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Hello my fellow earthlings!

So I was thinking about the funniest ways I was hit on and I remembered one night in particular:
Two girls approached me and said "hi we work in Pfizer"
I looked at them in a quizzical way.
And then one of them winked and smiled and said: "we make Viagra"..."do you wanna come home with us"

I burst out laughing! But they were serious 😳

Have you any funny 'hit on' stories?

Xd

Comments

Anonymous

No one hits on me. Bummer 😂

Anonymous

But did you go?

Anonymous

Unfortunately no. Apparently I’m not attractive enough to be hit on. 😐

Anonymous

Hmmmm I really don’t/haven’t been hit on. Although this one time, this guy used a line on me and he said, “Hey girl were your parents retarded cause you sure are special?” I was baffled to say the least.😂

Anonymous

Lol good morning 😂 no stories for me... I'm no ones favorite Foxie in RL...

Gaelforce

Nah. I was actually working at the time. I was bouncing in a club. I'll actually tell the whole story in a ramble soon. They were delightfully crazy! Funny girls 😜

Anonymous

Got asked if I knew anywhere good to eat, he then winked and made a finger gun at my crotch 😂😂😂

witch's brew

I got hit on in a kik chat of a all places 😂😂😂

Prue

One time I was at an equal marriage rights event and two women came up to me, one wrapped her arm around my shoulder and was like "hey, have you met my friend, Sarah?" I was in a stunned silence and when I looked to where my friend had been standing, she had walked off without me. I basically had an awkward small talk chat, wished them a good day and caught up with my friend.

Anonymous

Strange morning thoughts you have *yoda voice*🤔😂😂😂

Anonymous

Lmbo that’s funny 😂 Yeah i met this guy at a modeling audition and we were chatting. He was a bit older than me. We got a long well and he seemed cool. Then he said “Hey maybe we can catch a movie next week” I said yeah I’m down with that then he said “ Okay awesome, I’ll text when I’m ready for you to pick me up. I don’t have a car”

Kaitlyn

I went on a drive with an old work friend and his friend (a dude I had never met before). Anyway out of lack of seats I got forced into his car, alone. We were “driving” (hooning) for like an hour in dead silence. He wouldn’t look at me or even attempted to talk to me. Later that night he added me on Facebook, vaguely out of pity, and mostly out of curiosity I added him back. Over the next 2 days he makes THE most awkward small talk with me. Then asked me to stay at his house (wtf?) I proceeded to say no, cause I had somewhere to go that night. Well he then sent me a MEME that said “see your body is 70% water and daddy’s thirsty”. I shut that down SO FAST MAN HOLY CRAP I still can’t figure out if he actually thought I would say yes 😂

Anonymous

Are you gonna bamboozle us again?? 🤨

Anonymous

the one day i decided to wear a texas a&m shirt in another state smh. i get a guy that says “it’s true! everything must be bigger in texas!” i looked puzzled until he raised his eyebrows and looked down. i threw away all my texas related shirts after that 😂

Anonymous

Wait! I remember one now.😂 I was in Walmart, (it’s a grocery store here), I was getting some cucumbers I like to have them as a snack. As I was bagging some this guy approaches me and says, “cucumbers huh? I bet I know what those are used for.” As he winked at me. I simple replied, “yeah, your mom.” Then I walked away.😂

Anonymous

Walking home from work, guy comes up to me and says “hello, my future baby mama.”

Anonymous

Oh I also get a lot of old guys say “ Ouuu wee if I was 40 years younger...” 😕 no thank you grandpa

Anonymous

Not really funny but this guy I met through an ex-friend chatted me up over text back in High School, basically not even more than a day or two later, asked for nudes.

Ariel Diamond

A guy I knew years ago asked me if I had a little Irish in me. Not paying much attention, I told him no. He asked, "Would you like to?" *rolls eyes* Weirdly enough, we're still friends (and even funnier, he's my ex).

Anonymous

Are you a parking ticket? ‘Cause you’ve got fine written all over you. AND NOW YOU HAVE !! 😎

Anonymous

I was in a nightclub, at the bar, and the guy next to me asked: " So....do you donate blood?". I just said 'No' and bolted. Now I wish I'd stuck around to find out what the rest of that pickup line was 🤔

Anonymous

I’ve never been hit on. My friends always were. It makes me feel awful that it hasn’t happened and probably won’t.

Anonymous

I was serenaded by the same song, that Bruno Mars song “Beautiful Girls”, on both trips to the Philippines, but the trips were nearly two years apart and in totally different cities so I always wondered if that song was the go-to serenading song for Filipino guys or something?! The first guy was a store clerk in Laoag and the second time it was two guys working in a sandwich bar at the Manila airport 😂🤷🏼‍♀️ Apart from that the stories are not as interesting, except for the one friend who works on a farm and constantly sends me pickup lines about getting plowed 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

Gaelforce

I have a very funny story about kik! You just reminded me haha! I'll have to tell that one soon! Thanks WB ❤️

Anonymous

I was actually talking to someone on an app and this is the second message he send me "So you’re good looking, funny and a charmer.... 😜😍 Well I am just hoping that my mum will adore you.. and let’s just say that my neighbours would dislike you.. What do you think? 😏😜xx" I didn't know how to answer that honestly but it did make me laugh 😂

Anonymous

Hm, can't say I have had an experience like that. Unfortunately, I usually have MUCH older men hitting on me or just being plain gross and creepy. I was at the grocery store once and a man old enough to be my grandfather goes, "you look so good in that dress, bet you'd look better out of it. i hope that's not inappropriate of me to say..." UM, YES IT IS. I was so shocked that I didn't say anything and just quickly got out of there. It also probably doesn't help that I have a horrible case of resting bitch face and have been told at times that I look fairly intimidating at first glance.

Anonymous

It wasn’t in a funny way, but he thought it was funny he tried me for three quarters of a year to get me in his bed with always the same words ‘What would you like to try in bed with me?’ I always replied with a gif who shakes his head I didn’t even know the guy

Anonymous

Does getting hit on at an online virtual reality game count?? 🤣🤣 “YOU WANT SEXT? I WANT SEX”

Anonymous

I’ve had the old classic ‘you’ve got sexy legs...what time do they open?’ 😳😳😳

Anonymous

One time a guy started singing at me in an elevator. I say at me because dude, why?! It was awkward AF. 😂

Anonymous

No funny ones come to mind, just awkward ones. A couple weeks back I was at a stop light, I see movement from the corner of my eye. A guy in the backseat was motioning for me to roll down my window, I did so out of curiosity. He asked for my number, I laughed and asked if he was joking. His reply was something to the tune of "well you gotta try, right?" Not the first time I've been hit on while driving. Haha, it's so weird. I just remembered a funny one, I happened to be in a relationship at the time. I was in the checkout at a clothing store and a guy was trying his best. Going on and on about how pretty I was, his best line was "You're so pretty I want to take you to the mall, hold your hand, and show you off" ....It was kind of charming. I like your story better though 😉

Anonymous

Once had a guy come up to me at my local pub and say "hey gorgeous, you look like my future ex-wife" 😂😂

Anonymous

The gamers are the best! Or random guys on line app 🤣🤣🤣

Prue

There was also this one night where I was out for drinks with my sister and this guy started hitting on her, then when she turned him down he started flirting with me. Not the smoothest of moves. 😂

Anonymous

Not exactly but once I was in a club - which is pretty much a saga-worthy event in and of itself - and this bugger comes up to me and is like 'fuck your eyes are so blue I could drown in them!' But it was a beach themed night at the club and they had those big inflatable beachballs thrown onto the dance floor and I was holding onto one because I'd just wrestled it off my much drunker friend who wanted to take it home. I was 19 and kinda weirded out by this strange fucker who was well over a foot taller than me and looming over me on a dark dance floor and I was not witty enough to do proper Smackdowns at this point so what I wanted to do was be like 'better hold onto this then to keep you afloat!' *hands him the ball* But my brain kinda fried so I just handed him the ball and ran away without actually throwing the line! Just like *hands him this beachball like sorry lad this is the only ball you’re getting handled tonight, runs away* 😂😂😂 AND MY MATE STILL MANAGED TO NICK THE DAMN BALL BACK AGAIN AND CAME TROTTING HOME CARRYING IT WITH ALL THE PRIDE OF A DOG WHO'S JUST FOUND A R E A L L Y GOOD STICK 😂😂😂

Prue

To clarify, it was awkward because at the time I was very new to flirting and such and I had no idea what to do or how to proceed.

Anonymous

I was asked by a barista if the drink I ordered was my first drink of the day. I told him no and he said “so I guess you’re pretty thirsty...me too” and I couldn’t help but laugh 😂

Anonymous

-big snuggly cuddles- I'm sure it will Miss Allie Bee. 😘😘

Anonymous

Here I am at my cousins birthday party, trying to set up her piñata when a dude comes up to me and asks “need help stuffing your piñata?” I said “sure” handed him the piñata and left 😬🤷🏻‍♀️

Anonymous

Well, despite my obvious attractiveness XD, I kind of naturally give off this intimidating sort of "leave me alone" vibe, so being approached doesn't happen very often. But literally every time I step outside my door, I am met with a barrage of cat calls and whistles. No one can even look me in the eye long enough to do it, anyway. 😜🖤💋

Anonymous

I usually did the "hitting on" but back when I was 20 I did get propositioned by the hottest man ever in front of God and everyone. He was a male stripper that I had hired for my boss and after he did his deed for her he made his way over to me. He rubbed up against me and magically slipped me his number using his mouth, running down my chest and stuck it in my bra, all while keeping his firey eyes on mine. I was breathless. Needless to say I called. Eddie. We had LOTS of fun together. One of the most uninhibited and fun loving men I've ever known. 🔥

Anonymous

Guy looks me up and down, and at my shirt and says "I'm looking for the tag that says made in heaven." "Can you take off your shirt so I can check 4 wings, or take off your pants so I can check for the devil's tail". Ive had some beauts come my way. 😂

Anonymous

Oh, but one time... I was like 17... guy came up to me "Do you have a cigarette?" "Nope." "And a boyfriend?" Riiight...

Anonymous

When I was in college, I was at a friend's party and this frat guy trying to be cool approached me and said one of the cheesiest pick up line "Hi my name is---I forgot your name....,, can I call you mine?" I replied "No, but here's my last name (handed him a piece of paper where I wrote down Ukayntoanmi),rolled my eyes , smiled and walked away. I hope he is smart enough to figure it out. (U can't own me) 😂

Anonymous

Actually, now that I think about it... there was one time where I was hit on. It was on twitter. Guy I didn’t know at all. I literally JUST started following him, and not even a second later, DM’d me and asked for nudes. I said no and he got pissed and blocked me. Unbelievable 🙄

Anonymous

"Are you Married?" Nope, but my husband is!". "You have the lips of an angel and I need a blessing" IF YOU USE THIS AGAINST ME G, YOU'RE A DEADMAN!! 😨😭😭 I was a bartender at one time, So I heard all the lines going on between me and everyone else at the bar. Good times.👍

Anonymous

Silly girls had no idea who they were flirting with.🙄 I've had some random stuff said to me in Spanish but it gets lost in translation.

Anonymous

Hmmm can't think of any funny lines or situations, lots of inappropriate groping unfortunately 😳

Anonymous

The funniest I received was 'did you buy that outfit in the sale? 'cos it's 100% off at my place ' ......it worked, I dated him for a while 😉

Gaelforce

Another one that happened to me: I was walking in to a club in Australia and this lady who was coming out... tripped up and fell. So I went to pick her up and one of the bouncers grabbed hold of me. The lady went crazy and was screaming about a lawsuit, fighting with the bouncers and asking me to take her home at the same time. She was telling me we could shack up and split the money when she won the case. All I wanted to do was meet my friends lol! In the end I said: NO!! NO NO Then she goes: "you're not a true Irishman, Irishmen never say no, now fuck off" All this at 11pm 😳😳

Anonymous

A contractor came to my work and complimented my pink shirt and said it matched my cheeks and lips and was there anything else that was pink that I would like to show him after we had dinner!😝 Thankfully my supervisor overheard that remark and took care of him for me!

Anonymous

I get a lot of random men message me ‘you want fuck?’ I usually reply to this with a pic of my dildo and respond with ‘only if you can take this bitch’. They dont stick around long after that 🤣🤣🤣

Anonymous

Bloody hell G! 😂😂 honestly, sometimes I swear all the crazy, weird and wonderful things happen to you.

