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Check in! (Patreon)

Published:
2018-10-13 05:09:42
Imported:
2022-01

Content

How we are doing ? Any funny stories?
Banter?

Let’s hear them!!!

Comments

Anonymous

First!

Anonymous

Hi G!!! No funny stories, just looking forward to my weekend, hope you have a great one!

Anonymous

Anything as long as i can hear your voice Gael

Anonymous

I skinned my knee falling off a Bird scooter today.. looked way funnier than it sounds 😹😹

Anonymous

G'mornin Gael!!! Happy Saturday 💋

Anonymous

Woah, early bird!

Anonymous

Currently kinda drunk

Anonymous

Cracks me up seeing the rush to be first, lol.

Anonymous

Not quiet a funny story but I’m turning my family’s basement into a mini-apartment and it’s going swimmingly!

Anonymous

Hello, nothing too exciting happening but it’s fine 😊

Anonymous

No funny stories, per se, at least none come to mind. We just finished our first quarter of the school year, man it's flying by. So that's good. One of my twofer's (a.k.a. my school kids) as I call my kids who I get for 7th and then 8th grade told me she loved me yesterday, I think she meant it as I'm her school mom. I was a bit upset last week as a dear co-worker's cancer has returned, at 32 she's so young for it. I teared up going to class and that same kid told me later she almost started crying because she saw I was crying. Really warms your heart that these kiddos can be so sweet.

Anonymous

Nothing funny to tell but I am getting my puppy in a couple days! 😍

Ludmilita

No funny story today. Lot of people were let go at the office today, so I'm kinda holding on here.

Anonymous

Hey, G! I’m doing great! How are you doing? 😁 I don’t have any funny stories at the moment, soooo I’ll just say what I’m up to right now. It’s currently 1:13 am and I’m up late like the night owl I am, playing Resident Evil 5. I’m also a gamer nerd 🤓

Anonymous

I got a 100% on my physics midterm yesterday haha 😊😊😊😊😊😊🤩🤩🤩🧠💪💪💪 thanks

Anonymous

If you wear cowboy clothes, are you Ranch Dressing?🤔

Anonymous

Not so much on the funny side. Just trying to be civil in a disagreement where the other girl can’t make up her mind, and trash talks me to everyone under the sun. 🙃 On the bright side, I’m actually able to sleep again thanks to you!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ It’s been amazing. Actually, something funny did happen. It’s raining here, and I went to take my dog out. He took one step out in the rain, stood there for a couple seconds, and turned around to go back inside. Now, he barks at the thunder to scare it away. He’s my little protector. ❤️😊❤️

Cherry Riley

I have to weatherize my windows for winter but I can't find my hairdryer to activate the shrink wrap effect of the kit. Who loses a hairdryer? They are big! Lol Me, that's who. Now the question is...where would I hide it?

Anonymous

I work at a diner, and while thinking about our specials for the day, I accidentally called my coworker "biscuit" She said "that's ok muffin!"

Anonymous

What is a cold canine? A Chilli Dog! 😜

Anonymous

Just want to say hello!! I'm a new patron and I've been thinking about pledging for over a year-- finally did it! Lots of love for all you do 💕

Anonymous

was doing the dishes last night and was super tired after a long day, was drying off a saucepan and somehow (please don’t ask me how i genuinely have no idea) I managed to hit myself right in the face with said saucepan😂😂 needless to say hurt like a bitch and woke me right up🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Anonymous

Too excited to sleep after watching baseball!

Anonymous

Not a funny story, but it is interesting. My best friend got married on the 6th of October and one of our friends drank waaay too much booze during the reception. She was hitting on every guy there, including the groom. I had to constantly watch her, like a babysitter, and she kept talking about how much better her wedding was going to be... What makes this story even better is I'm a year and a half younger than her.

Anonymous

G what are you doing up this early?! Lol Nothing going on with me as of late. Other than not getting to work because I’m almost at my max hours I can work for the year, thank you USA government 🤦🏼‍♀️ don’t worry my hours start back up again on Monday. (My work has a summer and winter season so it’s not like a full calendar year. It’s very confusing haha) I also got my first tattoo on Wednesday, and now I feel like a badass. Haha As funny stories goes, this might only be funny to me, but the last time I did work (I work at a living history museum where I get to dress up and act as if I live in 1836) I was playing the very bitch sister of the town founders wife, she’s the town equivalent of Regina George from mean girls, it also happened to be mean girls day, so I was being a bitch over dramatic and I was saying how the house we were in was the nicest in town but nothing like the houses in Lexington, Kentucky, (where my character lives) and how I guess the house is fine for a town like the one we are in. The gust I was telling that to kinda was like ohh okay and walked away and says to the people she’s with “Well are we being a bit prissy today!” Now if I wasn’t in character I would have found that a bit rude but, I was in fact being “prissy” that’s my characters whole thing, but I’ve never had a guest actually say something to me (or in ear shot of me) about it! It took everything in me not to burst out laughing. Hahah 🤷🏼‍♀️🤣

Anonymous

Not funny exactly but it made me chuckle a little. Since I have started listening to you're work my confidence has just skyrocketed and evidently its showing. My husband (who has been quite neglectful as of late if you know what i mean *wink*) came home all in a huff because his golf buddies had pointed out to him how saucy i have been and how good im looking. I told him "see buddy you better pay more attention cuz obviously others are and they might just tempt me away.

Anonymous

No funny stories for me but here's a joke for ye.. Husband is walking behind his wife and says, "Your bottom is getting so big it looks like an old washing machine." The Wife keeps quiet and keeps walking. Bedtime comes around, the Husband starts getting amorous. Wife says: "I'm not starting the old washing machine for such a small load. You'll have to do it by hand!"

