in the air most places, but here the sun hangs high all year ‘round! It’s me, your hostess with the mostess, Caroline, back again from the holiday hiatus to make some added impact as our bWW! tournament is back with more match-ups. We’ve had the last polling sown up for a while now, but there’s still one woman in waiting to be debriefed before our 6th match melts the frost from our noses, if you know what I mean!

“Debriefed”? Am I supposed to be bare assed for this? F*ck sake, it’s always something to humiliate me isn’t it?

That’s not what that phrase means, but you also wouldn’t be the first to make this process awkward, so… Whatever you prefer, it’s your 15 minutes of fame here, then you go home.

Home… Right. Like this hole of a place is worth stayin’ at now anyway… *Hmph*. Can I have my drumsticks back yet? “1 Luxury item per person” my ass…

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Ok then boys and girls out there back on continental ground. We’re 5 matches in and 5 girls down, as 16 is now 11, and on the verge of becoming 10. With the first bout of the right-side brackets decided, AoH ups it’s lead to a now unbeatable (but tie-able!) to 4-1 in the opening round, denying the NTR girls their shot at building a streak and ensuring we’ll have a bevvy of parody girls in Round 2 to carry on the original beWilderversebranch banner in the OCs’ stead. In other news and stats, the darker haired girl of the pairings have won it 3 of 4 times, the woman with the biggest chest has taken the ‘W’ 4 of the 5 (notably though, the biggest chest in the shared universe, Raven, was ousted by the smallest we’ve got, Cat), and interestingly we’ve seen 2 upsets out of 5 when it comes to the weakest seed winning over the stronger thus far. Parody girls beat OCs in direct face-offs 2-1 as well. All interesting trends, but all mean very little as each match is its own! “Any given Sunday” they say!

In the battle of the bad girls, Dyana burned the competition, sending Kriem back to Philly by way of this interview space first. It wasn’t too far from a real nailbiter at that, with as little as any 2 votes being enough to have made the difference. But as it stands, another of NTR’s top secondary girls goes back to the benches… That’s my nicer way of saying she’s out on her ass. With a hard schedule ahead for the remaining Noemi squad, let’s take a little while to reflect on the most recent match gone-by and see what Kriem has to say about the whole experience as we get amped up for a return to the contest feel!

Whatever. I’m here, so let’s just do this already. I’m sick of all this sun anyway. Like I need a deeper tan? My life already sucks anyway, I’m not looking to make it worse… Plus, I’m kind of worried about who’s looking after Little Toscana if all us girls are here… *Uggh*. Not “worried”, but… Yeah…

Are you? Showing concern for others before yourself? That’s admirable, but too late for you, the match is over and official. That being the case, it was as close as I’ve seen in my admittedly short tenure as hostess. The final score was 13-10, meaning if only 1 person had changed their mind to vote with you, any other single vote would have seen you through. “What ifs” though, am I right? In the end though, you lost. What’s your thoughts on that?

*Perturbed groaning*… Look, I tried, alright? That’s all I can really say about it, isn’t it? I actually said my f*ckin’ feelings out loud for once and tried to actually ask for what I wanted like my boss and Clair have been trying to beat into my head, but fuck if it mattered. Maybe I just got lucky last time out when I got into the final 8, who the Hell knows…? Not what I’d have wanted to use the only luck I’ve ever seen on, but f*ck it. It only gave me some stupid ideas of actually winning a head-to-head even once, so that serves me right I guess. *Hmph*…

… What sucks the most is I lost to a f*cking dead woman, didn’t I? All that shit I put up with running plates like a freakin’ mule meant nothing? What ever happened to suffering pays off? And even worse, what did Dyana have that I didn’t? We’re almost the same person other than she burns shit up for shits and giggles… Same hair colour, same face colour, and she even bummed one of my smokes for berries… So what’s the difference other than I’m still here for your f*cked up humiliating in ongoing games and shit? What?!