Gaelforce

Oh yeah Be careful of anyone who does that stuff online. As soon as that DM arrives: Delete delete delete! No matter who they are or claim to be. Naw thanks Tom Hanks

Anonymous

I was at a coffee shop ordering my coffee last week. The barista asked me if I wanted whipped cream with that. I declined. Guy Behind Me: Are you lactose intolerant? Me: Not at all. I am just cutting down. Guy Behind Me: It's best not to drink milk from animals. Let alone eat their cream. At this point, I think to myself. This guy is alright. Like not crazy. Then he winked and said, "I got a better source of crrreaaam for you. "

Anonymous

A guy I had known in HS came into the bar i work at. He was super cute popular guy who didn’t have the time of day for me then But now He apparently didn’t realize he had turned into a piss drunk middle aged guy since the last time I saw him. Anyway he was flirting with me as if he was doing me a favor of some kind. All sloppy and gross he leans over the bar and whispers all us football players used to call you Jugs” So I said really!?! all us Drama Geeks called you Tiny. Fucker left me alone after that.

Anonymous

Lol I usually just get hit on by women at coffee shops. No funny stories, but I've gotten my coffee for free on 3 seperate occasions, so there's that ☺

Anonymous

Some friends dragged me to a club... we’re walking around and this guy FREEZES... eyes me up and down, like hardcore fucked me with his eyes! 👀 then says, “I wanna pour barbeque sauce all over you and lick you like a rib!"

Gwyn

I don’t really have any funny ones but I was visiting New York the summer before I started my final year of high school and I was walking through Time Square when this guy stepped out in front me and scanned me up and down before he told me that he thought I would make a great stripper and that I should go home with him and see what I could do. I ran away pretty fast and was very uncomfortable to say the least. 😂

Anonymous

OMG Nadia, me too! Like, I have a little bit of a thing for older men, but there's older and then there's just plain *old*!

Anonymous

Unfortunately no funny stories of being hit on, all of them were weird or inappropriate. But, this one time I was texting a guy I had met from online dating. We hadn’t gone on a date or even spoke on the phone. He was a pastry chef and sent me a picture of his newest dessert. I said it looked good, and he said something like ‘it tastes good, but not as good as you!’ I was like what!!??!!

Anonymous

I have had some awful ones on dating sites but this one made me kind laugh. It was in French so it might not translate so well... Guy: Hi! Are you a model? Me: No. Why? Guy: Because you have just passed the casting call to my heart. 🤣

Sammy

Last night! A young lad thought I was a lot younger than I am. He was drunk and kept asking if her could put his arm round me. I said no then he asked who my mum was 😂 I explained I was a mum to which he was horrified. I asked what age he thought I was🙄 bless him then I walked him half home to make sure he didn't get squished on the road 👍

Anonymous

I went to a Halloween block party where the theme was "Outer Space" dressed as a sexy female Mr. Spock, and this guy tried to stop me, attempting to remember the name of my character, and loudly as I'm walking away yells, "But I love Star Wars!"😂

Anonymous

Pretty much every time I've been hit on has been creepifying. A random guy on the bus telling me that we had a "real connection" and giving me his email address (which included the name of some type of machine gun, so draw your own conclusions). Another random guy on a train leaning in within 1 foot of my face and telling me that I couldn't <i>possibly</i> be asexual because—and I wish I weren't quoting—"there's interest there." No, dude, that's me deciding whether or not I'm going to hit you in the face in the middle of this train car. Funniest thing I've experienced wasn't even being hit on directly. I was at a club for my friend's bachelorette party, and suffice it to say that my dress covered what it needed to cover and that was about it. At the beginning of the night, there weren't a lot of people on the dance floor, so I spent a couple songs in a bit of a dance circle with several middle-aged folks. One of the women appeared to take a shine to me and complimented my appearance several times. By this, I mean she said "you're hot!" several times. Funniest part? When the club filled up later that night and I was dancing with a man (read: teaching him how to dance with a woman for reals because I don't club-dance), she kept swinging past us, catching his attention, and saying, "she's hot!" and giving him the thumbs-up. I really don't know what her game was, so I can't even say whether she was winning it. XD

Anonymous

I am not in the right places apparently. I don't ever get hit on...well I did get hit on at work by a customer not too long ago. He asked me where my wedding ring was (and the ring I wear looks a lot like one IMO!) and when I just looked at him kinda baffled he said he thought I was cute. I am fairly certain he was a bit younger than me though. But yeah just the once in recent memory.

Anonymous

Ugh, what a creep! Besides, we Lovelies only take "Irish cream". 😉😂

Anonymous

This might be more creepy than funny but also on a dating after only chatting for 5 minutes with a guy, he goes: I would like to be your boyfriend but he used « petit ami » which is more a term teens/younger people use. He was 48. 🤣🤣🤣

Anonymous

Reading your stories I am sad my real life encounterd lean more toward harassement than bad pick up lines. lol I mean I had a guy follow me for 30 min in Brussels recently. Stalking is not hot. lol

Anonymous

Don't really get hit on...🤔 I don't go to bars or clubs etc. But while at Wal-Mart a while ago...as I struggled to get the cat liter in the cart (cue crazy cat lady images)...a man came up to me and said: " Just wanted to say you're really beautiful". Made me a bit flustered, but it was the nicest most unexpected thing ever 😶 I of course subtly dropped the cat liter box in the cart which made a bombastic rattling noise throughout the store 😅 It was just nice to hear and his approach was appreciative without being sleazy or expecting anything in return. After I thanked him, he basically smiled and walked away...I know, so sweet. I was kind left discreetly looking after him.

Anonymous

I had a guy in highschool text me for a week and I thought it was the guy I was looking to date....turns out it was this other guy that everyone thought was the weird one or creepy one. he had stolen the guys phone... And after that week he was like lol jk it's not him it's me... So lied to XD

Anonymous

International: So I like to get the bubble blowing chewing gum sometimes, 'cause blowing bubbles is fun. I was walking down the street in Paris happily blowing bubbles and some dude grabbed my bubble to get my attention. Like, who does that? The attendant at the Tube station in London's chat up was telling my that Californians have the sexiest American accent, he was rather cute but getting a ticket doesn't leave much chat up time. 😜

Anonymous

I wouldn't say the way i was hit on was funny, but more the reactions of both myself and the guy hitting on me. I was waiting in line for food when a guy came up and stood next to me. He started to do squats and lunges, flexing his arms as he did so. At the time i though well that's a bit strange and just ignored him. After a while he starts chatting to me asking what he should order, so i start telling him the dishes i like best (for all i know he just doesn't know what to get). He keeps chatting and eventually asks my age (I was 19 at the time) he replies "I'm 35" and promptly books it out of there. I was so confused i asked the friends i was with about it, to which i was informed that this guy was in fact hitting on me and i scared him off with how young i was. Moral of the story turns out I'm so dim that people randomly flexing at me hardly turns my eye.

Anonymous

Despite all the wistling and 'Hé mademoiselle t'as pas un 06 ?' Wich can be badly translated by «hey Milady give me your number» basically happening quite often in the street by little "rascals" trying to flirt in band.. There were one time someone was really a SweetHeart. I was sick as hell and went out to buy myself some good french croissant and flew medecine, and as i went in the bakery a homeless was waiting outside for customers to give him the spare money. So basically I bought him a sandwich, and began to head back home where my pillows were calling me back. Then an Handsome guy came to me and tall me : Excuse me Miss, I usually don't bother Women in the street like this, but i just saw what you did and I found it super cute, can i offer you a coffee or something ? The sweetest way to aboard a Woman. I politely denied since i was reaaaallly sick but definitely would remember this guy all my life.

Anonymous

Went for drinks with friends after work, went to the station to get my train...all cancelled. Started to order the taxi and I hear this voice “hi, are all the trains cancelled?” Look up and this guys staring at me, smiling so I go “um, yeah”. Then he says, “well, we’re stuck here now...may as well go for a drink.........”

Anonymous

Went through my life and I found one!!! I went on a caving trip with my friends and a young, cool and cheerful tour guide was assigned to us. He was pretty laid back so I enjoyed the casual conversation. Took a quick turn tho because while walking beside me, all he could talk about was how sorry he was that he showed up with lipstick marks on the collar of his jacket (I didn’t even notice. It was dark) Anyway.. I laughed it off but he went on and on about how he’s really a free guy. Implied that he was just that irresistible and asked me “I mean, you see it right? You understand”. Something along those lines. Cannot tell you how many innuendos were made by the hard rocks we saw. So many points. sO mAny Long. 🤣 Well that was a pretty interesting lesson on stalactites and stalagmites. He was really funny tho so heeyy 🤷🏻‍♀️

Anonymous

During one of our rare snow days this year, I had a guy approach me and say " Hey, since it's snowing we can cuddle up, search for hot spots. No WIFI," It was very clever and I had no words. I just shook my head.

Anonymous

I may not be present in your real life Angie, but you're my favorite Foxie 🖤🦊

Anonymous

HAHAHA, I wasn't "due" to come back quite yet but I couldn't resist. Your stories are hilarious! I may have a couple of my own but those will have to wait. Real quick though, I can recall a very interesting/hilarious compliment (?) from a few years back. See, my somatotype is endomorph and I love to eat. I also love to stay active, but when I get depressed, I move less and keep eating, so we all know what happens. I'm way closer to the way I love myself best now, so the look on this fellow's face really surprised me and I didn't know if he was looking at me or the people behind me. Then I thought maybe I had something on my face or that he was mistaking me for someone else. Anyway, long story short, he goes to me, he goes: "I love how THICK you are." I start LAUGHING and say, "Oh, is that the thing, now? You can say the other 'F' word - I'm cool with it. I thought I had a hole in my pants or something, HAHA." Then he makes the cutest giant leap forward in one step and goes, "NooOO, really!! You're like an EXAGGERATION OF THE FEMALE FORM." LMAO!! "What I love, you've got more of." What a dear, right? I'll never forget this. XD See you Lovelies later and much love to you all.

Anonymous

I was two minutes into a conversation with a guy I had just been introduced to, when he abruptly stop speaking mid-sentence. I stood there looking puzzled, then I finally asked him, "what's the matter". He looked me straight in my eyes and said, "Damn....... you smell so good, you make me feel like a wild dog", then he actually growled under his breath! 🤣

Anonymous

Had a guy tell me once that he would let his Arch Enemy live if I would just give him a little of my time! So I told him that I needed some space. He proceeded to tell me that if I needed space then I should have been an astronaut!! Da hell you say?! Men!! 😂😂🤣

Anonymous

Haha the 06 line is so bad. I am from Belgium but whenever I go to Paris it happens a few times.

Anonymous

Last week end I was in Paris and one man (older than me) sat right in front of me. He sighed and told me : " thanks God you're here" (he acted like he was super relieved to see me) so i was like : " sorry.. do we know each other ?🤔" He answered :" oh..of course.. Hi I'm your soulmate ! I've been looking for you eeeeeverywhere" I laughed and he said: "I take the laugh.. but what about a date ?" I told him that I am sorry but I have to say no And he looked at me, he made a sad face like this (🙁) and he walked backward to an other seat 😂😂

Anonymous

Hmm. I know you're super low-key, G, but are you sure this isn't just a way for you to stroke your own ego? 😜 I kid, I kid. Sort of. You can't escape that Leo animal magnetism. XD

Legginor

It's not a pickup line but still funny. I was on a 'date' with this guy. We had a coffe as it was in the morning. However. Once he turned to me and said. "Look I need to go home to do some cleaning and laundry. Care to join me? My eyes wild open. My whole body started to shake because I didn't wanted to laugh in his face. So i just said no. But the strange thing is. Before he got on a bus he asked me again but this time he added "I know it's not an interesting thing, to do a laundry with me and my mates, but are you sure you don't want to come?" I said no again, but started to think. Were he serious... I wouldn't just go home with someone i seen once, especially if he have mates at home, aaaaand i'm the only girl. Were he planning on a gangbang or what the hell? Anyway. It was funny, and it turned creepy and a little dangerous. There was another time I can think of. I was dancing in one of my favourite place0, when i was younger and i just had my first tattoo. So we talking about 16 years old me 😶 So It's a dragon on my shoulder. So this guy came to me looks at my shoulder, then looks at his mate, and says "See. I told you all womens here are dragons." I'm looking at him like wtf? And i asked him "We breath fire when we see an idiot like you?" He looked at me with eyes as open as the booze let him. And smile with his few teeth in his mouth " No. They smoking hot." I'm looking "what the hell like, he can't even get 1 pickup line right. He mixed 2 into one?" I just burst out of laughing and left the 2 guy there. Oh and the last one. So I was a domestic in the hospital. Cleaned the theatres after surgerys. There is this one surgeon guy. He thought he's Casanova, but he is actually shorter than me, and i'm 158cm so around 5'1. So he comes to me with a wery disturbing smile on his face, and say " So do you do private cleaning?" I'm looking frozen like wth?! So just asked back "whhhaaaaaaat?" Then he adds. "You could come to my house and clean once a month if you want?" and i just said straigh "nope. But i know someone who would do it for ya." and he goes red, looks down at his feet and mumble something about joking or teasing. Then he leave me on the corridor still frozen to the ground looking around and thinking to myself. "What did just happened here?" So these are my stories. Not really funny but they 100% true. Some strange things happens to me.

