it's asking season...greetings from sleepless NYC, couchsurfing on tour & a superkate farewell (Patreon)

hello my loves.

first of all: meryl streep and i shared a stage at lincoln center the other night with 10 other people reading poems, and i read ee cummings and played the ukulele anthem, and meryl said i should run for president in 2020, and she sang a lullaby for ash who she'd become smitten with backstage, and i died of fan-girl. there's almost nobody out there who reduces me to grovel level - but she's The Queen. especially lately, with her brave stances on art/trump/life...goddam, what an inspiring woman. i feel like i've received magical-wand transmission from somewhere sacred.

here's a photo....by hayley rosenblum, who was backstage with me:

and now....

greetings from new york city, where i had three fucking hours of sleep last night because Who Knows Why but ash decided to have a nervous breakdown. it was the first time since he was a tiny baby that i stared in shock and awe as he screamed at the top of his lungs for a full thirty minutes as if the sky was falling on his head. teething? the fact that he didn't really get a nutritious dinner (dinner was grapes)? has he finally hit the wall of sleeping in a different bed every single night for the last four months and unveiling his sorrow all at once? DOES HE HATE LIFE? a combination of all things, i imagine.

here's the thing, though. i've gotten so used to having a quiet chill-ass baby that i've become quite cavalier about where i sleep with him, and i decided for the past two nights in NYC to couchsurf at my friend lance's apartment. lance's apartment is an amazing crash-pad to many musicians, and so heavily trafficked with cabaret couchsurfers that he's dubbed it "the kibbutz". lance's kibbutz has four places to sleep if you include the couch but NO WALLS....so we were sleeping with a babysitter in the same room ten feet away, and a couple of actors on a double bed twenty feet away across a loft, and another friend of lance's right under us. lance, being the gracious host that he is, vacated his own kibbutz so we could all stay there (and is probably off shagging a fabulous man). the first night went fine. the baby went to bed and woke up for like thirty seconds as he usually does (he still sleeps with me) at around 3 am and snorfled into my boob and went back to slumberland.

yet, lo, last night at midnight, he was already asleep and i was tying up the last few emails and calls of the day (having a new manager in australia is awesome yet hairy...it means we talk every night at goddam 10:30 when i'm at my most astute)...when i heard the small moan from upstairs. said babysitter was already asleep so i rushed up to shoosh him. the other three kibbutz-mates were just getting home from an event. it all went downhill from there. ash wouldn't go back to sleep, the snorfles turned to cries, the cries turned to wails, one of the kibbutz-mates moved from lance's bed below me to the couch to get further away, and i, in a fit of guilt, fled the premises half-dressed with my hysterical baby and a stroller at 1 am, figuring i'd walk him around the block a few times, which would put him back to sleep. 

but it was pouring rain. 

lance's building has a doorman, and so there i was, half-dressed with a half-dressed baby, and a stroller, in the lobby of lance's kibbutz, trying to act natural as the doorman looked on in semi-horror as i stood there facing my uncertain fate.

"i was going to walk him outside. everyone in lance's is asleep." 

doorman looked at me.

"there's the basement."

so i went to the basement. and there, in that pit of flourescently lit hell, next to the industrial washing machines, was where ash decided that his world was absolutely falling apart. he screamed screams of a timbre i've never quite heard before.  and i really felt for him. i mean, all he wanted was a nice soft dark place to sleep and a mom to cuddle and soothe him, and there we were, half-naked and cold, in a flourescently lit basement with a hard, wet, concrete floor and nothing soft in sight. i sat down against a giant television recycling station and tried to nurse him, but he was so far gone that he couldn't even enjoy a boob. that's how bad it was. have you ever been so depressed you didn't even want wine? that was this baby. beyond repair.

the basement was depressing the fuck out of both of us, so after about 20 minutes of this, i crept back up to the lobby to see if the rain had let up, which it had, thank christ. 

and lo, this is why, if you happened to be hanging out on the corner of 73rd and columbus on the upper west side last night, you would have seen a weird-looking half-dressed lady with a baby wrapped up in a plaid shirt between the hours of 1-3:45 am passing by you not once, not twice, but nineteen or twenty times. 

by 3:45, he fell completely asleep. i snuck back into the kibbutz, prayed to god that he'd stay asleep, saw that lance's bed was still vacant since guest #2 was still huddled on the couch, brushed my teeth, considered finally taking the bath that i'd drawn at midnight, reluctantly decided that i might fall asleep in the bath and die....and then fell asleep by 4:15 am. and had to wake up at 8:20 am for a meeting. 

i'm tired.

also: i may have to rethink the wisdom of couchsurfing with a baby. 

