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What happens if you don’t process grief? How do you set boundaries with your and your kids’ screen time?

Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright explore the horror, comedy, and sound psychology of M3GAN. Jonathan talks about the importance of feeling grief and the cycle of caring, loss, and grief. He also defines attachment theory and explains secure and insecure attachments. They talk about Cady’s dependency on M3GAN and the wider discussion of being too dependent on technology. Alan shares tidbits about the production design and notes the subtly creepy tones of both M3GAN’s voice and the score. M3GAN is a bonkers murder fest but it’s also got substance!

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Comments

Lauren Wagstaff

For anyone that’s seen it…how scary is it? I can handle Zombieland but don’t like a lot of horror films, especially if it’s anything that could plausibly happen. This seems like a murder doll? Might be able to handle it

Anonymous

I wasn't the biggest fan of the movie, but the guys have convinced me to give it another watch. I did find the conversation about processing grief to be very profound however. As someone who has lost people close them, I still think about them fairly often and wonder what they would be like now, or what they would have to say about certain things. You don't ever really get over losing someone, you just learn to live with it.

Lady Lost

Aiya, I don't think I've ever been so torn on whether or not to watch a movie as this one. 😅 I was all about wanting to watch it until I saw the parts where M3gan looks like Chucky. I couldn't stand Chucky as a kid. 😨 I even liked the Crypt Keeper and his creepy laugh a lot better than Chucky. 😰 Maybe I'll just watch it with a sidewards screen like that Korean movie A Tale of Two Sisters. 😅 Which was also a great movie, another about loss, this time with a sister. Crazy delusions and hallucinations going on in that one. Koreans definitely know how to do scary. 😄😅😰 I heard there was an American remake as well. I don't know how that one went.

Drew Cornog

It is kind of a camp version of Childs Play. Uncanny valley through me off a bit, but it doesn't take itself seriously enough to be scary. That is just me, I liked it.

Drew Cornog

With this film, and how many toddlers I see playing with phones, I have made a preemptive decision to parenthood. No child of mine gets a device of their own until they are at least 13! No social media, app games, or any of the sort until then!

Sean Goettsche

For someone who’s got nothing better to do outside of work and use YouTube and video games for a distraction, I feel called out by this movie! 😅

Amelia from the BitchenBoutique

The actress who played M3gan was at Texas Frightmare Weekend last month and she is DELIGHTFUL. (Had to get that out of the way before I got serious.) Distraction from grief is a big deal with me. When my mother died, I was already on some antidepressants that weren’t quite right for me for over a year and I didn’t fully realize how numb I was, and then not long after the funeral I fell into a weirdly abusive friendship dynamic that felt really happy and positive until it suddenly ripped me to pieces. It distracted me from the grief by keeping me feeling way too good and then I hit bottom and grieved harder than ever. It took almost two years to fully work through all of that. It’s important to grieve in a timely and appropriate manner because putting it off and ignoring it makes it way way worse.

Emily Snell-Salvaggio

Yeeessss this film really was great!!! Exceeded expectations. Great job with the episode!

Morgyn Olson

My parents were very strict about screen time. They put passwords on the TV. We (the kids) were not allowed to have phones until we were old enough to sign the contract and pay for it ourselves. (Even then my parents put parental controls on it. For my 2 brothers at least.) We never had video games. I have a switch i bought that i let my brothers use every once in a while. They do have mp3 players. I am 26 now and i am grateful for those rules. It has helped me not be so overly attached. I dont need or really use social media. If I am watching something i am normaly doing tasks that need to get done while doing so. I play games every once in a while but it does not run my life.

Daniel Hailstone

The sad thing to me is how this attachment can happen with adults, especially when their avoiding the pain and we need our kids or other loved ones to wake us up! Great episode guys!

Anonymous

My life was almost like this. I had an atari pc from a pretty young age, maybe 5 or 6 I can't be sure but there were limits on using it. Later we got time on dad's modern (at the time) PC that I had to share with 2 sisters and of course dad when he needed it. But I never got a handheld device until I got given a gameboy colour when I left high school and mum got me a mobile phone (original Nokia brick) when going away to college, which of course only had snake as a game. I do use video games to destress, because that's what I've used all my life and it's only now I have a child of my own that I'm seeing a problem with that. I'm learning that when we're both in the right mindset, it's far more fun and rewarding to play with my kid and dive into his world but now i'm worried that he's also getting too much screentime and he's not connecting with us like he should do.

Anonymous

I get the impression that when a 'distraction' puts us off from grieving for so long and becomes a dependency. when that eventually goes away or is taken away, we end up grieving for more than one thing and that could possibly even snowball for more damage. I've lost people in my life, cousins, grandparents and a father. I think I have gone through healthy grief, sure there were games as a distraction, but I was still going through the daily work cycle so I couldn't hold onto games for too long. The daily struggles of life somehow just pull me through it.

Sadie

I have two young kids 19months apart and am a 3/4 stay at home parent (I do work occasionally). I can totally see the initial appeal of M3gan. I use movies, approved YouTube kids videos, and ABC mouse to take breaks or do housework. We don't have hard and fast screen time rules and the kids often drop it after a while to go play with thier toys. On the other hand, grief of any kind needs to be addressed timely. If you are too distracted from it, whether tech or hobby, you get attached to the distraction and it's difficult address those feelings later without completely breaking down.

Anonymous

As someone who doesn't like scary movies at all, let me just say thank you. Thank you for doing these cuts/edits in such a way that I can still enjoy your show without having to see the scary stuff. I really appreciate it!

Lynettra

i actually wasn't interested in this movie because i thought it was just a new take on Chucky and i don't watch scary movies on purpose, but now i think i will give it a try.

Scott Wilde

Going to Cinema Therapy as an avoidant distraction, seeing a video title, and having this team essentially give me a fresh set of eyes to look in my toolbox... It's a thing

SaucyJTD

I watched this with my husband and my bestie when she came to visit after watching this episode for the first time. My husband is not normally chatty during movies, but he was angry from almost start to finish with the creation of M3gan. He's an IT guy who is extremely paranoid with technology. We don't not have technology, of course. We have our computers, TVs, and other things... but my husband is strongly against having anything voice activated in our house. No Alexa or such. This movie has become his greatest example of why he will continue to never have anything like this in our home. One of the things he always says is that if you can activate something by a specific phrase, then that means that thing is constantly listening in order to know when to respond. M3gan reinforced this, and then some LOL. It was such a fun movie, to be sure! So glad I was able to watch it with others who had never seen it before, too!