Anonymous

I don’t really know what to put cause I’m a nervous human but love ya Gael and I hope one day I can actually email you about how much you have helped me. But I’m the while, here’s a joke ❤️ Dr O'Mahony tells his patient: "I have bad news and worse news, John." "Oh dear," John replies. "What's the bad news?" asks the patient. The doctor replies: "You only have 24 hours to live." "That's terrible," says the patient. "How can the news possibly be worse?" Dr O'Mahony replies: "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday."

Anonymous

A man took his date to the zoo, they were disappointed to find it contained one animal....it was a shitzu. Badumpa! Yeah, that's bad, but funny since I Love the lil yappy dogs, lol

Soraya The Admiral

New Patron! Hi! I just watched Over the Garden Wall for the first time and I'm never sleeping again. :)

Saya J

LOL random nerdiness, but I just learned that the old Star Wars EU had an in-universe toy called Darth Tater, basically a Mr. Potato-Head toy that looks like Vader, and that he's apparently from the planet Potatooine.😂😂😂Just...Why?!?!?!?😵

Full_Metal_Angel

So last night my friends and I were driving along the road and the girl driving had no idea there was a cop behind us and she wasn't sure if she could turn in time so she slammed on her breaks and the cop pulled in front of us to chase someone who had gone through a red light. At this point my friend has just realised seen the lights flashing and basically crapped herself she was like so scared but we eventually got to the petrol station in the end. While we were there one of the guys went in to get chips and the three of us in the car hear the sirens of a passing cop car as we were waiting for him. At that moment of hearing the sirens the girl who had been scared shitless before yells "THEY'RE COMING BACK FOR ME" and the two of us in the car start pissing ourselves laughing. While the guy comes back out from getting his chips he asks if we heard the sirens we all reply yes and we reply by telling him what had just happened and he responds to that by saying "I thought that was what would happen"

Anonymous

No banter, but if you want a funny story, you could always just go look in the mirror. Muahaha. Just kidding. Sort of. 😅😜

Missy Brie

Hey Gael! I'm so ready for my weekend (that isnt until monday) so I'm hanging in there. But it's a beautiful day so thats a definite mood lifter. How's this for funny, few nights ago I dreamed I had a major assignment over due by two whole weeks that I hadn't even started yet and was freaking out over. I was still panicking for a full ten minutes after waking up.......I graduated high school 5 years ago! 😶 How's your day going?

Anonymous

Guy set a Guinness record for number of walnuts cracked with his head. 🙂 <a href="https://youtu.be/i1PQX64cTgY" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">https://youtu.be/i1PQX64cTgY</a>

Anonymous

Howdy howdy!!!! ❤ Id just like to say that your work is addictive, my friends and i LOVE it. and as far as funny things go... hmm... its not particularly funny, but we had a wonderful time yesterday playing different songs for my neice and watching her dance xD (shes not even 2, its the cutest thing). So happy and carefree though, brings a smile to my face every time.

Anonymous

I'm drinkiyat the bar with my good friends!! Having a lot of fun!

Ana (Atomic Angel)

On a recent trip back from a national show, my brothers and I got into a text conversation that started with an article about the hockey team from Detroit and the custom of throwing octopuses out onto the ice. (I had a driver - being safe and all). It devolved quickly into a discussion about tentacle porn (because I was part of the conversation - eldest sibling as instigator). Being the huge nerds we are, it became a hockey-octopus and tentacle porn poetry contest with haiku, 3 forms of sonnets, limericks, and slam poetry. Just as it devolved into a discussion about zombies and sex toys (and more poetry), I noticed that my mom had been included in the group text and she chimes in gleefully that she had been watching the whole conversation. One poem for example, more examples if you ask for them (the rest are mostly naughty): Shakespearean Sonnet- Eight Octopus tentacles out on the ice Cold now and stiff with the passage of time Game after game like a toss of the dice Fish scented joy of a much warmer clime Net unto net did the octopus fly Dark into light was he hastily brought Tender and moist with a glittering eye Flying out where the two teams have just fought Painfully shy in the perilous dark Flung out in wet celebration of joy A moment to be an arcing bright spark Tossed by the arm of a sodden small boy All joy has ended in sudden cold pain A life extinguished, a fishy small stain.

Anonymous

A guy walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm. He says to the bartender, "I'll take a beer, and one for the road." Just a silly joke I heard.

Anonymous

Oh yes.... That man at work. Had to make a Rx of his whole mouth... So I took him to the Rx room. Asked him to remove his denture teeth and his neck chain and to wait a minute because a doctor called me. OK. So when I came back to him, and I see that the man is in all his glorious underwear (...) in the middle of the room.. Why did you got undressed? I asked. "Because of the Rx" he answers back. NOOOO!!! Please, get dressed again, it's only your mouth I'm gonna take a Rx, there's no need to get naked!!! (I went out and closed the door as I didn't know if to laugh - that I did- or hide myself under a rock... ) 😨😨😂😂😂

Anonymous

Good morning, G!😙❤ It's more cute than funny, but I went to see a friend who I hadn't seen in person in a little bit, and her 4 dogs were so excited and happy to see me that they wouldn't leave my side. Everywhere I sat down they were all over me, and it was like I had my own personal puppy blanket.😄😍 One of them is pretty huge, too. Way too big to be a lap dog. She's a German Shepherd, but the biggest one I've ever met. I joke around with my friend that she's a dire German Shepherd, and belongs on of Game of Thrones.😂

Anonymous

I just woke up 😴😴😴 Good morning everyone! 💕 That is if you’re east of the Atlantic! 😜

Anonymous

To bad I was too late to talk to you G. 😕

Anonymous

When a male octupus finds a mate, he rips of his penis and throws it at the female so she can inseminate herself. Then the mals grows a new penis. If this isn't the most epic way to tell someone "go fuck yourself" I don't know what it is...