What’s the difference between you and her…? Well… There is something that comes to mind. A pair of things, really. I wouldn’t be so sure of it myself to say they were the deciding factor, although some have admitted as much in the Discord discussion space, sooo…

You think I’m stupid, don’t you? *Ggrrh*. I know I’m not “smart”, but I’m not f*ckin’ stupid neither, and it pisses me off when people just assume it with me right here in front of them. *Growling*. You’re talking about my shitty tits, I know you are…

… I got my fat f*ck of a Dad’s manboob size DNA, so what? Like that’s my fault? That and my so-called “Mom’s” skin really f*cked my life over from day 1. *Hmph*. You try getting a rack stacked on a waitress’ tips, it’s damn expensive and I just don’t have the temper to hold a sugar daddy, as sick as that’d make me to even try in the first place. Look! It’s not something I can change right now, and so if being small chested cost me the match then f*ckin’ fine then. Big whoop. Assholes can suck a fat tit all they want… See if I care. I’m out already, whoever the voters pick in the end, let her bust her ass pleasing them. More time off my feet for me… *Sniffle*… Whatever… It’s true.

As a woman of a larger bust size myself, I can tell you that life’s not a bowl of cherries by default just to be of a larger heft…

… Sure… I’ll believe that shit. Because I’m stupid, didn’t you f*ckin’ know? *Tsck*! You don’t get to be some bigshot TV hostess as your first damn job here… Frankie doesn’t have a damn house and a family of her own… Noemi doesn’t own her own damn restaurant and have a sweet guy on her arm to boot… Hell, even Clair has her own tattoo parlour she keeps going and she’s not exactly a freakin’ genius either, but she has a tight-fitting dress doesn’t she? So does that Asana nutcase, she’s beloved all over Philly, got a shop of her own, she’s browner than most girls too and she still f*ckin’ won against some super-bitch, didn’t she? I know it’s the damn tits factor, bitch!

*Grumble*. Don’t spit in my f*ckin’ face and tell me it sucks to be you too… Like that’d make me happy. Who the f*ck you think I am to take other people’s misery as somethin’ to smile about? Blondie…?

Alright, I’m sorry I tried to help. I can’t exactly fault your pushbacks though. Let’s just move on and agree we might not see eye-to-eye on this. Let’s just say we’d both agree it’s better to lose based on not being to people’s particular tastes than it being down to personality, right?

The f*ck? What’s this about my personality now? Where’d that come from? You want to start something, because cameras or not I’ll finish it…

No, I really don’t, Ms Blakey. Forget it… Before you make things worse for yourself, even… How about this then? As one of the returning head-to-head girls from bWW!18 we can talk about the difference between then and now rather than the difference between you and Dyana, right? Interestingly, 6 of the 8 of you have already competed this Round, and you’re the 3rd to find herself with me after Round 5… In fact, all 8 of you were paired up against a fellow veteran and the new 8 girls all drew against fellow rookies… Huh. I just noticed that! *Umm*… Anyway… You lost back then too, to Natasha my records tell me… So any input on this contest verses that?

*Annoyed sigh*… Do I have to have any? What can I say about it that your files don’t already? I lost then too, but at least I guess losing against the main girl of a whole other game and some shit-hot superheroine or something, that’s not so bad… *Soft whimper*… The f*ck went wrong between then and now that I lost to a bitch with bullets all through her…? Do I even want to think about that? Not without being stoned off this whole island, never mind my ass.

Can… Can you tell me something? Math… Math is like the worst thing I can look at other than… I shouldn’t get into family shit here, it’s not worth it… But still, Math sucks so I’m not really sure of the numbers… Did… Did I at least do better this time? I think I did, but…

Better? I guess that all depends on how you cut the cake. I’ll admit I’m not exactly a trained statistician myself, so I can’t say “by the standard deviation” this or that but… I think maybe you did, actually. Records indicate that you got whipped… technical terms, I’m sorry to have to say… by Natasha 5 years ago, 24-9, meaning you took about 27% of that vote… This time it was a close 13-10, or 43.5%... If turnout this time around matched then you might have even topped out on 14 votes total, so that’s decent gains… On the other hand, you did put up those improved numbers against a dead woman, even if she’s also a #4 seed for her branch and #5 overall to your #8…

Whoa, whoa, hold on! You lost me in all that number soup… Jeez… So what? Bottom line me here, please… Did I… Do people actually give a shit what I do or what? Even a little bit, maybe?

