Thoughts about a break (Patreon)

As some of you guys have already seen, lately I've been upset that my Patreon still isn't up to par with patreons of artists who have similar art thematics and skill level. Upset I mean more than usual. I've been trying to bring my followers' attention, been trying to ask for help, but as very, very few actually listened and came to support me,  I felt disheartened and reasonably angry. Apparently thousands of my followers on DA and tumblr think that I'll be alright without their help. I will not.

I may have to reduce the significance of Patreon in my monthly life, until it starts finally paying off. Currently the amount of money it brings per month doesn't justify the effort I put in.

Several outside factors made me actually feel the lack of money, my usual monthly income isn't enough anymore. It drove me nearly obsessed over money, in the bad meaning of this word. My mental state is worse than some months ago and now I'm stressing over things really badly. A single mention of commission-related stuff could trigger me into panic that will persist over hours. It all has gotten really bad, and probably I'm just tired of drawing what people tell me to, overall, I haven't ever been too used to draw commissions on a monthly basis.

It all sounds like I just can't keep a steady pace and work like normal people do. In fact, yes, I can't. My mental state has been giving me additional worries lately. I'm afraid that if I keep pushing myself, something worse could happen.

Therefore. I'm considering taking a 1-2 months break from commissions and patron-driven fanarts. Early access drawings on 1st of the month will stay, I just need to spend some time without owed commission art looming over me. 

If I proceed and actually do this, I'll let you know in advance. For now I'm asking for your input on the situation. 

If I leave for a hiatus, those whose tiers are affected are free to edit their pledge or stop the patronage at all. If you're feeling generous enough, you can stay of course, and it will be greatly appreciated.

What I'm gonna do while I'm on a hiatus? I still need around $500 a month so I'll switch over to making adopts. I mean, making more adopts than I currently do. It's not ideal too, but at least there's no invisible pressure which any commission will put on me.

I'm currently working to deliver all the previous rewards, which are: 1 patron commission from last month, 2 from the current month, and 2 patron-driven fanarts. Next week, I'll come back and tell my decision for sure: if I choose to go on a hiatus, March commissions will not happen already. I'll make sure to contact the commission-tier patrons personally and warn them in advance.