Gri (Sassy_One)

Morn to ya, night to me😴 No funny stories, just really, really bad jokes So...what do you call a masturbating cow? 🐄🤔 Beef stroganoff🤷🏻‍♀️😂😜

Anonymous

Oh, though of a funny one. So, I'm in a classroom across the way from mine during my free period. The bell rings and a couple kids show up as I'm finishing up my conversation. I had left my classroom door open and I decide to take a few minutes to see how my kids will react. Two kind of peak their heads in but my student, whose nickname is Ramen Noodles, zooms in and then I keep seeing flashes of his shirt through the door. Finally, I go to inspect. Dude is gleefully speed walking circles though the aisles of my classroom. 🙄 These kids. 🤣🤣

Anonymous

Went to downtown today and got a bit high cause the whole downtown smells like weed :/

Anonymous

Ciao from Italy. I just threw 3 coins in the Fontana of Trevi😊 Have a good weekend!

Anonymous

I'm off to bed now, fuck, it's almost 2 am my time.. Okay lads, have fun and no wet dreams for me I promise!!! 🤓🤓🤓 hehe

Anonymous

Morning everyone! 🤗 Just trying to enjoy my days off as much as I can! Enjoyed a day trip with my sister yesterday, though my feet are killing me now, haha. Today off to meet with my old coworkers and dance some in the evening... only to return to the best place on Earth where I can enjoy the stars in peace ❤️✨✨

Anonymous

Oyyy. Thought I was gonna get the apartment to myself this evening but the roommate and her obnoxious boyfriend finally just showed up. So much for the raucous solo sexytimes I had planned. Meanwhile they are probably wishing I wasn't home. Who's cock-blocking who? LOL

Angel Martin

I just turned in my last assignment for my TEFL course! Soon as I finish the practicum I’m ALL DONE!

Violet Grey

A few years ago back at uni my course was doing a show and me and my friend were double cast as the leads. In one scene, I basically had to run up to him and snog his face off 😨 Our lecturer as she was directing said to me "Well (character) is very dominant and gets what she wants, especially in the bedroom." My friend is gay and I'd never had a boyfriend at the time, and we both looked at each other like, "How the hell's this gonna work??!!" 😂 After that, every time we did a scene where I had to try and "seduce" him he kept pulling my leg about he "he loved a dominant woman!" 😂 Have a good weekend Gael! 😊

Anonymous

One more joke and I'm out I promise lol.. A young Chinese couple get married. She's a virgin, and truth be told he's a virgin too, but she doesn't know that. On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness. He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring. "My darring," he whispers, "I know dis you firss time and you berry frighten." "I pomise you, I give you anyting you wan, I do anyting - juss anyting you wan, You juss ask. Whatchu wan?' he says, trying to sound experienced and worldly, which he hopes will impress her. A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request. She eventually shyly whispers back, "I want to try someting I have heard about from other girls... numbaa 69." More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone he asks her... "You really wanting... Garric Chicken with Corrifrowa?"

Cas

What on earth are you doing up so early my dude? Hope you got enough sleep and life is being nice to you in your corner of the world. I’m excited for the rest of the weekend since me and best friend have plans centered around finally getting to work on finding a place to rent together so I’m very 😁❗️❗️❗️ Now recently funny stories... well it’s been enough hours that I can laugh at it now so— Here’s one from just this morning. My own started rather early at around 4AM when my mother called me. My mother who is currently doing work as an English Teacher in Cambodia and still hasn’t quite grasped the extent of the time difference yet. Now most of the time I have my phone on silent but since I’m on shift and on call besides in case my boss needs to get ahold of me welp! So it’s 4am, phone goes off, I’m half blinded it but manage to read the word MOM and realize I’m gonna have to be somewhat cordial despite feeling anything but. So I answer and she asks me how I’m doing. Now it’s 4am, this call woke me out of a dead sleep, I’m little more then half awake still. So naturally when I went to answer with “I’m good.” But on the thought’s way to my mouth it decided to change it to “I’m okay.” things got confused and what ended up coming out was “I’m GAY.” 🙃🙃🙃 And that dear Gael is how at 25 I finally came out as bi to my mother who was surprisingly chill with it once she finally managed to stop laughing at my mouths betrayal and asked me to clarify 😂. Not how I’d have planned it but there you go! Anyways, good morning and here’s hoping yours isn’t quite as eventful as mine and if it is it’s all due to good things!

Anonymous

I started a new job last week . . . Told the person on the other end of the phone to have a lovely day, got back "thanks, love you, bye" 😂😂😂

Anonymous

7% of Americans think brown cows make chocolate milk............FFS😳🤣Probably the same dip-shits who think the GENDER of a siblings child determines if you're an aunt or uncle.

Anonymous

I don’t have any funny stories atm but earlier today, I saw a random man walking around town wearing this one piece, latex playsuit sort of thing. He had a mask on, a whip and he was also chained. Nipples exposed. He was just casually walking around with his mates. Nbd. And then another man wearing a giant banana costume with a tutu, also walking around with his mates. 😬😬😬 Just another day, I guess. 😂

Anonymous

I just woke up 😊 morning ❤

Cherry Riley
>>16278033

Okay, that story got me. Lol I would have been so tempted to follow them and find out the backstory to that. 😂

Anonymous

my neighbors have a party which is horrible because it's 3 in the morning, and the funniest thing? my headphones broke. there is no Gael for me today 😂 sorry for my english 😂😅

Anonymous

Morno Wordlings 🖐 Oki so I just came back from my morning (forest) walk and there I saw alot of lovers' names carved in a tree ....well honestly I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date 🌳🤺 😂😂 #killme

Anonymous

I just joined Patreon a few days ago after finding Gael on Youtube and I've been trying to catch up so I've been binging on these audios. I decided to listen to some on my run the yesterday. At first I was doing pretty well, just biting my lip occasionally and smiling like an idiot but nothing too noticeable. Well, right as I'm about to pass an adorable old couple sitting on a park bench, I let out an involuntary "UNF". They looked at me with the strangest faces.! I don't think I can handle taking Gael with me in public anymore...D'oh! Anyway, I'm SO happy I joined this community. Everyone seems so lovely! Have a great day/night everybody!

