NTR Plays D&D: Mob Goblins! (Patreon)

Hello and hey-hey, our beWildernaut friends and fans! We’re back up and at it once again, taking some time after our recent release to rest up our bodies, back up our important files, and most of all rev up our engines with some real fun! The weekend is now over and it’s time to put the boots back on for the month ahead, but not before we show y’all something real delightful (and deliver on the last of September’s outstanding promises). Who wants to see a battle going oh so wrong and oh so right for our girls in D&D land? We do, we do!

Now, we often say we had a lot of fun making this piece or that, and it’s certainly true we have our enjoyment along the way, but this… this one we had such a blast it rivals even Noemi’s (we mean Bella’s) magic! Everything flowed and felt just right, from the ice and fire effects to even how Frankie’s strap fails and Kelsey’s cape flutters around her opponent’s feet. Don’t take our word for it though, take a look for yourselves!

Lucky rolling everyone!

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Intro

Dungeon Master Eddy (DM): After causing a commotion at the local tavern, you have all banded together as one party. To pay off the damages caused to the bar, the furniture, the few unlucky bystander patrons and the houses next door, you have all agreed to rid the town of their Goblin problems… since the alternatives didn’t appeal to any of you…

Kriem: Like fuck they would! We’ve been playing this stupid game for like 2 hours now and it’s been all math, bullshit rules and I got threatened with jail for minding my own damn business because of Blondie… I thought this was supposed to be some fantasy shit, not reality!

Kelsey: *Chuckling* C’mon, you had as much fun turning that tavern upside down as I did! You never getta do that at Little Toscana, I did ya a favour girl… Plus now we’re friends in the game, so your very welcome.

Noe: Jesus… We play a game where you can be anything you want to be, and Kelsey is still Kelsey through and through… I thought this was supposed to be a game where we got to escape the real world for a while? Can we get on with it and not have me babysitting you both for an hour, please?

Frankie: Indeed. I was rather looking forward to being a powerful holy warrior, exploring my personal quest and learning all about this brave new world. Dealing with Goblins is a little disappointing to start, but I’ll work my way up if I must. Shall we girls?

DM: You can take the lead Mom… *err*… I mean, Paladin Franciska, you are likely one of the front row of the party anyway. You lead the rest of the group into the nearby warrens, as pointed out by the town Mayor before. It seems the Goblins have made themselves at home in an old open-air crypt of a fallen hero. How do you proceed?

Frankie: Oh… Well, I guess I lead the others inside to the main cavern and I… *emm*… I… politely knock and introduce our team as we enter…? Is that right, sweetheart?

DM: No Mom… And now you’re under attack by an ambush of Goblins… Roll initiative everyone, please.

Franciska

Frankie: I’d don’t want to hurt the little guys too badly, so I attempt to swat him back with my big shield as I jab him with my sword… Is that alright?

DM: Sure Mo- I mean, Franciska… I’ll just tone down the gory bits for you… Roll your d20, please, I’ll tell you what happens next…

Frankie: Ok… Ah, a ‘5’… That’s less than ideal, yes?

DM: Yes… You miss and cause no damage, but you manage to hold your ground from his assault.

Kelsey: (*Whispering*) *Psst* Dungeon boy, read this too, I’mma help ya out with making this interestin’.

DM: … Oh, and… *ehh*… and while you are hunkering down, your big tasty boob pops out of your armour where everyone can enjoy i- Oh God, I didn’t know it’d say that!

Frankie: *Gasp* Eddy! Mommy does not wish to expose herself to the little men…! To the… little…

Kel’sei

Kelsey: Too bad, that’s what happened! The DM said so, now it’s canon. Shouldn’t have rolled a ‘5’. Anyways, now it’s my turn! Let me in there, Kel-Kel wants to go Rogue up in here! I attack with my dagger. Knife’s out, life’s out, Gobblers!

DM: *Still blushing* Roll please…

Kelsey: And I gots a big ol’ ‘1’… No, wait… Hold on!

DM: That’s bad, a critical failure. You actually get a punishment for that…

Noe: Well, if she’s going to give Frankie grief, I’d say she deserves the same treatment, right girls?