Anonymous

I think we need an audio where Seanie reads all the bad pick up lines we have written!

Anonymous

You Irish guys really love POTATOES right!!!! I remember few years ago the first funniest thing a guy asked me in a club after having some drinks was if I was a potatoe? Me: pardon me😡 He: ...because you look like a sweet and delicious one🤦 Gael are you good in Algebra? Because I want you to replace my X without asking Y 🥔😂😂

Anonymous

It’s not a funny one but was at the pub with my friends and was at the bar ordering shots when someone slapped my arse and then whispered in my ear “fancy drinking something else?” 🙄 My guy friend pushed him away and told him to fuck off. He must’ve been about mid-40s.

Laura

That's sweet! Especially because it seemed honest since he didn't weirdly approach you after that with any intentions. Just leaving a compliment there to brighten your day😊

Anonymous

Kinda or cute 😅 Nice that he backed off when you said no 👍

Gaelforce

Haha You'd think that. The thing is though, the situations aren't always sexy and the people involved are... eccentric to say the least. And on top of all of that there are crazy stories that have nothing at all to do with pick up lines or dates! I dunno why these things happen. Like, I was in Spain one year and people were randomly askin me for drugs and asking me to buy drugs. I'm still perplexed to this day lol. There I was in bars and clubs sipping on water and juice and the people there thought I was some kind of Escobar ! Like what and whhyyyyyy 😂😂

Anonymous

Awww.... I have a few! 😂😂😂 (most of you already know about my powers to attract funny/weird situations... 🤦🏼) I'm gonna share just a couple of them; one that ended up happily and another that shocked me terribly, ok? 🤣🤣🤣 HAPPY ONE: I was having some drinks with my friends. We are the kind of friends that mock each other because we know since school and we're like family. And it seemed to be that I was being exultant... At some point, I noticed someone taped me on my back and when I turned there was a cute guy smiling. Then he told me: "I'm sorry, but I was behind you and couldn't help hearing what you were talking... I was laughing a lot, and when you said" hey guys, I'm peeing as a very old lady" that's when I knew I had to introduce myself. My name is Alex, and I already know yours is Berta. I hope this is not too weird for you, but I'd love to meet you" (I thought he was nice and we ended up in a 5 years relationship!😂😂😂) SHOCKING ONE: I was dancing with my friends in a pub and a woman (that could be my own mum) joined to the dance and talked to me from time to time. It was ok, no danger in there.... Until she pushed against me and asked me to come with her to the toilets while she caressed my arm.... Oooooh My goooood! I could have dig my head on the floor! Don't know what I told her, I was still in shock.... Maybe a "Thank you so much but I'm fine" or something like that.. 😂😂😂😂😂😂🤦🏼🤦🏼🤦🏼🤦🏼

Anonymous

Also, my brother used to have this (cuteish) nerdy friend, and whenever I went to my bro’s house he’d be there. One time I was in the kitchen making tea, so my brothers mate comes in and starts rambling on about football (soccer). Then he sidled up to me and whispered “how’d you think Tottenham will do this season” 😂

Ms. Donovan

I am the drunk guy magnet at the bar every. single. time. Here’s a winner: I was in a dive bar once (the things we do for friends 🙄), perched on a bar stool praying for the night to end, when a very drunk man came over, all octopus hands. He attempted to say something in my ear, pulled back and was kind of glazed over, out of it, mouth open and ended up DROOLING. ON. MY. THIGH. Like legit a hot, wet puddle of drool. My mouth just dropped open. Thankfully I was seated near the doorway and a bouncer was watching and came over almost immediately and tossed the guy out. He came back with a towel. Come to think of it, should’ve asked the bouncer for his number 😉

Anonymous

Ewww! Gross! Drooling is a hard limit for me 😅 Bouncer sounded pretty awesome though 😉

Anonymous

Hahahaha! You made quite an impression on him!! 😂😂😂 But he had guts! 👏👏👏

Anonymous

😂 Good use of this week's Irish lesson! I need to know what happened next though...

Anonymous

I remember once at a new years party, a drunken english man kept standing in front of me, staring directly into my eyes, all the time.. He kept mumbling and mumbling, and then he asked me, what I was working with.. I was really tired of him, and desperate to get rid of him, so I said :"Well, I am a professional cow massage therapist.. And that's why the danish butter and bacon, has such high quality.. Though I still have to eat antibiotics for the foot and mouth disease symptoms.. But I don't think I am infected any longer".. Then he left.. for good👍👍 😂👍👏👏 have a wonderful giddy day 🤣🤣Goodass Prana 😆😘❤️❤️🤣🤣😀😁😂🍓🍓🍒🍉🍎🥑🍌🍌🍍

Anonymous

I once had a costumer come up to order food and I asked him what he'd like and he goes "I'll have a hot plate. Hot like you." I kind of just stood there trying not to laugh and then he's apologizing saying that was weird but then looks over at my co-worker and is trying to save himself and says "She is hot though, right?" And my coworker kind of like nods and goes " oh yeah." It was so awkward.

Anonymous

...I was hit on by Seanie in one of the rambles. Does that count? XD

Anonymous

Another one that ‘worked’ albeit for about 2 dates was an innocent looking lad came up to me in a bar and said ‘my mates over there have all bet money that I dont have the balls to speak to someone as beautiful as you ....wanna spend my winnings on a few drinks? ‘ I spent the rest of the night talking to him then shifted him in front of his mates just to prove them wrong 😂

Greek Goddess

Hello lovelies and Gael!!It happened 2 years ago.I wanted to go to the cinema but the movie I wanted to watch was only played in a cinema not so safe for a woman to go alone at night.I mean the neighborhood it wasn’t safe.To tell you the truth I didn’t even think it.I called a taxi to pick me up and I went to see the movie.When the movie was over I had to call a taxi to return home.Bad luck!My cellphone ran out of battery 😂😂I had to stand at the side of the road and wait If a taxi passed accidentally.Now it comes the good part!While I was waiting a motorcycle with two men stopped in front of me.One of them was stoned 😂 He asked me “how much?” and I replied “what do you mean??” He said “come on don’t pretend you have no idea!”.I was like “Omg, omg they think I’m a prostitute!!!” 😂😂😂😂 That awkward moment!I replied “ohhhh noooo I’m just waiting a taxi!” and he said “You shouldn’t be alone here miss it’s a dangerous neighborhood” Soon after they gone a taxi came by and I returned safely home.

Anonymous

The happy one is hilarious 😂😂😂 Berta you're like one of my best friend's. Exactly!!!you both are the same. I can't. I'm in love with you 😂😂😂

Anonymous

OK, here goes another one! Last week I had to do a radiography to a guy. We were alone in the room, I had to put him in the correct position, and as I took his face to center it in the machine he asks me: "At what time are you done today?" I was focused in what I was doing and said like... Oh, I'm here all day. Then he says... "Shit. I was going to ask you to have a coffee with me". Then, the alarm button rised in my head and I denied the offer politely. He kept saying that all the time. Like.. All the fucking time! It felt so bad... Like really really bad. At the end I had to tell him that if I wanted a coffee, I could manage to get it on my own! 😥😥

Anonymous

So, I was out with my friends and there was this guy across the way just staring over at me. The group of guys he was with looked like they were giving him a pep talk for him up to come over and talk to me. He approaches the bar and asks the bar man for something and after a few minutes he walks towards us and slides a napkin infont of me, winks and passes by as he does. What runs through my mind is that he's obviously given me his number. Now we all know what our friends can be like, they're practically surrounding me. I open the napkin and it reads; ' I'd like to point out that beautiful has "U" in it but quickie has "U &amp; I" together. (He's obviously looked that one up beforehand) Underneath is his phone number. If you can't wait I'll be in the back. Come find me.' 😂😂 1. He doesn't even know me 2. He hasn't spoke to me 3. Legend says he's still waiting 😂

Anonymous

So I was on a dating app one night out of boredom and this guy hit me up. He seemed cool enough so we start talking, but then I noticed the tattoo on his forearm and I could swear I had seen it before. So then he starts talking about his job and I realize in shock that this guy... might be my college professor! The conversation then proceeds: Prof: You seem pretty cool. Maybe we can meet up for drinks. Me: Just one question. You wouldn't happen to teach [name of class] at [name of college], would you? Prof: Um, I actually do. How'd you know that? Me: I'm in your 6:00 lecture on Mondays. 😶😶😶 Prof: [after several minutes of radio silence] Oh... shit. Easiest way of getting out of a final exam ever.

Anonymous

I did a stint as an Uber driver and my "favorite customers" 😝 always were the pick ups from local strip clubs. One guy sat in front and was chatting me up...thankfully saved his line close to his destination... "Oh babe, that was such a nice drive.....you could ride me alllll night long!" Complete with a slurry wink and arm rub. (Someone pass the Lysol disinfectant spray for my arm!!) 🤤

Anonymous

The funniest way I was hit on? Well the guy was drunk and he was slurring his words. I was at a bar with two of my best friends in the world, sitting down and enjoying the view. The guy was clearly wasted out of his mind, then he says to me “nice lips”. I smiled awkwardly because I never had that said to me before. My friends and I just continued our conversation about work at the time. I don’t know exactly what it was, but I think I was talking shit about my one of my coworkers and how she wasn’t doing what she is supposed to do. Later, that same guy comes between me and my friend and says, again, nice lips. Can I get your number? Like in an obnoxiously loud way. I said, kindly, I don’t know who you are; I don’t give numbers to people I don’t know. He had a sour look and said to me, whatever I don’t like girls who vape anyway. He gave me the finger and left. Me and my best friends thought “okay then” and just proceeded to have fun that night. The guy was a drunk, obnoxious douche.

Anonymous

This sounds like a 100 fanfictions I pretend I've never read 😂

Anonymous

TSSSS! Humansss, PFFFFFTSSS!? Sssso much effort... pathetic! I jussst wriggle my godlike hipssss and the tasssty tartsss cum running! Can hardly hold them off. Poor little chitsss... tsss. Yea, it´ sss a blesssing and a cursse to be me! HAHAHASSSSS!

Rose from Ash

A couple guys approached me while I was working and started asking for a long list of things. At the very end, one added "and your number." It was pretty smooth and it made me laugh, but I refused.

Anonymous

*hides* Never been flirted on...not even a shitty pick up line lol Actually I’m glad...I’ll be a blushing mess haha.

Anonymous

Only creepy things happen to me... There was this one time in a club... my friend and I just wanted to leave and on our way out a random guy put his arms around us. Then asking us if we had a boyfriend, followed by "I have viagra!" My friend and I were looking quiet weirded out at each other, not knowing what to do. We made clear we did not have any interest at all, luckily he let go of us when we tried to walk away. Another one, also in a club. There's this guy creepily staring at us. Like continuously and this went on for about 5-10 minutes. He suddenly came to us and asked us if we wanted to dance with him. And a last one. At the supermarket. A forty something year old guy comes up to me (I’m in my early twenties), complimenting me on how great my body looks... Sure, maybe he just wanted to give me a compliment and no further intentions, but it did made me feel highly uncomfortable.