Anonymous

My Nana told me she hoped that my brother’s fiancé was catholic. I go “they said they are, but they’re oddly...happy, for Catholics”. My Nana (imagine a 90 y/o judge Judy) says w/ a straight face “hm, must be Irish catholic, that’s fine then”. 🤣 🇮🇪

Gaelforce
>>16277253

Aqwww If they let you go it’s their loss! You’ll be on your feet in no timet. ❤️

Anonymous
>>16278102

First thing on to-do list: BUY NEW HEADPHONES!! Your English is great BTW

Anonymous
>>16278029

Oh really...where can I find those cows. I love chocolate milk 😂😂

Anonymous
>>16278113

Good morning and welcome 😊... Yeah most of us know this *problem* too - every time a challenge 😂😅

Ana (Atomic Angel)
>>16277590

No takers? Too nerdy-weird? Ah, well, never mind, sorry. *slinks back into lurker limbo and remembers why she doesn’t talk to people unless forced* Off to play the cello, then.

Anonymous

My cousin went with me to the gyno for my appointment and they thought we were morman sister wives.

Anonymous

Sup, G? Here’s some silliness from my day today: The CEO of the company I work for wanted us to submit ideas for the upcoming year. Since I’m the video person at the company, I figured I should submit mine in video form. So, I film myself talking about my ideas, and while I’m editing, I realize that at the end of the video, I do this head tilt/shrug like I’m in the intro for a 90s sitcom. So I decide to lean into it - I turn it into a freeze frame &amp; have “Directed by Becky” come on screen in the Full House font at the end of the video while the Full House theme music plays ( 🎶 Everywhere you look, everywhere you look!!! 🎶) I’m a wackadoodle!🤓🤪 <img src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/agZ0qQ8lYDk/hqdefault.jpg">

Anonymous

Hello! ... sorry. No banter, no funny stories... just trying to get by for now. I am, however, glad to see there is so much happiness out there in Gaelandia

Anonymous

Btw could you say high to Seanie and tell him to call me back. I've got some weedy jokes for him. Thank you G. 🤗

Anonymous

Morning! Just woke up so no banter yet, but who knows there might be, we'll find out as the day goes on 😂 other than that all is good thankfully

Anonymous

It's my birthday today. But this is so far buried in the comments you probably won't see it. Middle age ... meh. 👸🎂🌻

Anonymous

No banter or funny stories here. I'm not having a great time atm tbh. But reading this thread has really cheered me up, and for the first time in a long time I can finally afford to buy a decent pair of winter boots that won't fall apart by the spring. Which is handy, considering I can currently poke a finger through the holes in the boots I have now, and being the north of England in autumn it rains approximately 23 hours a day

Anonymous
>>16277452

Welcome 😊... Take a seat and enjoy the show 😂😇

Anonymous

Nothing really new to tell. got to see the game of thrones live concert experience on Tuesday and it was amazing. But I also had a setback in my plans to live on my own, something I've never done. I'm just really trying not to let that get me down, but it's not easy. I just have to hang in there and make some other life changes first and remind myself that, just because I can't do it when I wanted to, doesn't mean that I will never reach that goal.

Kerrie Virginia (Gaelandia's Mildly Amusing Ambivert)

(Skip to the last paragraph for a Mildly Amusing Tale) Always late to these things, which I suppose is fine, since I've nothing of recent interest to add... however, I am very excited that the weather has finally turned and I no longer feel obligated to shower thrice daily to cleanse the constant sweat from my body (produced by nothing more than existing in actual hell) or to simply maintain a bearable body temperature... it's currently 11:21pm, 71° F/21° C, and I'm sitting on my front porch in a tank top shipping on ice water... now the ritual of soakin' up the cold for as long as I can in preparation for next summer begins... In other, not-so-fun news... approximately 1300 of my fellow co-workers in Lynn Haven, FL (not where I live - it's a big comapny) were seriously impacted by hurricane Michael... the one guy I work really closely with (remotely, of course) and his family are safe, but there are some reports of folks that evacuated and then came back to discover they had lost absolutely everything... on a more encouraging and related note, the company that just announced they are acquiring our contract from the company we currently work for heard that news and immediately donated $20,000 to relief efforts over there... we aren't even officially their employees yet... this could be encouraging news... it's also rumored that they provide puppies to play with to people who are waiting for interviews... I kinda wanna quit and re-apply 😊... And finally - a little funny... many moons ago, my boyfriend at the time and I decided to go camping a few hours north of where I live in a place neither of us had ever been to before... the first night we were there we... *ahem*... became quite twisted (drunk) and ended up playing a few rounds of Naked Magic the Gathering (any über nerds around?) in the tent... the tent flap was slightly ajar and the tent itself was oriented in such a way that, if it weren't dark and if I had actually been wearing my glasses, I could see my car parked several feet away... at some point during the game, I noticed the faint blur of my car's dome light shining in the night... I immediately turned to my boyfriend and said, "Dude - baby! There's someone in my car!"... he, being the hippy-esque, Viking wannabe that he was, promptly popped out of the tent - butt naked - to check it out... a little visual, if you will - he was about 5'9" and 200 pounds of long, flowie-haired, fur-covered glory (you're welcome!)... so he picks up the shovel by the fire pit and proceeds to march toward my car with bulldog-like purpose... I lean to my left and squint my eyes to try and watch as his substantial shadow gets smaller and smaller as he approaches my car... I see his blurry outline as he flings open the driver's side (left, near side) door, pokes his head around inside and then slams it shut before heading to the other side where he does the same with the passenger door... a few seconds after slamming the passenger door shut, I see the light inside the car start to fade as he heads back toward the tent, tosses the shuffle back down by the fire pit and crawls back inside... I stare at him as he picks up his masterfully selected deck of black and red Magic cards... I wait as patiently as I can while he makes a selection and the I ask, "Well??"... without looking at me, he pauses, tosses a card on the floor between us and replies, "You forgot to close your door." Have a great weekend, everyone! 🤗