DM: Right! You try to be stealthy but instead you just walk into a trap set by two Goblins who pounce on you. They tear your flimsy bodysuit armour open to expose both your small boobies, that together aren’t as big and lovely as one of Mo… *ugghh*…

Kelsey: Uh-huh… Easy up Oedipussy, she’s right there lookin’ at you. So let me get this straight… the little guys get grabby and expose my perky pair, even though they were already quite visible? Rough punishment, but I can take it… *Pfft*!

DM: Oh, right yeah… Well, then, the other Goblin humps your leg like a dog! That should be embarrassing. He’s trying to pull off your protective underwear as well, but you can use your reaction to-

Kelsey: Hold on. Gimme a minute to picture all this… My, my my, now this is a game! Alright, not how I envisioned this goin’ but I can work with this. Mischief is mischief after all! How much do these guys weigh? Can I swing them around with one arm, and also, is a handjob unarmed damage, or…?

Kriemhild

Noe: Eddy, don’t answer that. If Frankie wasn’t looking at you slack-jawed and frozen like she is right now after what you just said, she’d tell you none of us want to see this become a sex scene. Don’t engage her on her level. Let’s move on.

DM: Ok… But we’ll have to follow up on her next turn… Ah, Kriemhild, you’re next. H-How do you attack…? Do you want to help Kel’sei out of her grapple?

Kriem: Fuck her. She loves it anyway. I want to ram my sword into something, now. Make it a Goblin or I’m going to crush these fucking dice under my boot!

DM: *Gulp* Roll please…

Kriem: ‘19’… That’s good right? I fucking hit, or is there some bullshit thing that you mention now to fuck me up too?

DM: That’s not only a hit, your racial traits mean that it’s a Brutal Critical! You could roll damage, but you’re doing to do twice his health at least so it’s way dead. Well done!

Kriem: Right through his fucking face! Finally, this stupid game is getting cool! Only after I beat this foot-tall shit, you and me are going to talk about what the fuck you mean by ‘racial trait’.

DM: It’s the bonus you get for being half-orc! It’s on your sheet right in front of you… Oh God… Look, one of the Goblins got a ‘1’ also, so can we forget I said anything if you can be the one to hold him into the stone brazier as he dies?

Kriem: Fuckin’ A… Am I Badass or what?

Bella-Noema

Noe: Very. Finally found a place where you can get out your anger, huh? About time. My turn, right? At last. What’s the situation? I can still save this car crash, right?

DM: Not by yourself, but you can start the turn around. So far Mo- Franciska I mean, is holding back a pair of Goblins, Kel’sei is… I better not say, and Kriemhild is on a rage rampage… You’ve only got one Goblin to deal with by yourself…

Noe: Alright… then let’s see if I can get people to chill like at work… Can I use this spell right now?

DM: Yes, if you roll for me...

Noe: Come on, high number! Mamma wants some fancy icecubes for her post-quest Rossini! ‘14’…! That’s good enough to hit, right…? Right?! Don’t tell me I’m getting stripped down too.

DM: N-No…! You hit! You definitely hit… *Whispered* I’m kind of disappointed though… I… Why?

Noe: Boom! A new statue to line my noble family’s hall! See that, girls? that’s how the boss gets it done! Some fellas just can’t handle a woman’s touch. Ha!

Kriem: Hey boss? You think you can get Frankie to come out of her frozen state now so she can have her next turn…?

DM: Mom…? Mom, are you alright? It’s your turn again…

Kelsey: Y’know, this game is always said to be for nerds, but Hell if I ain’t havin’ so much fun. We’re playing this more often, right?

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So, was that Brave enough for you? Funny, since the girls’ bravery got them in that trouble in the first place! Well that’ll be that from our NTR girls for a little while, as we trade in the tight uniforms and now the fantasy leathers for more mission suits and stiletto heeled spy action. We’ll see that made official in the next day or so in another post, for now though enjoy this special sweetness! Ah, but y’all Braves will still see Noemi this month, circa the 15th or so, since this is last month’s reward bonus and not this month’s! Off we go to get suited up then, enjoy the girls getting suited down! Until then…

Be mobbing your best girl (carefully or critically) and beWilder!