Anonymous

I got sciatica and had to go to a Physiotherapist. He spent time asking me questions which was pretty normal then had to give me a deep tissue massage. I had to lay on my front and he was basically massaging my arse he started to tell me how much of a nice bum I had and if i had a boyfriend. I was in a mixture of pain and weird pleasure from the deep tissue massage but then he slapped my bum and told me he was done. He finished up with the paperwork and then sent me on my way. When I looked back through the paperwork he had wrote his number and ‘I would really like to see you again’. Safe to say I didn’t ring but I would have liked him to have massaged my ass again 😭

Anonymous

I'm thinking of what Sean's "hit on" story would be🙉

Anonymous

Take all our stories above... Mix them together and you won't be even closer 😂😂😂😂😂

Anonymous

Hahahah these are all so hilarious and bad 😂😂 a guy once said to me, is your father a pirate, because you are a treasure. It was so bad and I can still laugh so hard about it

Anonymous

I remember one time in Italy. As usual, I was traveling alone. I was on my way to visit a cathedral and, in the street, I saw a guy making big signs. I just ignored him. When I arrived next to him he said ''hey you ragazzzzza'' with a funny and thick Italian accent. He asked if I was Italian and I said no so he started saying ''London? Brrrrussels? Madrrrrid?" I said" Paris"... The guy's face was illuminated "AAAAHHH! Paris-Saint-Gerrrrrmain!!!" and he started to sing and dance around me screaming "PARIS" in the street. He was probably a fan of the football team. Then he said "you model? you arrre model? I saw you in my drrreams..." The guy stared to hold my hands and to kneel in front of me. I started to be scared. I thought maybe he's drunk or under drugs. He pointed the cathedral and said "Come, we marry. You like pizza? Pasta? I cook for you, I'm good boy." 😂 😂 I always have a fake ring with me when I travel, to get rid of unwanted attention so, I lied and said thanks but I'm already engaged and he gently let me go after a few words.

Gaelforce

I was in a bar once and my friend was hitting on this girl. He was being super cocky and sure of himself. So he's asking her about herself and she says (amongst other details ) "Oh I am a psychic!" So he goes: oh yeah? Prove it! ( so the whole place is packed coz it's after a gig in the city ) She says: Ok, go behind that door over there and make any face you like and I'll tell ya what you're like! So they have a little wager He goes behind the door and pulls a face She puts her fingers to her temples and says put loud: You're like a fuckin' eejit! The whole place erupted!! And that my friends is going on my next bedtime stories 😂

Anonymous

😂 😂 I'd love that girl! Can't wait to listen to your next Bedtime Stories!

Anonymous

Gael, how cum you get all chatty and sociable at 3am?? I’m going back to bed... 😴😴 *grumble, grumble

Anonymous

I’d seen a film at Somerset house and was on my way home by myself. It’d been pissing down and my blanket was soaked so my bag was leaking. Was waiting for my train when this guy said to me “your bags leaking” I said thanks but I knew and that I’d been at the film. He said “wanna come back to my place and dry off? Or get even more wet?” I politely declined and my train arrived so hopped on. He was cute but seriously 😂

Anonymous

I once had to kiss my bestfriend (he's gay) to get rid of a guy... 🤦🏼😂😂😂😂😂😂

Anonymous

I think the most awkward way I've ever been hit on is when I was on holiday in Turkey with my mum. I'd just passed my leaving cert with pretty good grades so it was her treat to me kind of thing. We'd gone to a tiny little town where only about ten people spoke English so proper Turkey not the tourist trap side. We were in the market and this older man approached my mum and completely earnestly offered her 20 camels and a pound of saffron for me to marry his son. Obviously we declined but he did it every day, upping the price each time. I was worth 200 camels, 5 pounds of saffron and a pair of goats by the time we flew home...

Anonymous

I met a lad in a club when I was about 18 and he kept going on about how much I looked like someone off the tv. He asked me to call him and handed me his card and printed under his name it said ‘At your cervix’ 😂

Anonymous

I was hit on by the best man for our wedding at my engagement party! He asked if I would ever sleep with him.... couldn’t be more direct if he tried! I was in shock and complimented all at the same time 😂 😂😂😂😂 come to think of it, now that I’m divorced maybe I should look him up 😂😂😂😂😂

Anonymous

I get hit on every single day at work, my middle aged and old men🙄🙄 Creepy. I work in a bank and men tell me they love my hair and eyebrows? I don’t get it. A lot of men say filthy things in Spanish under their bread ;) I even have men that come in with their wives that say “isn’t she beautiful?” Middle aged men give no fucks.

Anonymous

‪Sat on a train. Next to three lads who are drinking beer and talking about the tits on the girls in the rest of the carriage and ranking them out of 10. It’s 11am. And apparently mine are a 6.‬ ‪Stay fucken classy lads....😖😖😖‬

Anonymous

The only time I've ever been hit on was not so much funny as it was unsettling. I love the Metropolitan Museam of Art. It's one of my favorite places in the world. I live in a suburb of NYC and I don't get into the city for fun as often as I would like, but last winter I was in front of the Met, just going up to the entrance, and this guy selling candy bars out of a box asked if I would buy some to support the YMCA or something (you see guys selling candy and stuff sometimes in the city who say they're raising money for a charity or a school team or whatever; some of them really are fundraising, some are just trying to make some cash). I truthfully said I didn't have any cash on me (didn't want to buy candy from him anyway, but I wasn't lying about being out of cash). I went to walk away and he kept talking to me. He asked if I had a boyfriend. Where was my boyfriend? I said I didn't have a boyfriend. He said damn, that's hard to believe because I'm so beautiful. Now, I was 21, but I'd never been hit on before in my life. I felt flattered, but mostly shocked and uncomfortable. I said thank you, and he asked if I wanted to go out with him. He could show me a really good time. I said "No, but thank you, sorry," and started to turn away. He said, "Damn. Well, can I hug you so I have something to remember you, beautiful girl?" (Which doesn't even make much sense.) He was already reaching out toward me. I completely froze (did NOT say yes, did not say anything) and he hugged me real tight like he'd known me forever, on the busy sidewalk in front of the Met. I think he said something about my hair smelling nice. He smelled like gross tobacco. I stayed frozen, but he was still hugging me, and I sort of ducked under his arms and stammered apologies (for some reason) as I backed away. At this point the guy became enraged, and started full-on yelling at me, "It's because I'm black, isn't it? You think you're too good, don't want a black man to be your boyfriend, do you white girl?!" I squeaked, "i just don't want to date anyone!" and I hurried away as fast as I could. I think he started to follow me, but one of the other guys in his candy-selling group or whatever walked up to him as I rushed away. I was really upset, but I still wanted to go to the museum. The thing is, I had gone in the wrong direction in getting away from the guy, and I would have had to walk past him again. I was scared and I didn't even want to turn around and look back toward there. I wrongly thought there was another entrance, so I kept walking in the direction I was going. I wound up going walking around the entire museum through the park (the Met back up against Central Park) to get to the entrance. This took me a full hour, partly because the Met is a MASSIVE museum, and partly because I was nauseous and really anxious and not moving very fast. The ground was also very icy. It certainly wasn't the most harrowing experience anyone has ever had, obviously, but I was very unsettled by the whole thing - the long unwanted hug, the creepiness, the being yelled at and called a racist for politely turning down a very weird and inappropriate pick-up attempt. It's especially upsetting because I've never been asked out aside from this nonsense. Oy so sorry to dump this crap here. Hope it's okay for me to share it. I'm really bad at getting concise and I always seem to write the longest, most irrelevant posts.

Brooke Hunt

I don't really ever get hit on...like ever...but there was one time in a bar. I was DDing, so I'm not drunk. This guy comes up to me, hammered, and chats me up. No big deal. He then slurs "I like your glasses...you look like a sexy librarian." I laughed then excused myself you the ladies room to get away haha.

Ellen (Gaelandia's Chief Justice and Personal Trainer)

When I was in college, I was a cashier at a store that sold health and beauty stuff, among other things. There was this young guy that I started noticing because he always seemed to come in when I was working, would always come to MY register, and would always ALWAYS buy condoms and a candy bar, which he would then give to me as a gift (the candy, not the condoms 😂). I could tell he liked me, but I assumed he had a girlfriend because of all the rubbers he was buying. I found out later that he would come back and return the unopened boxes of condoms when I wasn’t there. EVERYONE knew that he did this to “impress” me and it was a running joke at work, unbeknownst to me. Apparently it was his shy boy way of showing he was DTF???

Anonymous

It was my first day of work and he said, " OMG you are just so damn cute! I just wanna catch you in a pokeball! " I laughed so loud XD I thought it was odd but funny as it was the first time I met him. Now we're best friends lmao.

Anonymous

I was on a venting app and someone posted a comment on one of my posts asking me if he can marry me. I just said "Hell no". Also, not exactly hitting on but this guy on Tinder was trying to flirt with me and asked me what I thought about his last photo, asked me if he looks hot. And then I said he just looked high in the bathroom. He was like "Seriously? I was trying to look all sexy and shit." I replied with "You tried."

Anonymous

Keep in mind I’m a millennial who attended a liberal arts university, so you already know there are hipsters EVERYWHERE. Well, in second year I was an arts reporter for the school paper, and I went to a small indie concert at a locally owned pub. If my town was the Hipster Capital of The World, then that pub was its Hipster Town Hall. So I was there before the show, at the counter, sipping my wine and jotting something in my notebook, minding my own business, when I notice this guy at the other end of the counter is watching me. He’s looking me up and down, the whole shebang. Then after a few minutes he slides over in the most suave way you can imagine, and then asks, “So...what are your political views?~” Keep in mind this was during Canada’s federal election a few years back.

Anonymous

Come to think of it, I've never been hit on. 😅 All I get are catcalls and some stares. 😑

Anonymous

The first one I can think of was when I was a sophomore I think in college, I flew to Texas to visit family and one day we had gone to a Dunkin Donuts that had JUST opened that day. When we were leaving there was a marching band outside to celebrate or whatever, and one of the snare line kids looked at me and tried to look suuuper impressive playing something/attempting at stick tricks. I looked him dead in the eye and said “your diddles are dirty” and his face DROPPED and his buddy behind him was howling with laughter. Being a percussion major in undergrad had its high points sometimes!! 😂 if I think of any more I’ll post them!

Anonymous

I was in my car stopped at the longest red light of my life when an older hippy lookin dude came out from under the overpass behind me and walked up to my window. I rolled it down thinking he was gonna ask for some change, instead he yelled YOU ARE TOO PRETTY TO BE DRIVING THIS CAR! YOU DESERVE A NICER CAR! I burst out laughing as it so unexpected and he continued with I HAVE 3 DAUGHTERS AND I TELL THEM DON'T EVER LET A MAN DISRESPECT YOU, LET HIM TREAT YOU LIKE A QUEEN. I was still laughing hysterically and just said uh, Thank you? Then he went back to hangin out under the bridge and the light finally changed. I still drive and love my car as it was my grandmother's and a memory of my childhood ♡

Anonymous

Hmm...I’ve been hit on by some of my male patients before. Unfortunately this would make even the funniest of pick-up lines a thousand shades of awkward and inappropriate in a <i>“Err, no thanks. I don’t feel like losing my medical license over this!” </i>sort of way 😬 One day I saw an elderly fellow who had come to the clinic to have his blood pressure assessed. As often happens when I meet a patient for the first time, he made some polite small talk as I looked through his chart. One of the things he said was, “You look awful young! Are ya married?” Although most people in HR would frown upon a question like that, I’ve gotten it from elderly patients so many times that it doesn’t faze me anymore, especially since it’s almost always meant as benign small talk. Me: “Oh, no, I’m not married.” Him: “So you’re sayin’ I have a chance then?” He was one of those friendly, grandfatherly types and I was 95% sure that he was just pulling my chain. My first inclination would’ve been to laugh at his joke, but since there was the slim chance that he was actually being serious, I froze for a second before stammering, “Err...well, y-you see, I-I can’t really-“ Him: “Naw, I’m just kiddin’ ya, my dear! My wife would kill me faster than my blood pressure if I made eyes at another lady!” Cue my internal sigh of relief, and he and I were then able to have a chuckle over it 😛 But the most awkward patient encounter I’ve had was when I was a student doing my urology rotation. I was assessing a man in his 50’s who’d been having urinary problems because of an enlarged prostate. He was a jovial fellow who had a hippie look about him since he was wearing a tie dye shirt with shorts, and had long hair in a ponytail. After I finished asking him my questions, I asked him if he would be okay with me performing a digital rectal exam to assess the size of his prostate. Him: “Hmm. On one condition.” Me: “And that is...?” Him: “You gotta pull my hair and call me Daddy first!” Again, I was pretty sure he was joking. But I was so taken aback by what he said that I kinda just stood there, staring blankly at him with my mouth half-open in shock. There was an awkward silence until he said, “Umm...sorry, I probably shouldn’t have said that. I tell that joke to Dr. K [the preceptor I was working with] during every check-up, but I guess it must sound a lot different to hear it if you’re a woman. I just hate getting rectal exams so much that I gotta keep it light-hearted, you know?” Me: “Oh. It- it’s okay. I, uh, I imagine it’s not the most comfortable thing in the world to have done to you. Well...err, if it’s any consolation, I’m told that I have really small hands. If- if that helps any.” And <i>that’s</i> you make an already awkward situation even more painfully awkward! 😳 He and I ultimately had a laugh about it, but to this day I still brace myself for the unexpected whenever I ask a patient if I can do a rectal exam 😝 #buttstuff #ButNotTheFunKind

Anonymous

I can talk to people if they address me but usually im very guarded, so i guess its my body language or something cause i've never been hit on, maybe gotten checked out or something but never hit on as aggresively as some of you ladies are saying. Maybe its nit part of the culture where i live ? ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ

Anonymous

Besides the awful line that I’ve shared with some others on the community page that resulted in my actual marriage 😳 (the infamous polar bear line)... someone actually added me in LINKEDIN just to message me in Spanish to tell me I was beautiful and to message him back. I don’t speak Spanish at all. In fact I had to google translate his message. But LinkedIn?! Like, seriously bro, does your offer also come with a salary increase and relocation package? Because if not...gonna be a hard pass from me.