Anonymous

Nothing funny or anecdotal to report. This week the place where I worked was audited which meant I was in the office till 11pm most nights and would come home and carry on working till 1am then be back in for 5am the next day. Busy busy and extremely exhausting. The tension was palpable for the three days it happened but it's over now and all was good. One thing that was amazing though was how much as a team we banded together in time of stress. Everyone was going out of their way to help one another and the was a lot of unity we all pulled together so that was so nice to be a part of. Hope you're all well. I'm going back to sleep lol xxxxx

Anonymous
>>16278595

Sending you hugs and love. Hope you have a fun time shopping for those boots xx

Anonymous

Well good news for me this week I’m about to begin a new job at a hospital and my salary is an $8 dollar raise from what I’m currently making so praise the Lord for better jobs am I right? 🤙🏻

Anonymous

Happy weekend everyone! *peaks blearily out from the covers, wondering if the hangover is going to hit* Was at a team night in at our boss' house last night, so the wealth of random info stored in my noggin came in handy. Turns out I know nothing about celebrities though 😂 Hope you have a wonderful weekend. I will be spending mine at the ice rink (no surprise there) once I've drank a few more pints of water. *pulls the duvet back up to hide from the light*

Anonymous
>>16278957

Wow! Definitely praise worthy news! Congratulations Jo!

Angela R.

I've told this one before, but it's a goodie: My man and I had some ambient music playing and were in the middle of...stuff. We were really into it when "Never be rude to an Arab" (Monty Python) came on. We looked at each other and bust out laughing. Needless to say, the mood was over. I can't hear it without revisiting that moment. On a more personal note, I'm leaving my night nursing job to be a personal nurse for a wonderful pediatrician. It's a dream come true! I love you all, my lovelies and our illustrious and sexy Mayor! Be well and happy. Xoxo

Anonymous

Good morning! Have a great weekend everyone! Want to hear a slightly embarrassing autocorrect story? I already told this story a while ago to some of the girls on Sugar, but I think it's too good not to share here too. 😂 So, I wanted to send a guy I work with a message, teasing him about his reputation being ruined. Only my phone changed ruine to..... URINE! 😱 The message I sent was “did you urinate your reputation?“ 🙈🙉🙊

Anonymous
>>16279072

Lmao!! That is priceless and omg i would have been mortified!

Anonymous
>>16277952

Omg!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣😆😂🙃🤣that is hilarious!

Terry

I have a funny story gael but im the only one that doesnt find it funny. I was out last night at this awful pub that didnt play music so i got really drunk and my friend told me that i got up and started asking for music and then i started singing loudly as they said that they wouldnt play music then i orderd a beer and then i tried to sit up on a high stool at this high table and because im a short ass i fell off of it sideways and me being me i grabbed my glass instead of the table :/ my friend looked down and i was laying on the ground still holding my glass, coverd in beer and falling asleep. im mortified :/

Anonymous

Nothing funny to talk about for a while now... I just have games, audios and sleep. Terribly sick and my eyes are super sensitive to light right now, so I've become a cavewoman... 😞

Anonymous

About a month ago, my brother had come to visit and he was just going through my iPad, somehow he ended up in the gallery and the second I entered my room, through the corner of my eye I could see that he saw the one and only picture of a guy in there.It was that one pic Gael had posted on Twitter with the greyish tank top, and I could see him trying to figure out who that could be, needless to say I left the room as quickly as possible and that picture is now deleted. It’s weird, because I usually am very open about all the crushes I have but this one well, let’s say I would rather keep it to myself.

Anonymous
>>16278693

At first I thought "Naked Magic the Gathering" was a euphemism for sex, but then realized later in your comment that you were literally playing Magic: The Gathering naked 🤔<br><br>I’m officially declaring<i> "playing Naked Magic: The Gathering" </i>to be a euphemism for sex! 🤓👍 <img src="http://www.magicdeckbuilder.com/public/cards/1-Illegal/2-Instants/Sex%20Appeal.jpg">

Kaylee Alamaa

I’m going to South Korea in less than a month. That’s kinda a thing lol

Anonymous

it’s not thaaat funny, but I just got my first Brazilian wax. I was laying there, terrified and awaiting my fate while this stupid fucking “relaxing” spa music was playing and I was going to take the speaker and smash it on the ground LMAO. And when I had to put my leg up, I flinched when she waxed me and almost kicked the lady. Pretty sure she waxed off part of my soul in the process but I AM ALIVEEEE

Anonymous

Happy Saturday! What did the farmer say to the cows last night?🐄 It's pasture bedtime😁Have a great weekend everyone!!