I think it’s safe to say yes, they do. Congratulations…! *Awkward pause*. The bottom line is you posted better numbers this time than that, absolutely, and subjectively while it could have gone better, maybe you still have it in you to win again another day. In fact, with these numbers it’s likely we’ll see you back for bWW!2X or whatever happens next, most likely. You’re still high up the NTR cast list, *cough* even if you’ll likely lose your #4 seed after this contest *cough*… excuse me… But at the same time you’re holding to the middle of the loser’s list thus far with your performance.

What was that bit in the middle about the seeds? I didn’t catch that… *Critical stare*…

Nothing! Never mind that, that’s for after the tournament’s over! All I was saying was you out preformed Mystique as well, who’s now below you on the position list, her 8 votes to your 10, and Beth who I’m sure you know is even lower. Others have fallen faster and further, even if you’ve slipped from 8th overall to 11th or at worst 14th… We’ll soon see after the next 3 matches…

… Hold on… *Hrm*? I’m being told in my ear by Salvatore in the studio that I’m obliged to tell you that fellow gothy girl Raven “and her big tits” did beat you with 13 votes, and the girl on top of the pile is currently “Blondie”…? She’s got 14… so she beat you to… Why do I have to say this to her? Are you just stirring the pot now, Studio Crew?!

I got beat out by that grinning little braided bitch and by that much…?! *Raging panting*! And a girl who’s like me but white as f*ck and stacked to the f*cking teeth!? I f*cking told you this whole f*cking thing sucked! And I only beat out that little worm Beth? That’s nothing! A week old veal parmesan could beat her, for Satan’s sake! Oh, and barely scrapped passed another f*ckin’ bitch who we don’t even know the real face of because she’s barely ever the f*ck around?!

You’re all lucky I don’t have my drumsticks back yet or I’d do something that honestly would be stupid and break them as I break one of these shitting cameras or something! *Grraah*!!!

(*Whispered*) Salvatore, I’m going to make sure she gets those sticks back so she can kill you for me… Thank you.

Starli-*Ah*-Kriem! Kriem…! Let’s take 5 here and get you a glass of water or maybe a lit something in your hand before we get back to the latter half of our interview, yeah? We’ll calm you down and get to talking about you, nice easy stuff… Ok? Ok…!

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… Alright, here we are, back again. Refreshed, relaxed and ready to go once more. Welcome to the softer side of the postgame, where we can forgo most of the stats and figures of hard data to spend some time with the women themselves. They might’ve lost, but for being good sports and participating, we want to provide them a chance to get the word out for next time. So let’s do just that with the young Ms. Blakey here. Where do you see yourself next then?

Next for… Me? *Umm*… Waitressing? *Oof*… If you’d asked me that the year before I’d found Little Toscana and I’d said that I’d have kicked my own ass for it… But yeah… I think waitressing… F*ck.

“Waitressing?” Is that a statement or a question. Do you know something we don’t? Are… Are you getting fired?

Am I?! What the shit? This is how I find out? I-*Nggh*… You… You don’t know shit either, do you? *Soft relieved breathing*. Don’t scare me like that, f*ck! I thought for a second there… Damn it, now I’m even shitting bricks thinking I might not even get to be a waitress? *Whimper*…

… I don’t know, alright? I don’t… Planning ahead and knowing what the Hell next week will bring, it’s not my strong suit. Unless Little Toscana gets shuttered for good, which doesn’t seem likely given we’re all working real hard and it’s getting more popular all the time… Or I actually deck some f*ck that pulls his cockpiece out to show me again like happens and I break his face… I think I’ll still be waitressing. I’ll get by…