Anonymous

I work at a grocery store in a small town and I get my fair share of unwanted attention from all kinds of unsavoury men. One of them came up to me, showed me the different boxes of biscuits he had in his basket and whispered sweetly (verging on creepily) to me "I know at least one thing we have in common. We both like biscuits a little bit too much". First time a man tried to seduce me by reminding me that I'm chubby 😆

Anonymous

I was once walking down the street and suddenly a guy walked by me and said "Excuse me, miss, you dropped something." I looked around myself to see what it was I had dropped and then the guy goes "my heart." That's one pick-up line I didn't quite mind, it was kind of sweet 😂

Anonymous

Another time in college, my roommate and I went to the beach for spring break. While attending a foam party (oh god...lol) we were dancing in the bubbles with thousands of our closest friends, when this very obviously wasted guy came up and started dancing with me. No harm no foul until he grabbed my hand and pulled it behind me, shoved it down his pants and whisper-yelled into my ear “you wanna touch the cock, don’t you? Touch the cock!” I did not, in fact, touch said cock.

Anonymous

There was a guy I was flirting with in college. At one point, outside of class, he reaches out as if to trace my throat and murmured "I'd love to give you a pearl necklace." 😬 Dude. Really? Granted I am a sexy obsessed 19 year old at the time (some things don't change), and i was thinking about shenanigans at some point, but we hadn't even been on a date yet. My response? "Oh, i already have one! It was my grandmother's!" *Blink blink, innocent smile* He clearly couldn't decide if i was playing stupid or if it really went over my head. 😇😈

Anonymous

Beautiful also has U &amp; I lad...... come on now 😂

Anonymous

I used to drive this teeny tiny Jetta (which is irrelevant, except it was my first car so I was really young) and I was at a stop sign waiting to turn out into traffic. It was a nice day and most people had their windows down. Some guy turned onto the street I was on and as he passed, leaned out of his window and yelled "you're beautiful!" super loud right @ me. 😳 It was like No Scrubs except he was in the driver's side so I guess we should've gotten married. Also, a customer once told me that I would look better without my glasses and I wish I'd had the presence of mind to say, "YOU would look better without my glasses!!!!!"

Anonymous

True story ladies, Keep in mind that I do not get hit on. I just get the up and down looks, the "nice ass" comments (a lot of people are obsessed with my ass, it's kind of weird) as well as awkward stares... but rarely hit on directly... I was with my (at the time) boyfriend and his family eating at this fairly expensive Brazilian restaurant where they bring skewers of meat, seafood, veggies and this amazing cinnamon grilled pineapple to your table and they carve some onto your plate. One of the servers came over to the table with his food option and asked if anyone wanted some more. I had really liked that particular option so I raised my hand, as did my boyfriend, and his Mother, Father, and Brother. It was a big round table and I was on the opposite side from the server. He saw that I raised my hand with the group.. He flat out ignored everyone and went to where I was sitting. So all of the server's are supposed to chit chat with you as they serve up the food and there are about 5 of them at your table at one time because there are multiple selections and the usually bring them all at once. This guy asked which selection everyone had liked the best so far. Looking only at me with a quick look up to my bf, who the server had passed right by. Obviously it was that one for me so that is what I said..... Now Ladies, the sentence this man said to me IN FRONT OF MY BOYFRIEND AND HIS PARENTS made the rest of the dinner really awkward for my.... Such a simple phrase but intentionally making it sound dirty. The server said "Oh yeah? I could see that you were eyeing my meat. Good choice, it's the best tasting one here." I was not expecting that. Neither was my boyfriend's family. What a cocky player. Looking back now it does give me a bit of a laugh. I felt really bad though because his parents were paying for my meal. 😂😄😂

Anonymous

Omg and you know in drunkland they thought they were soooooo smooth😂😂 and so original, too!! Lolololol

Anonymous

OKAY so I’m sure that guys have hit on me before and I’ve just been VERY unaware (it’s not a common occurrence lol) BUT I remembered 3 more stories. 1. This didn’t happen to me, but a friend of mine when we were at a music festival. We were younger so I think 2 of us (myself included) were about to go to college and the other three were basically right behind us. There were 5 of us, and instead of going to the afternoon seminars like we were supposed to, we took our chairs and sat under some trees inbetween two of the vendor buildings. We were just hanging out, when two girls came up to talk to my friend Noah. Noah is pretty cute, but mainly expressionless and is 600% done with most things but so nice. One of the girls asks him “can I show you a magic trick?” He reluctantly says “sure” and she takes his hand in hers and says “can you feel the magic?” And he just looks at her with the most deadpan face and says “no” 😂 she and her friend left promptly after that! 2. I think I was on tinder and had matched with a guy who also said he studied percussion or whatever. We were chatting and he asked me who I studied with, so I told him “oh I’m with Dr. ____ at ____ college” and he, without missing a beat, goes “you study with ERIK??? That guys the shit!!” And I was so surprised I couldn’t answer him!! I love my teacher and he really is the shit but I could and can never call him by his first name 😂😂 he was basically my dad!! 3. This was just last year, so my senior year in undergrad. There was this guy that lived in my apartment building that would sometimes come around and try to introduce himself. We (an apt of 5 girls) couldn’t tell if he was just trying to be friendly or something else...but sometimes he would just invite himself into the apt and chat for a long time and everyone was uncomfortable. Once he stopped by with a pizza, saying he was on his way back to his place to watch the game or something. 2 of us were Home, both in sports bras and shorts. We had a weird feeling he somehow knew when we were half naked and would come and sit and talk while we wanted to die basically. Can’t remember what happened to him, but it was uncomfortable 😂

Anonymous

I don't know if this is considered funny! It was more like awkward, but I remember this one time in particular I was at the bus station waiting for my bus to go home and a guy approached me asking for directions to get somewhere, after I did he thanked me and left. Seconds after he approached me again and said: can I tell you something? I said: sure, he said: you have beautiful lips! I was stunned for couple of seconds like did I just heard that right lol.. Then I laughed and said: thank you (with hands gesture saying what do you want)! Then he said: I'm not trying to get anything from you or anything, I just came to tell you that you have beautiful lips that's all and he took off! It was awkward but in a funny yet sweet way lol.. Enjoy the Weekend everyone xoxox

Anonymous

Oh man oh man oh man. Let's see! I've had some creepy ones. At a bar with some friends, having some margaritas, this guy walks over to me and says, "I love the way you lick the salt off your lips. How about we get out of here and I let you lick something else?" Nah bruh I'm ok! We all stood up and left the bar immediately! Another time a guy just walked up and asked if I'd ever been with a man who could make me squirt. That was a particularly disgusting way to open a conversation. Then the creepiest one the made me literally run to my car and get the hell out of dodge was this, I was at a show and some guy grabbed me and said "You have beautiful eyes, I'd like to see them cry so I can kiss away your tears." 😳 I noped right the hell out of there!

Anonymous

To be fair...the English translated version seems like he carefully considered his word choices 😂😂😂

Anonymous

300 COMMENTS!! WOW! 😳

Anonymous

The eyes have it apparently.... 👀 Had a gentleman approach me in a bar to tell me my eyes were “absolutely captivating.” He asked if he could draw my portrait (I figured he was going for the Titanic line “like one of your French girls” 😜) but he was serious!!! In the middle of this bar he had me sit at a stool and he did a sketch of me.... he was actually quite good! 😂 it was the most awkward, but flattering, incident I can recall. I actually still have the picture. Had another fella comment on my eyes and when I said “yes, that is the natural color of my eyes” he told me to take out my contacts and prove it... in the middle of a dance floor in a nightclub 🤨 how on earth he could even tell the color of them with all the strobe lights and such, I’ll never know

Anonymous

There are two times that I was hit on that come to mind. Sorry if this gets long. The first was when I was in a bar in NYC with a friend just having a ladies night out when a balding short middle aged man walked up to us at the bar and asked "Have you seen my friend Randy Jackson?". No hello, no how are you, just name dropping Randy Jackson out of the blue. This is kind of dating myself now but this was when American Idol was getting really big. The funny thing was neiher of us watched the show so we had no idea who he was talking about. And then of course Randy Jackson actually does show up, was a bit of a creeper, and we all had a very awkward conversation about how marriage was great (my friend was married and was not shy about pointing that out). Still, that didn't stop him from inviting us to a party that night. We declined. And then the next day when my friend and I are having lunch she's flipping through a magazine and sees this guy in it and screams. She thinks we should have gone to the party but then I remind her how creepy those guys were being. Doesn't matter if you've got a little fame - a creeper is a creeper. The second was a more entertaining on a personal level. So I'm...a medical examiner, meaning I perform autopsies to determine cause and manner of death (similar but not the same a a coroner but I won't get into that here). And because it's an unusual profession I sometimes fib when people ask me what I do for a living instead of going through the whole song and dance - so for some people simply "doctor" will suffice. But there was one time I was in a taxi, don't remember where I was going, when the taxi driver starts laying on the charm, or trying to at least. And eventually we get to the "so what do you do for a living" question. I was kind of done with him at this point so I told him I'm a medical examiner. There was a pause. Then he said "You mean with the dead people?". I smiled at him through the rearview mirror and said yes. His response was a very emphatic "oh no!". And then we rode in complete silence the rest if the way.😂

Anonymous

I wonder how old you think middle aged is? 🤔 I wonder how old you think Gael is! Sorry G! 😜🙊

Anonymous

I had more pick up lines to share but kinda controlled myself Letty 🙈

Anonymous

Camels. When they offer camels to your family in exchange for you. 🐫🐫🐫 😂😂😂

Anonymous

I work in a public library, and all the staff are women in their 20s and 30s, so getting hit on during front desk shifts is practically part of the job description. Most recently one of the regular’s that come in asked if I liked living at my house, then proceeded with asking if I’d like it better if he moved in! ...Hell no I wouldn’t 😳 The funniest was when we got a note in the suggestion box saying “I suggest that I should be allowed to f*ck the staff”, which had to be brought up in a staff meeting in case any of us felt personally threatened... funniest meeting we’d ever had! The creepiest was when a guy, who’d been watching me during a Children’s program, said “I reckon you’d be good with our kids if we had any”.