Anonymous

Hallo Gael! Nothing much is up about me apart from the pile of books I need to read and data presentations I have to make, but I'm very thankful I had the time to play around here today. This place means so much to me and your community always reminds me to push through and be better. Wish you all the best, lad! 😘😘😘

Anonymous

I’ve got a funny story! I was getting ready for work the other day and part of my morning routine involves popping in my earbuds and listening to a meditation app on my phone. I am having a great morning...very zen...ready to face the day....slay dragons, conquer villages....you know, the usual...I’m about to head out the door...and I remember that I need to grab my earbuds. I am looking for them but I can’t find them anywhere. Now I’m getting annoyed because for fuck’s sake I literally just had them! And I live alone so it’s not like someone else could have taken them. So here I am, ripping my house apart for like 15 minutes...about to Ginger Snap...thinking I am totally wasting this meditation I am listening to...when I just happen to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror...and I find my earbuds... They. Are. In. My. Ears...I. Am. Listening. To. Something. Using. Them. 🤦‍♀️ #Iamaresponsibleadult #Iaminchargeofstuff #Peopleexpectmetomakedecisions #IthoughtIwasBatmanbutIwaswrongIneededcoffee #Isitjustmewhodoesthis #silentblissisgone #Gingersnapped #facepalm

Anonymous
>>16280609

*Bundles you up in a massive squeezy hug* You mean so much to us too Goldiebean 🤗

Kerrie Virginia (Gaelandia's Mildly Amusing Ambivert)
>>16280823

Don't worry, sweetie... I've done exactly the same with keys (that were in my hand),eyelasses (that were on my face) and even my phone, once (that I was TALKING TO SOMEONE ON!!!)... that's what happens when yer so busy thinking of so many other fabulous things! 😋

Anonymous

So one St. Patty's Day I was helping an older lady with food prep for a party. We decided to transfer the pre-made frozen clam chowder from one big container to another so it would cook better. She needed help transferring because it was such a big container and she couldn't do it herself. I held one end of the pot and she held the other. Wouldn't you know it her wrist just gave in and the clam chowder went all over the two of us. Did I mention clam chowder is like the worst smelling thing to me? I had to continue on with helping her as I resisted the urge to gag and throw up all morning. We still laugh about it to this day, though. 😂

Anonymous

Happy weekend! It’s pumpkin carving and a Halloween festival for me and my 3 year old. She’s already chosen and assigned pumpkins to everyone. Based on SIZE. 😳 lol I dodged a bullet and was assigned the “medium” pumpkin because, bless her little heart, she thinks mama is medium sized 😂😂😂

Anonymous

Good morning! Nothing funny to report. But i have something cute happen the other day. Had a customer with a young child come in and the little guy randomly yelled out high five to me. XD and I’m like aaaaw and we fived.

Anonymous

XD I’m throw a joke in as well. Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? .......because he had no body to go with him.

Anonymous

Morning!! So my line of work is HR. I had a new hire reach out to my about benefits through instant message. I’m an Apple user at home, so I wasn’t aware of “shortcuts” on Windows. I was explaining about his 401(k) and apparently when you type “(k)” in instant message it turns to a kissy face emoji! (Faepalm) so then I immediately try to correct it and it did it again 😩 so here I am in HR, where you’re supposed to be the most professional, and I’m sending new hires answers to their benefits questions with this: 😘 He was really sweet about it but I was sooo embarrassed 😩 😂😂😂

Too

Nothing funny, except apparently my body gave itself a new bedtime. Not super handy for a college student but I'm feeling restful whether I want to or not 😂

Anonymous
>>16279344

I’m not laughing at you necessarily but I am laughing at the visuals 😂😂 LOL girl don’t worry bout it! Most of us have humiliated ourselves after a few too many. In my house, we say “chuck it in the Fuck It bucket and move on”, but I have to agree that not having music when you’re drinking is kind of the worst and if I see there, I would have joined your protest! 😂😂 thanks for the giggles!

Anonymous
>>16280388

I had her stop halfway through my first time because it sucked!! I had to just finish shaving at home. Needless to say, when it was time for “grooming” again, let’s just say that I only had to shave the right side for a few weeks 😂😂😂

Anonymous

I have nothing new to mention, other than what I’ve already mentioned on the community page. My life’s been pretty crazy and hectic, but I’m pushing through it and beginning to feel a little bit better every day.

Anonymous

Good morning, G! Here’s a story from last Friday night (my Fridays aren’t what they used to be). My kids and I were at a friend’s house for a pizza party. Some other parents and I were standing in the kitchen talking when the hostess’s four-year-old walks in and says, “Mommy, I need a lighter.” She grabs the one she keeps on her counter for candles and says “here ya go” and he walks away with it. We all just stared at her wondering if that really just happened. It turns out she knew he was helping his dad light the campfire in the backyard so his request made perfect sense to her, but the rest of us had been inside so we were just wondering if we needed to find new friends!

Anonymous

So I went to my uni library today hoping to pick up some books for my assignment. After a long uber ride I found out that the library is closed!!! With no other choice I got into an uber again and go to the local district library only to be disappointed again because it is such a lovely place but there aren't many books and the books are probably older than my parents combined! Stayed for around two hours, borrowed two books hoping they will, to an extent, help me out with my assignment although they're not actually on point with what I'm looking for. Sighs. Why did I choose to go back to uni again.

