Disregard Fantasy Changelog (Patreon)

I'm dealing with some obnoxious issues around the house, so I've decided to take this day off from writing and just relax. I have, however, been doing a great deal of editing and mulling and pulling. Rather than repost every change I made, have some update notes.

Chapter for DFAC tomorrow will assume you've read these changes. Till then.

Hans and Godfried, the other brothers, are mentioned but not yet seen. In line with what someone commented, I think the family, and most characters, will be best introduced slowly. Character bloat is a huge problem in JAS, and I want to remember that going forth.

First-person mentions of Willem's past are largely removed, and furthermore, I want to try to minimize the number of first-person POV's of Willem. I think people enjoy seeing the protagonist through the eyes of the denizens of this world.

I introduced more fantasy elements for Willem to ignore-- displays of aura, magic, et cetera. I've tried to parallel it to how many elders don't understand newer technologies, and therefore choose to ignore them. Willem is a boomer.

Countess Anne Claire is more closely involved in the business and the story. She's going to manage the society's unpaid members, and is the Society of Assured Prosperity's first customer. Willem, a former old man, sympathizes with her age problems and is nice to her. This deepens her impression of his saintliness.

I'm changing their house. It needs to be more distinct. I've yet to work out the finer details, but Willem ends up renting Anne Claire's old estate, the Diamant Manor, which is an estate her late husband gave to her. She moved out of it because it was difficult for her to bear the memories she made with him there after he passed. Now, she intends to use those memories to motivate herself.

I'm removing the Petronella misunderstanding, and overhauling how the church becomes involved. She'll still meet the gang next chapter, but not in such a stupid way. While I think the situation with Anne Claire was done well, Petronella's wasn't up to my standard. I don't want this story to become something full of frustrating and dumb misunderstandings. It's a little lazy if I can handwave character stupidity away with 'it's a comedy.' It should still be easy to suspend disbelief.

I'm changing Petronella's character entirely. I don't want to do a spy trope in its traditional, boring fashion. Instead, she's another one of those fantasy aspects that Willem will ignore-- in this case, she's a shapeshifting monster that enjoys playing tricks and riddles, and may or may not eat people. It also lines up with the new lore of the empire that Baron Tielman guards the border of.

The [Placeholder] Empire has been un-placeholdered. I name it the Canadev Sultanate. Originally I had planned to mirror the janissaries more directly, making their army composed of captured heathen slaves, and making their economy heavily slave-based. In the end, I'm keeping the essence while making it a bit more palatable for light reading.

Instead of people, the Canadev Sultanate uses tamed monsters, largely, be that in war or industry. Petronella is one such example. Theirs is a society of excess in its upper echelon, and their sultan is largely a figurehead before the incredibly influential viziers. I intend to blend the Mughals and Ottomans into one for them.

I'm very excited about how Willem will employ that VOC-mentaliteit on the sultanate, long-term.

That's it. I add a great deal in editing. On my first write-through, I often leave dialogue incredibly dry and boring, conveying only what's necessary to move the plot forward. It's in editing that I add personality and movement. The same goes for world-building, too.

JAS had many different drafts. Once upon a time, JAS was actually a vampire story-- hadn't decided on the title, though. There was another draft where Argrave was a red-headed elf, starting out in a redwood forest. There was another that was more heavily academy-focused, but I couldn't bring myself to write that out seriously. There was another where he woke up in a tower with an old man. In the end, I took elements of all those for the final product.

All that's to say... I hope you can bear with me for the bumpiness on this one. This is just how it works for me, until I feel the foundation is solid enough to write seamlessly (as with JAS).