Anonymous

Love these stories ladies! There’s sweet guys here, awkward ones, the typical cringe-worthy arses, and even a few crazies. Not sure where my most memorable pick up story falls in those categories, but I definitely laughed when it happened. Guy tells me I’m the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen and could he sing a song for me that he wrote. I’m always falling for the guitar player so I’m game. Guy sings Neil Young’s “Old Man” to me, Guess he figures it’s so ‘old’ I wouldn’t recognize it. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

Anonymous

I was in Frankfurt once and I was asked if I came from Spain and I (smiling!) said No, then they said "oh that's a shame cause I was hoping you could teach me some dirty talking in Spanish"... Funny thing is that this happened like 5-6 times while i was there but noone asked where i came from instead so they would have know i do speak Spanish.... Then there was a time in Phoenix where this very cute dar hair/eyes tall guy approached to me ( I was in the mall) and said:" Bongiorno bella" like if he wanted to ask me a question and that was just a way to say hi, but this time i said "bongiorno" , so he said "i knew it! I knew you were italian! " then he asked ( in English)if i was having a fin time shopping because he had plans for me, i said "oh...do you?? And his response was: oh yeah, take you to the church, marry you and spend the rest of our lives making babies...cause...I'm in a very good shape and never get tired" ...i didn't even had to say anything because next thing i heard was my lovely English colleague calling me:oh there you are my love , so i literally ran into his arms! :P

Anonymous

I can teach you some dirty talk in Spanish for the next one! 😂😂😂

Anonymous

I wasn’t really being hit on because I was already seeing the man-child that this story is about, but I think it’s valid I’d been ‘dating’ him for two weeks (I say dating - we hadn’t been out once and all he wanted was for me to shack up with him in his little flat all day, every day... thankfully I refused! You’ll see why I’m incredibly thankful later!) So after I came home from a long night shift at work I found him on my doorstep. Now, bear in mind I hadn’t told this guy my address yet because I have always been careful about things like that, he’s gone through my contacts on Facebook and asked everyone until someone told him! Still to this day I have no idea who it was! As he now knew where I lived anyway I let him in because he said he wanted to talk and I have a dog who is as gentle and sweet as they come but if anyone threatened me he’s large enough to scare them away, so I knew I was safe! He came inside and immediately started confessing his deep and meaningful love for me, making it clear that he wanted to be together forever and ever and get married and have 2 children and a house just outside the city (2 WEEKS LADIES AND GENTS) He then got down on his KNEE and promptly proposed to me!!!! WHY?! I was so embarrassed and flustered because I very barely had feelings for this guy and really wanted to avoid hurting him so I had to choke my way through a long speech that basically meant NO WAY JOSÉ! And he eventually left after tears and begging me to reconsider his offer... A few days later I found some of his ex girlfriends online and my curiosity got the better of me so I got in touch with them to ask if things had been similar when they knew him, every single one said yes, they had also been proposed to after a few weeks and it had ended in tears, not only that but 3 of them had slept with him on multiple occasions and ALL 3 of them had become pregnant afterwards! To make things worse this guy has been stalking me for the past 2 years, just occasionally popping up online using a new profile that I haven’t managed to block or report yet, and asking me things like how my cousin’s wedding was or if I enjoyed my trip to Navan a few weeks ago, things I HAVE NOT PUT ONLINE! He’s also blocked all of the girls he impregnated so they’ve had to raise their babies by themselves... I’m not afraid of this silly little twig or anything, and I’m not freaked out any more because I know if he comes anywhere near me I have a support network close to me, I actually find it mildly amusing how hopeful he still is after 2 years that I’ll turn round and proclaim my undying love for him! What a story 😂

Anonymous

I was on my way to work and a car pulled up beside me at a traffic light. I had my window down. The guy on the passenger's side sticks his head out the window and said, "Didn't I just see you at Walmart? " I answer nicely and said, "Sorry, but no I was not at Walmart this morning ." His response was "Oh OK. Well you are very beautiful." I said thank you. He was about to ask for my number and the light turned green and I drove off. 😂😂😂

Anonymous

An older friend actually asked me if I would be interested in dating him. When I gently turned him down, he asked me if I thought my mom would go out with him. In the same five minutes!!! So smooth.

Anonymous

Hi everyone! ❤️ Happy Saturday 😘 ok so I have a couple I don’t tend to get hit on very often but when I do they seem to be all or nothing attempts! 😐 so one such attempt was in a little pub in Scotland I was talking to this rather handsome lad, his friend on hearing my name jumped up disappeared and came back a few minutes later when Roseanna the song by ToTo was playing on the juke box he the proceeded to sing the whole song to me whilst doing a little dance (the guy I was talking to was just sat there dumbfounded) then at the end kissed my hand and said “just like the song I want to wake up in the morning and see your eyes 👀 “ it was really cute! a bit creepy and over the top but 10/10 😳😳😳 another one was January when I was in a bar in Mexico with my friend we got talking to a couple of guys from Germany ( a father and two sons about our age) it was a bit awkward with the language barrier but we got through it and was having a great time until the two lads and my friend wanted a cigarette, so off they went leaving me with their dad which was fine until he told me I have beautiful innocent expressive eyes and he needed to remove my innocence, then knelt on the floor in front of me put his head on my lap and began to beg me to let him remove my clothes and fuck my sweetness and innocence away over and over (word for word) And he was dead serious!!! I was out of there!!! Luckily the bar man was a hero! 🏃🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ it’s funny looking back but at the time it was really creepy and weird there’s a few more but these were the most unforgettable.

Anonymous

Important question, G. Did you go?

Anonymous

I work for a school so single dads kind of happen to "try" and hit on me. The thing is a conversation starter are my 7/8 plugs in my ears. They always ask "does is hurt? How long did it take to stretch out your ears?" Etc. One particular parent asked me out and said they'd buy me more plugs for my ears, I would giggle and reply that it's fround upon for me to date a students parent.

Anonymous

Yes! I’ve definitely gotten that a couple of times. Creeps me out.

Anonymous

I don’t have many stories because I don’t really get hit on. I do have a lot of people compliment me on my hair and my eyes (they are big 👀 haha) but one creepy encounter I can think of, I was younger, 19, at the time and working at Pottery Barn (a high-end interior design retail store). A man, I’m going to guess 40-45, came up to me and told me how beautiful he thought I was. I thought that would be the end of the creepy encounter (surely he knew I could have only been 18-20 at the time) but instead continued to stand right beside me as I continued to greet customers as they came in the store. He was just...standing there, arm touching my arm. I would scoot away and he would come close again. I’m a shy person when it comes to men and dating and what not so I just sort of stood there awkwardly hoping he would leave. He continued to compliment me. Said I was too beautiful to work in a retail store (what does that even mean...?) He asked if I liked older guys! I told him I was 19 and not interested. After a few more words he told me he would be back to talk to me again to see if I had changed my mind 😑 once he finally left I immediately went to my manager and told her the story and that if she sees me run off the sales floor to the back, it means he has returned 😂 BOY BYE 👋🏻

Anonymous

I just texted Ana my best friend asking about this and she reminded me when we went for a weekend getaway to Valle de Bravo(mountains, lake, butterflies...beautiful place) and there was a mistake with the hotel reservation so our room had only one bed instead of 2. There were no more rooms but we were ok with sharing the bed(btw she found out i giggle while I sleep!) and ...ok Ana is into girls , so at that time she was wearing a rainbow coloured bracelet, so i don't know if someone overheard when we were complaining about "our" bed(matress was a nightmare) + her bracelet + Ana is such a beautiful woman that thing is we had few threesome proposals...all of them quite disgusting but now we can laugh about it. They all said that they were so good and had a great "hardware" that we would start liking men after being with them... Hehehe

Anonymous

Didn't work? Is that possible with our G? No! Even if he wanted to... He'd get the girl! 😄😄😄

Anonymous

I agree with Sarah, getting hit on while working at a library is part of the job. Two incidents come to mind. This creepy old man told me I was young enough to be his granddaughter then proceeded to ask me to come over to his place for a nightcap. The second was a patron we dubbed Nazi Boy because he dressed like an ss officer and tried to make himself physically resemble Hitler, down to the mustache and haircut. After a few months of him "communicating" to the staff in a series of gestures and grunts, he told that I looked like a girl with goals and dreams and he was into that. Then he gave me a nazi salute. Stunned and appalled. Thankfully we haven't seen either patron in a few months. (Watch them both show up Monday).

Anonymous

Not particularly funny.. buuut last year Christmas Day is a big going out day here in Sweden , soo we went to a club in the center of Stockholm. And this guy asked me how big are your boobs? Are they natural? My first thought was he’s drunk I can answer him. So I told him my size and that they are real. He said it doesn’t matter you will end up in my bed anyway?! My martini ended up on his suite. 💪🏼

Anonymous

I was at a club being chatted up by this Italian guy. Really flirtatious, pretty cute but I was a bit sloshed so I didn't want to go home with him. We went to leave. My friend was trying to be a good wingwoman and was attempting to sneak off into the distance but I grabbed her so we're doing this three headed monster stumble-roll down the street. We walked him to the next bar over cuz we were headed home (strength in numbers? I know guys don't necessarily worry about that stuff but still). So he leans in real close and asks me, "Is there room in your bed for two?" And I don't know why I found that so funny then or still find it so funny now but I died laughing. I told him no, it's a twin size. 😂 He got the hint.

Saya J

That's flattering, at least! I can't even comprehend 200 camels.😂😂😂

Anonymous

HAWT bartender at my regular club who I had been attempting to chat up for a year or so was my knight in shining armor one night when my car had been broken into. He drove my car to his place and I drove his....so I wouldn't get cut by all the glass (It was a goth/bondage club...and needless to say was wearing almost nothing under a trench coat). He offers to fix it in the morning. Needless to say...he got his. Found out a bit later...he paid a homeless person. To break my window...he got punched. I would have given him what he wanted had he asked...he didn't have to break my shit. Lol

Anonymous

When a friend and I had gone on vacation we decided to visit the local tourist spot of shops and bars and restaurants. We took a break to sit on a bench and a guy who had too much liquid courage came up and was rambling to us about something.......who knows what. He stopped and just quietly stood there staring at me which felt like an awkward eternity. He finally asked if we liked to party. I told him "NO and you're standing on my foot". We walked away laughing and you could hear his friends laughing that he got shot down. How do you not know you are standing on someone's foot?!

Danibee

ahahahaha, note: I NEVER get hit on. Or whistled at. Or noticed in public in general. So, the closest I've come is: 1. in college, while canvassing for a political campaign, with some volunteer teenagers, we were in a neighborhood that ALSO was hosting trick or treating at the same TIME, so it was a nightmare traffic situation. as I was herding our teens past various ghouls, a teenage mummy yelled out at me (all bundled up in a coat &amp; hat) "Hey!!....you LOOK NICE!" as his buddies cheered him on. Thrown off balance, &amp; brainwashed from days of calling and door-knocking, I answered back, "UM THANKS. VOTE FOR [CANDIDATE NAME]" XD (I'm not even that political, I volunteered to do it because they flew me back home to help herd teens around. XD) 2. when I moved to a new city, I noticed that I had an everyday, T-shirt material swishy dress that also happened to be red, not v remarkable otherwise, but EVERY TIME I wore it outside, some pickup truck would drive by and HONK. The first time it happened, I was so surprised I nearly fell over laughing, at the gas station. Then it became a funny, random occurrence. The best time was when I was sitting in my car, at a stoplight. Lunchtime rush, two cars on either side, my windows rolled up, but as I wait I hear something faint that sounds like someone yelling to get my attention. I look over, and at the crosswalk, a few lanes over, there was an (I think) homeless guy, waving at me. When I look over, he smiles, and gives me an intentional thumbs up. (I was wearing the red dress, but good GRIEF, he couldn't have but seen my SLEEVE as my arm rested on the window) So I'm assuming there must have been some strange charm on this dress before I bought it at the thrift store. :-P

Anonymous

My funniest were in Ireland, of course.💚 There were 2 that stood out. First- There was a group of guys from a sports team on my flight from Cork to Edinburgh. My 5am flight from Edinburgh back to Cork had the same group of guys. We all talked &amp; turns out they are rugby players. On the flight, I was seated next to one of them. He fell asleep &amp; his head ended up on my shoulder. I didn't want to wake him but his mates saw and yelled at him to wake up. They told him to stop drooling on me and one of them made him switch seats to protect the "poor lass from drowning on a plane". I told the guy who ended up next to me that it was ok and he said "Nah, luv. I'm the one that's been eyeing ya so it's not fair that he got to sleep next to ya and I didn't". Needless to say, it was a entertaining flight back. Second-I was at the Cliffs of Moher taking in the view. He picked what looked like a clover from the grass in front of us and said "Look at that, I've found a good luck charm" I said that I thought 4 leaf clovers were the ones that were good luck. He said "I'm not referring to the clover, baby, I meant you." I laughed because he was so smooth about it. He is a sweetheart. 😊 Gotta love that Irish charm 🇮🇪💚

Anonymous

Haha. Those girls reallllly knew what they wanted. 😂 Mine? No, I can't...🙊

Anonymous

Had a guy once throw the line "were your parents theives" trying to get that to work.... "Were your parents theives" "No" "They must have been. How else did you get those stars in your eyes" "A genetic birth defect" (Looks at me funny, and walks away)

Gaerwen3620

Once I was at a commercial store and there's a zone of ATMs so I got in the row for one. This guy gets behind me and without speaking signals with his hand asking wich ATM was I going to use. I signaled him the one on my left and then he nodded and signaled for the right one. He got in the right row and stayed there, silent. I don't consider myself a bashing woman but I see myself as average beauty so I'm usually not hit by men. So he continued silent for a minute or two and sudenly touched my shoulder. As soon as I faced him he goes "Ya' know... I hate ATM's". As I look at him quizzically he goes on "Once a lightning fell in X place (a place of the city not really close to where we were at the moment), it killed a Kid, you know. Just as it fell the damn ATM swallowed my card, butterfly effect they call it" By this moment I'm thinking "What is going on in this guys head?? It's not an usual conversation for a first time chat, is it??" Then we both got our turn to the ATM and as soon as I finish try and walk out of scene as stealty as I could but then he catches up "today I got it back darling, maybe a good day for surprises? Like a cute girl giving me her number?" I couldn't help but laugh at his style ^^ Pretty creepy but kinda original

Anonymous

Does getting honked at count? Many times I would be walking my dog and cars passing by would honk at me, accompanied with a whistling noise or some comment. Probably because of a nice outfit I had on. I also remember back in 2012 in the summer I was with a friend of mine walking home when a car passed by me. The driver in the car stuck his head out and started screaming at me hilariously “SEXY, SEXY, SEXY! YOU’RE SO SEXY! Be my girlfriend yo”, oh my 😂.

