The Weight of Experience Page 69 (Patreon)

The Yuki Log, backstory for those that want some lore! This is something I wanted to include but couldn't really fit it properly into the next few pages. Some topics however I will touch on throughout this story arc.

Yuki Backstory Log from Yuki's PoV:

It’s been 13 years since the accident but it feels so fresh, like I'm still that scared crying child.  Losing my parents hurt, it hurt more than anything I had ever experienced in life up to that point. However it wasn’t long before I found something even worse.

My Aunt and Uncle took me in, they knew I didn’t have anywhere else to go, but they had just started their own family. Not to mention the well paying job my Aunt was all but guaranteed decided she wasn’t as necessary as they had let on. Suddenly they had a growing family and a declining savings. Even so they never looked down on me. I wasn’t their son, I knew I was just a burden. I knew they really couldn’t afford to look after me. I wished they would lash out at me, I wished they would validate my guilt, but instead… No matter how much they struggled, no matter how many sacrifices they made, no matter how many long nights of overtime they worked they always greeted us with a smile. They always treated me like family and because of that I decided to dedicate my life to paying them back for the kindness that I didn’t deserve.

I was young, but I started watching them as they did the daily chores. It took a lot of pleading but I was able to convince them to let me pitch in a little bit. Eventually asking to take on more and more. They were too kind, they wanted me to do my own thing, to focus on my own interests, but what they didn’t know is none of that mattered to me. The guilt I felt was overwhelming and my only interest was giving back a little to the people who had given everything to me.

I did odd jobs for the neighbors. Mowing a lawn here and there, cleaning out an elderly couple's basement, anything I could do to work before I was 16. This was critical, I had to save all I could. I never spent a single dollar I earned, I had one goal. Finally on my 16th birthday I got my car, it wasn’t pretty, but it worked. I had already been studying to get my license, and despite my hesitance my uncle helped teach me to drive.

As soon as I was able I had a job! I could finally help out, I could finally give something back, take some of the burden off my guardians. At this point this was my life. I woke up early, did the house work, made breakfast for the kids, cleaned up and helped them get ready for school. I then shifted focus to my own studies, I went to school, I signed up for any extra credit lessons I could get. I spent any free time I had studying, and then I went to one of the many part time jobs I was able to line up. It started with just one or two at first, but I could never make enough money to help us catch up. Eventually I had a different job most every day of the week.

Everything was going so well, I was finally providing far more than I was taking. I was even able to spend money to take him out on dates, to spoil him… not like he wasn’t already beyond spoiled to begin with… but spoil him in a different way, let him indulge in his desires, something I would never be able to do… but then why did this happen? Was it some cruel joke of fate for seeking my own desires for once? 

My poor old second hand laptop booted it’s last startup screen never to process a word ever again. It had a good run lasting almost two decades but this was it. Maybe if I had been more careful I could have afforded a replacement, but for once in my life I wanted to go with my own desires. I wanted to feed that boy, to awaken something in him that I knew existed, that I knew we both wanted. 

Day after day I worked over time, between that and school days started blending together. I lost all track of time, of myself… so now for the first time in my life… I let my family down. Sitting outside all alone, I left my family when they needed me most.