ON THAT NOTE.... art of asking in effect, yo: i am not shitting you, but edward and the tour-crew for the upcoming tour ARE LOOKING FOR PLACES TO STAY. it's been awhile since i last put out the call to couchsurf while on the road...and it is going to be pretty hairy with the baby, but bear with me. we may be able to do this. staying with you guys will not only save us a ton of money but make us feel wonderful, and i'm ONLY putting this call out to patrons, not to The Internet At Large...that makes it feel a lot safer and cosier.

there are, at any given time, FIVE or SIX of us, and the baby. that's a lot of beds to find all in once place, so we may wind up doing crew/hotel combos...meaning if you put your hand up, be ready for any combination of people (me, baby, crew, edward, patrick-the-violinst, nanny, etc!)

if you can put us up on any of the days below, shoot us an email at management@amandapalmer.net with a description of your joint (pretty essential: address/distance to venue? van parking? number of actual beds? pull-out couches? flights of stairs? wifi? kids? dogs? cats?)... and pictures if you got em. please put the CITY you're from in the subject of your email so we can sort shit. we'll try to get back to everybody but if we're inundated you may not hear back, so be understanding!  

and as usual, we'll shower you with love, merch, tickets to the shows. don't forget we are on the road and also need to sleep and breathe and rest and check our email...this isn't an instant all-night bohemian party at your house. 

USA 

may 20-21st - new york city  - pref. close to either bowey ballroom Or rough trade in brooklyn

may 22-23rd - san francisco

may 24-25th - los angeles  

EUROPE 

may 31st - warsaw  

june 1st - munich  

june 4th - prague  

june 5th - hamburg  

.........

and another piece of news from the world of the office...

after six+ years of dedicated and beautiful service to me and neil, team AFP, and the dresden dolls, the amazing superkate is moving on from her post as my amazing personal assistant.

i’m really, really gonna miss her. 

she’s been a hugging machine, a trusted ally, a reliable witness of an insane life, a friend, a confidant, and a savior many times over when i’ve been in a tight spot at an airport check-in desk.

i know a lot of you have had experiences with kate: at shows, at book-signings, over email, with questions....she's been a huge and important part of this community and fan-family for years.  

here's a perfect example of the awesomeness of kate...this summer, kate came to upstate new york to help out with the "wynken blynken and nod" video shoot and wound up being IN the video...she's the one with the half-shaved head on the left at the beginning, chatting with me (and little maddy gaiman, not so little anymore, on the right): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWa2w9pYuWQ. 

superkate... "thank you" is not enough. you’ve been an integral part of my life, art, music, career, and family for so years...and my appreciation is going to be eternal. 

and yes, i am indeed looking for a new personal assistant...if you have any serious candidates in mind, please send them over to melissa+amandapalmer@firstworldagency.com (she’s an agent that i met through neil's son - my, gulp, step-son -  who is helping me herd possibilities together for in-person interviews starting in a few weeks. seriously serious applicants only: this job is not for a n3wb or the faint of heart. and again...if you don't hear back, don't stress. no idea what kind of response we will get.

...................

lastly: 

THINGS ARE COMING!!!!!!!!!!

please prepare your headphones and bath salts.

i'm going to be releasing my favorite song from the edward record in just a few days. i'm going to beg on bended eyeballs that you give it a real listen...it's very very very close to my heart.

all-one and happy spring, everybody. 

x
x
a

-----------THE NEVER-ENDING AS ALWAYS-----------

1. if you’re a patron, please click through to comment on this post. at the very least, if you’ve read it, indicate that by using the heart symbol. i know, i know. 

2. see All the Things i've made so far on patreon: http://amandapalmer.net/patreon-things/

3. join the official AFP-patron facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/afpland/

4. AFP-patreon-related questions? ask away, someone will answer:
patronhelp@amandapalmer.net