… I think Noemi’s beginning to take an interest in helping me, kind of like Clair has over the years, now that she’s got some headspace to look at the rest of us and our own problems. She’s… She’s pretty cool like that, she doesn’t have to… It’s not like it’s any of her f*ckin’ business or nothing, but I think she’s going to help me with my art and music to the point I might just be able to show off more “personal growth” than showing my ass in a skirt in public for the first time since I was like 7 or something… Like I’m a f*cking girl or something... So yeah… Waitressing, and maybe some other stuff in my wheelhouse given half a chance soon…

Not bad… Sounds interesting, in fact. I’m sure a few of the Philly fans will like to see more counter culture stuff coming forth. Your boss already straddles that line herself, so a little more life between the business moves on Easy Street should be welcome I’d bet. Speaking of stuff to keep a girl busy outside of working hours, who do you think of the remaining 11 will be in for the best chances at the title of Queen? Or more simply, who do you want to see win?

… Aren’t those 2 different questions? For most people I think they are anyways… I guess they aren’t for me… Noemi. It’s got to be the boss. She’s got that tough streak that won’t let her stop from competing, and she’s got the looks, skills, personality, all that good shit… She’s a winner, basically…

… Yeah, it’s no question it’s Noemi, since Clair isn’t even here, and even then it’s got to be Noe. Except for some shit she gets up to, which isn’t my business so f*ck it, she deserves the win too. She’s actually a good person, giving a girl like me a chance after I literally handed her trash I scribbled on as my application to work for her… I owe her a whole lot already, so she gets my unquestioning support no matter what, for what it’s even worth…

… Aside from her… Frankie? She’s got a chest you could use as airbags and we all know she’s a timebomb of insanity and horniness just waiting to pop… A win might actually set her off at last… I bet it feels nice to be picked even once… *Groan*. Blondie’s gone already, so at least I can laugh at that… Though if she was still in I’d almost want to back her 3rd because she’s got a fierce streak to her I sometimes respect… We are kind of friends after all… But since she’s already booted, I’d say 3rd to Natasha? She beat me before. She’s tough. She likes leather. That’s good enough for me.

Oh? A full Top 3? That’s nice, you’re the first to actually put that much effort into my question. Thank you…

Sure. Welcome. Or thanks… I’m not sure which? I’m told what I don’t have in talent for dealing with people or shit, I make up for with hard work and actually moving the plates… It’s just… It is what it is… Whatever. If it helps, great… Happy to help and shit, yeah…

… Great, indeed. You know however that Noemi and Natasha can’t both make the Top 3 this time, don’t you…?

Wait, what…? Why?!

Because… Well, admittedly, it’s a flaw in the design thanks to the boys upstairs deciding to allow the fans to draw random lots on the matches rather than go straight to a Strong-vs-Weak seeding that’d toss many rookies to this contest out early… Yeah… Lesson learned! Your choices are a high chance of being 1 or even 2 of the top 3 though, good for you!

So then, let’s wrap this one up with the same opportunity as all the other ladies got, physique disregarded. Sound fair? Then I’m sorry to say, Salvatore will want a word if not a hand on you… Any final words to say to the beWilder public before bWW!23 ends for you?

*Pensive sigh*… I’ll say it again, I guess… I tried, alright? I took this thing seriously, I asked for votes, I admitted I wanted to win on to at least Round 2, but none of that mattered in the end. I wasn’t a total bitch about this one because I know people care about this even if it is a bit fucked up to pit us against each other, and honestly I thought it’d be nice to be “liked” for once and not just for what I sometime do on ‘BoaF’… F*ck it though. Y’all don’t like me as much as a corpse… I get it…

… But f*ck it if I’m changing for this shit… I’m not. My path’s already laid out at Little Toscana and I’m going to do what I’m going to do to help make it worth Noe’s while for helping me out, whatever it takes. If by the end you like me more or give even less of a shit… Fuck it. I’m here now. I mattered, and I know I’ve got a couple fans out there now… Maybe even as much as 10? Fuck…

Well, we’ll have some hot f*ckin’ times together yet, just you mother*cks wait and see. The rest of you… Enjoy your cold dead corpse of a winner and your stupid bullshit contest. I’ve got work to do, even if it is moving plates from 1 room to another and back in a stupid skirt…

That’s my setlist’s time, now bite me and piss off…

The whole gamut of emotions there folks, from self-pity to fury and gone with a mic drop, all in under 60 seconds of ranting! Wow. Well, that’s about it for our time between this match and the next, so soon we’d better start turning eyes towards a new pair of ladies to further fill the brackets. The show must go on, even without the backbone of a drummer for our songs!