Anonymous

Nothing of particular interest going on here....been working on some music for my next concert series for Christmas 🎄 Going out for lunch today with my girlfriends who are the same 4 women that I travel with and have known since high school!!!❤️ Then off to go see “A Star is Born” hoping you all have a beautiful weekend! 🤗😘

Ellen (Gaelandia's Chief Justice and Personal Trainer)

I went to a local festival this week and had no idea they had a tradition of throwing confetti. Turns out, it’s more of an OBSESSION than a tradition. Everyone from the ages of 2 to elderly folks in wheelchairs were throwing confetti at one another. We were caught by surprise but quickly joined in. The road looked like snow, and when we got home and undressed for bed, HUNDREDS of little pieces of paper spilled out. Taking off my bra was like a little celebration. 😂

Anonymous

Things are a bit better here. I'm joining a UFC gym this weekend so I can learn jujitsu and boxing. I'm starting intermittent fasting up again on sunday (where I'll be fasting for 16hours and eating in an 8 hour window) for 5 days. I tried it out beginning of this month and it really screwed with my hormones, so I'm hoping this time will be better. I've been going to the gym maybe 3 times a week recently. Doing my 5-20-20-15 workout that I made up. 5 minutes cardio warmup, 20 minutes weights, 20 minutes cardio, then 15 of stretching. It's been upping my endurance slowly, but I still cant lift very heavy weights. But I'll get there! I'm so excited for thanksgiving next month because my Great Pyrenees (Flapjack) and I will be driving back to Ohio to see my whole family. I think they're more excited to see my pup than me haha. But I'll get to see me other coven members as well so I'm definetly gonna enjoy that! Hoping things are going easy for ya Gael!

Anonymous
>>16282126

Haha, taking off my bra is a celebration for me every day (for reasons that have nothing to do with confetti). The girls, they yearn to be free!

Anonymous
>>16277958

I am officially crying. 😂 Sounds like the universe decided it was time, huh? Glad your mom was cool.

Anonymous

Wracking my brain to find something funny to report from this week, but sadly, it’s been a bit of a bummer. Went to the world’s most boring conference, got passed over for an important opportunity at work, and had a major project go south on me. I guess this is kind of funny... we have little frogs in our backyard that hang out on the windows and back door. I’m terrified of them, but my husband loves them (he’s French-Canadian, so he’s a self-proclaimed frog, too). When I was at my lowest this week, Hubs decided that one of the frogs is going to be my self-esteem spirit animal. He named him “Theophilius” and told me all these stories about how Theophilius thinks I’m awesome and wants me to be happy. It was goofy and sweet, and definitely the high point of my week. Also wanted to add that your audios were massively important to me this week, G. “Comfort Through the Tears” came in so handy the day I was crying at my desk (not the strongest move, I know). Thank you for all that you do for us!

Anonymous

Decided what I'm going to do for NaNoWriMo this year! Of course, this led to me dragging probably a dozen books off my shelves so I can start researching (a vital component of any writing project I do), so my living room is an absolute mess of books and notepads right now. Starting to make Halloween plans as well, though right now they're pretty much limited to "watch favorite spooky movies with the cats." Feeling a bit scattered this week due to all the scary weather reports (damn these hurricanes), had to work through an anxiety attack at work one afternoon. Good thing I had those vampire rambles saved on my phone! They turned out to be a real lifesaver. So fangs very much for that, Gael! Hope everyone's having a lovely October so far!

Anonymous

Bantering or funny things not really.. But I am just so extremely happy and grateful, that my little cat Bellis survived her operation, and lives 😻❤️I still have to feed her and make sure she gets enough water, but so what she lives ❤️😻❤️Right now I just think everything on this planet is Wonderful and wish everybody All the Best ❤️👍❤️Have a lovely purrrrfect evening 😻💋🐱💋🐱😻🐱😄Goodass Prana 💋

Anonymous

Oooo! I forgot about another funny that happened yesterday- while I was at work, my husband sent me a video, and I’m like, “Wtf?!?” Apparently this is what happened- he was on his break eating breakfast at a nearby restaurant with some fellow construction workers, when the restaurant starts playing “Goodbye Horses” (aka the Buffalo Bill song). So my husband gets up in the middle of the restaurant and starts dancing like Buffalo Bill &amp; sends me video of it!!! 😂 (don’t worry he didn’t do the tuck 😂) He said he was gonna be like, “Would you fuck me? I’d fuck me!” but he figured that might be a little much in the middle of a restaurant 😂 <img src="https://media.giphy.com/media/cEHlzcAK5C824/giphy.gif">

Anonymous
>>16282878

I love froggies!!! I wish I had them in my backyard! Your husband sounds like a sweetie!!!

Anonymous

Happy Saturday!! The temp has dropped here so it’s quite chilly!!! Which is fine by me bc it’s perfect hoodie, blanket and hot chocolate weather! 😍☕️ As for some funny’s... well I’ve been babysitting my niece (4) and nephew (5) the past 6 weeks or so and they crack me up. Yesterday my nephew was almost in tears trying to convince me that Oreos were not vegan. And every time I bake them anything vegan he’s like THIS IS NOT VEGAN. 😂😂😂. And then we were watching a movie and every 2 mins they’d both be like PAUSE IT! I GOTTA GO GET A SIP OF MY HOT CHOCOLATE! They’d run over to the table and like gulp hot choc and then run back screaming 😂 they only had a half mug each but the way it affected them was astounding lol

Anonymous

I was at a Scottish wedding yesterday (being in Scotland and all 😂). There was some last minute guests who were friends of the groom. They were Irish lads from Galway and Limerick and the only guys who weren’t wearing kilts. Everyone took the piss out of them but the banter between both sides was hilarious 😂🤣

Anonymous

Wiley popped off his collar yesterday evening so we spent half an hour looking for the lil shit😩 but today he feels bad cause he keeps wanting cuddles😟, after that we took the grey jeep down one of the trails, hit a deceptive bump that made me hit the tire well so today i have a huge bruise on my hip😁😂

Anonymous

Not really a story but one time my bf and I were cooking and I just put in the sliced onions to saute and he goes "thats a lot of tomatoes". I think he was more tired and stressed out than he let on, but we had a good much needed laugh over that. 😂

Brittany

My sister was helping me look for the mayo in the pantry. She said "here it is" pulled out a bottle of "mayo" -slim and bright yellow with MUSTARD across it- and couldn't figure out that was mustard but knew there was something wrong with that bottle of mayo. She figured it out and that made my week.