Anonymous

Emmy drew my best pick up story; a guy came up behind me in a bar and slid his hands around my hips from back to front, put his mouth next to my ear and whispered ‘What’s a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty gin joint like this?’ Needless to say, the hip squeeze, 1940’s opener and the confidence to do something like that, all put together? He pulled that night, alright!! 👌🏼😍

Anonymous

One of the 'funniest' was a guy asking me to help him carry his shopping around in a supermarket...😑 I didn't give him my number. The creepiest was a guy who is matched with on a dating app (that I'd not chatted with) spotting me in a club then messaging me to say so.

Gri (Sassy_One)

Damn, G! You have enough material for a new audiobook: “3D Hit on me, sexy” Ladies, you’ve given me life with all the laughs and feels!!😂😁 I’ve had the typical DM experience: a “hi” followed by wanted dick picks😑 Other than that, I remember when younger being out with a bunch of cousins, having a guy ask me to dance, and having him whispering INXS lyrics and trying to blow in my ear😂😂😂 “I need you tonight 'Cause I'm not sleeping There's something about you girl That makes me sweat” Kinda scary then, funny as hell now!!! 😂😂

Anonymous

Hmm... not a lot of funny stories on this one; mostly either sweet or creepy. Sweet &amp; random was the lovely young man in the Bahamas who offered to take me for a ride on his Jet-Ski in exchange for "one kiss from [my] cherry lips." (It was a fun ride, and the kiss was delightful. We both tasted like salt.) But there's one of the creepy ones that's also kind of funny, if that makes sense. I was in college &amp; younger/thinner/hotter/etc. It was May, and warm, and I'd put on a little sundress &amp; taken the bus to a town that had a lovely little homemade ice-cream shop. Afterwards, I stroll down the block to a comic book store. Three college guys walk past me and one of them looks me up &amp; down, settles his gaze between my neck &amp; my waist, elbows his buddies &amp; says "holy shit, look at those!" (Not "her," not even "the tits on her" -- just "those." Because apparently it was the rack that stood out?) It makes me laugh, looking back, just because it was kind of ridiculous. As if he were watching a pair of disembodied breasts move past him on a stick... and as much as cat-calling isn't great, that mental image is pretty funny.

Anonymous

Hello lovelies!!! Hope all is well with everyone. I would love to share one with you guys. So my twin sister and I were coming back from California from visiting another sister. It was about 10pm and Laraine and I were walking to baggage claim. We passed a group of older men sitting at a shoe shine booth(?). They stopped talking and stared. I immediately went into "flee" mode. (Why, you ask? Because I've always been hit on by old men. Not "older"...OLD! No matter my age, men as old as my dad and older have always liked me) But, I being raised the way I was, still showed respect to my elders and asked "How are y'all doing" while thinking *Shouldn't y'all be in bed already* They said "Fine, just fine" in a way that made me pick up my pace. I said under my breath to my sister "Come on Laraine, hurry." She's cracking up the whole time because she knows what my issue is. So we finally get to the carousel to get our bags and we hear footsteps...running behind us. "Excuse me? Excuse me?" Now I'm thinking *maybe one of us dropped/forgot something. I turn and see one of the OLD men running toward us. He begins talking to both of us but before he completes his sentence, Laraine says "Oh, I have a boyfriend..." and then the betrayal..."..she doesn't" I've never wanted to wring a neck sooo bad! She steps behind the "geriatric gigolo" and proceeds to laugh her ass of inconspicuously. While grandpa begins "flirting" Here are some of his pick-up lines "I'm on Social Security" - yeah, because that's what I'd lead with.. "I don't have any kids" - hmm wonder why... "I have my own place" - well..you've been on this Earth for a long ass time, so.... "I'm not like these young dumb boys" - is it because you're...not young? So I, being respectful, said "Uh, no thank you.." I'm watching my loving twin in my periphery almost to the floor..dying! I start picking up our luggage (all by myself, mind you) and say "I don't even live in Denver" "Yeah she goes to school in Fort Collins" - *Son of a Bitch! Laraine! SHUT THE HELL UP!* (it's amazing what you can say with just a look) "Oh I have a car. I can run you back and forth" "Nooooo. My dad will take me. You might know him you're about the same age" - *Take the hint dammit!* "Hold on baby girl. My doctor says I'm healthy so I can do what needs to be done to a woman" - what does that me....EW! Both me and Laraine stop in our tracks "You did NOT just say that!" in unison. Then we both proceeded to, still, respectfully (because that's how we were raised) tell his old ass off! We walked away and the first thing I said was "That was cold-blooded Laraine" and she busted up laughing again!

Anonymous

ACTUALLY, I do have one that turned out funny. At my most recent conference in a strange city, I went to a couple of diversity summits one evening. The first was an LGBTQ+ roundtable, where I met a couple of people who stuck around with me for the following general diversity summit where food and alcohol were served. (This is how you get a bunch of physicists in the same room: offer booze. Offer food if you want grad students there, too.) After my glass of wine was nearly empty—and this after a whiskey-ginger before the first summit that was far more whiskey than ginger—I commandeered a small table for the group I'd assembled. This group consisted of two women—one the leader of the LGBTQ+ branch of the society putting on the conference—and a gay man, all of whom were enjoying being at a table with people who weren't expecting us to be cishetero. The leader of the LGBTQ+ branch, who had by her appearance transitioned later in life, looked at me and asked, "Is it going to offend you if I hit on you?" It took me a second to figure out why it might offend me, but I laughed when I realized it. "No," I told her. "It's not going to go anywhere, but no, it's not going to offend me." A look of understanding bloomed across her face. "Oh...are you asexual?" "Yup." "Aww." She pouted playfully. "Well, you're still cute." "Yeah, I'm the killjoy of the sexualities," I teased. "That's not true!" The gay man on the other side of the table looked very distraught by my statement. "You're a fun person!" It was his reaction that made it hilarious. XD

Anonymous

I actually do have a funny storym. I don't know that itnecessarily falls under hit on, band it was kinda scary/stupid but at the same time a huge co.pliment, and if the guy hadnt had to deal with the consequences of his actions I believe he may have found a way to gave talked to me. I was walking down t the main street of Denver, it is called Colfax Blvd". I worked downtown at the time and it was Front Desk/Recepfion work. So Inalwsys jad to dress Business Professional. Well I seldom wear any skirt that ends above the knee, I feel it removes the "mystery" or appeal of that which is unknown, and (believe it or not) I have Really great "gams"... or so I have been told over the years,😉 nice enough that people with a foot/ankle or calf fetish have boon aggressive at times in their interest even). I took public transit daily to get to work, and on this particular day I had a bug about wearing something outside of my comfort zone. So I had donned a skirt that came to about 1.5 inches above the knee, a modest 2.5 heel nothing really that fancy you know. Well I walked across the street at the cross walk, and downtown here is very busy with traffic 24/7. This guy that was stopped at the red, his eyes locked on me/my legs to be more precise and when the light turned green he must have taken his foot off his brake and started forward, but did not apply the gas pedal, but the car behind him did. It wasn't pretty, it was a smaller car and his back end was munched. I gotta say though, even all these years, it still makes me chuckle when I recall it, and it was one of the best compliments I ever got, hands down. Lol, I definitely would have at least done coffee with him if he had been able to approach me and ask. 😄 (My phone is seriously acting up everyone, so if there are typos my apologies, I cannot edit the post because I cannot scroll up or down 😕) I Hope my story gives someone a smile or a chuckle... I know it does me!

Anonymous

He definitely gets an A for his effort...and he ran 😄

Anonymous

Never really been hit on/checked out, that I know of...and if I have been, I've been too oblivious to notice...I waver between wanting to be obviously hit on, and not wanting it...don't wanna seem too desperate, right? Right. :P So, anyway...there's this guy at a local fuel station that I frequent, and he never ceases to have a bit of "banter" with me, I guess you could call it...but then I can't honestly tell if he's like that with everyone or if he likes me *that* way...I'm honestly not sure if I want to know, because he's not really my "type," as it were. Annnnd, I'm hoping to get out of my current town and live elsewhere...:P

Anonymous

Wow. Omg. Wow. I I've come across some weird dudes in my day. But just to humor you, here's a few. 1) I was out clubbing when a guy walked up to me. He didn't say anything, just looked at me. Then out off the blue he closed in and LICKED my face, from my chin to my forehead. I then he just stated that he loved chocolate and tried to strike up a conversation. Needless to say, that did not happen 😂😂😂 2) Another club night, I was leaving the club a guy approached me. He was completely wasted. He said that he would love to have sex with me, but that he was too drunk that night to get it up. The he asked for my phone number, so we could hook up later that week. Not gonna lie, he made me laugh so hard, I kind of had to like him! 🤣🤣🤣 3) Then there's the creeper who tried to chat me up on a bus, saying how he would provide for me. I kindly declined saying that I could take care of myself. He spend the rest of the ride complaining that my apparent emotional damage wasn't his fault, that not all men are weirdos and that he wouldn't annoy me. Only to proceed stalking me through the grocery store and attempting to follow me home 🤔 4) The creepy bus driver who started off a friendly conversation only to hold me hostage on the bus when we'd arrived at the final stop. He refused to open the door until I gave him my contact information. He kept me in there for about 15 minutes, until finally some passengers walked up to board the bus. I sneaked out and took off. Fun fact: a few weeks later, the man nearly ran me over 😅

Anonymous

There was this big 4D photobooth at a Star Wars themed kiddie party that I just had to attend because I was (still am) a Star Wars nerd. I even brought my rather long lightsaber that I built @ HongKong Disneyland to celebrate my geek. But since it’s also heavy, I left it at my seat halfway through the party. While I was standing outside the 4D booth, this guy walks up to me and asks me if I’d like to get in the booth so he could show me his lightsaber and that he “wasn’t called the jedi master for nothing.” I completely missed the pun in that and answered, “Okay, wait ‘til you see mine. It’s bigger than yours.” He had a funny weirded out look on his face while walking away. 😜😜😜😜😜

Anonymous

Girl! The "Lick Man" I probably would have "licked" him right back with the palm of my hand...hard! An d the bus driver? Now that would have been scary! I don't see where people think that mess is ok! I'm glad those people showed up!

Anonymous

I was sitting at the bar of a restaurant waiting for my takeout order and having a glass of wine. A native American man sat down besides me and proceeds to start talking to me. 😞I just want my dinner and to go home after a long day. He looks a little rough and it's a fairly nice seafood place, so he stands out like a sore thumb. Apparently he was there to interview for a kitchen position. I'm giving the female bartender the "get my food and get me out of here" pleading eyes. Right about then, he looks me square in the eyes and says "I love your nose. It's very fuckable." 😲😳 Uhhh.... What do you say to that? I'm shy and not aggressive so I usually just try to ignore stuff like this. Finally after my discreet "help me" that I mouthed to the bartender she got the management who eventually asked him to leave. Then they had a nice young man walk me to my car because he hung around outside for like 20 min and I didn't want to leave. I guess a pale blond with a big nose did it for him, but the mechanics of fucking a nose are beyond me. 🤔 Not funny then, but funny now.

Anonymous

Salut tout le monde ! Hope you are having a good W.e❤ Despite the fact I mostly get "Psssssssssssstttted!" ( Avec tout mon respect, Votre Altesse - the Lizard Queen- ) or deeply stared at as if I am some kind of walking piece of meat 😧😡...... I remember some situations lead me to dress up like a man at times... Hit on stories ? Hmmm..that particular moment when you get hit on by bus drivers... classic with me. - don't ask me , I dunno - That one was DECENT at least. The man complemented my smile , keeping his hand to his chest, because I quote : "He has never seen a beautiful one in a while " , said I should smile more and then....seemed pretty DAMN serious about giving me a ride &amp; taking me home in bus tho ! I respectfully declined, but his attitude was priceless 😂❤😂. The other one is quite between funny /creepy : I was with a friend this time , both of us were kind of exhausted after Mr.X. lecture , finally haPpY to Go HOome! And then this man approches us at the wheel of his car, asking for help because he had one brilliant Scientific research Idea! but he didn't quite know How to proceed,'how to submit it'. Then comes the fun part : -15min talking about 'mosquitos'. -Me trying to find some coherence in there because who knows! Your intuition says something else but for some reason you give him some credit! The man can be right at some points! (Nevertheless , the more I am asking questions and the more it doesn't seem like there's something valid!) - Source of this 'idea': Television Program And then BAM! We went From mosquitos to mosquitos reproduction to " I need your numbers/contacts real quick so I can form whatever the hell he had in mind" That was a big : - let's get out of here, from me - fucking Hell 🤣 X.X.X.

