So, what was up with the past six months? (Patreon)

Basically I went through a series of existential crises that I had to tackle.

One was closer to a standard mid-life crisis, pondering on life and death and eternity and similar things. I thought about  things relating to where I was in life and where it was all headed.

I'm not sure if it was related, but I also had a stint against modern networked life. I figured I was spending too much time online, and I ended up setting some boundaries for myself. I hoped this would help me regain something I felt I had lost (see: midlife crisis)

I also looked at what I was doing here. I started sensing that I was getting too addicted to the scene, to detriment of other things and people. I was not sure if what I was doing was aligned with what I was hoping to become.

So there were three things that all pointed towards disconnecting, and I thought many times if I should just stay out for good.

One day I stumbled onto some video talking Nietzsche's take on shame as obstacles limiting what one is to become. Something there shifted my thinking a little bit. I worried less about what I wasn't because I may not have had any choice but to become this.

At the same time I looked up things relating to universe, time. I envisioned the eternity before I could make any semblance of it, and the eternity that was to follow. It kind of brought me back to the now, where this life was there for me to explore.

Then there was the fact that I found a reason to start saving some money.

So I thought let's give this one more spin, but with some restrictions. I would only do work here during one day in the week (Saturday morn, usually). I would have to mentally log out, because I might easily spend the other days thinking and planning, and this I know has driven people to just stop.

I'm hopeful that, after all this, I'm now prepared with a plan and direction. Fun things ahead!