Anonymous

Well... I just thought about that day... A Beatles tribute concert... Me with friends and some beers... I left my lungs there having a good and funny time. Till when they were playing the song A Taste of Honey, they suddenly stopped and what happened? Yeah, me literally yelling the next line alone in the crowd... And yes. They did a joke about that. I wanted to run away... 😰

Anonymous

Hey hey my lovelies! I know I promised to be here more, and I was doing pretty good for a minute. But... September 28, my dad surprised us by "sneaking" into town. That night, he'd fallen and was incoherent when my brother, Joseph, found him. On Friday, Joseph, didn't really relay anything because, initially everything seemed fine. My dad was lucid again: eating, joking, laughing. By the time I went to lunch, he was resting. So everyone decided to go to the hospital on Saturday. As we're getting ready we all get a mass text "Get here asap!" They performed a MRI. Long story short, his spleen ruptured and his excretory system was shutting down. They tried giving him emergency dialysis, they were giving him blood like crazy, but nothing worked. We took him off of life support at 12:30 am Sept 30th. The doctor came in 15 min later and let us know he'd passed. Nine days before his 84th birthday. It's been difficult, however... We had his "Celebration of Life" (not a funeral) and it really helped us all deal with our pain. We (all eleven of us with all of our kids and their kids - over 60 of us) spoke of all our experiences with him. The fun, the wisdom/lessons. Some of his best one liners..he was such a smart ass! (I wondered where I got it from 😂) He was a man of few words, so when he spoke he had our collective ear. He loved a good joke and I loved making him laugh! I will miss talking to him about all things "old school": cars, music, general mind-sets. I'll always remember his melodious voice singing old gospel songs (Brother Joe May, Sam Cooke, Pilgrim Travelers... ). I'll remember his love of fedoras (Daddy was a cool cat, boy) I'll always remember the effortless love he exuded and the endless sacrifices from this man! He was awesome!! I didn't mean to bring anyone down, so I'm very sorry. But I just wanted to share with you guys a piece of life of an extraordinary and humble man. Love you guys!!!! Smooches to all!💋💋💋💋

Anonymous
>>16289835

Aww Elaine sorry for your loss. He sounds like he was an awesome Daddy. ❤

Anonymous

No funny story but I did just start a new job this week. I am officially a travel and lifestyle specialist! I absolutely love it and can't even wait to go back on Monday. And, with the perks I receive, I might finally be able to make it to Ireland lol

Anonymous

Haha I woke up late this morning and freaked out thinking that I was late for class. Had a little heart attack as I sprung out of bed... later did I find out that it was Saturday! Happy Weekend Gael and everyone!

Anonymous
>>16284438

Oreos are indeed vegan. My daughter is thankful for that constantly!!!!!

Anonymous

Last night the lights were flickering and I do not know what my mom had drank but the next thing my uncle, her boyfriend and I knew my mom was going nuts. “THE OMEN OF A POWER-OUTAGE IS HERE!! SARAH! GET YOUR SHIT RECHARGEING AND GET THE CANDLES! I WILL WASH THE REST OF THE DISHES AND FLUSH THE TOILET! AND YOU LAZY ASSHOLES CAN GO AND BRING IN WOOD FOR THE WOODSTOVE” I have never seen my mom so animated before in my life.

Anonymous

Ran a dungeons and dragons bar crawl and I have been up since 7am, 16 hours at this point. But! Everyone bought me drinks and I am now drunk and listening to Gael on the cab ride home. They have no idea that I’m get hot and bothered in the back seat!

Anonymous

I am a huge fan of Grace and Frankie on Netflix and last night I got to see Lily Tomlin in a one woman show. She was hilarious. She was real and vulnerable on stage. I so admire women who are vibrant and living their passion like that. Super inspiring!

Anonymous

My lady friend and I were out shopping. We're both femme bisexuals but in monogamish relationships. She wanted to exchange a bra and one of the clerks seemed to be embarrassed by her own assumption that we were together, when another clerk chimed in that I was there for moral support. It took everything in my power not to just throw my arm around my friend and call her my girlfriend to embarrass them. Guess I'm a bit of a switch.

Anonymous

My lady friend and I were out shopping. We're both femme bisexuals but in monogamish relationships. She wanted to exchange a bra and one of the clerks seemed to be embarrassed by her own assumption that we were together, when another clerk chimed in that I was there for moral support. It took everything in my power not to just throw my arm around my friend and call her my girlfriend to embarrass them. Guess I'm a bit of a switch.

Persephone Autumnborn

I was getting ready for work and my date later that day. I was looking for my rose oil to perfume me for the date and couldn’t find it. I decided to look in my bathroom Now, my bathroom is really small and there was some water on the floor. So I slipped ass first into the tub and there was still a little water from both my shower and my roommate’s shower. I wasn’t hurt just really stressed and wet. Tried drying my dress pants but it was still damp. Good thing the pants were black.Also the date went well. But I wore something else.

Anonymous

No banter but I got tattoos and they make my body look good bro

Anonymous

Today, a little pudgy field mouse came out of her hole in a log as I passed it, tried to attack my boot, squeak-cussed me like I cut her off in traffic, and then ran back into her hole. I was just trying to walk to my car to go get some lunch. I laughed so hard once the surprise wore off.

Anonymous

I was grocery shopping at Krogers and next thing I know they start playing Welcome To The Jungle lol I was laughing so hard in the coffee aisle Because I'm like "some kid is gonna get fired!" . So when Axl starts on the moaning part, the lady comes on the speaker and makes some random specials announcement and conveniently hangs up when themoaning part is over. 🤣🤣