Kaitlyn

I was hit on while in the emergency room... I had sliced my leg open jumping a fence lol it was about 3 in the morning I'm in the hospital getting stitched up and in the bed next to mine there was this really intoxicated guy. So he's getting in and out of his bed, yelling, swearing just being a drunk dick basically. 😂 Anyway he walks over to my bed sits down and tells me I'm hot and asks me if I'm doing anything later. 😩 All I wanted to do was hurry up and get the fuck out of that place. haha!

Anonymous

Ok i have more. In college we were going to a party and had gotten lost, so we had to stop at a pay phone. Apparently there was a car of guy behind us looking for the same party. My friend Tara gets out to call and she asked me for something so I opened the door and stood outside of it. All of a sudden, one of the guys gets out of the car and says "Hey! My boy wanna halla atchoo!" "Tara, he's talikng to you" "Nah, nah. You!" "Can't yo' boy speak for himself?" And I get back in the car. We get to the party and the guy finds me "I want to apologize for that dumbass. I didn't tell him to do that" "Ummhmm." "Seriously. That's not how I roll." "Umkay" - still skeptical. So we start talking and turns out, he was stationed in Wy and they'd come down to Co fun. He was nice and charming and my guard was at half mast. Then he takes out a mint and pops it in his mouth. "Why'd you do that? You think you're getting a kiss or something?" "Damn girl! Why are you so suspicious?" - I tilt my head and raise my eyebrow "Well why can't I have a kiss?" "You think a 30 min conversation deserves a kiss? You're time is THAT valuable?" - yeah, I was a little salty. We talked more then. "Man..umm...damn girl..."sucks air through his teeth*" - Now I KNOW what he's doing. He's making all of these noises so I'll say "what" so he doesn't just blurt out the, potentially, outlandish stuff on his mind....and yet I was curious. So i played along. "What?" "I don't know if I want to say it.." "Ok, then don't" - another dash of salt "Nah, nah..It's just that...you're teeth...they're making my dick hard" "What?!?!" - *...the fuck* (lips securely over teeth) "They are so white..and you're smile..." - I didn't hear his entire explaination because I was STILL like *W...T...F!* *Lets go out side so I can see them better.." - it wasn't like the sun was going to gleem off of them because it was..1:30 am* "No I'm not going outside with you, so you can see my teeth at 1 o'clock in the damn morning." "Why?" "Uuuuh..because my teeth are making your dick hard.." and went to find my friends. My sisters (Laraine &amp; I 16 yrs old Linda 20) and I were at the park down town with mom while she fished. We were sitting on a grassy hill watching people run a charity marathon. Laraine and I making Linda crack up over a guy Laraine met a week ago in the same park.(I won't tell you the details..I was being totally inappropriate-I know..surprising, huh?) So this TOTALLY hot, sexy, sweaty, 30 something guy comes walking up our little hill out of the blue, and comes over to us. "How are you ladies doing today?" - We stop and stare, because...damn! "Fine. how are you"- in unison. He chuckles "Hot" - you sure are. "So what's the run for" - Linda asks "......" - *WHAT? I don't remember what he said...I was looking him up and down "Oh, that's awesome!"- I don't know who said it..still staring at various body parts..I figure I would have a lot of time to stare while he flirted with Linda. He introduces himself to us, shaking our hands and when he gets to me, to my surprise, he crouches down and doesn't let go of my hand. "So do you live around here?" - I'm TOTALLY shocked and dumbfouded "Umm..no..we're here with our mom.." *STUPID* "...but we come here often..Do you live around her" *OMG what am I saying? I hope this man doesn't think I want to come over* "Yeah, just right across 17th St"- OH GOOOOOOSH! *What do I do? I peek over at my sister, Linda. She's just smiling. "Oh wow, so you had the perfect place to train.." - he stays there there just staring at me- I'm 16! I had nothing! "Well I better get back to the race.." "Ok" I said a little too enthusiastically "It was nice meeting you ladies..very nice meeting you, Elaine." - a smirk on his nice lips. "Like wise (insert name)" He stands up "I hope you win" "Probably not..." walking backwards "But worth it" He winks and runs off. I giggled like a school girl for the rest of the day...because I was one!!!

Anonymous

Patreon decided to eat up my comment , apparently, so here it is: Does online dating count? I believe I told that one before, but I had one guy slide into my DMs with "Were your pants made by Karl Marx? Because they're causing an uprising in mine" 😅 Later I found out that he just REALLY liked Soviet history and was VERY excited by the fact that I'm Russian 😄 Cringeworthy? Yeah. Stolen from some corner of the internet? Probably. Will this line haunt me till the day I die? Most definitely 😂

Anonymous

Omg it's so exciting here when I see ladies from Russia. I've been there for about 3yrs + I have a Russian cousine. Lately having a bit of problem with the language but giving my best not to forget. I've had my best years and memories in Moscow 😍

Anonymous

I was taking orders for drive thru and the guy getting his order taken said "my friend says you sound sexy can I get your number"

Anonymous

So this was in my fall semester, my first semester of college. I had taken an high level english class and I had made 3 very close friends, a gay guy and two girls. We're all still good friends with the professor, he fit into our group well then too. Anyways, one of the girls tried to introduce 2 straight guys into our group (lets call them J and D). They stayed kinda distant but they were cool. On the last day of class, J and D were hanging out with my friends and I, and they were all talking, I was being quet, lost in my own thoughts. I was wearing a rather low-cut tanktop and I have nicely sized breasts, and there was quite a bit of cleavage showing. D turns to me and says "Nice shirt." I look down, back up and thank him, then back down, only to realize the top is showing a lot. Not my bra or anything, but a LOT of cleavage. I pulled it up and said "I thought you were trying to get my attention about how low it was." He LOCKS EYES WITH MY CHEST AND SAYS "Thats what I was talking about...." I go dead silent, and I'm getting anxious at this point. He says "Your boyfriend is a lucky man" and I went into full-blown internal anxiety mode. I replied "Yeah, he is." And went dead silent. That was by far the CREEPIEST thing I've ever experienced... 😂

Anonymous

I worked in the paint department of home depot and I had this guy come up to me and say.. " I can say this and not get into trouble.. Can you shake it for me?!" I burst into laughter he did too then said " now that I made you laugh how bout I get ur number... I was seeing someone at the time so that was a no go but still was original to me and funny

Anonymous

I worked at a Home Despot paint Dept too! I had a HUGE crush on our Behr rep.

Lisa Lisa

This isn’t exactly funny, but one event that stunned me speechless. Many years ago I used to go to a copy shop for printing. One time while waiting to pick up my order, a homeless man burst into the store and looked at me, the only customer in the store. “You want to have dinner with me?” The store manager asked him to leave, which thankfully he did without any fuss. I was a little shaken and when I turned around the store employee came out from behind the counter, looking at me. He said, “That was scary.” Still not myself yet, I said, “He asked me to dinner!” The store employee said, “I was going to ask you to dinner, but I guess your standards are too high.” I didn’t know what to say, so I kept my mouth shut, picked up my prints and left the store.

Anonymous

I'm going to leave some pick up lines for you ladies and gents. Who knows maybe you need them in future. Have fun 😁 Guess what I’m wearing? The smile you gave me! ♡ Can I follow you? Cause my mom told me to follow my dreams ♡ Roses are red, violets are blue, lava is hot and so are you. ♡ If I was an octopus, all my 3 hearts would beat for you. ♡ I should call you Google, because you have everything I’m looking for. ♡ You Sexy, You Fine. I Really Wanna Make You Mine. ♡ Are you made out of grapes? Because you are fine as wine! ♡ Did you die recently? Cause girl, you look like an angel to me. ♡ I might be ugly but I’ll treat you right! ♡ Can you touch me? I want to tell my friends I was touched by an Angel. ♡ I heard you’re good in algebra, can you replace my X without asking Y ♡ Your mom told me to say “Hi” to you ♡ Is Your Dad A Preacher? Cause Girl You’re A Blessing

Anonymous

That last one would make me raise my eyebrow, because my dad IS a preacher! Whether I'm a blessing is up for some debate among certain types of people, I'm sure. The algebra and Google ones were pretty good...

Anonymous

This guy came up to me and said I had the hair of a goddess and the personality of George Clooney

Anonymous

One time, just as I got off the city bus, a guy came up to me and said "Damn, I oughta sign you up!" and I said, a little incredulously, "For what?" His reply? "My number One gorgeous one!" um, no, just no. I just chuckled, shook my head and kept on walking.

Anonymous

A guy once said I reminded him of a fridge and when I asked : "How ? " he answered : "Cool". I just walked away lol

V

i know I'm late to the party, but i just listened to Grinding for Gaelic, and this was exactly how my friend (now my husband) hit on me and i didn't know it. we were going out to a club and i asked him to teach me some phrases in Spanish. yea. he taught me to say, "would you like to fuck?" in spanish. he wanted me to continue to practice this phrase wth him by looking at him straight in the eyes and saying it. he said it meant "would you like to dance? " so of course, id trust my best guy friend to teach me Spanish, until another one of my friends in the group told me NOT to say that in the club. i asked why and she told me what it meant...yea, he was busted. such a nice memory, da bastard 😂

Anonymous

I went out with my female coworkers one night after work. We were walking into the club past the pool table. This guy stops right in front of me and says damn baby you're gonna wake up with me in the morning. Lol I was dumb founded by it but I responded with nope I'm waking up with the bar tender in the morning that's who I was dating at the time.

Sonya Garcia Nightmare

I was with my mother at shorties-i do not drink- (a bar here in pueblo county) and i was going outside 2 play volleyball (cause that is what we did) and as i go out, a man puts his arm around full weight and says, "hey baby, wanna head to my place and ah hav a "private party".....(?)" I could not tell if he were trippin and drunk or thought i was his gf, but i go, "hmmm, let me think of it"- i pull out 1 of my pocket knives out and say, "too fucking eveil for you dick, besides my bae behind you......" And his reaction 2 the both of us scared so much i hav not seen him since....... (Oui, i can be quite"dangerous" that is y i am now lonely heh 😅 [and not really funny 2 most of u, but this was my 1st time being hit on and i was funny in my opinion]).......

Anonymous

Had a guy write me a full one page poem on okcupid.... It was really bad is all I will say about it 😂

Anonymous

Lol the cutest and funniest way was actually how I met my bf. We were at a friends house party as a welcome back thing after winter break. And I found this out later but apparently he had been thinking about asking me out at that party. But anyway, he had 2 beers, a cup of cheap white wine, a shot of something, and he started playing with my cat ears headband that I wore. So he stole them from me and started wearing them around. My drunk self thought it was the funniest thing ever and thus we started talking about literally everything. Aaaaaaand things went from there at that house party back to my broom closet of an apartment that night LMAO. So hey, one of these funny hit on ppl can actually lead to a great relationship.... 8 cups of vodka spiked sangria later 😉😋🤣

KimS

I’m a bartender so, I get exposed to terrible flirting techniques fairly often. Best one was one Saturday night I customer said “baby, you are the sexiest transvestite I’ve seen all night.” For starters I’m a girl, I was born a girl physicals &amp; mentally. And while I work out a lot I know I’m not jacked up enough to pass for a transitional person on my worst day. So I knew the guy was just negging me. With confidence I leaned over the bar, looked him dead in the eyes and said “aw thanks baby, I know you were getting self conscious since I’m the girl here and my junk was just so much bigger than yours. Anything to help your positive self image my love! Here’s your drink.” His friends couldn’t stop laughing and they tipped me to trash talk their wise ass buddy for the rest of the night. He asked for my number at the end of the night and I told him I was gay 😂. I’m not but it’s my go-to when someone doesn’t get the hint there’s a difference between genuine flirtation and ball breaking bar banter. Like really, you called me a dude! Even though you were joking, you really think you’re getting my number after that?! 🤣🤣🤣