This here is the part where I’d normally move over to take care of additional contest business, but not this time as Mystique’s set challenge from the last game… I’m sorry (not sorry) to say the fans didn’t reach the vote total for her naked “Imitation Game” at my expense… So Mr. Salvatore, if you will… She’s all yours to have the last word with. For once, I can breath easy at this point… *Contented sigh*…

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Well, well, well… If it isn’t the punky little stray that came to piddle on my street and found a bed beyond my enemies door… How are you, Ms. Blakey? Perhaps a little worse for wear in the ego department after your contest? Hrmm?

F*ck off. Why is it you always have some kind of doggy metaphor or whatever when you want to say something about me? And what bed? You don’t even know what you’re talking about, jackass. I’ve never slept with Noemi or whatever it is you mean…

Uh-huh. As interesting a fresco you paint for once aside for a moment, you’ve just answered your own question about why I see you as little more than a barking mutt whose only of note because of who holds your leash and issues commands… But let us save that for another day. I’d rather you and I, like all the women of Easy Street, start to build up a little trust between us… Open a personal dialogue you might say… Start the process of having you see me as somebody who can deliver on promises as long as you give me things I want in return… Yes…

… Now is the perfect opportunity to do just that. Little Star-child, or whatever your given name is, I’d like to commission your talents, if I may. For our next bout in this contest, should the fans show up and cast enough votes, I’d have you create for them a piece to show my gratitude. Anything you’d like to create or preform for us, curse words and all, I promise. My only condition… You employ the lovely Caroline as the foundation of your art. Do what you will to her flesh, or blood if Satan worship is strong in you this time of year, or simply have her cause a racket of noises as you play her like that bashy instrument you are so good at I’m told…

You mean play her like a drum kit?

Indeed, I do. *Muhaha*… So may I consider you open to us working together a while?

No. I’m not going to step on her like a kick drum pedal for this stupid contest thing’s benefit, even if she did say stupid things I kinda still want to rip her hair out over… But…

But…? So you do have a price… Well, spill it woman, we’re already running long here…

… But… Asswipe… If the fans vote enough… Can I get a shipment of Henna so I can art up her skin all over instead? That’ll get the T&A you want from her, won’t it? And I can finally f*ckin’ draw something again after weeks on this sand-in-my-crack shithole?

A live tattooing from beWilder Island….? Ho-ho! Yes, that can certainly be arranged with enough votes…! Let it not be the last time I say this to a Blakey, but we have a deal, you and I. *Lwed smirk*!

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*Gulp*… H-Henna is that temporary ink stuff made from flowers, right? R-Right…?... *Shudder*…

And… And there we have our 5th but not at all our final postgame post. Still about 10 to go plus the big winner’s time to shine after the finals as the cherry on top. But we can’t have any more exit interviews without exits, and so it’s time we turn to Match #6 and see which of the next pair of girls is reaching the end of their welcome on beWilder Island!

… Our next bout of pouts is a real contrast, even as it’s another OC vs OC contest in a row. In fact it’s our first ever OC girl to pick up a fancy as Kathrine “Kate” Johnstone, who’s first appearance goes all the way back to AoH v0.1, takes on Francesca “Frankie” Moreau, the one and only (thus far) actual Milfy Momma of the beWilderverse! Yes, it’s sass in a small package vs the sometimes dommy-Mommy in the fully matured figure. The rich little minx with a good girl façade against the uptight and held back woman waiting to unfurl! I could go on and on but you’ll see for yourselves soon enough as Match #6 starts in the coming days! It’ll be all you who decide who proceeds to the next round after all. So then, and until then…

Be staying on the island and beWilder!